If Your Child 'Lost Interest' in Their Pet Rabbits.............

[Alibunmum]

The kids wanted rabbits but it was my decision to get them and my responsibility to care for them and they help.

My 9 year old wanted a hamster for his birthday. While I help with big cleans and putting the cage together, she is his responsibility. No food for you if you've not fed the hamster, no computer time or ipod until she's cleaned out. So far I've not had to enforce the rules because he enjoys spending time with her but that is how it works in this house!

 

[doorkeeper]

No adult should be silly enough to take a child's promise seriously on an issue like this. The span of time involved is outside a child's experience. Forcing them to keep to it would poison not only their relationship with the rabbit but with the parent. Parenting is not about force. The example of the parent caring for the rabbits would be the best way forward.

I went through this with my son's gerbils! And Moonlight was supposed to be his and 9 years later I am still looking after her.

 

[Tamsin]

I don't think you as an adult can hold a nine year old to a promise - they aren't old enough to promise something like that and an adult should know that. You're asking a child to promise to look after something day in and day out for what might longer than they've even been alive themselves at that point. I don't think they can have a concept of what that means.

The ages 9-19 are a massive learning curve. How can a nine year old understand the pressures they'll be under at 16/17 or factor in decisions about what they'll do with a rabbit if they go to university, or move out and taking responsibility for vet bills - it's not even inconceivable they could even have a child of their own at some point in the rabbit's life. A nine year old isn't going to be able to make an informed decision, that's what parents are for.

Making a child promise something a lot of adults have trouble committing to is setting yourself and them up for failure.

 

[mini lop1]

I don't think you as an adult can hold a nine year old to a promise - they aren't old enough to promise something like that and an adult should know that. You're asking a child to promise to look after something day in and day out for what might longer than they've even been alive themselves at that point. I don't think they can have a concept of what that means.

The ages 9-19 are a massive learning curve. How can a nine year old understand the pressures they'll be under at 16/17 or factor in decisions about what they'll do with a rabbit if they go to university, or move out and taking responsibility for vet bills - it's not even inconceivable they could even have a child of their own at some point in the rabbit's life. A nine year old isn't going to be able to make an informed decision, that's what parents are for.

Making a child promise something a lot of adults have trouble committing to is setting yourself and them up for failure.

:thumb:

 

[mushlett]

My kids have always been great with the pets, my son desperately wanted guinea pigs he has always been obsessed with them, I was a bit reluctant at first as I had no particular draw to them (it was Claire who convinced me of their awesomeness) so when a group of elderly guineas came to my attention (they had been in a rescue for ages) I relented and got them but I had to be sure that I wanted them as well as they are my responsibility. I don't know what I would do if he didn't want them anymore obviously I would keep them but I don't know how I would actually deal with his attitude to it, hopefully I won't ever have to. Both my kids love all their animals but we had most of them before the kids so they have grown up knowing that come rain or shine we muck out the ponies, walk the dog feed chickens rabbits chinchillas etc, its how I grew up and I never wanted to give up any animal and I hope they won't either.
I will just always ensure that I am 100% committed to all our pets and I just hope they will follow my example.
My husband and son also want a snake but we are not getting one as I have no particular liking for them so I will not want to look after them, so as a parent it is ultimately my responsibility xx

 

[baby04]

As a child I pestered my parents for a hamster when they finally bought me one I knew that if I didn't look after it that would be it no more pets and I knew I had to clean it out regularly as if there was any nasty smell that would also be a deal breaker. I then went on to have lots of hamsters over the years so I am thankful to the strictures of my Dad. My two first rabbits were unwanted children's pets Peter was my nephews rabbit and Ebony was my bosses child's rabbit I bonded them and fell in love with rabbits. My two current rabbits are primarily mine and my responsibility I have two children who like to help me feed and look after them as well as our three guinea pigs but I would never buy pets that are solely for the children any pets we have would be family pets and only would be animals that I or hubby would be happy to have responsibility over. As a mum I see my children go through phases of liking a particular toy or programme etc why would a desire for a particular pet be any different.

