I am putting one of my 6yo rabbits to sleep today at 6pm (UK time) and I am just filled with doubt about it. Apologies I will digress a little bit here
A few weeks ago she seemed to be a little out of sorts, but eating, enjoying treats. She then started laying at the bottom of her hutch (which is in the house in the conservatory not outside, I just don’t own this so I can’t let them run free as they enjoy chewing walls and furniture! They run about the garden during the day), she was still eating but I had to take the food to her – she wasn’t excited or grabbing at it as usual, but eating plenty.
Last Thursday evening she stopped eating. I contacted the vets and took her in immediately, suspecting stasis.
When they were checking her over they found a lump. She is so tiny and furry it’s hard to notice – they both don’t enjoy being handled , but even if so I doubt I would have noticed it, where it was located on her jaw. I was given antibiotics, pain meds and syringe feed and booked in for a scan on Monday.
The scan results were far worse than we had imagined. It seemed to have ballooned, and it showed an abscess (2 as we later found out), and her teeth were in a very bad way. There seems to be a root in the abscess, maybe a cracked tooth, misaligment. It was all so sudden.
They recommended euthanising, and I was in floods, I could barely think straight. It did not feel right, so I went back to discuss the xray and ask – so what can I do. It was beyond their skill to fix but I don’t care there must be someone. Don’t care about the cost.
She referred me to a specialist – I believe an exotic pet specialist – she got me in the day after – despite being on holiday she reviewed the scans they sent over and made time for me. I took her in, talked over the xray, and how a CT scan would be necessary. I got the quotes, and agreed to get the surgery done next week, I was aware of the after care, the potential lifetime of dental work and expense. Doesn’t matter all that matters is my little girl and that she can eat again on her own and have a good quality of life. She can enjoy more years. I even contacted my friend who voulnteers at an animal shelter and she would help me with the after care if I needed it, no question, the flushing, the meds, she was my hero
The vet called me after – sadly, the scan revealed multiple tumours all over her little body as well. Likely due to the fact she had not been neutered – her mate had been, but to my shame, at the time i needed to do it I went through some difficult personal times that I won’t go into detail about and it had fallen by the wayside. The last few years had been tough. I feel horribly ashamed that I didn’t work harder to find a way and make it my priority. I am just making excuses.
The cruellest part of all, is after so much hard work and sacrifice I have just bought a house, with a big back garden, for them. It made me so happy to think they were going to have all this amazing space, and they could live in the house again, and I could fling the doors open and let them play out all day while I sit and work. So excited to show them. And to add insult to injury I had planned her neutering in the next few weeks. If I had known the real risks of not getting it done sooner I would have moved mountains. Stupid, stupid, irresponsible. Careless. Crushing guilt I will always carry.
She seems to be bright. Far from her old self but loves a bit banana (the only thing she is able to eat on her own, and her favourite), is taking her meds well, seems to be well, taking her syringe feed well – like she is saying look dad, I can do it. I’m ok.
Sadly we don’t live in the cartoons and I know this isn’t reality. She has lost a lot of weight – down to 1.5kg at the first vet (she is a tiny rabbit even at the best of times, 2k at most I would say), and had went up to 1.52, but I know that the tumours are likely taking most of the food.
I asked the specialist, what if I keep going. Syringe feed, meds, will she have any quality of life? She said no.
I don’t want to find her lying at the bottom of the garden one day, scared, starving to death. Rabbits with tumours can starve. I want the last thing I can do for her because I love her, is to take all the pain away.
She just seems so – not ready to go. But one more day is one more day then one more day again. She is just lying under her favourite spot in the garden right now, but she is not as lively as she used to be. I am terrified I am jumping the gun, and she could enjoy a while longer. The specialist recommended putting her to sleep within 24 hours. I don’t want to keep going out of my own guilt but I was so close to giving her the beautiful home I have promised them for years.
They live in the conservatory here, in a gigantic hutch – far too big for them – but they play out in the garden every day. I feed them great fresh veggies, they always have hay, they have treats galore. I just want them to be safe from danger and happy. It has been commented on more than once that they eat better than most humans because I spoil my pets. Even my old hamster lived like a king, as it should be for our little family members.
