My younger son cried a lot and I remember cleaning my guineas out at 2 a.m as that was the only time I had peace! I don't know if you have heard of cranial osteopathy but we paid for about 4 sessions for him and it really did work wonders. You obviously love your buns very much and I hope you find a solution. It does get easier!
-
Forum/Server Upgrade If you are reading this you have made it to the upgraded forum. Posts made on the old forum after 26th October 2023 have not been transfered. Everything else should be here. If you find any issues please let us know.
Cant cope any more. Any RU members want bunnies plus hutch and starting money?
- Thread starter Jemma&Theo
- Start date
Jemma&Theo
Mama Doe
Hi,
yeah i think i shall go to see a doctor. I havent heard of that cranial osteopathy but il google it now!
I keep thinking that im not depressed and that im fine, and I think i was until i tried to go back on the pill again... that can mess with your emotions though cant it.
lilbun
Warren Veteran
It certainly can, and your hormone levels. It can't hurt to talk to someone. Your baby may even be crying because she's picking up on how you are feeling (clever little beggars aren't they!).
Good luck, I hope you are able to find a solution that you are happy with xx
FudgeTort
Wise Old Thumper
It's obvious you love your bunnies very much to make such a selfless decision.
However, I would argue that as long as they have their basic needs met every day, have good accommodation and each other for company, then they will be happy, even with less human attention.
As others have said, your baby is still very young and things will get better.
However, if rehoming them is the right thing for you then I'm sure you'll find them a lovely place through the forum.
However, I would argue that as long as they have their basic needs met every day, have good accommodation and each other for company, then they will be happy, even with less human attention.
As others have said, your baby is still very young and things will get better.
However, if rehoming them is the right thing for you then I'm sure you'll find them a lovely place through the forum.
Jemma&Theo
Mama Doe
thanks,
i guess your right i just feel guilty for not giving them time and love like i used to
Kit06
Young Bun
I agree, if you could find someone to foster them for a while it could really help.
In a few months things may look different for you, babies change at an incredible rate and quickly become more independent, playing on their own and taking daytime naps (when you can get on top of jobs). At the moment I bet it feels like your life will never be your own again and you never get a seconds peace but it does get easier. I juggled 2 little ones, a horse and other assorted animals and in the early months wandered round like a zombie but it must have got better else I'd never have had the second child!
As you obviously love your buns very much finding someone to take the pressure off for a short while could be the answer and you could think about rehoming permanently if you still felt unable to meet their needs after you've had the break. Also, I agree with what others have said, if the buns are clean, fed and watered they'll probably be happy in their own company so don't beat yourself up if they're not getting as much snuggle time as they used to.
In a few months things may look different for you, babies change at an incredible rate and quickly become more independent, playing on their own and taking daytime naps (when you can get on top of jobs). At the moment I bet it feels like your life will never be your own again and you never get a seconds peace but it does get easier. I juggled 2 little ones, a horse and other assorted animals and in the early months wandered round like a zombie but it must have got better else I'd never have had the second child!
As you obviously love your buns very much finding someone to take the pressure off for a short while could be the answer and you could think about rehoming permanently if you still felt unable to meet their needs after you've had the break. Also, I agree with what others have said, if the buns are clean, fed and watered they'll probably be happy in their own company so don't beat yourself up if they're not getting as much snuggle time as they used to.
SarahP
Wise Old Thumper
You do sound incredibly depressed. The pill can most definitely do that - I can't take anything hormonal as it turns me into a crazy!
I know you don't think you're making a hasty decision, but agree with everyone else. Thinking of you x
Been there bought the t-shirt. My son didnt sleep through the night till 5 months old. I felt as though I was going to crack up as I had no help and felt it was a constant struggle. He is now 4 and yes he still needs a lot of attention but nowhere near what they do as babies, it does get better (slightly lol) though it doesnt feel like it at the time. If you were nearer I would have boarded them for a month or two till you sorted yourself out, cause I know at the minute you will feel overwhelmed.
Jemma&Theo
Mama Doe
Ok yeah. il think about boarding... anyone willing / able ?
SisterMoonbeam
Mama Doe
Do you have 'PetPals' in your area?
