We lost our dearest little man Kenco today. My OH went outside to feed him this morning with his morning pellets, and he came rushing in the house, I knew something was wrong. He said he didnt have long and to go straight out to him, which I did, while telling him to ring the vets and get his carrier.
When I got outside he was in the corner, his front legs were splayed outwards and his head was on the floor, I could tell he was in a bad way. My instinct was to scoop him up and hold him close to warm him up and comfort him and I came straight in the house with him, telling him he was safe, his mummy was here, that I loved him and it would be ok. I sat down on the sofa with him in my arms, and kissed him and told him it was ok. My OH was on the phone to the vets by this point. He became uncomfortable so I tried to change his position to make him feel more secure, he was so limp and floppy.
But he needed to get out of my arms and wriggled and struggled, so I put him on the sofa and moved down on the floor, trying to hold him, when he started screaming and throwing his head back in some distress. He was mouth-breathing, his mouth was open wide and he seemed to sort of fit, I am not sure if it was a fit or just him passing, I don't know but it was very distressing and if I could have ended his suffering in that moment I would have done. My OH was panicking on the phone to the receptionist at the vets asking "what can we do? what can we do?", and I was screaming because I was panicking. He did 3 or 4 big screams and then I could sense he was slipping away and his breathing became laboured and slowed. And then I just stroked him and saying "oh Kenco, Kenco".
I tried to give him mouth to mouth but I knew it was futile and he was going. In fact he might already have gone, it was all a bit of a blur. He did a couple of short breaths, with long pauses in between, and then there was no more Kenco. He had gone across to the Bridge and was limp and floppy.
Mine and Colin's hearts are broken in to a thousand pieces, because we love Kenco so so so so much. I'm in such a spin.
We spent some time just holding him ourselves, before we took him back outside to Buttercup for her to spend some time with him but she didn't really seem interested and I suspect she already knew something was wrong before he passed away.
I am glad that Kenco waited for us to comfort him in his final few minutes and I hope he knew as soon as he was in my arms that he was with his mummy and could smell me. He felt like such a little bag of bones.
We then brought him inside and spent 2 hours with him ourselves. We've just taken him to our vets to look after him while we make arrangements for him.
I can't bear that I will never see his fluffy tummy and his helicopter ears again.
Now reunited with his beloved first wifey Miss Fay at the Bridge and I hope you will be at peace there Kenco, with lots of nasturtiums and mint, your all time favourites!
I will do a proper tribute in Rainbow Bridge when we are up to it.