 

[marleysworld]

When my children wanted a pet hamster each I always knew it would be me cleaning them out and taking full responsibility for them. They played with them everyday but that was all. When they moved onto rabbits, again it was only when I decided I too would like them that we went ahead and got them.
I always clean them out and feed them because they are really mine. They just help with the cuddles and think they are theirs!
They have enough keeping up with school work at the moment.
I don't think any under 16 year olds really understand the amount of time/care a rabbit needs. They are not an easy pet to look after which is why unfortunately they are one of the most neglected.
I wish pet shops would display signs saying they are not suitable pets for children. Parents need to 'wise up' and do their research first.

 

[nursecroft]

I don't think you as an adult can hold a nine year old to a promise - they aren't old enough to promise something like that and an adult should know that. You're asking a child to promise to look after something day in and day out for what might longer than they've even been alive themselves at that point. I don't think they can have a concept of what that means.

The ages 9-19 are a massive learning curve. How can a nine year old understand the pressures they'll be under at 16/17 or factor in decisions about what they'll do with a rabbit if they go to university, or move out and taking responsibility for vet bills - it's not even inconceivable they could even have a child of their own at some point in the rabbit's life. A nine year old isn't going to be able to make an informed decision, that's what parents are for.

Making a child promise something a lot of adults have trouble committing to is setting yourself and them up for failure.

Ultimately as the adult you are responsible but my point is that this is how children learn about responsibility, this is the trouble with so many parents now I feel, I was 9 when I got my first rabbit and I looked after her everyday until she died at 7 years old. I had days when it was cold or raining when I didn't want to go out but I was made to! Maybe if parents made children stick to promises we'd end up with more responsible pet owners as adults.

 

[little-laura]

I would have them still be involved in the pets care even if it was little jobs

I would also have a talk on responsibility and doing the right thing not just in regards to animals but other things too

If you just took over then they would learn nothing

 

[Jbun]

Children may not understand the full concept of the promises made in wanting a pet, but they should be taught to be responsible for their care based on their age and understanding of things. A younger child may not be able to take on the full load of caring for a pet, but can certainly contribute. An older child will be capable of much more. And just because they loose interest, doesn't mean the work of caring for the pet stops. Just like they have to learn to be responsible and keep their room picked up, or help out in the home with chores, these responsibilities go on their whole lives. Most children would be glad if you let them play all of the time and get away with not having to help in the home. But that is what being a parent is about, teaching your children responsibility, including caring for the pets and animals that are a part of the family. And because the parent is the parent, ultimately the animals are their responsibility, because the child that wanted them is also their responsibility, but that doesn't absolve the child of not doing it's part.

 

[Jojo123]

I would make the child do the jobs with me and try to make it interesting and fun if they lost interest. I would not let them just ignore the pet when they asked for it in the first place and I wouldn't give the pet up. There are lots of things that children decide they don't want to do but can be made to do it, im sure there are children who don't want to go to school, refuse to do homework, to eat, to wash, clean their rooms ect but there are things in life that you have to do even if you really don't want to ( I don't want to go to work right now but the responsible side of me that was installed by my parents make me assess the consequences if I don't) and I think its important to prepare children for this. You never really get a life where there isn't someone telling you what to do and when to do it think its important to make children realise this so they become responsible but also realise that in life you cant just please yourself or you wont get very far

 

[little-laura]

I would make the child do the jobs with me and try to make it interesting and fun if they lost interest. I would not let them just ignore the pet when they asked for it in the first place and I wouldn't give the pet up. There are lots of things that children decide they don't want to do but can be made to do it, im sure there are children who don't want to go to school, refuse to do homework, to eat, to wash, clean their rooms ect but there are things in life that you have to do even if you really don't want to ( I don't want to go to work right now but the responsible side of me that was installed by my parents make me assess the consequences if I don't) and I think its important to prepare children for this. You never really get a life where there isn't someone telling you what to do and when to do it think its important to make children realise this so they become responsible but also realise that in life you cant just please yourself or you wont get very far

This and I feel it's important to teach responsibility and following through with anything you do. It's also important to teach them not to give up just because something is hard or a lot of effort.

I would explain why they need to keep looking after the pet and how it is important.

I would take over the majority of the work but will ensure they are helping me everyday.

