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Ignoring each other... I need help!!! - U/D 4th feb

R

Rupert & Tia

Mama Doe
So, as you may konw, Rupert was kept in the vets for 24 hours on wednesday - thursday and they wouldn't let tia stay.... we brought rupes home thursday and since then, they've pretty much ignored each other, its awful :( Their bond was so strong before, and we're at a loss as to what to do!

Last night she binkied every time he went near her, but he just ran away, there was a little mounting from tia (this is normal for them) but he ran away...

Today, they're just completely ignoring each other, Tia is barely eating (altho shes just had some herbs).

We've just set up a small enclosure using their fence from outside, in the hope it would push them together but rupes was getting too stressed trying to get out.

They live in a 3 story 6ft x 4ft shed.... they spend most of their time on the top shelf, but even on there they are ignoring each other - each have a heat pad and theyre just not interacting at all.

Theres no aggression (there never ever has been).

They've been together 2 years (2 years this week actually).

What can I do?! Given that Rupes isn't quite better so stress needs to be minimal. Will they ever be the same again? I'm really worrid :(
 
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Ooooh, cant help with advice but just want to say good luck!, Thats the worst thing about them being seperated at the vets

Fingers crossed, its just a blip

Fee xx
 
thank you, its awful. since the day they were put together at the rspca (on wednesday it will be exactly two years) they have been inseperable - even when rupes went for neuter - she sat next to his cage the whole day and didn't move and they used to lie next to each other - tia in the open room and rupes in his cage :( so to see him ignoring her is so hard :( she is off her food because he's ignoring her and its just heart breaking, ive not slept since tuesday night and i have this horrible knot in my stomach and feel physically sick :( My worst fear has always been their bond breaking, because its so strong, and because well, honestly, we can't have seperate rabits we dont have the space.

shes heartbroken and tbh i feel the same :( and he hates me, if i go near him he turns his back on me, he wont let me touch him, he wont sit on my lap, he hates me :(
 
Thanks hun, they're back in their shed now, an hour early but they need to sort this out, we're thinking leaving them alone might help :( its all my fault, i should have demanded she stay with him :(
 
well obviously im no expert but my babies chase each other around at feeding time and get a bit grumbly but they are fine apart from that, so all i can say is try to re-bond them and go through the motions again
 
Its quite hard, i didn't bond them, the rspca did it for us as we got them both there, and they were our first rabbits... everywhere says 'use neutral territory' but i dont understand what that means - they don't have any neutral territory - they share a shed, share the garden, and share the entire house with us :?
 
It sounds to me as if Rupes is incredibly cross with everyone about his stay at the vets on his own. He may also be feeling insecure especially about his place in the social heirarchy of your family.
The good news is that they're not fighting. That's really hopeful.:D

I can only help with the human relationship side. Benje gave me the huge order of the bum after a dental this week, running under the bed from me. Thumper used to do this too. They don't hate you -they're just cross & asking for appeasement.
I tickle the tail which makes them spin round, then get in a fast nose rub. If that's not enough appeasement, I keep on every 1/2 hour, until I've done enough appeasing & we're back to normal!

I suspect that what Rupes really wants from Tia is grooming, but what she's saying by mounting, is reaffirming that she's top bun.
Do you think that if you can normalise his relation with you, you can use this to help them overcome their insecurity with each other?
 
Is it possible he's uncomfortable in any way? That he's not ignoring you and her because he's annoyed but because he's not comfortable?
 
If I were you I would leave them be but check up on them frequently to make sure there is no fighting. Ignoring each other isn't the end of the world, sometimes if a bun feel unwell/stressed then they just want to be left alone for a while. Maybe if he is left to his own devices he will come out of his shell and start interacting with his partner.
My buns have quite a volatile relationship :lol: They chase and often pull fur from each other at feeding time or when they get excited. When Fiver came back from his dental (my vets also refused to take his partner) they pretty much ignored each other but this was because Fiver was still a bit drowsy and just wanted to be left alone. After I had made sure he was eating etc I let him be with Xena in their room and the next day they were back to chasing each other all over!
If not then I would wait until he feels better and restart the bonding process again or pen him in to a smaller enclosure and see if he will tolerate it better when he doesn't feel poorly/stressed. Forcing them to be together may end up in a fight but they do need to sort out their hierarchy again. Just make sure you watch them CONSTANTLY if you do this!
 