You could have someone come round for an hour perhaps twice a week and spend some extra time with the bunnies to give them a bit more attention while you are understandably preoccupied at the moment?
They are a 'pet sitting' service but I am sure they will not object to visiting while you are at home too
http://www.petpals.com/
You could have someone come round for an hour perhaps twice a week and spend some extra time with the bunnies to give them a bit more attention while you are understandably preoccupied at the moment?
They are a 'pet sitting' service but I am sure they will not object to visiting while you are at home too
http://www.petpals.com/
Pebblesetc
Mama Doe
I think boarding your buns for a month is a good idea. It will give you time to breathe. Please go and see your doctor about PND, and also ask if there is anyone you can talk to about handling infant temperaments. It sounds like your baby might be on the "difficult" (i hate that word but it's the technical term, I prefer spirited!) end of the temperamental spectrum. It's not a bad thing, there isn't really a temperament that is better than another, but spirited infants are certainly more challenging! It is important that you get support for yourself, and also support for you and baby so that you can minimize the frustration at both your end and baby's end.
Have you got a HomeStart near you? It's a charity that organise volunteers to help families - they'll help look after baby so you can get on with jobs (they don't do cleaning etc) and are there to provide a supportive ear. Our local one also ran a PND group counselling course which the Health Visitor refers you too which was really helpful.
Sorry - no new suggestions for the buns. And congratulations on your new arrival!
MotherPanda
Warren Scout
I Have a 10 month old baby, and the newborn days are still very fresh in my mind - PND is incredibly common and understanding and treatment is fantastic these days.
I agree that as your baby gets older, you may regret giving your bunnies up, so I would really recommend boarding or foster homes for them whilst you take some time out - then who knows, maybe you'll feel better and be able to take them home, or maybe you won't but at least you'll rehome them in a clearer state of mind (maybe with a bit more sleep behind you!).
I'm looking for bunnies at the moment, so would jump at the chance to foster/rehome a lovely bunny family if this is really what you want. Please PM me if I can help I am building a fantastic set up.
Keep posting, look after yourself.
I agree that as your baby gets older, you may regret giving your bunnies up, so I would really recommend boarding or foster homes for them whilst you take some time out - then who knows, maybe you'll feel better and be able to take them home, or maybe you won't but at least you'll rehome them in a clearer state of mind (maybe with a bit more sleep behind you!).
I'm looking for bunnies at the moment, so would jump at the chance to foster/rehome a lovely bunny family if this is really what you want. Please PM me if I can help I am building a fantastic set up.
Keep posting, look after yourself.
prettylupin
Wise Old Thumper
Agree with everyone else, especially Lilbun and Fruitandnutcake :thumb: I had PND, I knew it AND saw my GP several times - which was fantastic. You need to find a nice female GP, preferrably one who has had kids too. Mine was fantastic. Did the PND Edinburgh depression score each time I went and discussed things I could do to make things easier - to be honest just talking to her helped immensely as did bursting in to tears and telling a professional how I was really feeling - very therapeutic. Despite the no. of times I cried with my incredibly supportive husband and family, this was different. I decided I didn't want antidepressants at first and managed ok without them, got back on track for a while, but then dipped again when my little one was about 6 months old. I'm on antidepressants now (specific ones for PND) and I can not tell you how much better I felt, almost instantly, like my old self again - I do not know why I put off treatment for so long! I wish I had taken them sooner. I was also offered counselling but am actually fine without that as I have a very good support network at home.
You don't have to be crying to have PND, but what you describe reminds me of how I felt - just bite the bullet and go and see someone. Having a baby is flipping hardwork, until you have a newborn you just don't realise, but even more so having a newborn who cries a lot. My son had colic from birth and it didn't disappear at 12 wks like it is supposed to. It wasn't until he started solids to slow down his gut and bulk it up that things got better - we weaned him very early indeed and it made all the difference. Unless you have a screaming colicky baby you just can't appreciate the exhausting, helplessness, it really is horrific.
