I am not bonding with adoptepd rabbit

[TheBee]

Do you need to have a bond with her? If you can provide a homeless rabbit with a loving home, thats surely enough? You will grow to love her - She is as deserving of love and a home as your bun, or the next one.

 

[Linette]

I find it takes longer than a few days to bond with an animal. Some animals you can immediately bond with, but most take time.
The point is that your rabbit gets on with her. You can't bond them and then take her back just because you dislike her...that is incredibly unfair to your current bun as well as to her.

They don't get on. They are not bonded. If they were I would keep her and let them live happily ever after. But the dates are not going especially well. She likes people but she's not so sure she wants to share with a rabbit!

The rabbit that he got on with best, and that got on with him they would not allow us to adopt. They wanted us to take her because she is a large breed and hard to adopt out. We have a large breed and I am familiar with large breed rabbits so I am not intimidated by them.

I am hoping that by the end of this week they will make significant progress and we would keep her. We are doing bunny dates and using all the tips I have been given.

 

[littleboots]

I DO want my rabbit to have a partner of his own kind, which is the point of this. If he and this rabbit were bonded, or even looked like they were making significant headway in that direction I would be happy to leave them in bunny bliss.

I've invested a great deal of time, money, emotion, study and effort into finding a good match.I do think it matters that the bunny is loved and comfortable with the whole family too. My rabbit is as close to us as dogs are to their families etc. It's not as if we are planning to put them in a pen to keep one another busy, they live free with us.

None of mine live in pens/hutches either.....part of the family along with the dog and cat
Hope you find a solution, have a look at some of the bonding threads... it may give some ideas and lift your spirits

 

[Jack's-Jane]

I DO want my rabbit to have a partner of his own kind, which is the point of this. If he and this rabbit were bonded, or even looked like they were making significant headway in that direction I would be happy to leave them in bunny bliss.

I've invested a great deal of time, money, emotion, study and effort into finding a good match.I do think it matters that the bunny is loved and comfortable with the whole family too. My rabbit is as close to us as dogs are to their families etc. It's not as if we are planning to put them in a pen to keep one another busy, they live free with us.

But that is irrelevant. You are focusing on your needs above those of the Rabbits. If you have only had her a week then it is not surprising that the bond is not established yet. A 'love at first sight' bond between Rabbits is not always the way it goes, as you obviously must know if you have had Rabbits for decades.

I too will say no more on this as I absolutely do not understand at all. I have had well over 100 Rabbits and each and every one of them has been a joy to know. Even the few who had no time for me at all, except when I had something for them to eat. Those Rabbits had very close bonds with their partners and they were very content. Some Rabbits need very little from us humans at all aside from the general husbandry that keeping Rabbits involves. On an emotional, 'feelings' level we need them far more than they need us.

 

[Tuckerbunnies]

I am sorry you feel the rescue pressured you into taking her.

I guess if you arent happy with her then maybe taking her back is for the best. Ten years is along time for her not to feel happy and wanted. Hopefully the right family will come a long for her soon.

Sent from my GT-I9000 using Tapatalk 2

I agree, she is best to go back as it's not fair for her to be not wanted and unhappy. Hopefully she will find a loving home that will give her time to settle

 

[Linette]

I really do appreciate everyone's input and candid replies. Giving me a lot to think about.

 

[Rosie42]

I really do appreciate everyone's input and candid replies. Giving me a lot to think about.

I'm glad that you are still thinking about it all.

I personally think that you should try to bond the new bunny with your current one for a while longer. If nothing progresses and they don't get on then you would have to consider getting a different bun. But, I do think that if your bun takes to her then you should keep her. If your bun loves her then I think that you would learn to love her because of that. That and the fact that if she is a more difficult rabbit to rehome, then you will have done a wonderful thing in giving her a forever home, as she would have potentially been in the rescue for a long time.

 

[Linette]

I hope that she comes round to liking my rabbit. He does seem to want to make friends with her, and she is good with people.

I do worry that since she is a larger rabbit she would be less likely to get out of foster care. I got the idea that she has only been kept in a pen, and that is sad. I have been giving her run of the kitchen when I am doing chores in there and she seems to enjoy that.

