Friend's rabbit help U/D: post 18

I'm having a moral dilemma about a friends rabbit. He's 9 years old, and for the last few years he's been living alone, with hardly any human contact. He's fed well, and always has hay and water...but has in a sense been forgotten, poor boy.

My other friend (her brother) offered me Pom this weekend when I went. I had to clean his bum when I went, as it was dirty. (As he's so old his teeth have worn down quite a lot, so he finds it hard to clean his bum. He's not overweight or anything.)

I laughed it off, as I'm obviously not ready for another bun. ...not at all!


The reason I'm concerned, is that I fear that at the moment I couldn't afford the vets bills I fear he'll need. (I'm pretty sure he has snuffles and any age related problems that might come up. He's had a tumour on a leg earlier in his life, and had it removed.)

I fear that they're waiting for him to die.

I'm not sure I could ever try to bond him with one of my girls, as one nip and his nose (in between his nostrils) would come off, as it's hanging on by a thread!! :shock: (I think from a fight with his then wife.)

What would you do?! One one hand I really don't think he has very long left, and that some human interaction is what he needs before he dies. ...which I really don't think is long off, but I also know that if a big vet bill came up I really couldn't afford it. He hasn't had his teeth checked in forever.

How much would baytril (and whatever else they treat snuffles with) cost?

I personally really don't want another bun yet....but really feel for Pom, and can't bear the thought of him just waiting to die. I know I could give him a good last year or two. ...but wouldn't be able to get over hidden costs.

I'm going to be honest Ali but like you said you can't really afford it and you're not ready for another bun.

I personally wouldn't do it. As heartbreaking as it is and despite it being said a million times before on RU ... You can't help them all. Has he got enough space? On the whole is he well looked after and it's just a general lack of human contact? Can you not give you friend so pratical advice and suggest they take them to the vets?

youthnovels said:

I'm going to be honest Ali but like you said you can't really afford it and you're not ready for another bun.

I personally wouldn't do it. As heartbreaking as it is and despite it being said a million times before on RU ... You can't help them all. Has he got enough space? On the whole is he well looked after and it's just a general lack of human contact? Can you not give you friend so pratical advice and suggest they take them to the vets?

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I frequently ask after Pom. ...and give him snuggles when I go over. He doesn't have a mansion, but a medium hutch and a really big run. (not ideal...but what can I do?) My friend is at Uni in term time, and so it falls to parents and brother to look after him. Brother cleans him out etc. but is feeling very bitter that he shouldn't be the one to do it. Parents have the mentality that he doesn't really need mental stimulation...I've talked to them about it many a time.

If it was just baytril for what I think is snuffles then I could afford it...but it's the hidden costs. I'm not sure when he last went to the vet, and can't remember if he's been vaccinated :?) No...I'm really not ready...but I doubt I'd ever be. It'd be giving a retirement home to Pom....I don't think he has long left at all.

I am not sure what to advise Ali, I think the decison has to come down to what you can live with. If you think you would regret not taking him in for his final year or two then maybe that is your answer but if you feel very strongly that you can not deal with it then that is your answer. I guess if you do take him in you need to be prepared that he may leave you quite quickly, would you be able to cope?
If you could then that is great as it will send him off happily and not lonely but if you cant then Ali you are not a bad person!!

I think I would take him, but I know it's not an easy decision if you can't afford vets costs.

It's a pity you aren't closer because I need another oldie here

I think I'll call James tonight and talk about it. If they took him to the vets before I took him then I'd be happier. It's the unknown that I'm terrified about. You've put it perfectly RachyLou. I don't know if I'll "connect" with him ever...but it wouldn't stop me giving him the cuddles he deserves.

*Ooof...I get an uneasy feeling, thinking about it*...might have to think a bit more before I talk to them... As selfish as this sounds...if I feel this nauseous just thinking about getting another bun who isn't Teddy, then what might I be like getting him...

Could you say you will foster him for them but they will have to pay all the bills? That might eliminate one issue and then you can look inside and see if you can realistically take him.

Its ok if you don't, but at the same time, he might help your heart heal. I have found that sometimes bunnies send an opportunity or experience from beyond the grave. Maybe Teddy is sending you this.

If you did take him he would never be Teddy and he wouldn't be trying to replace him and you wouldn't be trying to replace him either. You would both just be finding a new friend in each other.

Sky-O said:

Could you say you will foster him for them but they will have to pay all the bills? That might eliminate one issue and then you can look inside and see if you can realistically take him.

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That's an excellent suggestion.

i think you should stay well clear, what happens if you bring him home shower him with love and he suddenly feels safe enough to die after years of being ignored... how would you feel with another loss?

