I think I'm losing him

I am sorry that I sound so stubborn...asking for advice and then seeming to ignore it. I most definitely am not ignoring it. I really just need as much reassurance as I can get that letting him go is the right thing to do. I've considered getting a second opinion and thought I may hate myself if I didn't. But no opinion is going to change the severity or the location of the problem.
I've never lost an animal that I have been as close to as Mills. I feel like my heart is being torn from my chest, it hurts to breathe and I can't stop crying. I can't recall ever feeling pain like this. I don't know why, but I try to imagine what it's going to be like when we make the last trip to the vet. I had to have another foster bun PTS once before and even though I'd only had her less than a day, watching her life drain and her light go out was excrutiating. I don't know how I will get through this. I can stop sobbing. He's my heart.

I can only encourage you to look deeply into Mills' eyes, they will provide you with the answers you seek. Although our bunnies are genetically programmed to conceal much from us in the way of their health in particular, their eyes can betray the true extent of any suffering. They will give you indication of pain, but most importantly, they will tell you how Mills is coping emotionally.

When we develop a very close bond with any of our pets we tend to presume it will go on forever. We become too bound up in our love for them to envisage a circumstance when that bond can be broken. It is then true love is really tested. Do we love them enough to end their suffering by letting them go; or do we love them too much and become blinded by this love to hold on against the odds, causing them to endure more suffering because we don't think we can cope with the pain of losing them. It is often said on this forum that allowing our bunnies release from suffering is an unselfish act and it is true. It may be easier on us to let nature determine when the time is right, but it would be doing them a great disservice by allowing them to linger on in pain and discomfort when it is within our power to help them pass with peace and dignity.

Ultimately, it is only the carer who can make the final decision, for it is only they who have the means to interpret the signals their bunny is sending.

I wish you well at what ever decision you and Mills arrive.

Oh my i was crying reading this post i agree with Jacks Jane i would not put the bun through that kind of surgery the possibility of losing after would be high so you have put the bunny and you through that for nothing but on the other hand you will feel you tried i honestly feel for you, if he is binkying, eating and pooping and enjoying your cuddles i would continue with his life as it is with strong painkillers and other meds available to make it more comfortable even though he may be biting it is there something you could get that could numb the pain for a long period of time ask the vet, i can only assume its strong painkillers on a daily basis what an awful situation to be in i would be heartbroken if any of mine with in that situation its so hard sometimes to know what is best but i think let him live his life as comfortable as possible, is there no chance that these abcesses will not go with long term antibiotics? surely there must be some medication to kill it, my mum was in similar situtaion with one of her pedigree cats she had a tumour above her jaw inside on her face she basically has it de-bulked every 6 months to reduce it otherwise it grows bigger and stops her eating but cats are more resilient to ops than buns she was i same situation deciding what is best she decided to let her live her life as comfortable as possible with painkillers daily but with your bunny i doubt they could de-bulk without major surgery and GA as in local A.

all i want to say is we are thinking of you and when you make that decision you will know in your heart your doing the right thing i am sure you know your bun more than anyone and how he is coping if he seems happy keep him comfortable how old is your bun?

x

The fact that bunnies can't live without constantly eating and pooing makes them more delicate when it comes to surgery. A cat or a dog can go without food for a few days and be put on a drip instead, so it's very different for buns. Unfortunately, any sort of surgery on this abscess will have the same risk of suffering and death, even if it is just to reduce and control it better.
Right now the only pain meds he is getting is .04ml of Metacam every 24 hours. We are seeing the vet tomorrow and I will ask about something stronger.
Mills seems to feel better this evening. He ate almost all his veggies after I diced them up for him. He also ate a serving of Critical Care along with his herbals meds, antibiotics and pain meds.
I'm trying so hard to read his eyes. I can see them getting duller, but can't understand why he is so normal-acting otherwise. I know the fact that he is a prey animal can explain why, but....I don't know. He still charges to me and races around my feet when I bring foods that he likes. The other day he wasn't eating well at all and that frightened me badly. Now he has his appetite back, just not quite where it used to be.
Oh, and I don't know how old he is. He was found in a dumpster outside of town last winter nearly frozen to death. I'm still surprised he has his ears.

Last night, Mills did the BIGGEST BINKIES I have ever seen him do - and he has done some BIG binkies!!!!
I'm taking him and Dolly to the vet today for their weekly penicillin shots and I think his lump may actually feel bigger. I hope I'm wrong. He's eating Timothy Hay and gaining weight.
I will update again later!

I'm sat here with my eyes leaking..... I certainly didn't expect the twist. Absolutely humungous well done you! The gorgeous Mills is very, very lucky to have found such a devoted carer and I know you will both really cherish the time you have left together.

luvabun said:

I'm sat here with my eyes leaking..... I certainly didn't expect the twist. Absolutely humungous well done you! The gorgeous Mills is very, very lucky to have found such a devoted carer and I know you will both really cherish the time you have left together.

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I'm exactly the same as this, I really couldn't be more pleased for you and Mills love and hugs to you both

The vet is still amazed! He's doing great and is still putting some weight on! We're still staying on the penicillin shots once a week. It's just too risky to even think of going off them right now.
I LOVE my MIRACLE BUNNY and I LOVE RU!

LloydFerris said:

The vet is still amazed! He's doing great and is still putting some weight on! We're still staying on the penicillin shots once a week. It's just too risky to even think of going off them right now.
I LOVE my MIRACLE BUNNY and I LOVE RU!

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Fabulous news !!!

I forgot to mention that Mills' vet suggested reducing the Metacam back to a normal dose as opposed to the 'palliative' double dose he had been getting. That was a week and half ago and he's been dong even better since then.
Something else I forgot to mention that is off topic - some of you inquired about my son who was in the hospital last month and I just wanted to say that he is home and is also very well indeed!

LloydFerris said:

I forgot to mention that Mills' vet suggested reducing the Metacam back to a normal dose as opposed to the 'palliative' double dose he had been getting. That was a week and half ago and he's been dong even better since then.
Something else I forgot to mention that is off topic - some of you inquired about my son who was in the hospital last month and I just wanted to say that he is home and is also very well indeed!

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The news gets better and better

:wave:

LloydFerris said:

I forgot to mention that Mills' vet suggested reducing the Metacam back to a normal dose as opposed to the 'palliative' double dose he had been getting. That was a week and half ago and he's been dong even better since then.
Something else I forgot to mention that is off topic - some of you inquired about my son who was in the hospital last month and I just wanted to say that he is home and is also very well indeed!

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Fantastic news for both Mills and your son!!! So pleased for you! XXX

I don't know how but I missed this thread originally so have just read through it all now. What a roller coaster! Holding my breath and wiping away tears but it is plain to see that this little bun is a fighter and has an excellent ally on his side.

You have had a lot to deal with with your son in hospital too.

I hope the news remains good and that you have some great quality time together - it certainly seems that Mills is enjoying life at the moment and as for miracles.... yes they do happen... even being given this extra time with Mills must prove that.

Good luck x

Still making miracles!

We're off to our weekly vet visit today, but Mills has continued to do fantastic! He's still binky mad! What else can I say? So happy and so thankful!!!

LloydFerris said:

We're off to our weekly vet visit today, but Mills has continued to do fantastic! He's still binky mad! What else can I say? So happy and so thankful!!!

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Dont eat the Vet Mills !! :lol:

So pleased to read that he's doing so well.

Keep binkying Mills!

Brilliant! Well done Mills (and you too Lloydferris)

So glad he's still doing well Keep fighting Mills! xx

Great news - keep it up Mills xx

So so pleased for you, Mills is a little miracle bunny