WWYD - rehome or wait it out?

[Tofino]

I'll try to keep this brief but don't want to miss out info. Six weeks ago, we adopted two single rabbits M and F) to bond with our recently-widowed 8 year old female. They went to a professional bonder and seemed to have bonded as a trio. However, when they came home the bond broke down, despite following all advice. Both females had bonded well with the male but there was a lot of vicious fighting between the females. We spent three weeks working really hard to re-establish a bond between the two females, including bringing them into the house and sleeping next to them, and basically spending 24 hours for days on end watching over them, and it seemed to have worked. We then went on holiday for 3 weeks and they were absolutely fine (home boarding with a rabbit rescue lady).

We brought them home yesterday and all seemed great, but as soon as we gave them access to their outside run, the two females starting getting bristly with each other until a full on fight broke out. We brought them back into their enclosure, and again, they started fighting. I don't have it in me to try and rebond them. They fought so badly before and both I and the females have the scars to show it.

So my dilemma is this. Do we give up the new female, who we really love, or do we keep her as a single house rabbit until our older female passes away in potentially a couple of years or so, whereupon she can be bonded with the male (who she got on fine with before). The rescue we got her from is full (as are most) and she was already waiting for a home for a long time, so we feel we can give her a better life in the short term. But ideally she needs a partner, but I'm not prepared to get a fourth rabbit, plus as I say, I'm hoping this is only a fix for a year or two (not that I'm wishing my older female's life away - we love her v much). The new female is a really friendly rabbit, and loves human company, although I know this is not a substitute for rabbit company. WWYD? I'm gutted as we worked so hard to establish a bond, but unfortunately it seems the bond between the females was fragile. Thanks in advance.

 

[InspectorMorse]

Is there someone at home most of the day so a single House Rabbit would not be at home all day alone plus overnight alone when humans usually sleep ? If so and the Rescue are happy for you to keep her as a single House Rabbit I would do that. If the Rescue are not happy for her to be a single house Rabbit then they should agree to take her back and find her another home where she will have a Rabbit companion. The latter option would obviously be hard on you, but as you love her I am sure that you will want to do what is in her best interests.

Personally I think her being a single house Rabbit, as long as there will be someone home most of the time, is better than going back to a Rescue where she could remain alone for a long time again. Probably housed outdoors too, which is even harder for a single Rabbit.

 

[Tofino]

Is there someone at home most of the day so a single House Rabbit would not be at home all day alone plus overnight alone when humans usually sleep ? If so and the Rescue are happy for you to keep her as a single House Rabbit I would do that. If the Rescue are not happy for her to be a single house Rabbit then they should agree to take her back and find her another home where she will have a Rabbit companion. The latter option would obviously be hard on you, but as you love her I am sure that you will want to do what is in her best interests.

Personally I think her being a single house Rabbit, as long as there will be someone home most of the time, is better than going back to a Rescue where she could remain alone for a long time again. Probably housed outdoors too, which is even harder for a single Rabbit.

Thanks you for your reply. Yes, I work from home and will be in the same room as her for the majority of the day. Other members of the family are also at home for a large proportion of the day. I doubt the Rescue will be happy for her to stay as a single as understandably they promote rabbits in pairs/groups. I'm worried about contacting them in case they say I need to return her to them.

 

[InspectorMorse]

Thanks you for your reply. Yes, I work from home and will be in the same room as her for the majority of the day. Other members of the family are also at home for a large proportion of the day. I doubt the Rescue will be happy for her to stay as a single as understandably they promote rabbits in pairs/groups. I'm worried about contacting them in case they say I need to return her to them.

Well, I personally think she'd be better off with you as a single house Rabbit with lots of human company every day than back at the Rescue alone for goodness knows how long.

If the Rescue insist on only homing Rabbits to be kept in pairs/groups regardless of specific circumstances in individual cases then surly they wont take the Buck back too. It would be cruel to take him away from the Doe he's now bonded with.

With the crisis in the number of Rabbits in Rescue these days I personally think it is an acceptable compromise for you to keep her as a single house Rabbit.

 

[a reader of books]

I'm sorry the bond between your girl and the new girl wasn't successful. Personally I don't think it's fair to the single female rabbit to keep her on her own for potentially several years until your other female bunny passes away and she can be bonded to the boy. She can have human company all day, but, as you said, that will never be a substitue for bunny company. She needs someone who speaks her language, who she can cuddle with whenever she wants, who will keep a look out for danger so she can feel safe, who she can share her food with, who will be with her day and night, something not even the most dedicated human carer is able to do. Think about it this way: someone might be home all day, but how much of that time is spent actually engaging with the bunny? Not just being in the same room, but petting her, playing with her, grooming her, cuddling up for a nap together, keeping her busy? Even if you manage to do that for that 6 hours a day, and most people don't have 6 hours every day to cuddle and play with a bunny, she's still alone for the other 18 hours. A couple of years on her own is a long time for a rabbit, whose life is, of course, a lot shorter than ours. So, if you're not willing to get a fourth rabbit, personally I think it would be in her best interest to go back to the rescue where she can be adopted by someone who will allow her to have a bunny friend.

