I am sorry this has happened Craig. I agree with Jane but would add that Flo needs to get accustomed to your new Rabbit, the way he smells and the fact he is different to Leo. This takes time and you will have to be patient, as I know you will be. I am not sure if 2 rooms need to be used or just one, but any aggression through bars must not be allowed. Small steps is the way to go and less freedom will not do them any harm. xx
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- Thread starter Craig 1965
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Craig 1965
Warren Veteran
Thank you everyone for such supportive and honest views and also the huge amount of advice from your collective experience. I am grateful.
I have agreed with Peanut's parents that I will bring him back home to them next week. I appreciate that many of you might feel that I am perhaps throwing in the towel too quickly, but I have not taken this decision lightly. I feel I've let everyone down so badly but at the same time I also am very much aware of the huge disruption to both Peanut and Flo's lives this is causing. Peanut is a dearly loved, very special rabbit who has amazing bun-parents who have looked after him and protected him for all his life and through no ones fault, Peanut lost his companion. Peanut is grieving and I feel that this adjustment for him is putting too much on him. But my main concern is the reaction from Flo which I must admit to being very nieve with. I completely under-estimated how volitile she would be and how totally resistant she would be and Flo's reactions, whilst some have said are quite understandable, I'm afraid pose a very real danger to Peanut and any bond. Peanuts safety is my over-riding priority - he is a sweet, gentle beautiful rabbit who is very comfortable with human interaction. he is confident and has a beautiful aura about him. I do not feel it is fair to place further stress or anxiety on him as I must respect his emotions and feelings. And whilst companionship is what bunnies naturally need, Peanut has got all of that with his amazing bun-parents.
Right now, he has our garden to run about in and he is enjoying that element but he is missing the sanctuary of perhaps coming into a home and interacting more with humans. And right now that is impossible for me to do because of Flo. And Flo is my long term problem. She has some major emotional issues and she's lost 3 companions in less than a 6 months and moved home 3 different times. I just see behaviour in Flo that I do not like - the rigid body posture, the anxiety and pacing round her kitchen/diner area whenever she sees Peanut out, ears thrust forward and tail pushed very much out. As much as I have blocked off access from the front of the hutch when Peanut is inside so she cannot get to the bars, she looks for ways round the back to get in. She's working things out and I am more than worried and concerned.
It's a heartwrenching decision because I'm not just effecting one rabbit, I'm effecting two, and I'm also letting everyone down because I just do not have the skill set or the available facilities to undertake a bond with Flo. It upsets me more than I can put in words and I feel utterly rubbish because I've failed. Its is going to be a very difficult few days ahead - I am sad beyond words Sad for not being able to help these two bunnies. But I know that Peanut will be reunited with his home, and he will be loved and adored as he deserves to be.
Sorry I could not give you all a more positive update but sometimes the hardest decisions we must make are also for the better for those we love and care for.
Craig x
I have agreed with Peanut's parents that I will bring him back home to them next week. I appreciate that many of you might feel that I am perhaps throwing in the towel too quickly, but I have not taken this decision lightly. I feel I've let everyone down so badly but at the same time I also am very much aware of the huge disruption to both Peanut and Flo's lives this is causing. Peanut is a dearly loved, very special rabbit who has amazing bun-parents who have looked after him and protected him for all his life and through no ones fault, Peanut lost his companion. Peanut is grieving and I feel that this adjustment for him is putting too much on him. But my main concern is the reaction from Flo which I must admit to being very nieve with. I completely under-estimated how volitile she would be and how totally resistant she would be and Flo's reactions, whilst some have said are quite understandable, I'm afraid pose a very real danger to Peanut and any bond. Peanuts safety is my over-riding priority - he is a sweet, gentle beautiful rabbit who is very comfortable with human interaction. he is confident and has a beautiful aura about him. I do not feel it is fair to place further stress or anxiety on him as I must respect his emotions and feelings. And whilst companionship is what bunnies naturally need, Peanut has got all of that with his amazing bun-parents.
Right now, he has our garden to run about in and he is enjoying that element but he is missing the sanctuary of perhaps coming into a home and interacting more with humans. And right now that is impossible for me to do because of Flo. And Flo is my long term problem. She has some major emotional issues and she's lost 3 companions in less than a 6 months and moved home 3 different times. I just see behaviour in Flo that I do not like - the rigid body posture, the anxiety and pacing round her kitchen/diner area whenever she sees Peanut out, ears thrust forward and tail pushed very much out. As much as I have blocked off access from the front of the hutch when Peanut is inside so she cannot get to the bars, she looks for ways round the back to get in. She's working things out and I am more than worried and concerned.
It's a heartwrenching decision because I'm not just effecting one rabbit, I'm effecting two, and I'm also letting everyone down because I just do not have the skill set or the available facilities to undertake a bond with Flo. It upsets me more than I can put in words and I feel utterly rubbish because I've failed. Its is going to be a very difficult few days ahead - I am sad beyond words Sad for not being able to help these two bunnies. But I know that Peanut will be reunited with his home, and he will be loved and adored as he deserves to be.