The pain of tonight will be the pain next week, or in weeks, it won’t be any easier. But she seems – she wants to fight. Brave. She is so brave despite how much pain she must be in, and I know a lot of this will be down to the medication. I am scared for her mate and how he will be. Afraid for tomorrow morning when I wake up and she isn’t there.
Terrified I am being hasty. That she could go on a few more weeks. Her mate right now is running around the garden. He is big, strong, tough. She is so small and frail. I can feel all her bones. Despite this she is sitting not wanting to go away I can feel it from her. To look at her now she is sitting there giving herself a clean. Outside she is so beautiful, but I know inside there is nothing we can do.
I had considered burying her in her favourite spot in the garden, but I wouldn’t want someone to come along and dig it up in the future so I will have her cremated and take her with me to see her new house and garden, pick a nice spot where she can see.
I have never had to do this before, it is in my nature to never stop trying no matter how hopeless but I know. I wouldn’t find anyone who would put her through the surgeries, which would be needed, it would be inhumane as she would suffer so much. I wouldn’t even go ahead with buying the house if I could save her, whatever the cost
You can pay off loans, earn more money but you can never pay off regret. You carry that debt for always. She’s hopping about right now. I am totally crushed. It feels like I am making a huge mistake, like I am giving up at the first sign instead of giving them the weekend, but am I prolonging things for her benefit – or my own selfish benefit. I think the latter.
She is lying down now and her little eyes are closing. She must be having a respite from the pain – or she isn’t suffering intolerably and I am going to end her life for nothing. I really don’t want her to go. I feel sick to the pit of my stomach. Today is a good day but what if tomorrow isn’t? Equally what if the next few days could be like today for her?
I feel like I am sitting on a timebomb that I could stop, but I know what I have to do – for her. This is so cruel I don’t know how anyone can do it. Today is a good day, which makes it so much harder. It sounds awful, but I had hoped she would go peacefully in the night. I don't want to take her life it's so heartbreaking
A few weeks ago she seemed to be a little out of sorts, but eating, enjoying treats. She then started laying at the bottom of her hutch (which is in the house in the conservatory not outside, I just don’t own this so I can’t let them run free as they enjoy chewing walls and furniture! They run about the garden during the day), she was still eating but I had to take the food to her – she wasn’t excited or grabbing at it as usual, but eating plenty.
Last Thursday evening she stopped eating. I contacted the vets and took her in immediately, suspecting stasis.
When they were checking her over they found a lump. She is so tiny and furry it’s hard to notice – they both don’t enjoy being handled , but even if so I doubt I would have noticed it, where it was located on her jaw. I was given antibiotics, pain meds and syringe feed and booked in for a scan on Monday.
The scan results were far worse than we had imagined. It seemed to have ballooned, and it showed an abscess (2 as we later found out), and her teeth were in a very bad way. There seems to be a root in the abscess, maybe a cracked tooth, misaligment. It was all so sudden.
They recommended euthanising, and I was in floods, I could barely think straight. It did not feel right, so I went back to discuss the xray and ask – so what can I do. It was beyond their skill to fix but I don’t care there must be someone. Don’t care about the cost.
She referred me to a specialist – I believe an exotic pet specialist – she got me in the day after – despite being on holiday she reviewed the scans they sent over and made time for me. I took her in, talked over the xray, and how a CT scan would be necessary. I got the quotes, and agreed to get the surgery done next week, I was aware of the after care, the potential lifetime of dental work and expense. Doesn’t matter all that matters is my little girl and that she can eat again on her own and have a good quality of life. She can enjoy more years. I even contacted my friend who voulnteers at an animal shelter and she would help me with the after care if I needed it, no question, the flushing, the meds, she was my hero
The vet called me after – sadly, the scan revealed multiple tumours all over her little body as well. Likely due to the fact she had not been neutered – her mate had been, but to my shame, at the time i needed to do it I went through some difficult personal times that I won’t go into detail about and it had fallen by the wayside. The last few years had been tough. I feel horribly ashamed that I didn’t work harder to find a way and make it my priority. I am just making excuses.