That said, babies cry for all sorts of reasons but they are unable to differentiate at this age between complex emotions - it is very primitive. I hurt, I have fear, I am tired, I am hungry and that is about it. The brain that deals with complex emotion is not fully formed until they are 3 yrs of age atleast. I am telling you this because it is important to understand that your child is crying for a very good reason and that she needs you. She is not trying to train you or manipulate you - she does not have the brain yet to do so, it is basic infant need. However, when we, as mothers, are feeling anxious, upset, depressed etc it is very hard for us to meet these needs. Babies rely on us totally to regulate their emotions for them, this is how they learn to do it for themselves. If you can't regulate your own, let alone hers, then she is going to be all over the place if you like and feeling uncontained/insecure. This is why it is really important you get help for you first
I have a strong feeling that if you do this, and I mean this holistically - see if you can get family/friends to give you some extra support - practical and emotional, you will feel more together and then so will your beautiful baby, and I suspect she will cry less as a result.
I can promise you it DOES get easier. I never thought those early weeks/months would end - it was like an impossible mountain to climb that never ended. My little boy is 16 months old today and although extremely demanding in every sense I cope so well now, I am me again, and life it so much easier, he walks, entertains himself, plays on his own etc, there are no more bottles/boobs/baby food etc.... it all changes I promise. For the first few months of his life I hardly ever saw my bunnies (and they are houserabbits!). My husband took over their care totally. Then, when I felt like it and had the energy, I would go and be with them, clean them out, spend time fussing over their hutch/toys etc like i used to and it was really nice, a treat. As things got easier with the baby I would spend more and more time looking after them again and eventually learnt to timetable it into the day - whenever there was opportunity. I now pretty much look after Poppy and our boy, my husband helps or does it when I can't find time. When you have a difficult baby it is just more than you can cope with, and rightly so, you need to focus your energy on you and your little one. I think that boarding or fostering is an excellent idea, just until you find your feet - and you will, I promise, it does get easier. Hugs xx
You don't have to be crying to have PND, but what you describe reminds me of how I felt - just bite the bullet and go and see someone. Having a baby is flipping hardwork, until you have a newborn you just don't realise, but even more so having a newborn who cries a lot. My son had colic from birth and it didn't disappear at 12 wks like it is supposed to. It wasn't until he started solids to slow down his gut and bulk it up that things got better - we weaned him very early indeed and it made all the difference. Unless you have a screaming colicky baby you just can't appreciate the exhausting, helplessness, it really is horrific.
That said, babies cry for all sorts of reasons but they are unable to differentiate at this age between complex emotions - it is very primitive. I hurt, I have fear, I am tired, I am hungry and that is about it. The brain that deals with complex emotion is not fully formed until they are 3 yrs of age atleast. I am telling you this because it is important to understand that your child is crying for a very good reason and that she needs you. She is not trying to train you or manipulate you - she does not have the brain yet to do so, it is basic infant need. However, when we, as mothers, are feeling anxious, upset, depressed etc it is very hard for us to meet these needs. Babies rely on us totally to regulate their emotions for them, this is how they learn to do it for themselves. If you can't regulate your own, let alone hers, then she is going to be all over the place if you like and feeling uncontained/insecure. This is why it is really important you get help for you first
I have a strong feeling that if you do this, and I mean this holistically - see if you can get family/friends to give you some extra support - practical and emotional, you will feel more together and then so will your beautiful baby, and I suspect she will cry less as a result. I can promise you it DOES get easier. I never thought those early weeks/months would end - it was like an impossible mountain to climb that never ended. My little boy is 16 months old today and although extremely demanding in every sense I cope so well now, I am me again, and life it so much easier, he walks, entertains himself, plays on his own etc, there are no more bottles/boobs/baby food etc.... it all changes I promise. For the first few months of his life I hardly ever saw my bunnies (and they are houserabbits!). My husband took over their care totally. Then, when I felt like it and had the energy, I would go and be with them, clean them out, spend time fussing over their hutch/toys etc like i used to and it was really nice, a treat. As things got easier with the baby I would spend more and more time looking after them again and eventually learnt to timetable it into the day - whenever there was opportunity. I now pretty much look after Poppy and our boy, my husband helps or does it when I can't find time. When you have a difficult baby it is just more than you can cope with, and rightly so, you need to focus your energy on you and your little one. I think that boarding or fostering is an excellent idea, just until you find your feet - and you will, I promise, it does get easier. Hugs xx