Bonder disaster

Scrappy's Little Helper said:

Loads and loads of bonding vibes for when the boys come home this weekend.

I know they're coming back a bit earlier than you'd have liked but I would be really encouraged by the bonder's report. It sounds like they don't hate each other, they just need to get used to each others' little "quirks". And it sounds as though they've already started to do that. I certainly found that my pair learned to become a lot more tolerant of their friend's annoying little habits!



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Aw thank you! I honestly believe it’s all everyone’s vibes and support that’s helped make this happen.

Yeah I think your right, even the cats are scared of Luther despite loving Truffle and Truffle being bigger the small fast moving bunny is scary! So I guess Truffle has to get used to the same thing, plus Luther is younger and quite active in comparison to Truffle.
It’s them coming here and fighting and not knowing what to do is what’s really bothering me.

It’s good to know yours went through the same and eventually got used to each other


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Update:

So I had a long chat with the lovely man at the centre and got the low down on how things have been.
Monday they were separate for the night because there was a fight and Luther got his lip bitten (they checked him out he was ok), so he didn’t want to leave them. Tuesday somehow they knocked over their cage and escaped into the room, but no fur or wounds so they must have ignored each other. Wednesday they were fine, Thursday signs of chasing in the hay but nothing else and today fine. Turns out after 4.30 they are on their own till the next morning.

So with that in mind I talked to him about what it would be like if they stay the weekend. He said volunteers will check every now and then, also clean out/feed etc, there’s a site manager there too so they are not totally alone but won’t have much attention. They leave at 2pm so two hours before they would normally be left anyway.

The behaviour they are showing is both are being defensive and neither are being aggressive, they are just getting used to each other still. So after I had a long conversation with my OH we think as they aren’t quite there yet it would be best to leave them because they are already settled in the centre rather than totally disrupt them tomorrow. I will call to see how they are mon afternoon and let the bonder watch them Tuesday and see if he thinks they are less defensive etc.
He thinks they will be fine over the weekend but obviously can’t guarantee, also he thinks (like we all did) it will take longer because of their previous bad experience.

I know it seems like a cop out, but it was such a hard decision. I hope it’s the right one. I’m so proud of my boys so far


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I would have found that a very hard decision to make, especially as you haven't been with them to assess the situation yourself. I think you have to go with your gut feeling that the man is experienced enough to judge the situation correctly. Personally, I'm surprised that they have been left overnight, plus that they were able to escape from their cage :shock:, but again he must have felt that they were OK to leave overnight, which again is positive.

I really wouldn't see this as a "cop-out" on your part :lol: I think there are very valid reasons for deciding as you have to leave them there.

I bet you will be on edge all weekend though However, it really does sound as though it's all going to have been worth it in the end

Omi said:

I would have found that a very hard decision to make, especially as you haven't been with them to assess the situation yourself. I think you have to go with your gut feeling that the man is experienced enough to judge the situation correctly. Personally, I'm surprised that they have been left overnight, plus that they were able to escape from their cage :shock:, but again he must have felt that they were OK to leave overnight, which again is positive.

I really wouldn't see this as a "cop-out" on your part :lol: I think there are very valid reasons for deciding as you have to leave them there.

I bet you will be on edge all weekend though However, it really does sound as though it's all going to have been worth it in the end

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I literally said the same thing to him and was just honest about why I was so torn, but I don’t think there will be much difference in their care over the weekend unless something goes wrong. But from what he’s told me it sounds like hopefully they are far along enough to deal with each other.
Yes I wasn’t exactly happy to hear they got out but I do know Truffle is an escapist we have to tie him in at night haha!

Thank you, I feel it’s a bit like I’m letting my fear get to me but deep down I feel it’s the right thing. Plus if something did happen they are already at the bonders rather than being an hour away if we have to start again.

Yes I don’t think I will get much sleep or relax much this weekend now! But I’m trying to have faith my boys can do it, because they just need time.
Thank you for your support x


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Truffpuff said:

I literally said the same thing to him and was just honest about why I was so torn, but I don’t think there will be much difference in their care over the weekend unless something goes wrong. But from what he’s told me it sounds like hopefully they are far along enough to deal with each other.
Yes I wasn’t exactly happy to hear they got out but I do know Truffle is an escapist we have to tie him in at night haha!

