Help please, nightmare bonding!

[Toast&Marmalade]

Hi,

Some of you will remember I lost my beautiful boy bunn Toastie at the end of August, leaving his little wife and I bereft (understatement ). Another neutered male rabbit came into the rescue centre I help and he sounded perfect. (I wasn't ready at all for another rabbit, but Marmalade needed a new friend.) Anyway, to cut a long story short, he managed to attack her one night and it was carnage! I felt sick when I saw her and it all. He went back immediately (and has since been bonded with another female who he loved straight away!).

I had to let Marmalade recover physically and mentally of course .

I decided to try again with a younger, neutered male (who was the same size this time) and seemed very sociable. Marmalade, having recovered from her ordeal, was starting to not eat properly, her poos were getting smaller and she seemed depressed. I brought him home and Marmalade hated him immediately (not surprisingly ) . I resurrected the barrier in the shed (and modified it!) but that didn't work very well as he hated being shut in the shed (even though he was getting plenty of time loose in the garden and all day in an 8 x 3ft run next to her run) and kept making lots of noise digging and scrapping at the wire, frightening Marmalade. So I bought an 8ft coop for him to put next to her run so they could still be near each other. (Incidently he hates being shut in that too, so has masses of time loose in the garden - he keeps digging at the wire and floor etc.) After 10 days I decided to try them in the kitchen as they seemed to be a lot better (famous last words!!), and seemed frustrated at not being able to touch each other. Disaster!! They had a scrap which I had to stop, they came together again for a mini scrap, rested, and then somehow they were sharing the same pile of parsley.......they separated and both went to lay down and my hopes soared. However, he just went up to her and bit her side, another fight took place. They then rested and I was getting ready to take them outside and he went and bit her again and another battle was had.

So they have been separate again ...........

Tonight I thought I'd try them again (after another 2 weeks) this time in the conservatory, but no they scrapped much quicker and this time it was instigated by her. I tried not to intervene but I had to. Then they rested again, he kept his distance....but then couldn't resist going up to her very gently (it looked non-aggressive to me) but then they started leaping at each other (like they were bouncing off each other!) and then she got hold of his foot and I had to separate them again.

In people's experience do attempted bondings that go like this ever work please? I am so upset still about Toastie and feel exhausted with it all. I so want it to work, and can't bear the thought of taking him back, but keeping them separate forever is not really an option (and not why I got him, bless him).

Thanks in advance,
Jo
x

 

[tonibun]

Was the Conservatory a neutral area? It is very difficult sometimes to bond a bereaved rabbit - they just don't want to accept another bunny. Maybe it's too soon after she lost Toastie and she needs more time. We just can't know how they are feeling can we. I would be inclined to let some time go by and tty again.

 

[Vanessa.B]

Bunny bonding - why oh why can it be so stressful. I can understand your exhaustion and also not wanting to take your boy back. I have been there.

Fighting almost immediately is not a particularly good sign. Did you try them in a small space/cage within the kitchen and conservatory - too much space can trigger fighting. All is not lost but I would maybe give them longer before trying again.

I am a great believer in the Bach flower remedies, there is some info here. I have used some of these when boding in the past.

http://bananasforbunnies.org/?page_id=255

You could also try using Pet Remedy

http://www.petremedy.co.uk

I really hope that you are able to work things out x

 

[MightyMax]

Hi,

Some of you will remember I lost my beautiful boy bunn Toastie at the end of August, leaving his little wife and I bereft (understatement ). Another neutered male rabbit came into the rescue centre I help and he sounded perfect. (I wasn't ready at all for another rabbit, but Marmalade needed a new friend.) Anyway, to cut a long story short, he managed to attack her one night and it was carnage! I felt sick when I saw her and it all. He went back immediately (and has since been bonded with another female who he loved straight away!).

I had to let Marmalade recover physically and mentally of course .

I decided to try again with a younger, neutered male (who was the same size this time) and seemed very sociable. Marmalade, having recovered from her ordeal, was starting to not eat properly, her poos were getting smaller and she seemed depressed. I brought him home and Marmalade hated him immediately (not surprisingly ) . I resurrected the barrier in the shed (and modified it!) but that didn't work very well as he hated being shut in the shed (even though he was getting plenty of time loose in the garden and all day in an 8 x 3ft run next to her run) and kept making lots of noise digging and scrapping at the wire, frightening Marmalade. So I bought an 8ft coop for him to put next to her run so they could still be near each other. (Incidently he hates being shut in that too, so has masses of time loose in the garden - he keeps digging at the wire and floor etc.) After 10 days I decided to try them in the kitchen as they seemed to be a lot better (famous last words!!), and seemed frustrated at not being able to touch each other. Disaster!! They had a scrap which I had to stop, they came together again for a mini scrap, rested, and then somehow they were sharing the same pile of parsley.......they separated and both went to lay down and my hopes soared. However, he just went up to her and bit her side, another fight took place. They then rested and I was getting ready to take them outside and he went and bit her again and another battle was had.

So they have been separate again ...........

Tonight I thought I'd try them again (after another 2 weeks) this time in the conservatory, but no they scrapped much quicker and this time it was instigated by her. I tried not to intervene but I had to. Then they rested again, he kept his distance....but then couldn't resist going up to her very gently (it looked non-aggressive to me) but then they started leaping at each other (like they were bouncing off each other!) and then she got hold of his foot and I had to separate them again.

In people's experience do attempted bondings that go like this ever work please? I am so upset still about Toastie and feel exhausted with it all. I so want it to work, and can't bear the thought of taking him back, but keeping them separate forever is not really an option (and not why I got him, bless him).

Thanks in advance,
Jo
x

Just read through your post, and do you know what Jo, I really feel you would benefit from having someone else do the bonding, and doing it elsewhere (not at your home).

It sounds like it's wearing you to a frazzle, and having bonded hundreds of bunnies (the last ones only a couple of weeks ago) I honestly think that the vibes from the 'bonder' are really important. You are trying so hard, but you'd have to be a martyr not to let the strain show in your vibes.

Is there anyone impartial you can pass this job over to?

I really feel for you. You're trying your best for Marmalade, and the poor girl is getting more and more stressed ...

Huge hugs to you xxx