Thanks all, it means such a lot. Nobody here cares.. well not true, I've had a much needed hug off a neighbour but my family aren't interested in my devastation.
Thanks Jane. Just posting means a lot.
I am really struggling with this one. I was struggling with 'stuff' before so my resources are practically zero. I need my cuddle buns to get me through and devastatingly one of the friendliest, healthiest has been ripped from me. Esme had an obstruction on 23rd and I was told she had a heart murmur so high risk for anaesthetic. (it passed without surgery, thankfully). Just a few days later I go through the stress again with Gracie. Was told they expected her to be okay after coming to from the GA. They have no explanation for why she died and of course they have masses of experience with this surgery. She was young and in perfect health... How am I supposed to come to terms with it? There's only so much a person can take and she was part of the coping strategy.