I lost my lovely James 5 years ago to flystrike, and of course I still think about him all the time, he was a very special bun.
I can't help but blame myself for him passing away, all those 'what if' questions and it does get me upset at times. But yesterday (I am cabin crew) I was on the coach to a hotel with the crew, 40 minute journey, was just listening to music and looking out the window (like always) and was thinking about James but it got me really upset and I was missing him so much I started really crying... and I NEVER EVER cry in public!! :shock:
I don't want to forget James, I REALLY don't, I just don't want to feel so awful when I think about him sometimes. I'd do anything to have him back I mean it's been FIVE YEARS now and I have 4 perfect little fluffballs now who I love so much. But surely it's not right to still be feeling like this after 5 years?! How do I only remember the good times and get rid of the feelings of guilt and pain? It seems to be getting worse recently, not better
Sorry for the long post, but I don't know anybody else who will understand.
I can't help but blame myself for him passing away, all those 'what if' questions and it does get me upset at times. But yesterday (I am cabin crew) I was on the coach to a hotel with the crew, 40 minute journey, was just listening to music and looking out the window (like always) and was thinking about James but it got me really upset and I was missing him so much I started really crying... and I NEVER EVER cry in public!! :shock:
I don't want to forget James, I REALLY don't, I just don't want to feel so awful when I think about him sometimes. I'd do anything to have him back I mean it's been FIVE YEARS now and I have 4 perfect little fluffballs now who I love so much. But surely it's not right to still be feeling like this after 5 years?! How do I only remember the good times and get rid of the feelings of guilt and pain? It seems to be getting worse recently, not better
Sorry for the long post, but I don't know anybody else who will understand.