This is dedicated to my lovely bunny Toasted Bun who died on Friday February 17th.
Toasty, I hope you forgive me for my mistakes, of which there were three.
Firstly, when you first stopped eating I assumed, wrongly, it was GI Stasis which your brother had a few months ago. Thinking there was no point in taking you to the vet as I had the medicines here and knew what I was doing, I treated you at home for 4 days, during which you accepted your medication, but had no interest at all in eating, and passed nothing. After 4 days I noticed you had a big swelling on one side of your mouth and knew I really needed to take you to the vet, and booked you in for the following day. My first mistake was leaving it so long before taking you, and thinking I knew best.
The vet realised you had a problem with a rotten tooth, and needed an anaesthetic so he could remove it. But the day I took you was a friday, and the appointment was 12.30, a nice convenient time for me which didn't interfere with my other plans, and unfortunately on a friday the vet closes at 5pm. My second mistake was not giving your appointment the priority it deserved and fitting it in around other arrangements.
The vet said he could operate that day, but that as they closed at 5pm and he would be away over the weekend, I would need to be prepared to give you injections of painkiller and anti-inflammatories over the weekend. I didn't mind. I had this bad feeling inside me that you wouldn't make it through the operation, I dont know why, and sat waiting for the phone to ring to tell me the bad news. But it didn't ring, and I was so relieved. I work on fridays from 3-8, so I decided to head straight to work to make up the 1.5 hours I would need to leave, to go back and collect you to take you home at 5pm. I was expecting you to be fully awake when I picked you up, and was quite shocked to see you barely waking up from your anaesthetic when I got there. I took you home and left you in the pet carrier to recover, and drove back to work. All the way there I knew this was the wrong decision, and that I should be with you, to check you didn't lie in the wrong position while not fully conscious, and to be there ready to give you your first painkiller. My third mistake was not telling them at work that I had to stay home with you because you needed me.
I drove back from work at 8 like a maniac, and was terrified that you would be in pain when I got there. It honestly never occurred to me you would be dead when I got back. Oh Toasty, I was so horrified that I had left you and gone back to my job when you were relying on me for your care. I know you may never have recovered properly, but that day I put work before my beloved pet bunny, and that was a dreadful decision I have to live with. I have given a nice donation to Rabbit Rehome as I dont want the money I earnt that day, while I left you semi conscious and possibly in a lot of pain. I don't know how soon you died, whether you never really woke up properly, or did but died from shock and pain without me there to help as best I could.
It's taken me over a month to be able to write this, and I have come to terms with your death now, and have learned from my mistakes. I will never again ignore the needs of one of my much loved pets.
We miss you Toasty.
Toasty, I hope you forgive me for my mistakes, of which there were three.
Firstly, when you first stopped eating I assumed, wrongly, it was GI Stasis which your brother had a few months ago. Thinking there was no point in taking you to the vet as I had the medicines here and knew what I was doing, I treated you at home for 4 days, during which you accepted your medication, but had no interest at all in eating, and passed nothing. After 4 days I noticed you had a big swelling on one side of your mouth and knew I really needed to take you to the vet, and booked you in for the following day. My first mistake was leaving it so long before taking you, and thinking I knew best.
The vet realised you had a problem with a rotten tooth, and needed an anaesthetic so he could remove it. But the day I took you was a friday, and the appointment was 12.30, a nice convenient time for me which didn't interfere with my other plans, and unfortunately on a friday the vet closes at 5pm. My second mistake was not giving your appointment the priority it deserved and fitting it in around other arrangements.
The vet said he could operate that day, but that as they closed at 5pm and he would be away over the weekend, I would need to be prepared to give you injections of painkiller and anti-inflammatories over the weekend. I didn't mind. I had this bad feeling inside me that you wouldn't make it through the operation, I dont know why, and sat waiting for the phone to ring to tell me the bad news. But it didn't ring, and I was so relieved. I work on fridays from 3-8, so I decided to head straight to work to make up the 1.5 hours I would need to leave, to go back and collect you to take you home at 5pm. I was expecting you to be fully awake when I picked you up, and was quite shocked to see you barely waking up from your anaesthetic when I got there. I took you home and left you in the pet carrier to recover, and drove back to work. All the way there I knew this was the wrong decision, and that I should be with you, to check you didn't lie in the wrong position while not fully conscious, and to be there ready to give you your first painkiller. My third mistake was not telling them at work that I had to stay home with you because you needed me.
I drove back from work at 8 like a maniac, and was terrified that you would be in pain when I got there. It honestly never occurred to me you would be dead when I got back. Oh Toasty, I was so horrified that I had left you and gone back to my job when you were relying on me for your care. I know you may never have recovered properly, but that day I put work before my beloved pet bunny, and that was a dreadful decision I have to live with. I have given a nice donation to Rabbit Rehome as I dont want the money I earnt that day, while I left you semi conscious and possibly in a lot of pain. I don't know how soon you died, whether you never really woke up properly, or did but died from shock and pain without me there to help as best I could.
It's taken me over a month to be able to write this, and I have come to terms with your death now, and have learned from my mistakes. I will never again ignore the needs of one of my much loved pets.
We miss you Toasty.
Very sad but wonderful story. You are very brave for writting this, as I know that it must have been hard. Almost the same thing happened to me a while back, one of my buns stopped eating and I ignored it thinking he was ok, and when he passed all I had left was quilt. I have now realized how much that experience has helped me, and how his passing has saved all of my other animals.