9 is pretty old aged and you have just suffered two terrible losses and i personally think by taking on this bunny you are asking for further heartache

ofcourse if hes already in your soul theres nothing you can do but go with your heart

It depends on yourself if you think you're ready. Could you honestly deal with another bun and a possible loss so close to Teddy's death? With an elderly bun you just don't know how it's going to go, the stress of a change of environment might prove too much for him depending on his general health.

I'd insist on a vet check before you take him, including a dental check. At least that way you'll know where you are with him. If you really couldn't cope with an unexpected bill, no matter what his state of health, don't get him. You have your other buns to think of too. If you could foster him and get them to pay the bills re Sky-o's suggestion, that would be by far the best solution. That way he could get the attention he deserves without putting your own buns at risk.

Harsh as it sounds hon, if you can't afford a bill, you can't afford to take him. By the sounds of it he isn't being mistreated, just not given enough attention. Sad as it is, you can't save them all.

i have been through these gut wrenching decisions before, i know what emotions you are going through. I think maybe the cost of vet bills is holding you back ( and that is a major thing you cannot dismiss) But in my experience once you have seen a bun like this you cant help but become emotionally involved with it. but will you ever find peace in your mind if you dont take it? ( that is if they would let it go! Some people actually think they are doing right by their buns and say they love them and wont let them go)
To help this bun may help you heal from loosing Teddy, but the financial side of it could be a problem.
I took a bun in similar circumstances. He is a wonderfull bun, i love him with all of my heart, but he has cost me a horrendous amount of money and his health problems will never be cured.
In the end i believe the descision that you make will be the right one for you.

Awwhh, that's quite a sad predicament.

From what you've said, it sounds like Pom is well cared for, just lacking in attention. If it's just cuddles and love that he needs, if your friends house is close enough could you not organise to go round several times a week and sit with him for a while?

I'd be torn too - I'd want to take him but the expense is always going to be a worry.

Have you thought about trying to get him into a retirement home like Rainbow Rabbits or the Rabbit Retreat?

georgie_f said:

Awwhh, that's quite a sad predicament.

From what you've said, it sounds like Pom is well cared for, just lacking in attention. If it's just cuddles and love that he needs, if your friends house is close enough could you not organise to go round several times a week and sit with him for a while?

I'd be torn too - I'd want to take him but the expense is always going to be a worry.

Have you thought about trying to get him into a retirement home like Rainbow Rabbits or the Rabbit Retreat?

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I don't think they'd go for that. :? You're all right! If the cost of vets bills is high then there's no way I can afford it. ...I probably wouldn't be able to cope with another death anytime soon.

The best I can do is try again to get them to pay him more attention. He's just a bit of a forgotten bunny. My maternal instincts have kicked in .

I'll have a serious think and a talk to James.

Bless you, I can tell you really just want to go and get him!

I guess it might be worth bringing up the retirement home idea with his owners. They may well agree to it as they're obviously caring for Pom, just not giving him the time he needs. Could you also suggest that as an elderly rabbit, they might want to consider bringing him indoors as a house bunny (say he'll get too cold or something!) and he'd hopefully get more attention that way.

If you do go down the retirement home route, he'd definitely have a place here if his owners wanted him to come...although Nottingham might be a bit far :wave:

The opportunity to bring love to the last year of a lonely rabbits life is actually a wonderful thing - and although it would be heartwrenching when he left it would be also enormously comforting to think what you had been able to give him.

Can you ask them about you having him and them helping with his vets fees?

You are just the person who could give him love.

In my experience (though others will have had much more experience and I obviously cannot guarentee anything!!!!) older buns are easy to bond as they seem to somehow have lost any hormonal ranking.

How lovely of you to even think about trying to help considering your recent loss and grief. I think if you can help him in his final days it would be a very worthwhile and selfless thing to do, but you must take care of yourself too at this vulnerable time. I hope it all works out ok x

It's not looking good for Pom. ...I doubt he's going to survive another month, as I'm pretty sure he has the same problem as Liz's Elwood.

I've offered to take Pom, and will take him straight to the vets. ....I can't bare the thought of him suffering!! If it is what I think it is then he'll have to be pts. If not....although I don't think this is a possibility...then I'll foster him "over the summer"...but honestly I doubt I'll let him go back!

Could you take him on the understanding that they cover the vets costs? Kinda foster him for them.

That way, they wont have to bother with him, and he gets the love and vet care he needs.

fluffiebunnie said:

Could you take him on the understanding that they cover the vets costs? Kinda foster him for them.

That way, they wont have to bother with him, and he gets the love and vet care he needs.

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Well, I think that's the plan. ...but if he has what Elwood has then it doesn't look good.