Help with grief

[Bun2]

Hi, we lost our rabbit only yesterday & I keep crying. Just wondered if you found anything that helped you get over it any quicker? I know its probably normal & I'm an emotional person so can't really control it but I feel a real mess.
I keep thinking 'this time yesterday she was still here' or 'this time yesterday I could see her & stroke her she was enjoying life' etc. It was really quick because the vet found cancer which they tried to operate on but it had spread so advised PTS before she got really weak or suffered with pain. She wasn't even 2 years old, she only got to enjoy 1 summer.
Every time going in the kitchen I keep seeing her empty hutch, so I've just cleaned it all out & put her things away as thought it might help not keep seeing things she used. The cage is the biggest we have so going to move our other rabbit into it to give her a better home. I'm hoping seeing rabbit 2 in there will help me feel less sad than seeing an empty cage where she used to be.
My other rabbit has been sniffing around there, we kept them seperate but they could see each other & go next to each others cage, I feel bad she doesn't understand where rabbit 1 is?

Any tips to move on from this grief? How long did it take you if you got emotional to stop being so? I don't want to upset everyone else with my crying so much. Give it time I keep saying to myself & humans are dying so get a grip over a rabbit, but that isn't helping.

 

[Zoobec]

I’m so sorry for your loss when our pets mean so much to us it is so hard when we lose them. I found I cried an awful lot especially in the first few days. I think it’s normal to do that. Sometimes other people might not understand how much the loss affects you, usually people who haven’t been lucky enough to have a close relationship with their pets. For me it was better to allow myself to grieve and process my feelings of loss in my own time. For me, as time passed I found it easier to cope with and it was best to try to be kind to myself during the worst of it. Eventually I found it easier to deal with and I was able to remember all the happy times I’d had. Doing a tribute on rainbow bridge might help. Sending you hugs xx

 

[Craig 1965]

I am sorry to read of the loss of your bunny. As a community, we all feel the loss of one of our bunnies and many of us, as you have, post how we feel. Firstly, it takes enormous courage to take the time and open your feelings on a forum- and everyone here will totally understand this and how you feel.
Grief is unfortunately a natural process that people who care, people who love, feel. It is not something that is governed by time because we are all different and we all process things at different speeds. So what you are feeling isn't unusual- it is unique to you because you are processing alot, and emotionally feeling alot. You have questions that you probably can't find answers to and again that's normal. It just doesn't feel normal.
I joined the forum about 8 years back now- like you, looking for answers and in that time I have lost several bunnies - each more painful than the last. Like you I have and still do shed tears and reflect. The last bun I lost was in June 2022 and I still very much grieve for that loss more than any other I think. Some people can and do move on but that's not to say they ever forget or wish to forget those whom we have shared our lives and hearts with. Take some comfort from the fact you gave your bunny your love and heart and she had a special life that only you could have given her. The price we pay for the love we give is that sadly they take a piece of our hearts with them.
Please allow yourself time and space to just grieve. Cry as much as you want and allow those special memories to hold a place in your heart. All our pets are special- they live with us and are part of us and our families.
Big hugs to you and we are all here to help support you in that process.
Craig x

 

[bunny momma]

The others have given you great suggestions. I usually cry my eyes out and write a tribute to my bunny. If possible, plant a tree or shrub and create a memorial.
Our bunnies are part of our family. It is OK to mourn them in any way that helps you.
Your other bunny will be grieving the loss along with you, so it can be helpful to both that bunny and you to spend more time with that bunny.

 

[InspectorMorse]

I am very sorry for your loss

You could reach out for support over the telephone from here if it is something that you feel might be of some help

Pet bereavement and pet loss

If you are grieving for a pet, or facing loss, our free and confidential Pet Loss Support service is here for you by phone, email or webchat.

www.bluecross.org.uk

 

[Barn Yard Bunnies]

Bug bug hugs xxx

 

[Omi]

I am so very sorry and just to say we all understand.

 

[Bun2]

Thank you for your kind words. It's just so final, I can't bear to look at her photo's in my phone or say her name, which I called my other rabbit by mistake & felt awful. I'm trying to focus on we gave her a good home, she didn't suffer, the vet was so lovely & gave her cuddles. We usually say good night & good morning to both but it was so sad not saying anything to her that we decided to say out loud 'good morning to Bunny in heaven' is that odd? We still include her in our prayers but I'm not sure if that's healthy long term? We won't forget her but don't want to think of her all the time either, I feel bad saying that but it can't be healthy mentally. I've cried less today so hopefully each day passing will help but I feel guilty for that & for enjoying things etc even for smiling at something. Yeswe still have 1 other rabbit but I don't think I could ever get another with their short life span its too painful to be losing them every 5ish years (average). Did you get another?

 

[Craig 1965]

Thank you for your kind words. It's just so final, I can't bear to look at her photo's in my phone or say her name, which I called my other rabbit by mistake & felt awful. I'm trying to focus on we gave her a good home, she didn't suffer, the vet was so lovely & gave her cuddles. We usually say good night & good morning to both but it was so sad not saying anything to her that we decided to say out loud 'good morning to Bunny in heaven' is that odd? We still include her in our prayers but I'm not sure if that's healthy long term? We won't forget her but don't want to think of her all the time either, I feel bad saying that but it can't be healthy mentally. I've cried less today so hopefully each day passing will help but I feel guilty for that & for enjoying things etc even for smiling at something. Yeswe still have 1 other rabbit but I don't think I could ever get another with their short life span its too painful to be losing them every 5ish years (average). Did you get another?

It is hard. But its because you care and you love your bunnies. Time does pass and to a degree time does help heal but please don't feel guilt. Guilt is a powerful and negative emotion in some ways but its also an emotion that needs to be there. The loss wasn't your fault but we all address guilt after the loss.
In terms of moving on, yes I did always get another partner bunny as I felt that our remaining bunny needed the companionship. From my own view, I felt that the emotional support provided by companionship of another rabbit was important for our rabbits welfare. But I also felt quite a sense of wishing to give another bunny a second chance of a loving home with a companion. I felt strongly that there are so many bunnies wanting to be adopted, and so many with such sad and unfortunate beginnings in life, that I could offer those rabbits hope, a home and a place that they could feel part of a family. I personally can't say that I did all this correctly- I found myself trying to move on too soon and I found myself not in a good place and I had to take a step back from many things- including the forum, much to my upset. But I found myself the space, and quite by unexpected chance, an opportunity to adopt a new bun to partner our female. 18 months on and I have the joy of watching the incredible strong loving bond of two bunnies - both with challenging beginnings but both now part of our family.
I hope that you can find space in your heart to offer another bunny the love and care you so clearly have. They are such sweet and gentle souls who sadly are very much not given the respect by many that they deserve.
Craig. X