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I am not bonding with adoptepd rabbit

When I bonding my two rabbits Merida my doe was definitely dominant and quickly established that. Merlin was happy to be ruled and they bonded very easily that was in September but it took a long while for Merida to groom Merlin she is also a thumper but I love her feistyness. She was a very nervy rabbit when we got her and it took about six months to win her trust and bond with her.
I can understand your disappointment that she was not the bunny you chose but at the same time you need to work out if you can overcome that because at the moment it really does sound like it is clouding your judgement over this rabbit. If you put in the time and effort you will get a lovely bond with this rabbit but only you can do this. A point worth remembering is she is adjusting to you, your family, your rabbit and your set up such a lot in a small space of time. Good luck with whatever you decide.
 
I have never had these problems with rabbits; I've had three singles, Baby, whom was a little terror full of fire and life and biting me, certainly not the nicest bunny there ever was, Pipkin, whom was sweet and friendly and playful with me for half his life, then completely in love, petted and snuggled with me always, and now Amy, whom is the fastest I've ever clicked with anyone, animal or human, insanely sweet and affectionate, and after nine days felt like I'd had her nine years.

But last June I got a chinchilla, Kurt. I had wanted a chinchilla for about four years by then, but had not been able to get one until that time. I spent months researching and preparing that first time, refreshed my knowledge intensely and got him when I could. I knew what I was getting in to, that he would probably never be cuddly and sit still, that he was very different than a rabbit and that we would take time to bond. I knew what to expect.

At least, I thought it did. About a few weeks into having him, he started biting me when I had him out. I never grabbed him to take him out, used the sand bath to transport him to the huge playpen I lie in to bond and play with him. He has bitten me on my eyelid, eyebrow, nose, ear, shoulder, wrist, hip, hand and foot. For no reason; I'm just lying there, watching him or reading something when he just decides to bite me. If he isn't trying to hump my arm or leg, which he also bites during. He's also very destructive and incredibly skittish. He's a little :censored:, really.

I have been tempted, many times over these past nine months, to rehome him, to give him up. He drives me mad, truly, is not easy at all to get along with. But despite his attitude, he can be sweet in his own way, and I love him too much to not at least stick it out a while if he's going to live nearly twenty years. But even if we never bond, I'll just do my level best to make him happy; I'll probably end up getting him neutered and finding a little wifey chin, if I have to (and he if he wants one).

So I really hope you end with a solution that works out for the best for all of you, especially the rabbits. That rescue doesn't sound like a very good one though, to be honest.
 
I signed a contract that I would do the bonding process according to the "rules", and that if she comes back with a bite, scratch or hair missing from letting them work things out, I am fined $250, and they can call animal security to take my rabbit away.

Is this true?? They'd take your bunny away if he did something as little as scratch the other one when they're working it out??
 
I did once have a rabbit that I didn't really "like" to start with. I got him from a rescue for my older single girl. He kept trying to jump on her and she used to get really fed up and run away. I was quite upset for her, as I thought we'd maybe done wrong by getting her a younger companion. Then I got him neutered and after a while it died down, and they became really good friends, in fact it was a really happy partnership they used to snuggle and play and run together. I grew to adore him as well. He ended up being so good for her, as she had lost her partner and had been really down. He gave her a new lease of life, and I ended up loving him just as much. He passed away about a year and a half ago, and I was devastated.

sorry its a bit rambling but I guess I'm saying that sometimes the most unpromising start can work out brilliantly, like it did with Oliver. Whatever happens, hope you find a solution that you're happy with
 
Having read your recent posts, I would advise you to take her back to the rescue. The poor bun needs a home where she will be loved for who she is, even if she doesn't have a 'use' for her owner. :(

Rabbits don't hold themselves a certain way, or have the capacity to be 'benevolent'. They are rabbits, not people.

