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Fizz- April 2010- 10th January 2011- Post 55, final resting place

Sky-O

Wise Old Thumper
Dearest Fizz,

I’m sorry I didn’t do this on Monday, or yesterday, but I wasn’t sure it was my place. As no one else has done one, I’m making it my place, because you deserve one.

What to say little man.

Way back when in June last year you and your scruffy bunch of siblings came to me, more by accident (or fate as Kris said), than by design. You got your first name- Gizmo- because Kris’s mum reckoned you looked like Gizmo from The Gremlins, and she was weirdly right with that. You were a bundle of fluff.

You all looked horrendous. You all have sparse fur and bald bits (none of you looked as bad as Wish though), but yet you were all so nice! I’ve never known such a bunch of licky bunnies before. At this point though, I expected not just Wish to die, but to lose you all. You had all had such a horrid start to life and had suffered so much, with losing your mum, dad or mum giving you a rough time (that would explain your bald patches), some 4 week younger siblings, then going to a strange place (Kris’s- no offence Kris), and then travelling an hour to yet another strange place (mine). You were all VERY hardy.

I could tell you apart, and Socks and Wish, but Flame and Flare I couldn’t for a couple of days until their personalities came out. You were very ‘in your face’ (although not as much as Socksy boy).

This is you with Socksy boy on the second day you were here. Look at those ears!

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You started to grow and you got an awesome ear. Your right one lopped, and your left one stood up like a proper uppy eared bunny. Funnily enough, we saw it do this a couple of times in the 24 hours you were here before you died.

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We had such a lovely time with you all here. I remember you sitting for ages and licking my dad’s feet (or generally just licking everything and everyone)…

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or running and doing mega binkies everywhere, jumping out of the run with Flame…

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But, above everything else, you were very nosey.

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You were a real people bunny (like your siblings) and so always wanted to be ‘in the people action’ and were interested in whatever we were doing (or whatever we didn’t want you to do).

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While you were here we checked and checked and you were a girl, so you were separated off with Flame and Wish.

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You grew and you changed and then you went to your new home. I was sad you had gone, but felt you had gone to a good home.

When you went in for your ‘spay’ it became clear you were a boy, although you weren’t formed properly. By that time we knew more of the problems of your litter mates (Socks and his undescended testicles), Flame being a hermaphrodite, Wish and her Metabolic and severe dental issues. The only one who escaped was Flare (who was renamed Hazel). We all thought it was a bit weird, and that you were complicated, but then horror struck and Hazel died, unexpectedly, at only 5 months old. Things became more serious and sinister because it looks like potentially there may be more problems than ‘just’ be anatomically deformed and ‘problematical’.

All the people that needed to know were made aware, and then we carried on.
 
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When your owner contacted me in November, I was SO excited to potentially have you back for a while, and when you finally came on Sunday 9th January, I walked on Cloud 9. I was so, SO happy to see you. You were so big! Both compared to when you left me, and compared to your siblings, I just wanted to kiss you and cuddle you all the time. I didn’t want to put you down.

I got to know you again as an adult on 8-9 months old and you was awesome. Still chilled, still into everything, and you had a sense of humour too. I really felt you had come home. You were finally in the right place (in my eyes).

On the Sunday, when you came in for a run, you were so funny. You seemed to remember the layout and where all the escape points were, it was astonishing. You went round the room, anti clockwise investigating all the different things. You then went back and started from the beginning, but went round a little bit faster. You kept getting faster and faster and had so much energy and life.

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The next day you were more haphazard and more intent on the escape points (which you did succeed in doing).

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No inkling to a new owner there was something wrong, but maybe your old owner might have picked something up. There were things that I did note like your variety of different shaped poo overnight (but then when you came inside on the Monday you produced some beautiful, all equal, poo) and you didn’t eat all your breakfast in one sitting, but then when my bunnies get Science Selective in those amounts, they leave stuff too. Maybe those were signs and I missed them, but you seemed very ‘in line’ with Wish and Flame.

When I went back out at 6pm you were so ill. You were limp and I was terrified. We rushed to the vets and you went into their Incubator. It was warm and you had oxygen pumped in. You were still pretty limp, but wriggling out from under your towels and blankets. I sat with you and talked to you, sometimes I sat in silence, but I always stroked you.

I could tell you were struggling more because you were pulling your head away from my hands into a weird position and then shoving it back under. I think you were trying to find a way to comfortably breathe. You did find comfort in my hand though, I know that. To keep coming towards me, nuzzling me, moving towards me and not moving away shows that you found comfort. I was able to keep you calm and offer you peace. I sat with you for an hour and a bit and then the on call vet arrived.

She gave you a good check over and told me that despite all the oxygen you were blue, and there was so much wrong, but she couldn’t find a reason why. She said that all your organs were failing and there was nothing she could do. I asked a gazillion questions, actually, the same question, in many different ways ‘is there really nothing you can do?’ She suggested that it would be fairer for you to be Put To Sleep, so I could only follow her advice. I wasn’t going to let you suffer. I was there, holding you, until the end. You were peaceful.