Sorry I could not give you all a more positive update but sometimes the hardest decisions we must make are also for the better for those we love and care for.
Craig x
Cuthbert&Dillon
Mama Doe
Craig you have let no one down, as you say in your post you have made decisions based on what is best for all you love and care for - no one can ask for more than that. x
KCG
Warren Veteran
I support your decision. You don't feel bad because our brains really make the right decisions. If you have made this decision, it shows that it is the right decision for the time being. Because we live in the present, not in the future. It's very brave of you to face it and make honest decisions. Craig, I congratulate you on your brave.
Pets mum
Wise Old Thumper
I agree that you are not letting anyone down Craig. You tried, and who's to say a bond would have happened or not. You must do what feels right for you, Jan and both buns. Try not to be hard on yourself, you have a very loving heart, and if Flo never had another bunny companion, she is still a very lucky bun being in your care. Big hug for you Craig xx
MimzMum
Wise Old Thumper
For what it's worth, Craig, your choice resonates with me...my thought is that it's not only Flo who isn't ready for a partner, but you yourself might have been too drained for this endeavor. And that's understandable considering what you've gone through.
As lovely as Peanut is, and I know you'd take brilliant care of him were he an only bun or destined to be one of two, you are thinking of his needs as well and I think that's testament of how considerate and caring you are. Really, unless the two of them had gone together as Leo and Flo had it just wasn't meant to be and that's fine. He has a home still and isn't being handed over to a shelter to wait endless days so I think this is the best way forward.
When we are tired and down it's very difficult to pull a brave face and slog through anyway. Some folks can do it, but some of us just hurt a bit too much or too deeply and we can't help but have it affect us and those around us. IME, especially of late, there are times when even the right thing seems wrong somehow and it's annoying how we feel we have to defend that decision. Your words tell me you are still in pain over Leo and that can't just be set aside. Even if you were to try with another female bun to give Flo a friend I think the result would be the same; and in most cases it's much harder to bond two does anyway.
There is hope for Flo. Some does will simply not take on another mate and yet will do well as a single bun. I cite Jack's-Jane's Lady Lydia. She lost her mate, Sir Victor, some years before she passed and never accepted another bond. But she spent that time happily and quite fussed over. As you know, Jane takes excellent care of her bunnies and they do not want for anything. Lydia was a strong lass, much like how I perceive Flo to be. I think Flo will be okay. And so will you. And so will Peanut.
I agree with others here that you've made the best decision and you haven't fooled around with it. I applaud you. And I really hope that you won't beat yourself up over it. We can all try. We might not all succeed. But the effort has been made. All will be well.
Thinking of you, Jan and Flo. I hope things settle back down soon for all concerned. xx
As lovely as Peanut is, and I know you'd take brilliant care of him were he an only bun or destined to be one of two, you are thinking of his needs as well and I think that's testament of how considerate and caring you are. Really, unless the two of them had gone together as Leo and Flo had it just wasn't meant to be and that's fine. He has a home still and isn't being handed over to a shelter to wait endless days so I think this is the best way forward.
When we are tired and down it's very difficult to pull a brave face and slog through anyway. Some folks can do it, but some of us just hurt a bit too much or too deeply and we can't help but have it affect us and those around us. IME, especially of late, there are times when even the right thing seems wrong somehow and it's annoying how we feel we have to defend that decision. Your words tell me you are still in pain over Leo and that can't just be set aside. Even if you were to try with another female bun to give Flo a friend I think the result would be the same; and in most cases it's much harder to bond two does anyway.
There is hope for Flo. Some does will simply not take on another mate and yet will do well as a single bun. I cite Jack's-Jane's Lady Lydia. She lost her mate, Sir Victor, some years before she passed and never accepted another bond. But she spent that time happily and quite fussed over. As you know, Jane takes excellent care of her bunnies and they do not want for anything. Lydia was a strong lass, much like how I perceive Flo to be. I think Flo will be okay. And so will you. And so will Peanut.
I agree with others here that you've made the best decision and you haven't fooled around with it. I applaud you. And I really hope that you won't beat yourself up over it. We can all try. We might not all succeed. But the effort has been made. All will be well.
Thinking of you, Jan and Flo. I hope things settle back down soon for all concerned. xx
InspectorMorse
Wise Old Thumper
I need to emphasise that Lydia really was an exception to the rule. I would not want anyone to read this and think I endorse keeping a lone Rabbit. It really is exceptionally rare that a Rabbit refuses to bond with any other Rabbit and is happier alone. I attempted to re-bond Lydia with at least 10 other Rabbits and even attempted bonding her to a pair to make a Trio as I know that 99.9% of Rabbits are happier with a Rabbit friend.
