Butterfly- June 2010 - 19th January 2016

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Sky-O

Wise Old Thumper
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Hi Fly, my Rumble-y, Tumble-y Bunny.

I’m so, so sorry that it’s taken me so long to do this. I’m so sorry. It’s not that I don’t care. Believe me. I care so much I just can’t deal with it. But I have to do this, for you.

I remember first seeing you at the RSPCA, shortly before my first break. You guys were a bunch of fluff balls.



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I met 7 of you initially (in July 2010), but then you lost Wingnut, so I then met all six of you boys. You used to be called Chestnut, which totally never suited you.

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You were incredibly skinny, and really just a head.

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You weren’t thriving, along with ‘Walnut’ and ‘Cashew’ (who eventually became Hay Monster and Little). Originally Walnut and Cashew were due to go to Liz, at Rainbow Rabbits, but then the RSPCA separated the three of you to help all three of you thrive. It didn’t work and it wasn’t long before you all came to me. You came here on the 25th November 2010. Thankfully, it didn’t take long before you did start to thrive.










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You moved inside and, once you started thriving and developing, all your hormones came, you were neutered and you all fell out shortly after. You were 5 months old at this point, and had only been with me two weeks. We were in dire straits, really, with three extra rabbits, all divorced, and nowhere to put you all. It took time to put you in housing that was more appropriate.

You eventually lived in my room, and the living room, at different times. You were still a foster, and so I couldn’t bond you with anyone, but you loved being around people and being inside. You grew the most glorious mane, and always looked surprised, at everything, and you also had a gorgeous side sweeping fringe. You would then toss your head when it got in your way. Made me laugh.

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You became more and more confident and comfortable. Nothing like the scurrying big headed bunny you were when we first met. You did still stamp at, and refute the cat, but you were happy and confident.

We tried you outside, but then, within a week, you’d gone sad and needed your first dental. That taught us a lesson- you needed to be inside.

About a year went past and it was clear you needed a friend. Initially, I tried you with Snowy. You guys got on well, but she kept almost throwing you against the wall, demanding a groom. She was relentless. So we decided, despite the cuteness factor, it wasn’t fair on you.






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I love this photo and I love your optimism.


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About a month later I took you down the RSPCA to choose who you wanted. Whoever that was, would come to me, as a foster, and you would, eventually, be adopted out together. Crystal, therefore, was the bunny you chose, and she totally came by accident. She is the only one who came with no special needs. But, on the 5th March 2012, she came home and we started bonding. I think, actually, you’re the last rabbits I’ve bonded.


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You guys bonded so quickly, with very quick grooming and snuggling and you guys were just the cutest pair. You both had a sporadic loppy ear, you were both a similar size, you were both mooshy and just gorgeous. You brought her out of her shell and taught her a whole world of cheekiness! Thanks!




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Then you guys lived in my room together- which was a horrendous time. You guys made the other guys fight, you all lost your toilet habits. God it was awful. So, as soon as it was warmer, you went out. You lived outside and it was so much better for you and for the others. You were happy outside with her, and loved the grass, the sun, the air and just loved life.

Through all this you continued to be a dental bunny, but when you bonded with Crystal, your dentals were far further apart than before. You were just so happy.

Then all hell broke loose at the RSPCA and I had to leave, which meant I could either return you both to the Centre (where they would PTS you both for being dental) or you could stay. That was an easy choice. You both stayed and you officially became mine on 2nd August 2012.
 
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That was a privilege and I was so glad you came (which was an accident, because you weren’t supposed to- I was only supposed to have Hay Monster and Little) and also so glad that Crystal also came by accident.

Since then, you guys have lived here happily. She has been ill, but you’ve both stayed happy and lively and so loved up. You were JUST the cutest couple. Pictures speak more than words, at this point.



















And then, somehow, I managed to stuff up your vaccination, leaving you unvaccinated.

