Pip is gone...my fault

[Omi]

Sending loads of hugs. It's a horrible situation to be in and I know I would be feeling the same as you. There are not many of us who haven't had accidents or near accidents happen, with something we have done or not done, either with our animals or our children, but that is unlikely to soften your thoughts very much at the moment. However, I hope in time that it will.

You and your daughter will be in my thoughts. I am so very sorry.

 

[SarahP]

You poor thing. I'm so sorry you've lost Pip. But honestly, it sounds as though she was very sick anyway. I really don't believe that you killed her, although I can understand you feeling that way.

Thinking of you xxx

 

[daphnephoebe]

Oh MM... I know how terrible you're feeling, but please believe me when I say it's not your fault. You didn't mean her any harm.

You're constantly replaying it thinking what if? Thinking I should have done this instead. It's difficult and it will take you a long time to forgive yourself for any part you may have played.

Pip knows you were trying to help. Pip knows you didn't mean her any harm at all. Pip still loves you and will be thanking you as she crosses that bridge for being such a kind, and loving care giver.

I would let them see her, but only if you're strong enough for that. If you don't feel strong enough, they'll understand.

I'm sending you lots of hugs and lots of comforting vibes. If you need to talk in private, please feel free to PM me. I know how you're feeling right now xx

Sent from my SM-G903F using Tapatalk

 

[happybun]

I'm sorry.
Sending gentle hugs.
xxx

 

[Kara]

I'm so sorry.

Sending lots of love xxx

 

[Jack's-Jane]

Thank you Jane. I know, I have had more than a few people tell me already over here that it wasn't my fault but as you know, that is hollow succor.
I have been told to place her in a bag and put her in the freezer till I can take her down for the pickup to the crem, which unfortunately I will miss today. She would be there a week but I can't keep her here.

I am sorry about your little bunny too, Jane. I have seen you retell this story before. Plus I remember other members who do not post here anymore talking about when they feel they have done something to harm their rabbits. But I know that I am supposed to be careful when going about syringe feeding. My confidence is the least important here but rest assured it has taken a beating and I don't know that there is anything I feel I can do about anything at this point. With everything that has gone wrong in my life in the last year or more, this was just one more thing I didn't need coming. I expected maybe Mimzy (in fact if he continues as he is, he may join Pip soon as well) or even Fiver, but not Pip. I thought I'd be taking her back to Alaska with me and Jenna should I decide to return there. Griff is not long for this world either. It's all coming down.

C is completely lost right now. I wouldn't blame her for feeling like I am a pariah. I know I do.

I need to go and take care of Pip right now. Should I let Mimz and Fiver see her? Would it distress them? They weren't technically bonded but they lived near each other. She died right next to them. Should they view her body for a bit? (I'm afraid changes are already taking place. )

I don't know how to get through this day. Not like I have a choice.

By going onto autopilot. By breathing. By posting on here as much as you need to whenever you need to XX

 

[MightyMax]

Thank you Jane. I know, I have had more than a few people tell me already over here that it wasn't my fault but as you know, that is hollow succor.
I have been told to place her in a bag and put her in the freezer till I can take her down for the pickup to the crem, which unfortunately I will miss today. She would be there a week but I can't keep her here.

I am sorry about your little bunny too, Jane. I have seen you retell this story before. Plus I remember other members who do not post here anymore talking about when they feel they have done something to harm their rabbits. But I know that I am supposed to be careful when going about syringe feeding. My confidence is the least important here but rest assured it has taken a beating and I don't know that there is anything I feel I can do about anything at this point. With everything that has gone wrong in my life in the last year or more, this was just one more thing I didn't need coming. I expected maybe Mimzy (in fact if he continues as he is, he may join Pip soon as well) or even Fiver, but not Pip. I thought I'd be taking her back to Alaska with me and Jenna should I decide to return there. Griff is not long for this world either. It's all coming down.

C is completely lost right now. I wouldn't blame her for feeling like I am a pariah. I know I do.

I need to go and take care of Pip right now. Should I let Mimz and Fiver see her? Would it distress them? They weren't technically bonded but they lived near each other. She died right next to them. Should they view her body for a bit? (I'm afraid changes are already taking place. )

I don't know how to get through this day. Not like I have a choice.

In my view yes, I should let them see Pip. Do what you feel is best ..

No one blames you but I know you heavily blame yourself. I can't see you did anything but care for Pip, and you and your daughter are in my thoughts.

Love and hugs to you xx

 

[MimzMum]

Thank you so much everyone. It really does mean a lot to know there are so many who care.
I did try to allow Mimz and Fiver to see her. Fiver went into her litter tray and started munching her hay. Mimzy is blind and deaf, so only came over to see if he could hump Fiver. :roll: There was a bit of thumping from Fiver but he didn't try to go to Pip. I've put her into a storage area and I think the boys will just have to comfort one another in their own way. They do not seem interested, but I didn't allow them about for long. I simply can't cope with it all.

It will be about a week before she's even sent off to the crem now. The people who come for them will have already been by the time I can muster the strength to get behind the wheel. If I can store her safely (I have my doubts) then maybe I will take her tomorrow. My poor daughter wanted to be able to go with her if it was local, but she doesn't want to leave her dog for that long and the dog can't ride with us, she gets carsick.

Honestly, with how shaky I am it might be best to take a bit of time. If I could keep Pip safe till next Tuesday, one of their staff could take her down for me, but really, I need to do this. I owe her.

