What would you do? UD haha I was right!

[Sarah1989]

Sorry Sarah but I'm with parsnipbun all the way on this one. If I'm correct you and your oh don't live together officially, so you're not responsible for him or his son financially. I hope you're only dipping into your nans money for yourself and not to fund your oh's social life.

Back to your original question, I know there's no way you'd let those buns suffer, so ask for the money up front for neutering and vacs, and offer to get them through the neutering and the rebonding. If they not prepared to do that you either have to harden your heart and give them back now or have a chat with a rescue about taking them.

If your oh feels so strongly, suggest he stops drinking so he can fund their care.

Sorry if this sounds harsh, its not meant to, I just hate the thought you're being taken for granted or used.

No, my salary covers the bills & then I have to use my savings to buy food for the month, put petrol in the car & stuff like that. I've been doing that since January and took a huge hit with Blackavar's illness. It's got to the point now where I can't cut back any more & I do not want to use any more of my savings if it all possible as I'm at real risk of running out & then we're all

Now his son is living with him, he will not be moving in with me like the intention was next year. But he still stays at my house, eating my food (to be fair he does all the cooking as I'm hopeless), using my water & electricity and on weekends they're both here. He gives me nothing. So I guess inadvertently I'm funding him by letting him stay & use stuff on a regular basis with no contribution.

I don't want the bunnies to suffer - they didn't ask for any of this - which is why I offered in the first place, but now I can't and I really hate the saying, but it's really not my problem. I have enough problems of my own & the chaos from OH & his baggage is only making them worse but I love him & dream of a day where we can just live in peace & be happy together so I hang on in there.

 

[Babsie]

Couldn't your o/h help out with the money needed for neutering?


ETA Having just seen your post saying he gives you nothing towards any of the bills when he and his son stay, I guess the answer to my question is 'no'!

 

[Tamsin]

I think you have to be practical with what you can provide. They are the rabbits' owners and they are responsible for costs. You can give them a range of options for how they can do that, but ultimately the rabbits belong to them.

If you can't afford it financially then you can't. To be honest the odds of two male rabbits that have fought being rebonded are a bit of a long shot so even paying for neutering may have negligible effect on their welfare long term. Maybe see if anywhere is offering free/discount neutering in your area and point them that way. Likewise, vaccinations only help if they are going to keep them up - which it sounds like not.

 

[Sarah1989]

Update:
So like the idiotic soft touch I am I got them neutered but am not paying for vaccinations. £130 for their snips was enough. They're also out of food & bedding they came with so now they're not only eating my hay, they're eTing my pellets & unless collected this weekend, need cleaning out & bedding on my fitch. OH wants me to collect him from work at 10om to take him to the pub to celebrate surviving a week without alcohol as he's been in antibiotics for his bronchitis. Then I have to get up tomorrow at 8am & 4.30am in Sunday to take him to work & collect him both days. He's been at mine all week but has done sweet FA towards housework so it's a complete bombsite, fly infested & I'm really cheesed off. I had to take him to work at stupid o clock last Saturday & Sunday and also either take him/collect him everyday this week too. What he would do without me I don't know. And I don't know what I get out of this relationship that makes it worth it :evil: it was lovely having peace & quiet the other week when he was in mablethorpe. I was actually not looking firwRd to him coming home. Think I might use the last of my savings & book a nice holiday for next year without him! It's not like he can pay for it and I'm not paying for us both it's far too expensive!

 

[Rosie42]

Update:
So like the idiotic soft touch I am I got them neutered but am not paying for vaccinations. £130 for their snips was enough. They're also out of food & bedding they came with so now they're not only eating my hay, they're eTing my pellets & unless collected this weekend, need cleaning out & bedding on my fitch. OH wants me to collect him from work at 10om to take him to the pub to celebrate surviving a week without alcohol as he's been in antibiotics for his bronchitis. Then I have to get up tomorrow at 8am & 4.30am in Sunday to take him to work & collect him both days. He's been at mine all week but has done sweet FA towards housework so it's a complete bombsite, fly infested & I'm really cheesed off. I had to take him to work at stupid o clock last Saturday & Sunday and also either take him/collect him everyday this week too. What he would do without me I don't know. And I don't know what I get out of this relationship that makes it worth it :evil: it was lovely having peace & quiet the other week when he was in mablethorpe. I was actually not looking firwRd to him coming home. Think I might use the last of my savings & book a nice holiday for next year without him! It's not like he can pay for it and I'm not paying for us both it's far too expensive!