On 15th January, I noticed that you had gunky eyes, so we went to the vets. We discussed myxo, and they identified my error, but there were no other signs, so we treated you with conjunctivitis and vaccinated you. You didn’t improve with your overall liveliness, and your appetite dropped, although your eyes did improve, so I increased your pain relief, and you were comfortable, but you were deteriorating, so I booked another vets appointment. When I came back from work that day, you were constantly chewing and just covered in saliva (and so was Crystal). I didn’t know what was wrong, or what had happened. I feared the worst and wanted to see how bright you were, so I popped you guys on the grass and you ate a bit and were still bright.

At the vets he found that your genitals were swollen a tiny bit and your eyes were also more swollen, and, worse than that, your tongue was all ulcerated and necrotic. At the time he said that it was likely to be a virus, secondary to what was probably myxo. Now I don’t know. What if the more swollen eyes and the slightly swollen genitals were a byproduct of the vaccine and you didn’t have myxo. Maybe the tongue and the chewing was something neurological- with the ulcers being caused by chewing. Worse, what if it was the micro-dental abscesses causing the chewing and they were treatable! What if you got the myxo because you had lice that I was due to treat. Either way, whatever way we look at it, I killed you. That, I do know.

But all of that is just lots of unanswered questions and what ifs but I’m not sure I made the right choice! I can’t change it though! You’re still gone. I’m still heartbroken. Crystal is still alone. You’re still gone.

When you were PTS you were up on my shoulder and you didn't move. I've held so many rabbits and they have al gone limp. You turned around to me in panic, when the needle went in, and then you never moved. I really thought the injection hadn't worked and that, when I put you down, you would be standing up and that would be a sign you needed to live.

You were such a happy bunny, and you’ve given me some of my favourite memories. I’ve never had a rabbit binky for water before! What was that all about? When you laid on all the snugglesafes with some kind of stretchy talent! You and your princess fringe and princess ways. The ridiculous enthusiasm of your banana hips (which was, of course, your favourite food).




I’ve never seen a rabbit binky like you and Crystal did when you were out. You were a dope when we called your name and you didn’t come running, you stayed, all excited, bouncing about in the hutch. You had a very loud stamp when you were unimpressed. You were the cleanest bunny ever, despite all the fur. You were the boss of her, yet she was the one who stole your food, and you always seemed too dopey to realise. Aw. And, of course, DBFs were a real ‘thing’ that you did!











You were supposed to be my healing bunny- the bunny that was here, when all the others had gone, and then, because I’m so useless, I let you down, and then I killed you. I am so, so sorry, and I so wish I could change it, but I can’t.

I so miss you in the mornings, yours and Crystal’s mooshy faces waiting just for me.

I can’t deal with it. I caused this. I caused your death, her grief (not that she’s showing it) and my deep pain (not that I deserve it, of course, I caused it). I swore, after Badger, I would never let another rabbit down again. I’m so sorry I did. I’m so sorry it was you.

I wish you could know how loved you were, and just how deeply sorry I am.

I love you FlysieFly.

And I’m so very deeply sorry.

Lots of love. Xx
 
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I don't know why the photos are so big. Photobucket says they aren't, so there isn't much I can do.
 
A beautiful tribute to the very beautiful Butterfly. I know we blame ourselves but you loved Butterfly, you didn't let him down. I hope time heals your pain. Xxx
 
Barn Yard Bunnies said:
A beautiful tribute to the very beautiful Butterfly. I know we blame ourselves but you loved Butterfly, you didn't let him down. I hope time heals your pain. Xxx
Click to expand...

You definitely didn't, but I acknowledge that you feel you did. We can all only feel as we feel. Many times I wish there were a choice as to how to feel............

RIP Butterfly xx
 
That is such a beautiful tribute to a wonderful bunny :love:

Goodnight beautiful Butterfly, sleep well xx
 
Beautiful tribute :love: please don't blame yourself, you didn't let him down

Binky free Butterfly xx
 
Sky-O you are NOT useless! Nobody can be perfect all of the time. Be kind to yourself. RIP beautiful Butterfly x
 
I'm so, so sorry :cry: Please don't beat yourself up xxx we know how much your bunnies mean to you, and so do they. Butterfly knew you loved him. Binky free beautiful boy xxx
Gorgeous pics xxx
 
Beautiful tribute. RIP Butterfly.
If you saw this thread written by someone else, would you blame them?
Please look after yourself. You are far from useless.
xxx
 
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