Bonding with my rabbit, going terrible

Hello everyone,

Murphy is now 6 months old, so he is going through the terrible teenage stage at the moment - though he is booked in to be done on the 30th. I do plan on finding him a GF once he has healed etc.

But in the 3 months we've had him. He has shown very little interest in wanting to know me, at all.
I've tried bribing him, giving treats when he comes over, ignoring him completely and letting him do his own thing and sitting with him on the floor all the time - lovely numb bum issues with this!
But he still isn't the slightest bit interested in me, the most attention I get is a sniff and a kick as he walks away, about 90% of the time. He'll do it when I change his water, feed him, clean him out and just when he's the one who has come up to me, then walks away kicking at me.

But, who does he like? My OH! Who wasn't really interested in getting him in the first instance. Murphy is quite content to jump on the sofa with him, chase him, go running up to him. Last night he was even invited to dance and play by Murphy! - Murph was running in circles around my OH.

I've now, ashamedly grown a bit of resentment towards Murphy - bit of a kick in the teeth when your own pet couldn't care less about you. I don't know what to do.
Seems his name is appropriate - after Muprhy's law - I'd get want him, my partner not and it's me he dislikes! I'm kind of worried that if i bring another rabbit in, he'll kind of rub off on her and both of them will hate me!

I thought it would be a good bonding thing for us if I tried to start clicker training him - LOL, doesn't even come near me for me to even click and treat, I've been trying for a week now.

I honestly am at a loss - It's a bit disheartening living with a pet that doesn't want to know... I'm not planning on rehoming him, he still is going to be neutered and I am still going to find him a friend. But I really don't know what more I can do to try and bond with him...

Really sorry but this made me laugh!!!

My little man is exactly the same, he's over 6 months old and has only recently been neutured. But after everything I do for him, he much prefers my other half. Similar to your bunny, he is besotted with Martin... Will literally follow him everywhere, jump up on the sofa, will dig at the bedroom door when Martin is in their. My partner honestly thinks he's gay! Lol!

I know it's hard, but you can't think he doesn't love you, I have no doubt that he does.. But maybe just continue what your doing & give him time! I know others may know more.. But even though my little man quite clearly prefers Martin, I wouldn't change him! (I personally think he's smarter than me & pays Martin lots of attention so he doesn't have to move outside!) :lol: :lol:

Xxxxx

Ruthyjones89 said:

Really sorry but this made me laugh!!!

My little man is exactly the same, he's over 6 months old and has only recently been neutured. But after everything I do for him, he much prefers my other half. Similar to your bunny, he is besotted with Martin... Will literally follow him everywhere, jump up on the sofa, will dig at the bedroom door when Martin is in their. My partner honestly thinks he's gay! Lol!

I know it's hard, but you can't think he doesn't love you, I have no doubt that he does.. But maybe just continue what your doing & give him time! I know others may know more.. But even though my little man quite clearly prefers Martin, I wouldn't change him! (I personally think he's smarter than me & pays Martin lots of attention so he doesn't have to move outside!) :lol: :lol:

Xxxxx

Click to expand...

love this :lol:

Boo got on the sofa for her first ever proper snuggle last night with her daddy :evil: :lol:

Some of the rabbits I've bonded to most deeply have taken years to get there. You have a happy bunny & obviously your bunny thinks you also have good taste in men so by the high standards of rabbit you're doing well. There is also the good chance that a wife for Murphy might be really friendly towards you & that in turn will encourage Murphy

You may find once he is neutered and the hormones have had a few weeks to settle, that his attitude changes. Almost certainly he won't be circling your OH anymore since that is usually courting behavior related to their horomones.

Some other things to look at might be how your bun is interpreting your body language towards him. You may inadvertently be doing things that give your bun the wrong impression of you. There is also examining if you are having to do the nasty things that might be upsetting your bun, such as having to pick him up for things, trimming nails, moving things that he doesn't want moved, etc, and if so maybe have your OH help with those things or find a different tactic that might be less upsetting to Murphy to see if it makes a difference. Some rabbits are very sensitive and can easily get offended by us, believe it or not, even by the littlest of things that we wouldn't think anything about.

You may want to take a look at this link that describes the different ways rabbits communicate with other rabbits(and us). Maybe you will be able to find what it is that is causing the difficulties in bonding with your bun.

http://language.rabbitspeak.com/

If nothing works, the solution might be when you are finding a rabbit companion for him, that it is also one you feel a close bond with. Because it sometimes works out that a friendly bunny can also rub off on the non friendly one, and this might help Murphy more easily develop a relationship with you, as was mentioned by joey&boo.

Willow and Biscuit are like this except they don't prefer anyone else over me, which is nice to know that's it's not just me that they won't associate with[emoji38]
However, I did discover the other day that although they will not let me touch them or anything like that on a regular day, when put in a stressful situation I am the only person that they look to for protection. When I take them to the vets or give them medicine with the help of my mum, they suddenly get closer to me and try to engage with me.

Perhaps doing the same sort of thing will help with Murphy. For example, when he goes to the vets take him on your own and he should choose you over the vet and you are familiar to him, whereas the vet is a complete stranger to him. Also, as briefly mentioned by others, when doing bum checks, grooming, nail clips etc, get your OH to do the nasty bit and you be the lovely mummy that rewards him with treats. You could also try giving him a very small treat (a herb leaf) every time you approach him. This way he should begin to associate you with positive things and will therefore look to you for these positive things.

Good luck and do keep us updated with how you get on! I know how awful it is when it feels as if they hate you, but I promise you that isn't true.

I have eight buns - and all are different in how they react to me. Bobo whom we've had for 4 years now still hates human contact and just sees me a food giver - whilst Cheyenne will come up onto my lap for fusses - the others have their moments but it's not very often that they show me any sort of affection other than when I'm giving out food. But what I love is that they trust me - and it still blows my mind that these little prey animals have had to overcome their instinctive fear of humans in order to survive - and even more than that, do not see me as a threat - that makes me feel so proud of my furbies.

One of our boys - Prudhoe - fell in love with his daddy when we first got him - I was ignored completely in favour of his dad. It was so funny to watch him - not so funny for daddy whose hairy legs were a source of much fascination for Prudhoe :lol:. When Prudhoe was neutered - that calmed him down a lot - and completely stopped when we bonded him with Bug. Now he happily puts his nose down for nosey strokes from me as well as daddy.

Be patient - he does love you, it's probably just hormones driving him towards his daddy

Glad to hear I'm not the only one going through this >.<
Little mare! hopefully, he does calm down and change his allegiance after his op. Then the search for a suitable friend. I always seem to get pets that prefer men.

Jbun said:

You may want to take a look at this link that describes the different ways rabbits communicate with other rabbits(and us). Maybe you will be able to find what it is that is causing the difficulties in bonding with your bun.

http://language.rabbitspeak.com/

Click to expand...

I like the link! Been spending all evening trying to do nose wiggles to my bunnies and offering nose rubs!

I'm also finding bonding with our bunnies is a bit slow going, but i'm sure they'll come round. I tend to be the one that does all the day to day stuff they don't like (nails etc) and from the link jBun posted, I wouldn't be surprised if they go in a huff with me because of it, and I unwittingly don't apologise!

When we brought home a girlfriend for our bun, I focussed a lot on bonding rabbits and forgot to take time to bond with new bunny myself. I realised a little after that it probably didn't help our relationship... Poppy loves our attention, but she doesn't quite trust me, so i'm having to do all that now. I think that will be important for your second bunny.