There are so many factors and personalities involved. Plus some outside stressors that I am sure are adding to the general air of anxiety. I am glad I found this community to talk things out with.

 

[nessar]

I think you need to give it some more time, but I also think that you need to stop bonding for now. It would not be fair for your rabbits to get attached and then be removed from one another, so I think that they should stay separate whilst you figure out what to do.

I don't have much of a bond with my rabbit Annabella. I love her and I look after her but we don't really connect - this is mostly due to the fact that she doesn't really like people. She's not scared or aggressive (although she is a bit grumpy), she just doesn't like people and really dislikes being touched. But the thing is, it doesn't really matter that we haven't bonded, as she and Barney are, and that is what it is all about really. The purpose of getting another rabbit is to make your existing one's life better.

I usually take a few weeks to bond with an animal properly, so I understand what you are feeling. I spent my first two weeks with Barney in frustrated tears at the destruction and mess and his behaviour, and bloody hands and arms from him biting and scratching me. But I quickly found that I loved him and we are very close now and he's my baby- in time he also relaxed, he's a soppy thing now, I think animals often can tell when they're not in a forever home and can be uneasy because of it ( Barney was meant to be temporary whilst I got him ready for rehoming).

As it is nothing that she is doing, and she is perfectly friendly and well-behaved, I think that maybe you just need some time. I think that perhaps you are feeling a bit disgruntled with the rescue and you are transferring those feelings onto her. But it isn't her fault and I think it's a case of the grass is greener.

 

[Vegan_Bunny]

What is happening when you put them together? Is everything neutral?

The rescue should not have given you a rabbit that didn't seem to get along with your bun, simply because she was more difficult to adopt. They should have given you the rabbit that he got along with best. I would not fully trust this rescue if I were you.

 

[Carrie14]

I have a rescue bun I've had for 4-5 years ish. We have no bond what so ever. She can't stand me and lets me know it, without aggression. I have no closeness to her. It's just the way it is.

Difference is I'm happy with it. She's off at a rescue centre at the moment, to be bonded. I have no idea what will be coming with her. He may be as dismissive of me as she :lol:

I think I just want to give my animals a good home and care for them, weather they like me or indeed I like the way the animal is with me! It's just something everyone laughs at how funny she is.

So yes I get what you mean, maybe just grin and bear it if you think you can look after her ok.

 

[nessar]

What is happening when you put them together? Is everything neutral?

The rescue should not have given you a rabbit that didn't seem to get along with your bun, simply because she was more difficult to adopt. They should have given you the rabbit that he got along with best. I would not fully trust this rescue if I were you.

I think it was a bunny that they wanted that their bun had the scuffle with at the rescue, not the one they took home.

 

[tulsi]

However it goes for you I wish you all the very best. Bonding with animals is a very sensitive thing. I have recently adopted two belgian hares from a rescue. It was the mum that I fell in love with.

I also liked a little brown fluffy lionhead buck at the rescue but was advised that the best bond would be with her son (she had a daughter who could have been bonded with the son if I had just had mum plus another).

This little son (Sunshine) is the friendliest of all my rabbits (even though I have only had them both a few weeks and the others for around a year)!!! Just goes to show, life is full of surprises.

As I said. Best of luck.

I suspect that you will be able to bond with your new rabbit once you have grieved for the loss of the one that you were prevented from adopting.

 

[natsusakura]

If you are able to hand her back at any time id give it a bit longer.
if the rescue decides not to allow a different bun to be tried then i think a different rescue would be better to go to.
you can discuss everything with them beforehand, and hopefully have a more positive experience.

i hope things work out, they usually have a way of doing so and im glad that you have found here for support
i know it can be hard to detach yourself emotionally, especially if bonding doesn't feel its going so well.
i also hope that maybe having a look at threads on bonding here may lift your spirits. xxxx

 

[Linette]

I'll be honest. I am not in a position emotionally or financially to adopt a rabbit and keep it for it's life span if it has no use for me. Hats off and tons of respect for people who can do that, but we really are looking for another member of the family and I think it's best if I am honest and up front about that with myself and everyone else.