Thank you, I feel it’s a bit like I’m letting my fear get to me but deep down I feel it’s the right thing. Plus if something did happen they are already at the bonders rather than being an hour away if we have to start again.

Yes I don’t think I will get much sleep or relax much this weekend now! But I’m trying to have faith my boys can do it, because they just need time.
Thank you for your support x


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I think you're right to make this decision. I feel that you're at the point of 'do or die' as it were ..

As for rabbits getting out of pens etc, well no bonding method is 100% foolproof and these things happen.

Bringing them home for the weekend, in my view, would put the proverbial cat amongst the pigeons as they will be on home turf and completely confused .. Which to me wouldn't be a good thing as they may revert to type and get more hostile.

There may be the odd scratch or bite, let's hope no more than that, over the weekend. But I feel this is (almost?) the last chance saloon for these guys to make it or break it.

Mega vibes. And especially for you and OH!!

MightyMax said:

I think you're right to make this decision. I feel that you're at the point of 'do or die' as it were ..

As for rabbits getting out of pens etc, well no bonding method is 100% foolproof and these things happen.

Bringing them home for the weekend, in my view, would put the proverbial cat amongst the pigeons as they will be on home turf and completely confused .. Which to me wouldn't be a good thing as they may revert to type and get more hostile.

There may be the odd scratch or bite, let's hope no more than that, over the weekend. But I feel this is (almost?) the last chance saloon for these guys to make it or break it.

Mega vibes. And especially for you and OH!!

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Yeah that’s what I was worried about, too much familiarity when they weren’t quite ready yet. By Tuesday I’m hoping they will be much more used to each other’s behaviour and personalities.
He thinks after their trauma of the first “bonder” it’s going to take more time than usual, which I expected.

Yes I hope neither will have an ear missing! But when talking to the bonder, it made me think hopefully it will be as you say, just a cut here and there, just superficial if anything because they aren’t being actively aggressive towards each other.

Erm, for this bond place it is. But now we have seen it can be done with them, if the bond breaks down here, we have the option to try again in jan with the lady who originally going bond them and she has no time restrictions. So they have a chance still, but proved they CAN do it despite sceptics!

Aww thank you so much. It’s going to be a looooooong weekend I think for us! X


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Fully support your choice :thumb:

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daphnephoebe said:

Fully support your choice :thumb:

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Uh that’s such a relief to hear other people agree with our decision, it’s so hard to keep making these choices and hoping they are right. Thank you DP!


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Hi guys.

So I just spoke to the bonding centre. Basically over the weekend he has heard some conflicting stories and opinions from the weekend. Apparently Saturday was fine but Sunday a lot of nipping from Truffle when Luther goes near him. So no aggression but still lots of friction. He said the main lady founder of the centre is sceptical about it working out.

I asked what his opinion was on scenarios and he said it could be bad blood still from the bad bond before, or something happened over the weekend that upset them, they aren’t matched or just need time.

So that’s a massive knock back for me at the moment.
I keep thinking that it’s just time they need to get used to the idea of being together because I know Truffle can be a bit of a brat, but I can’t help having a niggle in the back of my mind I’m kidding myself :-(

Going to bring them home tomorrow afternoon and carry on here now x


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I'm sorry it's not what you wanted to hear. I hope they settle down when they get back home. Maybe they will learn to live with one another, maybe not

tonibun said:

I'm sorry it's not what you wanted to hear. I hope they settle down when they get back home. Maybe they will learn to live with one another, maybe not

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Thank you.
I have some hope because he hasn’t seen any of that today with them.

I hope they don’t go backwards when I bring them home


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Truffpuff said:

Hi guys.

So I just spoke to the bonding centre. Basically over the weekend he has heard some conflicting stories and opinions from the weekend. Apparently Saturday was fine but Sunday a lot of nipping from Truffle when Luther goes near him. So no aggression but still lots of friction. He said the main lady founder of the centre is sceptical about it working out.

I asked what his opinion was on scenarios and he said it could be bad blood still from the bad bond before, or something happened over the weekend that upset them, they aren’t matched or just need time.

So that’s a massive knock back for me at the moment.
I keep thinking that it’s just time they need to get used to the idea of being together because I know Truffle can be a bit of a brat, but I can’t help having a niggle in the back of my mind I’m kidding myself :-(

Going to bring them home tomorrow afternoon and carry on here now x

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Oh dear

When you get them home, give them lots of distractions - boxes, herbs, forage sprinkled in litter trays etc.

