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Jenna 5-17-08 to 10-9-23

Thank you, both.
My daughter and I traveled to the next town to see our doctor yesterday. It was the first time we went long distance without having Jenna with us. I don't think I could've made the journey alone, although it had been years since Jenna traveled with me. It was very strange, nonetheless.
While we did some shopping after out appointments there was a lady in line before us who had the best behaved wee French bulldog/Boston terrier cross seated in her cart wearing an ESA jacket. We didn't speak with her but could overhear the checker asking questions about her. I teared up for a moment remembering how Jenna would sleep in her go bag or her sling in happier days and how she helped me be able to do tasks by myself in strange places. I'm not sure I need that help anymore unless I'm already heavily stressed, but my anxiety doesn't play out the same way it used to.

Now, I just miss the companionship. But it's been so cold and I was so incredibly exhausted from the trip I wound up leaving work early last night. I think she used to energize me on jaunts like that. Now it's like I don't have that reserve anymore. I attribute it to aging, really, but being sure we traveled safely and came home in one piece was paramount and took all my focus especially when Jenna was with me.
She wouldn't be enjoying the autumn Oregon weather this year. It's truly draining me, I know she would've been uncomfy even if her health hadn't deteriorated.

It's odd that I'm still having to equivocation her absence to myself. Guess it's all part of it. I still feel so numb about both her and Sully. Everything in the stores is Christmas already and I'm just not into it. But I got a new thumb drive to begin storing backups of her photos so I hope once I get them organized I can choose some for this thread.
Over two and a half months now...I think? Time is a blur without you to mark the passage of days.

I went to our beach today with Sully's ashes. You would've loved it, the sea was so calm and while it's by no means warm out it's nicer than it's been lately. Hardly any wind. Peaceful. As I hope you are.

My heart is a void without you. ๐Ÿ’”
I can't remember how it felt to hold you.
I don't know how I'm managing to go on, but I know you'd have wanted me to.
Come visit me, beautiful. I miss you so much.๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ญ
Love you always.โค๏ธ๐Ÿ’”โค๏ธ๐Ÿ’” xxxxx1000005189.jpg
Thank you, everyone. ๐Ÿ™‚
I worked all afternoon on reorganizing my memorial. It's now on my headboard and includes special items of Jenna's and her urn, plus Sully's, Griffyn's (cat) and photos of my Bridge dog who passed the month before Jenna came to us, Shadow. He's the only one I don't have ashes for because we buried him at our home in Alaska, ๐Ÿ˜ฅ so I have a husky plush, some pictures and a statue of a wolf with angel wings.
I'll try to attach some pics once I feel I've gotten the final order set. I kept changing it yesterday so I was too tired by bedtime to take any. ๐Ÿ˜ฎโ€๐Ÿ’จ
Pictures of the memorial should be very nice when it is done.
Jenna looks like a little angel, so it is not hard to imagine her with wings sitting on your shoulder and helping you get through each day.
In time I hope the wonderful memories of her life with you will overshadow the sadness you feel today. Hugs.
Beautiful photos MM, sorry I missed them somehow. You gave them both a wonderful life, however long or short, sending you many hugs xxx
I can't believe it's two and a half months. Big big hugs xxx
I'm wrong. Sorry. She only passed 9 October. I don't know how I thought it was 2 months. Just feels like that I guess. ๐Ÿ˜ฅ

Someone came into the store with a Yorkie in their arms yesterday and I couldn't concentrate on my work. I followed her just long enough to see them go down the bread aisle then thought, what am I doing? Stalking a dog? ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿคฃ I really wanted to go up and speak to her, but was afraid I'd come off as creepy. She was obviously trying to get last minute stuff for Thanksgiving and I didn't want to be a pest. The Yorkie was a lot bigger than Jenna...likely a male and probably pedigree.

I haven't realized till now how tiny she really was. Even at full health she was so dinky. I found some hard copy photos I forgot I had. You guys won't think it's the same dog.

Let's see if the forum will be nice and let me post them.

Argh...they show up...but upside down. ๐Ÿ˜ก I'll have to edit them or post to Imgur first, maybe. ๐Ÿ˜ฎโ€๐Ÿ’จ

BYB, bunny momma and Pet's mum, thank you too for your kind words. The closer we get to Christmas, the more often I randomly break down. The empty bed, the quiet porch...I can only ignore so much. ๐Ÿ˜ฅ I have Ebon to concentrate on now, but it's not the same.
Hey, they work if I leave out the text! I think I'll just post these for now though...don't want to break the new forum. ๐Ÿ‘
Thanks all ๐Ÿ™‚ Sorry for the state of me in the one...judging from the darkness outside the kitchen window in the old house, it was likely dead of winter and near bedtime. ๐Ÿ˜†
Thank you ๐Ÿ™‚
Of course these are photos of her aged approximately 2-4 years old. In her senior years she looked very little like this, but most of the photos of the last 3 years are of her sleeping and are post eye surgery with her tongue hanging out. It's the dog I lived with the most intently and I barely remember her as she was back then.๐Ÿ˜ฅ
She lost all her confidence and bubbly personality with her eyesight. I sometimes think that would have been the time to let her go. ๐Ÿ˜ข
Thank you bunny momma โค๏ธ
I didn't often take photos with her, so it also struck me, especially on her last day, how tiny she truly was. Everyone used to call her my "little fox." There will never be another like her.