The rabbit doesn't need to make me the center of her universe, but if she was mean or hostile to me, I couldn't keep her. There was a time I had means and space and kept rabbits that were not lovey, but those days are gone and I am not in a living situation that allows for that level of benevolence. I rehomed many rabbits when I had acreage etc, but I live in a home now in a wilderness situation so that it is unsafe to ever have the rabbits outside. We need to all be able to live together.

This girl is a bit skittish but not at all unfriendly or unwilling to make a people friend. I am more worried about her making a rabbit friend.

I can see her being a great pet for someone who allows her to rule the roost and call the shots. Not sure she is willing or able to join a bunny family. I say that because we are definitely a bunny family. We don't have a couch or coffee table, we keep a large area of our living space open so we can get on the floor and hang out face to face with our rabbit. So, selfish as it might come across to others, we really do want a rabbit who wants to be part of that.

I didn't really get a chance to bond with that other bunny we wanted, but the main reason we did like it was because it did have a calmer demeanor and it did seem to get along so well with my rabbit.

They were doing great. It was only after reintroducing her after two angry does (who attacked my rabbit) had been in the pen that she was jumpy and they had a scuffle. When they met under decent circumstances they really did well.

I felt it had a great deal of potential, yes, for all of us because she seemed ready to make friends.

This one gave us concerning vibes. My boyfriend saw her and asked if she'd been abused because of the way she held herself. Then the first thing she did when put into the pen with my rabbit was stamp in his face, then lay on top of his head. He was scared to respond after having been attacked by the other does.

I did ask them to wait and give him a chance to respond.....I really should have gone with my instincts. I suppose I had come all that way and all that expense and effort and wanted to believe that this was going to work.

Their is aggression between them, things are NOT neutral. Definitely need me right there, hands on both of them petting or things get ugly fast. He grooms her head, but she is not interested in returning the favor. They sit nose to nose when I am petting them, he grooms her, then she gets up , stamps at him and takes off, comes past again, stamps again, at which he gets angry and lunges.

I try to make sure each session ends with at least side by side petting and me talking nice to both of them so they don't end on a sour note.

 

[bumblicious]

I think from everything you've said that you have decided you can't have this bunny. If that's the case then it's best to give him back because simply because your heart has to be in it and it sounds like you know that and that's why you've made this decision- it sounds to me like you have.

 

[Carrie14]

No use for you

 

[MissSherwood89]

I'll be honest. I am not in a position emotionally or financially to adopt a rabbit and keep it for it's life span if it has no use for me. Hats off and tons of respect for people who can do that, but we really are looking for another member of the family and I think it's best if I am honest and up front about that with myself and everyone else.

The rabbit doesn't need to make me the center of her universe, but if she was mean or hostile to me, I couldn't keep her. There was a time I had means and space and kept rabbits that were not lovey, but those days are gone and I am not in a living situation that allows for that level of benevolence. I rehomed many rabbits when I had acreage etc, but I live in a home now in a wilderness situation so that it is unsafe to ever have the rabbits outside. We need to all be able to live together.

This girl is a bit skittish but not at all unfriendly or unwilling to make a people friend. I am more worried about her making a rabbit friend.

I can see her being a great pet for someone who allows her to rule the roost and call the shots. Not sure she is willing or able to join a bunny family. I say that because we are definitely a bunny family. We don't have a couch or coffee table, we keep a large area of our living space open so we can get on the floor and hang out face to face with our rabbit. So, selfish as it might come across to others, we really do want a rabbit who wants to be part of that.

I didn't really get a chance to bond with that other bunny we wanted, but the main reason we did like it was because it did have a calmer demeanor and it did seem to get along so well with my rabbit.

They were doing great. It was only after reintroducing her after two angry does (who attacked my rabbit) had been in the pen that she was jumpy and they had a scuffle. When they met under decent circumstances they really did well.

I felt it had a great deal of potential, yes, for all of us because she seemed ready to make friends.

This one gave us concerning vibes. My boyfriend saw her and asked if she'd been abused because of the way she held herself. Then the first thing she did when put into the pen with my rabbit was stamp in his face, then lay on top of his head. He was scared to respond after having been attacked by the other does.

I did ask them to wait and give him a chance to respond.....I really should have gone with my instincts. I suppose I had come all that way and all that expense and effort and wanted to believe that this was going to work.