I'm so sorry to hear this. You have tried so hard xx

Well from someone who has zero actual experience of bonding, but who has certainly read loads about it, including people's experiences on this forum, I really would not give up hope. I say this because in my view it's still early days. Also it doesn't seem as though it was full on war over the weekend, just a bit of nipping (OK not nice, but not dramatic). I think you also said that it took Truffle a long time to be OK with your cats, but that settled eventually?

If it were me, I would certainly persevere. I think both j&b and dp had to stick at their bonds for a while, but got a good result in the end.

As it's not full on war and they've been living together all this time I think you shouldn't give up hope.

Just remember once they've moved back home they may kick up a fuss again as it's new territory. Just stay strong and avoid splitting them up x

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daphnephoebe said:

As it's not full on war and they've been living together all this time I think you shouldn't give up hope.

Just remember once they've moved back home they may kick up a fuss again as it's new territory. Just stay strong and avoid splitting them up x

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I'd echo this. Good luck

MM, Omi, DP and J&B thank you.

I’m trying to stay positive with the fact they are still together and not been actually aggressive. And yes Omi that’s exactly right it took about a month of positive training before he liked the cats (well tiny kittens at the time), then again he went of them as they became “men” until after their hormones went.

We are trying to sort out the hutch tonight (I had asked my OH to do it this weekend but hay ho), so the new Lino flooring is down and the ramp somehow blocked off so they stay in just the top.

I have been told no toys or litter tray as it could encourage territorial behaviour, just newspaper and hay in the hutch.

I’m just really nervous driving them home together in a carrier, bad weather as it’s meant to freeze tonight and I’ll be on my own till 5, so it’s all very daunting.

I really hope they are not to bad when they get here, should I ask for some of their current bedding so it’s less like brand new territory here?

Thank you all for your support and positivity it really means a lot right now xx


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I'm not sure if the existing bedding will help, but maybe someone else can advise on that.

Lots of vibes for getting them home today. I'm sure it'll all be fine xx

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Also sending lots of vibes for today. Regarding their bedding I don't think it can harm and maybe if there is combined poo amongst it, it could be beneficial.

I know when we travelled home with my three from the rescue, they advised us to take some of their bedding with us.

Truffpuff said:

MM, Omi, DP and J&B thank you.

I’m trying to stay positive with the fact they are still together and not been actually aggressive. And yes Omi that’s exactly right it took about a month of positive training before he liked the cats (well tiny kittens at the time), then again he went of them as they became “men” until after their hormones went.

We are trying to sort out the hutch tonight (I had asked my OH to do it this weekend but hay ho), so the new Lino flooring is down and the ramp somehow blocked off so they stay in just the top.

I have been told no toys or litter tray as it could encourage territorial behaviour, just newspaper and hay in the hutch.

I’m just really nervous driving them home together in a carrier, bad weather as it’s meant to freeze tonight and I’ll be on my own till 5, so it’s all very daunting.

I really hope they are not to bad when they get here, should I ask for some of their current bedding so it’s less like brand new territory here?

Thank you all for your support and positivity it really means a lot right now xx


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Thinking of you x

Regards the bedding - I doubt it would do any harm, and if they feel it would help then bring it along.

So I got to the place at 1pm after a very nerve wracking hour drive in the horrible weather. He had them separated when I got there because Truffle had been quite nippy and not great this morning and he had cleaning outside to do so didn’t want to leave them unsupervised. So they had been apart for 3 hours, and we agreed separate carriers would be best as I’m alone and on motorways.

At home I put Luther in first and he found the dry banana and apple pieces I hid in the hay bedding so was happy. Them I released the Truffle puff, I expected it to kick off, but nothing really happened.

So far since 2.30 they have been munching a few bits I plopped in there and that’s it. Any slightly bad behaviour my voice is enough to stop Truffle so far.

I’m noticing at the moment Luther is very worried when Truffle goes near him and panics so runs. This I think has been the trigger and I’m assuming time is the only healer for that behaviour. They are staying opposite ends at the moment still the whole time but I’m ok with that if it makes them more at ease. I’m sure it won’t stay like this but feeling ok so far!

And I’m so grateful to have had the wonderful DP on hand to talk to today during my many panics and mini breakdowns! X


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