I can't help but feel that you're being taken advantage of- both with the rabbits, and with your OH. There is no way I would ever get up at 4:30am to take someone to work, especially if it was my day off!

 

[Boots]

I can't help but feel that you're being taken advantage of- both with the rabbits, and with your OH. There is no way I would ever get up at 4:30am to take someone to work, especially if it was my day off!

I'm sorry to get involved and I don't mean to stick my nose in, but I agree with Rosie here. Perhaps this is a light being shined on your relationship and the opportunity to reflect on your future?

You are a sweet and kind person for getting those buns neutered and I'm sure they will benefit from it. Maybe ignore your savings for a while now—almost pretend they don't exist? Then you'll be stronger when you have to make your decisions.

Wishing you peace of mind xxx

 

[dumblepaws]

Sarah, you are awesome
Yeah. I think that's a good place to stop

 

[Zoobec]

Sarah, you aren't idiotic, but you are definitely too nice ( to everybun and everyone else anyway) it's time to be nice to you now :thumb: do what you want to do, not what everyone else wants you to do :thumb:

 

[Sarah1989]

Awww thank you everyone

Well some good news is that he has a lift on Sunday so no 4.30 wake up for me wooooo!!

 

[Den]

Oh Sarah, you are such a great, kind person.

I have 3 (now grown up) stepsons. More problems now than when they little.

Well done for getting those bunnies neutered, but now pretend your savings are gone and start looking after number 1 - YOU

 

[Sarah1989]

So after OH & spent last week nagging ex wife to retrieve said bunnies, we got a response today. "Can't have them" :roll: I knew all this was going to happen as soon as I heard they got bunnies back in January. I knew they weren't going to be able to take proper care of them, or even want to, & then they'd get dumped on me.

Sooooo, anybody want to suggest anywhere who might want them? I can't keep them. I know rescues are probably chocka but are there waiting lists I can apply to or something?


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[Sarah1989]

Oh Sarah, you are such a great, kind person.

I have 3 (now grown up) stepsons. More problems now than when they little.

Well done for getting those bunnies neutered, but now pretend your savings are gone and start looking after number 1 - YOU

Yes, I'm going too! I'm getting better with my MH and standing up for myself a bit more. Or maybe not, but I feel more able to and that's the most important thing

I am seriously thinking about going away next year. I quite fancy New Zealand or tornado chasing or a Caribbean cruise. Going to price it up anyway. And I won't be taking the OH! Two weeks away by myself, 5* accommodation. Bliss


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[mushlett]

Oh ffs, sometimes it sucks to be proved right, I always end up with people's discarded pets and its annoying ending up with a massive responsibility that you never signed up for. I feel for you, could you speak to the kind souls of RU who post the pets in need of homes section? You never know an ruer may fall for them? Best of luck to you xx

 

[Rosie42]

Maybe you could get in touch with rescues and you could act as a fosterer while they advertise them on their site? Also maybe put them up on rabbit rehome?

I think that rescues should be happy to help as you have paid for them to be spayed/ neutered and that is the most costly part.

 

[Zoobec]

Oh no, that is just so unfair on you after all you've done for them I can't think of any other ideas other than what people have already suggested.

 

[Sarah1989]

I have just PM'd SOAD to get an ad up on here & will also contact some rescues today. I got them neutered as I figured that's the most expensive bit so hopefully a rescue won't mind too much vaccinating them. They are nice bunnies & I feel sorry for them but I cannot keep them, not with my own gang too. Everybun would suffer & it's not fair to them & I also don't want to set a precedent - "oh let's keep buying pets & when we get bored, dump them on Sarah again. She doesn't mind!" :evil:


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