The cruellest part of all, is after so much hard work and sacrifice I have just bought a house, with a big back garden, for them. It made me so happy to think they were going to have all this amazing space, and they could live in the house again, and I could fling the doors open and let them play out all day while I sit and work. So excited to show them. And to add insult to injury I had planned her neutering in the next few weeks. If I had known the real risks of not getting it done sooner I would have moved mountains. Stupid, stupid, irresponsible. Careless. Crushing guilt I will always carry.
She seems to be bright. Far from her old self but loves a bit banana (the only thing she is able to eat on her own, and her favourite), is taking her meds well, seems to be well, taking her syringe feed well – like she is saying look dad, I can do it. I’m ok.
Sadly we don’t live in the cartoons and I know this isn’t reality. She has lost a lot of weight – down to 1.5kg at the first vet (she is a tiny rabbit even at the best of times, 2k at most I would say), and had went up to 1.52, but I know that the tumours are likely taking most of the food.
I asked the specialist, what if I keep going. Syringe feed, meds, will she have any quality of life? She said no.
I don’t want to find her lying at the bottom of the garden one day, scared, starving to death. Rabbits with tumours can starve. I want the last thing I can do for her because I love her, is to take all the pain away.
She just seems so – not ready to go. But one more day is one more day then one more day again. She is just lying under her favourite spot in the garden right now, but she is not as lively as she used to be. I am terrified I am jumping the gun, and she could enjoy a while longer. The specialist recommended putting her to sleep within 24 hours. I don’t want to keep going out of my own guilt but I was so close to giving her the beautiful home I have promised them for years.
They live in the conservatory here, in a gigantic hutch – far too big for them – but they play out in the garden every day. I feed them great fresh veggies, they always have hay, they have treats galore. I just want them to be safe from danger and happy. It has been commented on more than once that they eat better than most humans because I spoil my pets. Even my old hamster lived like a king, as it should be for our little family members.
The pain of tonight will be the pain next week, or in weeks, it won’t be any easier. But she seems – she wants to fight. Brave. She is so brave despite how much pain she must be in, and I know a lot of this will be down to the medication. I am scared for her mate and how he will be. Afraid for tomorrow morning when I wake up and she isn’t there.
Terrified I am being hasty. That she could go on a few more weeks. Her mate right now is running around the garden. He is big, strong, tough. She is so small and frail. I can feel all her bones. Despite this she is sitting not wanting to go away I can feel it from her. To look at her now she is sitting there giving herself a clean. Outside she is so beautiful, but I know inside there is nothing we can do.
I had considered burying her in her favourite spot in the garden, but I wouldn’t want someone to come along and dig it up in the future so I will have her cremated and take her with me to see her new house and garden, pick a nice spot where she can see.
I have never had to do this before, it is in my nature to never stop trying no matter how hopeless but I know. I wouldn’t find anyone who would put her through the surgeries, which would be needed, it would be inhumane as she would suffer so much. I wouldn’t even go ahead with buying the house if I could save her, whatever the cost
You can pay off loans, earn more money but you can never pay off regret. You carry that debt for always. She’s hopping about right now. I am totally crushed. It feels like I am making a huge mistake, like I am giving up at the first sign instead of giving them the weekend, but am I prolonging things for her benefit – or my own selfish benefit. I think the latter.
She is lying down now and her little eyes are closing. She must be having a respite from the pain – or she isn’t suffering intolerably and I am going to end her life for nothing. I really don’t want her to go. I feel sick to the pit of my stomach. Today is a good day but what if tomorrow isn’t? Equally what if the next few days could be like today for her?
I feel like I am sitting on a timebomb that I could stop, but I know what I have to do – for her. This is so cruel I don’t know how anyone can do it. Today is a good day, which makes it so much harder. It sounds awful, but I had hoped she would go peacefully in the night. I don't want to take her life it's so heartbreaking
I have someone coming to the house to do it, so she can be somewhere familiar and not be scared, the other bun will be able to spend a little time with her so he knows she is gone. She is beyond beautiful even now with her little swollen face 