Their is aggression between them, things are NOT neutral. Definitely need me right there, hands on both of them petting or things get ugly fast. He grooms her head, but she is not interested in returning the favor. They sit nose to nose when I am petting them, he grooms her, then she gets up , stamps at him and takes off, comes past again, stamps again, at which he gets angry and lunges.

I try to make sure each session ends with at least side by side petting and me talking nice to both of them so they don't end on a sour note.

Do these lunges end up as full-on fights? If not, to me that just sounds like normal bonding :? I assume you're giving them dates, how long do you leave them together? Personally I'm not a fan of dating, every time they're separated things go back to square one. They need time to figure each other out and sort out dominance. My pair have been together for a month, they still have the odd chase and grunt, and a few weeks ago they had a bit of a bad scuffle but it doesn't seem to have affected their bond at all. Maybe try leave them together longer? Let them get to know each other properly.

 

[Linette]

Do these lunges end up as full-on fights? If not, to me that just sounds like normal bonding :? I assume you're giving them dates, how long do you leave them together? Personally I'm not a fan of dating, every time they're separated things go back to square one. They need time to figure each other out and sort out dominance. My pair have been together for a month, they still have the odd chase and grunt, and a few weeks ago they had a bit of a bad scuffle but it doesn't seem to have affected their bond at all. Maybe try leave them together longer? Let them get to know each other properly.

Oh my goodness!

You and I must be old school! When I kept rabbits years ago, and was known as the local rabbit lady, another would come to us and it would be "look everyone! a new buddy!" and in they'd go and everyone would circle and thump and there'd be a minor scuffle and some would give the other the stink eye, and they'd sort it out and in a couple days they were lying in piles on top of one another or the new guy was getting the fur licked off his head by 3 besotted females.

BUT, those were in outdoor conditions with real dirt to dig in, and grass to play in and all that good stuff.

Indoors with just two bunnies...apparently there is a whole dating ritual more complex than that of humans.

I signed a contract that I would do the bonding process according to the "rules", and that if she comes back with a bite, scratch or hair missing from letting them work things out, I am fined $250, and they can call animal security to take my rabbit away. So I have read articles, watched videos etc etc to learn this new modern rabbit dating business.

The only time I had two rabbits who couldn't make friends was two males indoors. They would go out of their way to fight through the barriers to get at one another. It was madness.

So, even though it's not completely according to the rules, I have her in a pen, surrounded by another pen so they are in the same room but have several inches of clearance, otherwise they have tried to nip noses and scratch eyes. I figure they had better get used to sharing space, and the only other option is to have her locked in a room away from the family and that isn't good or happy for anyone.

The "dates" consist of the three of us going into neutral territory (hallway blocked off) and me petting each of them because without my hand on them they fight. We go nose to nose, all three of us, and have a bunny cuddle and lots of sweet talk. then I keep one bun calm and let the other hop about a bit and give us a sniff. The dates last anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour. I have not let them alone together at all without me being referee. I've had to break up some very angry scuffles. Never let it get out of hand at all.

I've tried having them eat greens side by side etc, she won't eat with him in the hallway, though he doesn't mind her presence. I've tried to get them to eat near one another with her in the pen, he's game but she feels pretty agressive. She stamps her foot at him a lot. He is a big baby and comes to me for comfort.

When I read articles saying this can go on for months, the idea is exhausting. If they hate each other that much....months of trauma seems like a lot to go through. Like I said, I never had this much trouble, but perhaps rabbits in groups are rather different than rabbits one on one.

 

[MissSherwood89]

Oh wow, those are some strict rules! :shock: It does sound a bit of a difficult bond but I wouldn't say impossible, it may just take a while, just depends on how long you're/they're willing to go through it. They kind of sound a bit like my two - Mylo is very active and likes to stamp at every little thing, Fili is quite, gentle and loves a fuss.

It must be a difficult situation for you all, the rescue don't sound particularly helpful either. I've taken a bunny back to rescue before (he and Mylo hated each other, poor boy ended up at the vets after she bit his lip), it was one of the hardest things I've ever done

I hope you can figure something out which makes you all happy.