Help needed! Need to send some buns on 'holiday' U/D ARGH!!

@Debs111 · Nov 24, 2006

OMG Just read through all this and I cant believe your Dad!!!!

I think right now the best thing you could do is to foster out 4 bunnies, rent a place that will let you take 2 house bunnies until you can sort yourself out. You need your Dad otu of your life otherwiswe he'll keep controlling it!

Azraelm · Nov 24, 2006

I had a friend whose Dad used to check her bank statements when she was 23 and working. She was ok with it :shock:

i dont think he's got a right to ask to see your bank statements....BUT...has he got a point about you being able to afford everything? You've just mentioned about bills etc...can you realistically afford the 6 buns?

(Sorry, Im not trying to upset you and I know you've just got the new job but just kind of playing devils adovocate here.)

Ive never got on with my Dad as he was a very bad one basically!, so I do really sympathise xx

woodstock · Nov 24, 2006

Get yourself a new roomy!

We have a lodger atm, and tbh I was soo surprised at the amount of people needing accomodation when i put the ad up i was inundated:

good websites:
www.spareroom.co.uk
www.flatmateworld.co.uk

Google for it - watch out though - some of them give you limited functionality unless you pay - much better to find one that is free for you to list, and free for the people searching to use too

Alternatively stick an ad up at Uni

kaskaskia · Nov 24, 2006

Aww Emma I know he's your Dad but I don't think he has a right to demand to see your bank statements - you're an adult now and he NEEDS to trust you to be sensible with your money. If you make financial mistakes then you will have to find a way to solve it... it's all part of becoming an adult, and learning to stand on your own two feet, and make your own decisions, consequences etc.
Don't worry I'm sure you'll be ok xxx

cherylwares · Nov 24, 2006

If you don't mind me asking, what were the original conditions for you staying at the house ie were you meant to find house sharers to help with the bills? Why did your dad but the house for you to live in if he is going to threaten to sell it if he doesn't get his own way? Did you go to that uni because of the house being available?

(Sorry now I'm being nosey

- it's just it doesn't seem to be very fair on you)

xEMMAx · Nov 24, 2006

Bundle said:
Oh no! I really thought you might have sorted him out :roll: did you show him all the stuff people said on here?

YEP! :roll: But I think that's what made him think it was ok for me to drop out of uni

So THANK YOU everyone!!

xEMMAx · Nov 24, 2006

@Debs111 said:
OMG Just read through all this and I cant believe your Dad!!!!

I think right now the best thing you could do is to foster out 4 bunnies, rent a place that will let you take 2 house bunnies until you can sort yourself out. You need your Dad otu of your life otherwiswe he'll keep controlling it!

Think is I can't afford to rent somewhere out at the moment as I'm only part time at Comet and I reeeeeeeeeeally like this house

But thankfully Angie (Angie65) has said she can foster W&W for a while

So that's 2 sorted. And I have a boarding place down the road from me who have a spare place for Teddy until January so that's got me down to 3 buns

(Still trying to convince him that Teddy needs to stay here :roll: )

xEMMAx · Nov 24, 2006

mandy said:
I had a friend whose Dad used to check her bank statements when she was 23 and working. She was ok with it :shock:

i dont think he's got a right to ask to see your bank statements....BUT...has he got a point about you being able to afford everything? You've just mentioned about bills etc...can you realistically afford the 6 buns?

(Sorry, Im not trying to upset you and I know you've just got the new job but just kind of playing devils adovocate here.)

Ive never got on with my Dad as he was a very bad one basically!, so I do really sympathise xx

Omg!! :shock: I hate people looking at what I've been spending :lol:
I CAN afford the 6 buns now I have a job

Have been living off my student loan and it's JUST ran out (job came just in time!!)

I know, don't worry you're not upsetting me... I understand what you're saying

xEMMAx · Nov 24, 2006

woodstock said:
Get yourself a new roomy!

We have a lodger atm, and tbh I was soo surprised at the amount of people needing accomodation when i put the ad up i was inundated:

good websites:
www.spareroom.co.uk
www.flatmateworld.co.uk

Google for it - watch out though - some of them give you limited functionality unless you pay - much better to find one that is free for you to list, and free for the people searching to use too

Alternatively stick an ad up at Uni

Already looking for someone to rent out my spare room! Signed up to flatmateworld (and payed :roll: ) but only getting some strange people and all the good ones say it's too far away... only 2 miles from the city centre, lazy b****rs :roll: :roll:

What did you say in your ad? Maybe I'm not wording mine right or something :?

Will check out that other link, thanks :thumb:

xEMMAx · Nov 24, 2006

kaskaskia said:
Aww Emma I know he's your Dad but I don't think he has a right to demand to see your bank statements - you're an adult now and he NEEDS to trust you to be sensible with your money. If you make financial mistakes then you will have to find a way to solve it... it's all part of becoming an adult, and learning to stand on your own two feet, and make your own decisions, consequences etc.
Don't worry I'm sure you'll be ok xxx

I know, I tried explaining that but he won't listen!

He just thinks I'll be silly with my money :roll:

Thanks

xEMMAx · Nov 24, 2006

cherylwares said:
If you don't mind me asking, what were the original conditions for you staying at the house ie were you meant to find house sharers to help with the bills? Why did your dad but the house for you to live in if he is going to threaten to sell it if he doesn't get his own way? Did you go to that uni because of the house being available?

(Sorry now I'm being nosey - it's just it doesn't seem to be very fair on you)

Welllll... both my parents live out the country so when we sold the family house and mum left for Greece I needed a house to store everything from the old house (because a room in uni accommodation would not be big enough at all!) So dad bought the house basically for storage of everything (and so I could keep my buns).

