Thanks for your support everyone.
Took her in to see Molly today. Nena's dribbly eyes has caused a sore patch under one eye which has only come on in the last 3 days. She also has a dribbly nose so has a little bald patch. She's had both eyes trimmed underneath and the skin looks pretty okay. Little bit sore in one place but Molly just recommended a little bit of vaseline now and then as a barrier. Molly prescribed Nena some antibiotics (ronaxan) for 10 days for her dribbly eyes and nose, and some bisolvon. The liquid coming out is a bit thicker than before so was crusting up the fur (it was significantly crusty today but has been okay until now!) but she had a good look and doesn't suspect abscesses there. I'm to check back in with Molly this time next week to see if we need to continue the antibiotics longer than the 10 day course, and take it from there really.
Molly doesn't feel that Nena is in any real pain, just discomfort, and that metacam (1ml 2 x a day for a 2.4kg bunny) will be sufficient to keep her happy. Nena was doing binkies yesterday and still has a full appetite. I've been giving her a bit extra food and she has remained 2.4kg so she is clearly not suffering at the moment.
The lump is suspected to be ear related, not jaw. Molly is not a fan of opening up any abscesses to drain them as it's generally not effective and can cause other issues. I agree with that. I explained to her regarding my hesitation to put her through surgery and she agreed to be led by me. Surgery would be required for this (i.e. there's no other appropriate treatment). We discussed doing a CT scan at some point to establish how bad the ears are, which if nothing else will help us make a decision about quality of life. They hope to have a CT scanner there by the end of the summer.
I guess it's just a case of wait and see, and try to judge when she goes downhill a bit.
The appointment went well, better than I thought, but I'm just quite deflated and sad.
I contacted Windwhistle Warren on Friday to start the home checking process just so that I know I'm working towards it, as I am so concerned about leaving Tapla alone. I can deal with losing Nena... it will suck, but I'll manage the same as I've managed with other pets... but I can't deal with Tapla losing Nena. Based on my email including details of my vet, pics of their accommodation, and my experience/qualifications (I have an HND in Animal Management and a BSc in Animal Biology) they don't need to home-check me so that's good, so I'm in a position to get a boy fairly quickly when we know more about Nena.
This is all feeling very real now.