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MimzMum
Wise Old Thumper
I'm sorry, Jane, I wasn't implying that just any rabbit could live alone, nor was I trying to single Lady Lydia out. But she was the one example I could think of who simply had a stronger bond with Sir Victor, even after his passing, than most bunnies would exhibit. She was truly unusual and extraordinary.
I remember all your bonding attempts with her. You really tried to give her the best possible chance to have a partner again. Lady Lydia was of her own mind in the matter though! :shock:
InspectorMorse
Wise Old Thumper
No worries, I am just passionate about Rabbits needing the companionship of another Rabbit and wanted to make sure the example of LL was never read as being the norm
There was very little ‘normal’ about either Lady Lydia or her one and only Sir Victor :lol:
The nature of a female Rabbit is to protect her territory. Breeders say never put a Buck into a Doe's hutch as she will kill him! Even when she is desperate to have babies! I feel sorry for the Bunnies and for Rhianna and her friends. I personally think you have given up too soon but I know Rabbits can put us in awkward positions and it is hard to know what to do for the best. Does Jan agree that sending him back is the best way forward?
a reader of books
Warren Veteran
I'm not sure I should say this, but I kind of agree with tonibun. You know Flo and Peanut better than we do, of course, Craig, and it's clear that you've given it a lot of thought, and I know you're going through a really terrible time after having lost Leo, and I respect that, but I feel like you're not really solving a problem here, because this same thing is always going to happen. You can wait a year and try with a different bunny, but if you're going to put that bunny in Flo's territory and you don't have a neutral bonding space, this exact thing will just happen again. So, unless you're planning on keeping Flo as a solo bunny, which I don't think would be fair to such a young bunny, you're going to have to go through this bonding process someday one way or another. I'm not saying this because I want to criticise your decision, because I know you did what you felt is best for everyone involved, but I just wanted to mention something you might not have considered.
Yes I'm thinking this too.
You know this situation best though Craig, but I'm wondering how you'll bond Flo if this is the case. I had a terrible time with Atticus and Clementine (who are back together pls no one jinx it [emoji38]) I sent them off to be bonded in the end and then neutralised everything here to death and also kept them in a small area for a little longer than I'd have like.. But Clementine gets so territorial and Atticus wouldn't back down.. It was just a recipe for disaster, they needed to be out of their environment and safe space I think for them to ever realise they actually liked each other.
Atticus and Clementine have really spooked me about rabbit bonding.. I don't think I'd ever attempt it now, which is probably not fair because I don't think most buns are quite as highly strong and easily aggressive as those two.
This is one thing I hate about bunnies, they need a buddy but also want to kill every other bun.. Its exhausting!
CarelessSquid07
Mama Doe
I haven't really posted because I too feel like this would always have happened when introducing a boy into Flo's territory.
I also think back to the wobble you had with Flo when she first arrived but she's now settled in beautifully.
Bonding can feel cruel at times with each bun not quite getting everything they want in terms of attention and space but in the long term its well worth it.
And hoomans have to sacrifice space and sleep for it too, I still can't remember much of Jan sleeping on the floor with the bonding pen in fits and bursts and having to clear the spare room to do it but I look at how loved up my two are and it was worth it.
Would the rescue Flo came from offer some bonding help? Since she's familiar with them it may not elicit the same reaction as the vets and she is so young to stay single.
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I also think back to the wobble you had with Flo when she first arrived but she's now settled in beautifully.
Bonding can feel cruel at times with each bun not quite getting everything they want in terms of attention and space but in the long term its well worth it.
And hoomans have to sacrifice space and sleep for it too, I still can't remember much of Jan sleeping on the floor with the bonding pen in fits and bursts and having to clear the spare room to do it but I look at how loved up my two are and it was worth it.
Would the rescue Flo came from offer some bonding help? Since she's familiar with them it may not elicit the same reaction as the vets and she is so young to stay single.
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I must admit I agree with the others but having said that I find bonding incredibly stressful, especially as I live alone and have to separate them every time I need the loo or to make a drink. It does need a neutral space though and I hadn't realised you weren't able to do that. Peanut is such a laid back bun too.
Ultimately it is your decision though and I know how much you love Flo and how seriously you take your position as Peanut's current caregiver. Having pets is supposed to be therapeutic and de-stressing - I think maybe bunnies are the exception to that a lot of the time!
Ultimately it is your decision though and I know how much you love Flo and how seriously you take your position as Peanut's current caregiver. Having pets is supposed to be therapeutic and de-stressing - I think maybe bunnies are the exception to that a lot of the time!
Scrappy's Little Helper
Mama Doe
I think I've said this before, but it's the great bunny paradox! They're biologically programmed to have friends, but as soon as you give them one their initial response to new friend is "I hate you and I want to kill you!"
A bit of fur pulling and humping later it becomes "I love you, you're my bestest friend in the whole world!"
