Does the deep heartache ever end

[Bunnymum4]

Its 3 weeks tomorrow since my teddy died at the vets screaming and terrified. My heart feels dead, the pain and sadness at what he suffered isn't easing,nor is my guilt. He was my world yet I have to carry on for my other bunnies. Life without him is too much most days. Iv had to start antidepressants. Does the pain ever go? I'm not sure how to carry on, I'm lost

 

[KarenM]

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling with the loss of Teddy. I wouldn't say the pain ever goes, but it gets a little easier to bear with time. It's still very early days, and your grief will still be so raw.

There are a few links in the sticky at the top of Rainbow Bridge that might be helpful to get you through this awful time, in particular the bereavement helpline run by the Blue Cross.

http://forums.rabbitrehome.org.uk/showthread.php?54567-Welcome-to-Rainbow-Bridge

 

[Pets mum]

I'm really sorry that you are struggling so much, you cannot put a time limit on grief, it's different for everyone. I do agree that talking to someone on a bereavement line could help. Keep posting on here too if it helps.

 

[bunny momma]

You did everything you could to save your boy. It is important that you accept that you did nothing wrong and were not the cause of the turbulent final minutes of his life.
I hope in time your pleasant memories of Teddy can outweigh those final moments.
Sending lots of hugs.

 

[Bunnymum4]

Peoples kindness on here is immense. Thank you for your kind words that I don't get anywhere else x

 

[joey&boo]

As Petsmum says everyone is different. I process bunny grief very differently with each bunny I've lost. I think my heartache does have an end point - the debilitating, overwhelming bit has for me anyway. How my bunny lived & how my bunny died really affects things for me too. So the buns who had long lives with me, reached old age & I know I genuinely did my best for are easier. Last year I lost 2 buns but they were 10 & 11, they passed peacefully (PTS) & we had a really good life together. I still miss my Joey & Mousey like crazy, cry for them from time to time but most of my talk & feelings are around happy memories. Back in 2019 I adopted privately (through RU but not a rescue) a little black bunny of about 4-5 years. He was always unhealthy, got diagnosed with renal failure not long after I got him, I failed to bond him into a quad with my existing trio (I split the group so he wasn't alone & paired him up with Mousey but that meant he was still alone for 2 months). I really tried my best with him, got in to all sorts of debt as refused to work (he needed so many syringe feeds & bum cleans through the day & night for about a year). When I had him PTS I grieved heavily for at least a year. I'd sob daily. He still hurts because I feel sad I he had the illness he did & his QofL wasn't great cos of it.

I do hope it gets easier for you

 

[Bunnymum4]

I think your right. He suffered so so much at the end and his death will haunt me forever. I wanted a peaceful end which is why I took him to the vet, I thought maybe it was time. But the horror that unravelled there is too horrific and he died screaming not in my arms. That will haunt me forever.if I hadn't taken him he wouldn't have died that horrifically after all the weeks I spent syringe feeding him too. Like you I spent every last penny on vets fees and id do it again but even the vet let me down so ik scared for the future health of the 3 I have. I trust no vet after the various incidents with poor teddy. I think if his death has been peaceful I wouldn't be as absolutely shattered as I am. Haunted every day in my own head. I know no deaths are happy but certainly teddys was not the peaceful passing that kind gentlebun was worthy of xx

 

[LilyBarney]

When I lost my first rabbit Dermot after only 2 weeks I was crippled with guilt at the "what ifs". What had I done wrong? Was it my fault? His passing also wasn't peaceful and it still lives with me 8 years later.
But it does become easier, you will focus on your happy times together. You will.
Because you did nothing wrong, from what you've said you always had your Teddy's best interests at heart. He couldn't ask for anymore.
His passing sounds traumatic but it was brief, he couldn't suffer anymore.
I visited my sick boy in the vet yesterday and have been upset ever since but if the worst happens it'll be the happy memories that will be the strongest. And they will be for you too.
Grief is the terrible price of loving something, it's the worst. But the love is better, stronger. Pour that love into your other buns.
Look after yourself.

 

[Barn Yard Bunnies]

Big big hugs, it does get better. X

 

[Sky-O]

I’m so sorry to hear you lost a loved one in such a traumatic way.

Three weeks is no time at all. This is such early days for you, so all you can do at the moment is be kind to yourself and just focus on getting through.

There’s an image I want to share about grief, but can’t find it. This is a link to a post and actually the whole page is a lovely page about grief. https://m.facebook.com/story.php?st...UysyaF4iikNxfCPWYphwETXSpl&id=100070550979540 Basically, right now, your grief is raw and fresh and all consuming. Very gradually, over time, you will grow around your grief. It will still be present and sometimes it might be really present, but it won’t consume you so fully. And that process will continue. So it won’t always feel like this.

For now though, one moment at a time.

 

[Bunnymum4]

When I lost my first rabbit Dermot after only 2 weeks I was crippled with guilt at the "what ifs". What had I done wrong? Was it my fault? His passing also wasn't peaceful and it still lives with me 8 years later.
But it does become easier, you will focus on your happy times together. You will.
Because you did nothing wrong, from what you've said you always had your Teddy's best interests at heart. He couldn't ask for anymore.
His passing sounds traumatic but it was brief, he couldn't suffer anymore.
I visited my sick boy in the vet yesterday and have been upset ever since but if the worst happens it'll be the happy memories that will be the strongest. And they will be for you too.
Grief is the terrible price of loving something, it's the worst. But the love is better, stronger. Pour that love into your other buns.
Look after yourself.

I’m sorry to hear your bunny is poorly. I pray they will be ok. Thank you for your kind words, people on here have been a life line in this horrendous time. I am for sure pouring every ounce of my love into my other buns but I’m Trying to bond them and it’s very traumatic I feel exhausted and hopeless, my hearts aching for my teddy iv had to start antidepressants. Thank you for caring and I hope your bun is ok x

 

[Bunnymum4]

Big big hugs, it does get better. X

Thank you so much for your kind words x

 

[Bunnymum4]

I’m so sorry to hear you lost a loved one in such a traumatic way.

Three weeks is no time at all. This is such early days for you, so all you can do at the moment is be kind to yourself and just focus on getting through.

There’s an image I want to share about grief, but can’t find it. This is a link to a post and actually the whole page is a lovely page about grief. https://m.facebook.com/story.php?st...UysyaF4iikNxfCPWYphwETXSpl&id=100070550979540 Basically, right now, your grief is raw and fresh and all consuming. Very gradually, over time, you will grow around your grief. It will still be present and sometimes it might be really present, but it won’t consume you so fully. And that process will continue. So it won’t always feel like this.

For now though, one moment at a time.

Thank you so much I will take a look at the link. Grief is exhausting and all incant is to rewind time. Your kind words mean more than you know x

 

[Babsie]

Thank you so much I will take a look at the link. Grief is exhausting and all incant is to rewind time. Your kind words mean more than you know x

I have just taken a look at the link and, yes, I think you may find it helpful. Sending hugs - it is such a horrendous time for you.

 

[Bunnymum4]

Thank you xx