Hey boy,
Two years. Who would have believed I would have managed two years without you. This year hurts more than last because of the crushing pointlessness of everything because you're still gone, you're always going to be gone and the only way to fix it is for me to find you. But then, you left me the same way everyone else does, so would you actually want to see me again. I don't know anymore.
But I do still know you were my rock and my world and I'm never going to have someone in that way again.
I lost so much when I lost you. I just hope this separation has worked for you and that, wherever you are, you're happy.
Please know how deeply your love and safety went for me. It's such a huge thing to allow someone to feel safe (someone who has never felt safe before), to connect deeply that that person securely knows that someone is there, to actually believe that someone actually wants her around. You gave me things I've never had. My heart still breaks for you but do know how much you gave me. I hope I gave you the same things back.
I love you Matey Manny Moo. I always will. Xx