I'm not being naive here; I have a rabbit, Nahla, who hates all other bunnies and is terrified of people too. I've often wondered if she'd be happier as a single indoor bunny where she could learn that people are okay... But she would be MY single indoor bunny. I can't imagine rehoming her purely because we don't have the bond that I originally wanted. Anyway I'll bow out now as like many others, I just don't understand :lol:
 
When we got r&T we took a little while to really get to know tia.... my husband said on more than one occasion that he didn't like her - we both instantly loved rupert, tia was the female left. Never ever not once did it cross my mind to take her back tho I'd never be able to do that we are her forever home and that's that. But it didn't take long for us both to fall completely in love with her. Now I feel so bad that he ever said that, she's such a daddy's girl.
What is it about her you don't like?? If she's bonding with your male then I think you need to get over it ( I'm trying to put that nicely but it's early and my brain not working yet).
The rescue probably did try to persuade you into her, but for a reason.... I don't want to sound harsh but if you weren't sure, you still didn't have to say yes to her. The rescue we got r&t from wanted us to have a bonded pair but I wanted rupert... so I stuck 'll to my guns and got him.
It's not the rabbits fault that you took her, I think you should give her a chance.
Like some of the others said, I'd only ever give a rabbit (or any pet) up if they were fighting and I really really couldn't have separate pairs.

Eta.. if she's skittish and shy, just give her a chance.. most rabbits are, but give her a a chance you don't k ow what has happened to her in her past. You need to earn her trust. Give her a chance
 
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I cannot imagine ever returning a rescue rabbit - or any animal for that matter - because I felt he or she did not fit in with my expectations.

I would consider it my responsibility to get to know the pet, offer good care and love and accept that bonding with a new pet doesn't always happen overnight and sometimes requires a little patience.
 
I'm finding myself conflicted about this situation. Because on the one hand I sympathise with the OP about the attitude she experienced at the rescue. I also would not take kindly to being told which rabbit I should choose. I would want to feel some kind of connection to the bunny that I chose. And I don't think I could ever do what some others have done and just send their bunnies to be bonded with no say at all in which bunny came home with them.

On the other hand I think the OP made a mistake in being pressured into taking the bunny if she didn't want her, and I think her mind is already made up on this and as such she should probably return the bunny. But I have to say I don't really understand what the problem with this bunny is. She's not aggressive and sounds like quite a normal bunny. I also don't think you can really get to know a bunny in such a short time. It took Levi a month to lick me for the first time and now he never stops. He is obviously a licky bun but I could never have known that after just a week. Please try to remember that your bunny is taking time to get to know you too. Levi and Daisy are both very different but I love them equally. :)
 
I suggest you get a dog.

Maybe this animal will be of 'use' to you.

You made the mistake of backing down and you should really live with the consequences.

There is nothing wrong with the rabbit, you are the issue here.

You mention personality, rabbits do have this, yes. However, you are seemingly wanting a soul bunny in the same way that your current bunny is.

If you are wanting a copy and paste of your current rabbit in personality, connection, behavior then I would give up now and stop giving hope to a bun that will never be appreciated or of any "use".

Please take the rabbit back, clearly you are the wrong bunny mummy for her and she should go somewhere that she is loved and appreciated, without the risk of being "no use" to her adoption family.
 
i don't think you are even giving her a chance. i would normally say that if she bonds well with your rabbit then i would put his needs first... but part of me just thinks you should take her back as you aren't even willing to try and saying she has no use to you is just so sad. she should be loved and cherished.

in my opinion, you don't deserve her. she isn't the problem here.
 
Linette said:
The bunnies are having THEIR issues to work out, but I think a big issues is that my boyfriend and I are not bonding with the rabbit. We were not allowed to hold her or spend time with her at the rescue center. They sort of foisted her on us because she is a large breed and they are harder to adopt out and we have a large breed male.

We don't feel comfortable with her, or care for her personality. I feel rather childish but at the same time we didn't choose her, and if she is going to be a family member for at least ten years, it seems as if we should love her. I've had many many rabbits over the course of 4 decades and I do understand personalities etc.

I adopted my male because after interacting with him we both liked one another and I liked his personality. I just don't feel like this doe is ever going to fit in with our family.

