Fight for dominance

Hi everyone,

I am back looking for more advice!

I am still struggling with bonding my rabbits Lennie (female) and Nelson (male).

We had made some progress recently with Nelson grooming Lennie and the fighting had stopped (apart from a few nips here and there).

Unfortunately we have now had several bad fights which were started by Lennie and since then Nelson has become aggressive again.

When they are together and met each other they both put their heads down (I assume waiting to be groomed) and there is a face off as they wait for each other to groom. If neither of them starts grooming then they will nip and a fight starts.

In the past it looked like Lennie would be the dominant one but Nelson now seems to be trying to be dominant too.

Could it be that they will never bond because of this?

Are both neutered?

Yes - they are both neutered and we have been bonding them in neutral places and fights have still broke out.

Are you using a small space to bond them? And are you using the dating method or keeping them together if you can?

They have separate cages but are next to each other in our spare room.

We have done dates in various places (the bathroom, garden etc) and often take them to my parents garden. When they are together they are never in particularly large spaces and are very neutral but our success at bonding has been mixed. More often than not it ended in a fight normally started by Nelson because (it seemed) he didn't want to groom Lennie. We have been doing these dates since around the start of May.

They were in boarding last week as we were on holiday and we asked for them to be kept separate but to be next to each other when they were in the play pens during the day.
Before we picked them up we re-arranged the spare room, neutralised it and when they arrived home it seemed to have a really positive impact. Nelson was grooming Lennie a fair bit and they would sit down and sleep next to each other but were still put in separate cages after the dates.
Nelson never seemed fully comfortable with the grooming though and Lennie can be very persistent in trying to get what she wants. Since coming home it seemed like the tables had turned as it was now Lennie giving Nelson a nip if she wasn't getting what she wanted and Nelson had seemed to have calmed down a bit.

However a couple of nights ago they had a massive fight and since then we seem to be back to square one (chasing, nipping and fighting). The fights can be very vicious - sometimes when we try and pick one of them up the other is literally hanging on to them.

It seems to me like they both want to be groomed by each other (and Nelson is the only one of them to actually do it) but he now seems to be standing his ground hence we have these face off situations where they are head to head on the floor waiting. Early this evening Lennie was sat down and he went up to her and started to dig on her back! Is that normal bonding behaviour?!

I have posted a little video that illustrates how temperamental the bonding sessions have been in the past (Nelson is on the left and Lennie on the right).

My worry is that they will never get on. We got Nelson from a rescue home and were told he was handed in as the previous owner couldn't cope with the fighting with his other rabbit and I fear we are going down the same path. Nelson was and still is very nervous but I have forged quite a good bond with him and he is slowly starting to trust me. Lennie on the other hand is very affectionate and loves a fuss.

Is there really such a thing as a rabbit that can't be bonded?

Sorry for the essay and thank you in advance for any help you can give.

It's very very uncommon for rabbits not to bond at all, but sometimes two individuals just don't match up.

The digging you describe sounds like trying to get a reaction eg 'you should be grooming me' or 'you should have moved out of my way' - it's not uncommon.

In the video it looks like the bun that bites is miffed at the other rabbit moving - although it's less common that they'd go from happily grooming to a nip is such short space of time, with not really anything inciting on the other buns behaviour.

There are two things you could try... one set aside 48hrs when you've got some time and go for it. If you've got a room great - remove both cages, no food except hay and supervise them closely. Sometimes 'dates' can make things more tricky as you have to go over old steps each time the meet. Doing it like that should give them the time and space to work it out. Another thing you could try is faking the grooming. If you see them ask - provide the strokes - most bunnies assume the other bun is doing it and don't realise it's you :lol:

Other option is to find someone eg a rescue that can help you out and they go on a little holiday to neutral territory with someone experienced and hopefully come home friends.