Sadly, the next thing I had to do was horrendous. I needed to know what happened to you, so had to get a post mortem done on your body. Worse yet, we didn’t have space in our garden for you. I took you to the vets for them to do the post mortem and as much as I wanted you cremated, and to bring you home, I couldn’t afford that. I asked for a communal cremation because that’s all I could afford, and I’m so sorry, because I so wanted you to be here with me, with us. I hate to think of you somewhere else, thinking you’re uncared for, been abandoned, maybe with other animals who were genuinely unloved.

The basic results have come back to show you went into spontaneous heart failure. None of us could have done anything. None of us were at fault. It doesn’t feel like that though Fizz. I feel like I failed you, and now I’ve abandoned you in death. I should have seen something, I should have checked sooner. All those ‘should’s’ that I didn’t do.

I don’t know why this happened sweet boy. You came to me, and dropped dead a day later. I don’t know if you waited until you got here, I don’t know if it was unlucky, I don’t know if it was stress.

Kris said some lovely things on the night you died. I don’t think its appropriate to put some of them here, but I can say that I too believe it may be fate you call came my way, and maybe fate that you came to me to die.

I feel privileged Fizz. Privileged I got to know you as a baby and privileged I got the chance to know you as an adult.

Thank you so much for being in my life.

Binky Free Beautiful Fizz

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April 2010- 10th January 2011

All my love,

Tracy
 
That was a beautiful tribute :cry:

I rarely come in Rainbow Bridge, but felt I owed it to Fizz to post.

I believe you meant to him, as much as he meant to you, you can tell that in his pictures. He was so happy with you, and no one can take that, or the memories you have, away.

Binky free beautiful x
 
Very rarely do i sit and cry after just reading something.

I can offically tell you im sat in here bits, with a fluffy hankerchief called Ginger in my arms, sat showing her the pictures of her brother, even though i know she can't know whats going on.

Bless you Fizz, and i hope the place you are in now is lush and green, with plenty of space to explore in the typical nature we've come to see of you.

You've given so much love in the short time you've been with both Tracy and your new friends, im just so sorry you weren't around longer to have given even more and more importantly, to have been shown more as you grew.

You'll be sincerely missed by everyone who ever knew you, i was not included in that, but feel, through Tracys words and pictures, that you were a part of an ever evolving story.

Binky free little one, find Flare/Hazel and enjoy some crazy flops. Make sure that mane gets groomed!

Take care little one, in our thoughts.

Gray
 
That is truely beautiful.

Fizz was a really special bunny.

So sorry he had to leave you so soon.

Binky Free Gorgeous Fizz xx
 
a beautiful and touching tribute for such a special boy:(

he came home to where he belonged to spend his last days with you. there's a special connection there that i can hear in your words and see in your pictures.

sleep tight fizz xxx
 
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your tribute is a wonderful piece straight from the heart. I empathise with you totally as I've just lost my girl Hoppy in a similar way. I can't tell you how sad I am reading this, crying my eyes out. My wishes are with you and Fizz will be binkying in those lush meadows over the bridge. Take care xx :cry::cry::cry:
 
Yes, another one crying here, I can hardly see the keyboard.

So sorry for your loss.

God bless little one, you were so beautiful :love::love:
 
Dearest Fizz,find your brother Hazel/Flare and binky in the sunsets together, you were both special rabbits who were loved, just wish we could have had you here with us longer.
Thank you Tracy for giving so much to this special litter,all with different needs and personalities but equally beautiful.
I am in tears writing this and know that many tears have and will be shed by others who have known you and Fizz.
The photos here show how Fizz enjoyed being with you and had many happy times just wish he could of had many more of them.
Miss you Hazel everyday,be with your brother Fizz now.
 
I am so so sorry :cry:

This beautiful amazing boy came back to you to die because you were his home. There is no doubt from the pics how happy and content he was in the days before he died. You were with him until the end just as he wanted :love:

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what a lovely tribute. i have tears streaming down my face at the moment. what a special bunny and what a special person. fizz will be with you in spirit all the time no matter where fizz is cremated/buried. you did your best and must always think that. please take comfort in that the last hours fizz came home to be with someone special.xx
 
What a lovely tribute to the special lad.

Dont think for one secound that you failed him in death, at the end of the day he was loved whilst he was alived and will remain loved, he knows that and you know that deep down. What happens to his body after he has passed is matterless. His spirt will live on as long as you let it.
I hope that doesnt sound too harsh

Take care
 
Another one crying here. :cry: I'm so sorry Sky-O :cry: Please don't think you failed him, he wouldn't want you to think that cos it's not true at all.

RIP little Fizzley one. :cry:
 
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