We plan to take her back this weekend.

Any thoughts on this? Anyone else have this situation come up where the adopted rabbit was a bad fit with the family?
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Yes, I have been there, in the exact same situation, although I didn't give Lewis back. Lewis still isn't my favourite bunny, and never will be. But Ailsa (his lady friend) loves him and THAT is what matters. Lewis doesn't like me, and I don't like Lewis much, but he has a better home with me than he did at the rescue and is bonded with Ailsa. It would have been selfish of me to give him back when she was happy.

How long have you had the bunny? Can you not give it some more time? Is your male bonded with her?
 
Personally, I think you should return this rabbit and look elsewhere. The way that the rescue has gone about this is totally wrong - you need to be able to start up a flicker of a bond and feel good about your decision before you bring the rabbit home. You need to be excited about the rabbit that you're getting! Then, even if it does take a while to bond with the rabbit, it doesn't matter because it was your decision to take her and you'll likely feel confident in that choice. Even if you waver in your confidence, you'll probably feel like you chose her and you'll persevere. You were given a rabbit that you hadn't even met, whilst being denied a rabbit that you had a connection with - I can totally see why you'd be finding it hard to bond. You probably will, in time. I think the rescue in question is doing rabbits such a disservice by not letting the potential owner meet their rabbit and form a bond. Then what? Some rabbits will no doubt be shoved at the end of the garden and forgotten. The rescue needs to be forging bonds between animal and owner in order to prevent neglect/cruelty - not just handing rabbits out like they're all the same with no personality differences. :roll:

I also understand where you're coming from on the bonding front. The contract with the clause that they might take your rabbit away if they get slightly injured will obviously breed animosity in you towards the new bunny, especially if she's the one being flighty and she's the one that's likely to nip/scratch. Will the rescue not bond for you?

The OP is clearly a good rabbit owner. She's provided homes to many rabbits over the years, with many having what sounds like amazing outdoor enclosures and with many having free range and being integrated totally into the household.

I totally understand the 'don't give up on the rabbit' approach, and I personally find it difficult to understand that a rabbits personality might not be right. But we have to understand that the OP has her rabbits free range all the time. The rabbits are not taking up a 'rabbit' role - they're more like a dog... and people are very particular about what type of personality they want in a dog. It must be very frustrating to be in OP's position with the rescue and the bonding issue. Yes the OP should have put her foot down to the rescue, but sometimes that's a very hard thing to do.
 
yaretzi said:
Personally, I think you should return this rabbit and look elsewhere. The way that the rescue has gone about this is totally wrong - you need to be able to start up a flicker of a bond and feel good about your decision before you bring the rabbit home. You need to be excited about the rabbit that you're getting! Then, even if it does take a while to bond with the rabbit, it doesn't matter because it was your decision to take her and you'll likely feel confident in that choice. Even if you waver in your confidence, you'll probably feel like you chose her and you'll persevere. You were given a rabbit that you hadn't even met, whilst being denied a rabbit that you had a connection with - I can totally see why you'd be finding it hard to bond. You probably will, in time. I think the rescue in question is doing rabbits such a disservice by not letting the potential owner meet their rabbit and form a bond. Then what? Some rabbits will no doubt be shoved at the end of the garden and forgotten. The rescue needs to be forging bonds between animal and owner in order to prevent neglect/cruelty - not just handing rabbits out like they're all the same with no personality differences. :roll:

I also understand where you're coming from on the bonding front. The contract with the clause that they might take your rabbit away if they get slightly injured will obviously breed animosity in you towards the new bunny, especially if she's the one being flighty and she's the one that's likely to nip/scratch. Will the rescue not bond for you?

The OP is clearly a good rabbit owner. She's provided homes to many rabbits over the years, with many having what sounds like amazing outdoor enclosures and with many having free range and being integrated totally into the household.