As long as there are no signs of aggression then I'd watch but leave them to it. He'll smell weird and feel off and she'll be unsettled to as obviously neither understand what is happening. Just give them a bit of time to settle, ignoring is often a rabbit way to size up a situation they are unsure of.
 
Thank you, they've been back since thursday and i think you're right, hes angry at me for putting him in carrier, holding him down then handing him over and leaving him. Hes angry at Tia for leaving him, she's angry at him for not being there.

He doesn't smell like himself, even we can smell that. He could be uncomfortable, ive spied on him from the stairs window (i can see into their shed from there) and hes not showing huge signs of being in pain - he's eating hay, hes pooping, hes weeing.

i put them in a small enclosure last night together, but he was getting too stressed, and i thought this can't be doing him any good, so I let them out, so I put them in their shed early, and thought that them being together in their own home would help. I checked them every half hour till I went to bed, there's been no fighting, no fur pulling, nothing (that would mean they have to acknowledge each other). This morning i gave her a bit of brown bread toasted (vet said if shes not eating cos of stress to do this cos then at least its fibre and she loves toast) and she stole it off me :lol: and they stole it off each other but in the end they sat together eating it.

On friday night they were chasing each other and binkying, but then we had a vet check up on saturday morning (i thought this would help them) but made them ignore again.

She chsed him this morning and mounted his head (normal for them) he didn't bite her (i was really worried he may bite or attack her) but when she stopped she didn't groom him like normal. he just walked away :(

Theres no aggression and i think thats a good sign, like Ruby said, if she really didn't want him there she'd have attacked by now. I think he needs to smell like himself again, he's washing non stop and his little paws are black because of the newspaper he was on :(

We were trying to remember if they were like this when we brougth them home when they were first bonded but i can't remember, i dont think they were as in love as they became. but don't think they ignored each other.

Thank you for all the advice, ill keep you posted.

They come in the house every night for 3 hours, but i've decided that if they ignore each other they're going straight back into their shed.
 
I'm not in the same position, but what worked for us, may help you. A month ago we got Binky as our lovely Oscar went to the bridge. For a month we tried the usual bonding things, small space etc, which had always worked in the past, but not this time. There was fighting, fur flying, and totally ignoring each other. We were on the point of taking Binky back to the rescue, but we love him so much, we just couldn't do it, so we tried something.

We brought both bunnies indoors, and sat them between my husband and me, on the sofa. The buns were squashed together on the thick bunny towel. We stroked them constantly, and they were clearly very happy. After an hour we put them in the bonding set up, and they sat next to each other for the first time! We have been doing that two or three times a day, and have now extended the bonding set up, and so far so good. I have just been out, and again they were sat next to each other, it is amazing to see.

It's worth a try, but this is the only thing that has worked for us.

Good luck, it must be heartbreaking to see this happen. In the past we have had buns at the vet, even for a few days, but it has never caused a problem when they have returned home. But as we all know, every bun is different.
 
Good news !!!!!!!!! I left them lokced in the shed from 8pm Saturday til 6pm sunday - checked them every half an hour, and sometimes he was facing her, others had his back to her..... we told each other if they were still ignoring each other they were going back in the shed - so we let them in as normal yesterday...... and they're totally in love again!!! Cuddling up, grooming, rupert even had tia's face in his paws washing her!!! Sooooo happy! This morning he's following her everywhere n even let me stroke him!
 
Thank you, yeh, he's certainly holding a grudge this time bless him!!!! I think they were annoyed on Saturday because of the vet check up :lol: but he still turning his back on me and flicking his feet at me, altho i did hold a handful of pellets in the air so he Had to give me a cuddle (he had one paw in my eye and one in my mouth :lol: ) this morning he almost gave me a cuddle on their top shelf then he remembered he was grumpy at me and thought better of it :lol:

He'll get there with me, I'm just happy they're in love again!!! I told them on saturday night they weren't coming out again until they were in love again xxx
 
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