She had struck me as a little lower in weight lately, but I wrote it off as we didn't have the best hay. Plus I hadn't gotten her her favorite cookies lately either. Poor Pip. No more oat cakes. I should've gotten her some for Christmas. I didn't have enough money.
I am worried about the other two now. If she did have pneumonia, and I didn't see it, perhaps they are ill too?

Jesus, it's just too much to take in. I'm mostly concerned with my daughter. She is having a very hard time already and this didn't help. She may not have taken much of an active role in Pip's life, but I know she loved her dearly. This is so unfair for her at this time in particular.

I don't know what to do anymore. I feel completely impotent.

 

[tlcwrites]

Oh, MM, I'm so sorry you lost Pip. It's all too easy to say, but it's not your fault. You were trying your best to help a poorly rabbit. The fact that you took action to try and help her survive says so much more than floundering with inaction. There will always be the 'what ifs' but you are a devoted caregiver to your fluffs and you should never lose sight of that. Please try and be gentle to yourself. I'll keep you in my thoughts. xxx

 

[MimzMum]

Thank you, tlc.
Still in shock. Just can't get my head around it. I've always loved what a diva Pip was. She's always been the strong one. She's gotten through so much of her own ill times; seizures, stasis, torn nails, bladder issues...always with an air of, "You just can't get the staff..."

My poor beauty. My love. Sweet baby. I am so sorry. I'll never stop being sorry.

 

[Horace the Bold]

I'm very sorry you have lost Pip
I think a lot of us on here blame ourselves for the death of a favourite bunny, please remember you were doing your up most to help a rabbit in stasis, we all would have done the same in your situation
Please be kind to yourself

 

[Jack's-Jane]

Thank you, tlc.
Still in shock. Just can't get my head around it. I've always loved what a diva Pip was. She's always been the strong one. She's gotten through so much of her own ill times; seizures, stasis, torn nails, bladder issues...always with an air of, "You just can't get the staff..."

My poor beauty. My love. Sweet baby. I am so sorry. I'll never stop being sorry.

Of course you wont. Because you are a kind, generous and caring person. Life can be so cruel at times, placing seemingly intolerable situations into the lives of those who do not deserve it.

Please pass on my love to C and let her know that I will be thinking of her as I will be of you. I know it's not much and I doubt it will go very far in helping to ease your despair

((((((((((((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) xx

 

[MimzMum]

Of course you wont. Because you are a kind, generous and caring person. Life can be so cruel at times, placing seemingly intolerable situations into the lives of those who do not deserve it.

Please pass on my love to C and let her know that I will be thinking of her as I will be of you. I know it's not much and I doubt it will go very far in helping to ease your despair

((((((((((((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) xx

It will go very far indeed, Jane. I can assure you of that. C holds you in highest regard. Your thoughts and kindnesses mean the world to her.

I have to pull myself together somehow. I've got to get this done today. It's the added worry of the unwanted guest in our attic that concerns me too. The area Pip is in is not anywhere near secure enough for that.

I am actually surprised that the collection folks are coming today. We've just had major snowstorms in the area where they are and they must drive a long way to get here. Taking an awful chance, even if it is for your business. :shock:

I wish I could eat something, but my stomach is in knots. I'm so tired too, not much sleep last night. If I could find something more dependable to put her in, I'd just wait till tomorrow, but I have nothing here. She is too large for the freezer and honestly, I couldn't bear her being in there.
Terrible question but, as long as it is cold here and she is kept with ice, how long can I reasonably wait to take her away?
Oh gosh, and we've got another rainstorm coming tomorrow. Rain for at least a week. I really need to do this today but I don't know how I can.

 

[ripminnie]

Oh MM, I'm so so sorry to see this, I haven't been on the forum today of course you are distraught, anyone would be, but you were just trying to help her get better I'm so so sorry. Sending massive hugs to you xxxxx

 

[olices]

I am so sorry you're having such an awful time. Pip sounded a very special bunny and she was a lucky bunny to have you and you did all you could for Pip to get well again, it may be easy for me to say this but don't blame yourself. Take care and sending lots of hugs, rip Pip xxx

 

[Liz47]

I'm so sorry you have lost Pip. Thinking of you and sending gentle hugs, run free at the bridge lovely Pip xx

 

[bunslave]

(((((hugs))))) MM xxx I'm so sorry

 

[newbabybuns]

MM I am so sorry you lost Pip under tragic circumstances if that was what was happened, then it was an accident, maybe her body was just about to give up and wasn't functioning properly and you would not even have known. Please be kind to yourself. I know just how much you go above and beyond for your pets and you are having more than your fair share of worry with them recently lots of love to you and you family. Sweet dreams Pip xxxx

 

[yaretzi]

I'm so sorry to read this It is always a massive fear of mine when syringing meds or recovery food and I know I would be just as upset as you if it ever happened to me. However on the outside looking in I can only say what you'd say to anyone else in this position... that it wasn't your fault, it was accidental and you should not blame yourself. You have given meds and syringe food so many times, even the most highly trained and experienced vet is likely to have had this happen by this point.

I am so sorry to hear she has gone Try not to make yourself hurt anymore than you already are by blaming yourself too much. It is a hard enough time already, let alone with everything else that has happened recently too.

 

[Vanessa.B]

Oh MM - I wish I could say something to help. I know how hard it is to lose our precious fur friends and also how easy it is to feel we have not done enough or have done wrong. Even though I lost Herbie, Spring, BJ and most recently Rosie at the vets, I still apologise to them for letting them down, or at least believing I let them down.

I am thinking of you and wrapping you in hugs xx