In the process of bonding... advice needed!

Hello, been a lurker on these forums a bit and finally bonding my two boys! Mel (originally thought to be a girl...) is about a year old, and at a guess twice the weight of the other bunny (he seems quite muscular), and about 1/3 longer nose to tail. Pip is about 5 months old and was neutered 6 weeks ago (Mel is neutered too). I'm going to cal them big bun and little bun here!

I've been sitting with them in a small, neutral room for 1.5 to 3 hours a day, for 6 days. I was going to give them shorter 'dates' but progress seemed to be going well, and whenever I thought to separate them again they started snuggling!
They lie down close together, munch on greens together, flop onto their sides, and snuggle nose-to-nose. in the last 3 days, big bun has been enthusiastically grooming little bun's head and ears.
Problem is, he's STILL trying to pull fur from little bun's bottom, and trying to bite/pull fur (?) from under his chin too. Big bun and I have a good relationship (ok now I sound like crazy bunny lady!) and if I speak to him sternly or stroke him when he looks like he's going to bite/pull fur he won't do it and will just snuggle up and groom little bun instead. He also grooms little bun without my intervention, but 2 out of 3 times stops after a bit and starts the fur pulling again. He also chases little bun but often only for a couple of hops - kind of like he's doing it for show. I've also been using a water spray when he starts to chase or pull fur and just reaching for it usually stops him.

What is going on?! It seems like big bun is sending mixed messages! Or is he waiting for little bun to groom him back? Anything I can do to speed up the process?

When they're not together, they are in separate rooms - little bun has a cage bit big bun does not (and would probably go mad if you put him in one... he angrily rattles the cat basket on vet trips!) Big bun did get into the room with little buns cage in, but just sniffed him through the bars and lay down and had his afternoon nap there, so I'm letting them do this with supervision. He seems to want to be around little bun and doesn't seem to mind that little bun's cage is in his territory (little bun has also been allowed to run is this room and there aren't really any droppings etc marking territory dispute).

Am I doing things right? Anything strike you bunny experts?
Any advice appreciated!

Personally once I start bonding I don't seperate but you have to have them with you 24/7 which is why I usually use a small dog crate to start with then gradually increase the space, it sounds like they haven't worked out who's dominent yet. Car rides are a great help too.I think every time you seperate you go back a step personally and undo some of the bonding you've done.

When you put them together, is it in a neutral area so Big Bun can't get territorial. I would think BB is the dominant bun, he is older and bigger and as LB gets a bit older, even though he is neutered, he may want to become the dominant one, which might cause problems. Or he may retaliate when BB is pulling his fur. If he is the submissive type, then BB will remain the dominant one and they could get on together.

If they don't want to get on peacefully, have you got a space to keep 2 single buns? Hopefully you will be lucky.

Yes it's a neutral room they meet in. But how can anyone stay with the buns 24/7 for days on end? I'll go mad without human interaction holed up in a tiny room! And also have no idea how long it's ging to take!
Everything I've read suggests they should have short 'dates' and once they get along then stay with them at least 24 hrs solid just to check. However I am confused as to what counts as 'getting along' as all the right signs are there but also this chasing and fur pulling a little. So I cannot leave them together when I'm not around.

Little bun doesn't fight back, just runs away. He does seem comfortable with snuggles though, it only goes wrong when big bun nips him. I can't understand how big bun can be doing this AND happy to groom little bun!

I know what you mean. Normally you have a good idea how it's going after 3 days of continually being together, although I do separate them at night if I am not entirely happy. Maybe the nipping is just a rabbit thing, sometimes a Mum will do that to her babies just to reinforce her dominance. There is only one way to really find out and that is to leave them together when you are around for a couple of days then you will have a reasonable idea as to how it is going. I know it is a risk but many people on the Forum have happily bonded boy/boy relationships.

I am 'around' now though - I've spent the past 4 hours in this little room with them. What will be different if I spend 2 days here with them? I am 'around' in the house but cannot watch them every second as I need to shower/eat and things. Should I get a run so I can just move their 'bonding territory' around? (But big bun will know his territory is all around and not understand why he's contained!) Should I give up if there is the same issue after 2 days solid?

I just can't understand why big bun is being friendly AND vicious!

Should I get a baby gate maybe so they are separate but can see/smell each other when I'm not around?

The longer they are together without any fighting then the more sure you can be that they are going to be ok. No-one can guarantee that 2 rabbits aren't going to fight but the more time you have "under your belt" as it were, then the more confident you can feel. I wouldn't move them around, just keep looking in on them, but initially if you have to go out then I would make sure they are safe from one another.

By this time next week you should have a better idea as to whether they are bonding.

Hmm so might be an idea to try the baby gate thing so they can still interact from a distance when I'm not around.
They're not actually fighting as such, as little bun runs away when he gets his fur pulled (and it is only fur pulling) and then big bun only chases him for a couple of hops and loses interest. I do pop out to go to the bathroom and things, usually they don't seem to have moved when I get back.
I just hope that little bun starts grooming soon and this stops big bun feeling the need to assert dominance in this way!

ETA: the fur pulling is getting less frequent and the grooming/snuggles more frequent so fingers crossed!