Yes I am supposed to have a renter (did have but she moved out because it was too far from uni for her) and it's quite difficult finding someone else at the moment... dunno why, maybe people don't want to move so close to xmnas?? Or they didn't like the idea of sharing a house with an 18 year old student... I've now changed that to say I'm working part time, maybe people will take me a bit more seriously

And no, I chose the uni first (LOVED Chester) then went to look for a house.

So yes, he's just being unfair for no reason :roll: :roll:

Tamsin · Nov 24, 2006

Parents :roll:

How about putting together a spreadsheet with all the outgoings and your income due and potential income from flatmate etc. Spreadsheets are cool cos to a certain extent you can make them show what you want unlike bank staements

Also I think it might be a good idea to sort out a proper tennancy agreement with your dad. That gives you rights such as a notice period and makes it more difficult to throw you out. It also means that aslong as you hand him the rent money on the right date the rest of your money issues are yours. Are the bills all in your name? If not it's easy enough to switch and then he can't monitor them because they go to you.

Tam

beckiboo186 · Nov 24, 2006

xEMMAx said:
I know, I tried explaining that but he won't listen! He just thinks I'll be silly with my money :roll:

Hun .. If it's your money, I think your entitled to be silly with it if you like

I feel so sorry for you, what a situation?!! :shock: Have no advice whatsoever.. (I think i'm good with money, but I never have any so I guess I'm a little wrong

:lol: !) .. but sending big 'Sort itself out' hugs to you :wink: Xx

xEMMAx · Nov 24, 2006

Tamsin said:
Parents :roll:

How about putting together a spreadsheet with all the outgoings and your income due and potential income from flatmate etc. Spreadsheets are cool cos to a certain extent you can make them show what you want unlike bank staements

Also I think it might be a good idea to sort out a proper tennancy agreement with your dad. That gives you rights such as a notice period and makes it more difficult to throw you out. It also means that aslong as you hand him the rent money on the right date the rest of your money issues are yours. Are the bills all in your name? If not it's easy enough to switch and then he can't monitor them because they go to you.

Tam

Done that

Did one of those back in September

I love doing spreadsheets and powerpoint presentations etc

Ohh, that's a really good idea Tamsin, thanks for suggesting that

Will see what his thought on that are!
Some of the bills in my name, getting all of them changed to my name by end of next week I think.

xEMMAx · Nov 24, 2006

beckiboo186 said:
xEMMAx said:

I know, I tried explaining that but he won't listen! He just thinks I'll be silly with my money :roll:

Click to expand...

Hun .. If it's your money, I think your entitled to be silly with it if you like I feel so sorry for you, what a situation?!! :shock: Have no advice whatsoever.. (I think i'm good with money, but I never have any so I guess I'm a little wrong :lol: !) .. but sending big 'Sort itself out' hugs to you :wink: Xx

I like your thinking! :lol: :lol: I agree... my money, can do what I want with it

Aww thanks Becki

beckiboo186 · Nov 24, 2006

xEMMAx said:
beckiboo186 said:

xEMMAx said:

I know, I tried explaining that but he won't listen! He just thinks I'll be silly with my money :roll:

Click to expand...

Hun .. If it's your money, I think your entitled to be silly with it if you like I feel so sorry for you, what a situation?!! :shock: Have no advice whatsoever.. (I think i'm good with money, but I never have any so I guess I'm a little wrong :lol: !) .. but sending big 'Sort itself out' hugs to you :wink: Xx

Click to expand...

I like your thinking! :lol: :lol: I agree... my money, can do what I want with it
Aww thanks Becki

Anytime Chick

X

cherylwares · Nov 24, 2006

I was going to suggest a proper tenancy agreement, like Tamsin said but didn't want to sound like I was being mean (no offence to you Tamsin - I have been a bit vocal on here already and didn't want to upset Emma too much as after all he still is her dad).

I think the spreadsheet is a good idea too. It will show that your income is x, your outgoings are y, therefore proving you can afford the bills etc, and whatever is left is your business only.

xEMMAx · Nov 24, 2006

cherylwares said:
I was going to suggest a proper tenancy agreement, like Tamsin said but didn't want to sound like I was being mean (no offence to you Tamsin - I have been a bit vocal on here already and didn't want to upset Emma too much as after all he still is her dad).

I think the spreadsheet is a good idea too. It will show that your income is x, your outgoings are y, therefore proving you can afford the bills etc, and whatever is left is your business only.

Don't worry about being mean, ANY help is appreciated

So don't worry about upsetting me if you have anything to say

If I do get upset I'll get over it

:lol: Thank you

Will talk to him again after work tomorrow, going to bed as soon as I can be bothered to MOVE into bed :roll:

Sue&Sooty · Nov 25, 2006

Emma I would ask for a proper tennancy agreement too. I rent my house from my parents and it has all been done properly to ensure that everything is above board and we all know where we stand.

sillyrabbit · Nov 25, 2006

Oh I thought he would let you keep them!

Im glad you have dropped out of your course though, now you can look at starting something you really want to do.

I think If I was you I would just refuse to show him your statements. He has no reason to see them. As long as you are paying the bills on time he shouldnt even be asking about your money. What would he do if you said no? Do you honestly think he would make you move out?

Take him to your neighbours, knock on all their doors and ask them if they can smell the rabbits or if the rabbits are causing them any problems or if they are ever going to start complaining about them. I bet half of them dont even know you have rabbits. Mine are cleaned out the same as yours and they never smell

Help needed! Need to send some buns on 'holiday' U/D ARGH!!

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