I believe letting them just walk away or not help dsnt install the values and morals I feel are important. It would be a shame if they resented the bun for it but at the end of the day that day matter as they wanted to give them up anyway they would still get plenty of love from me and Jono and I feel the child would come around anyway

 

[jemjabella]

I'd be interesting to hear from those of you who'd make the child continue caring for an animal - how exactly you'd do that?

 

[nursecroft]

I'd be interesting to hear from those of you who'd make the child continue caring for an animal - how exactly you'd do that?

Depends on the child, I had huge respect for my mum and some fear! :lol: In my eyes a child should do what it's told! That's the way I was brought up and if I didn't I didn't get to do things I liked and that were important to me. I had to tidy my room, that was also one of my responsibilities!

 

[nursecroft]

Children may not understand the full concept of the promises made in wanting a pet, but they should be taught to be responsible for their care based on their age and understanding of things. A younger child may not be able to take on the full load of caring for a pet, but can certainly contribute. An older child will be capable of much more. And just because they loose interest, doesn't mean the work of caring for the pet stops. Just like they have to learn to be responsible and keep their room picked up, or help out in the home with chores, these responsibilities go on their whole lives. Most children would be glad if you let them play all of the time and get away with not having to help in the home. But that is what being a parent is about, teaching your children responsibility, including caring for the pets and animals that are a part of the family. And because the parent is the parent, ultimately the animals are their responsibility, because the child that wanted them is also their responsibility, but that doesn't absolve the child of not doing it's part.

Completely agree :thumb:

 

[Alibunmum]

I'd be interesting to hear from those of you who'd make the child continue caring for an animal - how exactly you'd do that?

See my post above!

 

[bunniemum]

My parents always made me look after my pets, and I agree that it made me a better pet owner. Because I know that I need to do it. And I always did because otherwise nobody did. Now I love the time looking after the animals, it's one of my favourite times.

We had guinea pigs as children, and Mum or Dad used to send me and my sister out in all weathers to feed and clean them out - there was no question or protest we knew we had to do it, and yes it has most definately made us both better animal carers as adults.

 

[bunkin]

i think any parent should understand that if they bring or allow an animal into the household, it is their responsibility. children might be encouraged to care for animals properly but ultimately, the care of the child and the care of the child's animals rests with the parent as the responsible adult in the scenario.

Totally agree with this. This situation is exactly how I came to rescue my bunnies, sadly only one stll alive. My next door neighbour had got them for her daughter who lost interest and they were left in their far too small hutch all the time with barely a 10 second visit a day to top up food an water. No hay, bedding or fresh greens. After seeing this treatment for a year that was tearing me apart I offered to rehome them and they agreed thankfully.

 

[Hele]

I'd be interesting to hear from those of you who'd make the child continue caring for an animal - how exactly you'd do that?

Mum just told me to go and clean/feed said animal at the appropriate times. Arguing with her would not have ended well :shock: so I just did it.

At one point mum was furious with me as I'd not been doing it properly (basic clean out but not thorough) and I ended up with a checklist on the fridge of what I had to do every day... And I had to get a parent to check my work and sign to say I had done it properly every day for a month!

I'm not saying parent shouldn't help ect but if a child is allowed to get bored and simply stop doing something they are responsible for then I think that is a pretty rubbish life lesson.

As I grew up we had family pets, that I wasn't responsible for. My first pet that was 'mine' was a hamster, a two year lifespan and I wasn't given the option to get bored so I didn't. (She was a wonderful hammie and lived till over 4!) I got Nibbles when I was 10 and it was agreed that if he was to be 'my' rabbit then I had to do the bulk of the care... And I did, not always willingly but I was reminded that he was my rabbit and if I didn't care for him properly he would suffer and did I want that? Personally I think that was one of the greatest life lessons my parents taught me and wouldn't forgive myself if I let my (future) kids treat animals as disposable.

 

[tabithakat64]

As a child from about age 8 upwards I always cared for my own pets, we had rabbits, guineapigs, fish and later a dog. My dad would help out if we were ill.

We're getting three rescue bunnies partially because my stepson wants one, but he doesn't live with us full-time so I know Mike and I will end caring for them. The paln is Dairyn will look after them when he's with us. Both children already willing help out with the horses regardless of the weather and put up with my temperamental cat so I don't see it being an issue.