 

[KarenM]

If it was me, I would speak to the rescue to see how they would feel about what you're proposing for her. They agreed to you adopting them both on the understanding that they would both have companionship of their own kind &, with those plans changing so soon after, I feel it's only right to make them aware.

They might want to look for a new home for her where she can be bonded with another rabbit, but possibly would agree to her living with you in the meantime until a new home comes up (if you would be happy to do so) .... living for a short period as a single rabbit in a household with someone around is arguably better than her living alone in a rescue environment.

I agree with everything reader of books said too, though.

 

[Tofino]

I do see your point 'A reader of books' and 'KarenM'. I will be honest with the rescue and see what they suggest. You are right that the best thing for her would to be with another rabbit. I'm just so sad for us all that it didn't work out in our case.

 

[a reader of books]

I do see your point 'A reader of books' and 'KarenM'. I will be honest with the rescue and see what they suggest. You are right that the best thing for her would to be with another rabbit. I'm just so sad for us all that it didn't work out in our case.

Aw, that's really understandable that you're sad that it didn't work out. I'm sorry it didn't. Some bunnies are just not meant to be friends, and then we have a hard decision to make about how to go from there, when often we have already come to love the new bunny... I think KarenM's idea of, if the rescue and you agree, fostering her until someone could adopt her would be the best thing for her. That way she won't have to go back to the rescue, and she'll still end up with a friend once someone gives her a permanent home.

 

[joey&boo]

Its a tough one. I think how fair it is so keep a single bunny single for an extended period depends on the bunny ....& how the bunny is housed. So a single free range rabbit who was extremely sociable with people, confident, able & willing to join you on the bed, sofa...happy to walk on all surfaces in the house & therefore happy to come through to whichever room you're in...well that kind of life I think would be fine really, not ideal but a hell of a lot better than most pet rabbits lives. But I guess you'd have to be lucky to have your bun meet all these criteria & have good enough personal habits (not peeing on bed / sofa). I really like the foster idea if the rescue are agreeable

I'm sorry you're in this sad situation though, it can take no time at all to get attached to our long eared friends

 

[tulsi]

I feel for you. I had a similar situation with a widdowed rabbit who lived out her life next to a rabbit pair (all outdoors) so although she couldnt cuddle up to them she could at least see and smell them and had some kind of rabbit company.

I agree that it is best to contact the rescue and go from there. The fostering idea sounds good. I really hope you find a comfortable solution for all of you. It is never easy playing God to these wonderful creatures (or to any of our animal companions).

 

[InspectorMorse]

. You are right that the best thing for her would to be with another rabbit. I'm just so sad for us all that it didn't work out in our case.

It’s completely understandable that you feel upset. You obviously have the best interests of the Rabbits as your priority.

Best wishes for whatever you decide to do going forward.

 

[Shimmer]

Thanks you for your reply. Yes, I work from home and will be in the same room as her for the majority of the day. Other members of the family are also at home for a large proportion of the day. I doubt the Rescue will be happy for her to stay as a single as understandably they promote rabbits in pairs/groups. I'm worried about contacting them in case they say I need to return her to them.

Most rescues will be looking at the best interest of the animal, rather than rigidly sticking to their rules. I don't think moving her straight back to the rescue would be in her best interests, especially as they are likely to have no space and she is being cared for in a familiar and appropriate environment. They could ask you to keep caring for her as a foster, as another option.

 

[KarenM]

I do see your point 'A reader of books' and 'KarenM'. I will be honest with the rescue and see what they suggest. You are right that the best thing for her would to be with another rabbit. I'm just so sad for us all that it didn't work out in our case.

It's totally understandable to feel the way you do, and we get attached to them so quickly too. And then it comes down to putting their welfare before our own feelings.... which is never easy either. I'm so sorry it didn't work out

My suggestion of asking to keep her with you while they find her a new permanent home would make it even harder for you if/when the time comes too, so something else to consider.

You might even find that the rescue feel she would be the sort of rabbit that would do OK as a single rabbit though (as joey & boo described, some would cope better than others) but at least you can consider all options together with the rescue.

 

[Tofino]

Thank you for all your messages. It's all food for thought. I will be contacting the rescue but I'm also giving further consideration to whether we can adopt another rabbit as company for her.

 

[a reader of books]

Thank you for all your messages. It's all food for thought. I will be contacting the rescue but I'm also giving further consideration to whether we can adopt another rabbit as company for her.

That sounds good. I hope you and the rescue can figure out the best thing to do, and I'm glad you're considering maybe keeping her and giving her a friend.