I totally understand the 'don't give up on the rabbit' approach, and I personally find it difficult to understand that a rabbits personality might not be right. But we have to understand that the OP has her rabbits free range all the time. The rabbits are not taking up a 'rabbit' role - they're more like a dog... and people are very particular about what type of personality they want in a dog. It must be very frustrating to be in OP's position with the rescue and the bonding issue. Yes the OP should have put her foot down to the rescue, but sometimes that's a very hard thing to do.
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Great post.
 
Vegan_Bunny said:
What is happening when you put them together? Is everything neutral?

The rescue should not have given you a rabbit that didn't seem to get along with your bun, simply because she was more difficult to adopt. They should have given you the rabbit that he got along with best. I would not fully trust this rescue if I were you.
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I totally agree.
 
yaretzi said:
Personally, I think you should return this rabbit and look elsewhere. The way that the rescue has gone about this is totally wrong - you need to be able to start up a flicker of a bond and feel good about your decision before you bring the rabbit home. You need to be excited about the rabbit that you're getting! Then, even if it does take a while to bond with the rabbit, it doesn't matter because it was your decision to take her and you'll likely feel confident in that choice. Even if you waver in your confidence, you'll probably feel like you chose her and you'll persevere. You were given a rabbit that you hadn't even met, whilst being denied a rabbit that you had a connection with - I can totally see why you'd be finding it hard to bond. You probably will, in time. I think the rescue in question is doing rabbits such a disservice by not letting the potential owner meet their rabbit and form a bond. Then what? Some rabbits will no doubt be shoved at the end of the garden and forgotten. The rescue needs to be forging bonds between animal and owner in order to prevent neglect/cruelty - not just handing rabbits out like they're all the same with no personality differences. :roll:

I also understand where you're coming from on the bonding front. The contract with the clause that they might take your rabbit away if they get slightly injured will obviously breed animosity in you towards the new bunny, especially if she's the one being flighty and she's the one that's likely to nip/scratch. Will the rescue not bond for you?

The OP is clearly a good rabbit owner. She's provided homes to many rabbits over the years, with many having what sounds like amazing outdoor enclosures and with many having free range and being integrated totally into the household.

I totally understand the 'don't give up on the rabbit' approach, and I personally find it difficult to understand that a rabbits personality might not be right. But we have to understand that the OP has her rabbits free range all the time. The rabbits are not taking up a 'rabbit' role - they're more like a dog... and people are very particular about what type of personality they want in a dog. It must be very frustrating to be in OP's position with the rescue and the bonding issue. Yes the OP should have put her foot down to the rescue, but sometimes that's a very hard thing to do.
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I think this is spot on :thumb:
 
I got Angel from a rescue in 2005 to pair with the boy bun I had then.
She hated me then and she still hates me now :lol:
It bothers me not one bit because SHE is happy and that is what matters to me the most.
She lost her husbun last year and bonded with a new one, so she loves bunny company but if I try and stroke her she will run away and glare at me from across the room!
But last week, for the very first time in almost NINE YEARS......she chinned my finger when I held my hand out to her! And she let me rub her head :love: I have been in such a happy mood since!
So some bunnies aren't going to be all over you, you may not know what they've been through before they came to you, and I'm sure your bunny is frightened in a new home with someone (you) who is giving off bad vibes, she must know she's not wanted and may be reacting to that.
But it took my Angel almost 9 years to let me just touch her head and not once in those 9 years have I thought about giving her back EVER.

I also don't understand why you keep talking about the rescue not letting you pick the rabbits up, rabbits are prey animals and don't like being picked up so the rescue was doing the right thing there.

Oh and my new boy that came to me last year, my Henry, I had never met him before he was brought here to me. I had only seen pictures of him and I loved him before he even got to me.
It took me 2 months to bond them. I knew they liked each other but it was just a difficult bond. Worked in the end and they are as loved up as could be.

I, like others on this thread, have never met an animal I haven't liked.

I think it's rather selfish to only want to keep a rabbit if she 'fits in' or acts in a way you want her to.
Maybe stick to the chocolate variety from now on.
 
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