parsnipbun
Wise Old Thumper
No. 7 in a series
Parsley Interviews . . ‘The Babies’ along with Carnation Lily and Dandelion
Following his recent ear operations our intrepid reporter has been spending the winter snoozing in front of the fire and cultivating his ‘one pack’ (aka his stomach). But the milder weather has seen him out and about the last two days and lurking suspiciously by the ‘The Babies’ run.
The (human) Mama can now report exclusively that the following interview has been discovered in a well nibbled notebook stashed under his food tray . . Parsley himself appeared slightly traumatised and was sleeping fitfully . . .
[Those new to Parsley’s Warren may need to know that ‘the babies’ are in fact an accident produced from a brief flirtation between Parsley and Carnation-Lily Lily Rose - four of them live together with CLLR and their step-father Dandelion. Two others live with other members of the warren. The ‘Babies’ are actually now 18 months old and each weigh in at about 3kilos. CLLR is 3.8 kilos and Dandelion is a large French Lop, totally deaf and poor of sight]
PARSLEY: (Perhaps a little over-jovially and in an unusually deep voice . . . ).
‘Well hello there - can it be that these delightfully attractive young buns I see in here are all chips of the old block? My how you have grown . . . and grown . . . . and indeed grown . . . (looks at Eglantine thoughtfully . . . .) and errrrr . . . . developed .
And just remind me, what are all your names? and surely there are two of you missing?
EGLANTINE, MEADOWSWEET, WOODBINE, and COLUMBINE in Unison:
Good Morning ‘Parsley Bunny Papa’. Surely you remember our names are Eglantine, Meadowsweet, Woodbine, and Columbine. Woodruff and Parsley Piert have left home now as we are all so . . . big.
PARSLEY (Genially). .
‘And so you are . .so you are . . . and what very very attractive bunnies you are as well. Just like somebun I know . . .
Let me see now (looking at slightly darker bunny) you must be Columbine , and you two (looks at two identical buns) are Meadowsweet and Woodbine . . . errr . . or is that Woodbine and Meadowsweet??? or indeed Rosancratz and Guildenstern (chortles at own literary witticism!!) and of course YOU (winks raffishly) must be Eglantine . . . . and you look SO much like your Mama . . .. of whom I have SUCH fond memories . .
CARNATION-LILY LILY ROSE (looming into view from the rear of the chalet run, with large dewlap out in front and undeniable resemblance to moonlit ship under full sail):
‘Indeed - FOND memories, but if i may mention it in front of the children, BRIEF ones!
Five seconds of fun with you and I end up with six mouths to feed. Do you KNOW how long this lot tried to breast feed for? TWELVE weeks - my figure has never recovered! TWELVE WEEKS of having to walk around with six one kilo weights attached to my undercarriage by suction. All together, squashed into this small run (gestures round at enormous 3 level chalet with ensuite run and hay facilities etc).I mean where have YOU BEEN these last 18 months?
And then there was that awful teenage period when they all started fighting, and goodness knows how we coped when Woodruff and Eglantine here didn’t get on (Eglantine tries to look innocent but fails as is developing same statuesque figure as her mama). There were bits of ears everywhere. It was SUCH a relief when Woodruff went to live with her boyfriend . . or should I say boyfriends!. And as for that Parsley Piert . . WELL he took after his bunny papa and no mistake .. . off as soon as his fancies took him and now I hear he is living with his boyfriend . product of a broken home - lucky I havnt had social services round here!. I mean what was I meant to do? Left alone, single mother, six mouths to feed, did I mention there were six?, . . . at my wits end . . . no financial support . . . and I wasnt meant to be able to have babies anyway . . .
PARSLEY: Mmmmmmm . . errrr . . . well they are a very very handsome family, such a pleasure to have around surely, . . . .. and I understand that you have had some assistance . . if I might phrase it that way . . . so not totally, what you might call, ‘alone’???
EGLANTINE, MEADOWSWEET, WOODBINE, and COLUMBINE in Unison:
Yes ‘Parsley Bunny Papa’ we’ve got a step-bunny papa, he’s really fun. He’s big and cuddly and you can run all over him and round him and lay on him and he never minds and he’s always here and we love him very much . . . .
PARSLEY: (sounding just a hint wounded):
Yes well, I’m sure he’s an excellent step-papa, and just the sort of calm steady influence that you young things need . . . rather than a ‘man about town’ wanderer like me!
CARNATION-LILY LILY ROSE: ‘Man about Town’!!!????? Thats not what I’d call it - I’ve seen you running round getting muddy feet, chasing after the human Papa, more like ‘Puppy about Town’ I’d call it, and as for that Princess Peaches . . . .I’ve heard the rumours . . . and her figures not what it once was either . . .
DANDELION: (waking briefly and speaking from underneath an over-excited Meadowsweet and Woodbine): zzzzz......zzzz... ouch . . . . Did someone mention me ? Oh hello Parsley - nice to see you old man, come to help out with the children at last . . bit of a handful your lot eh? Do you think you could get their feet out of my ears at all? I mean whilst your here - perhaps entertain them for a while? Let them walk over you and steal your food? They do SO enjoy that . . . .
PARSLEY: (backing slowly towards the exit and looking round for his human Papa for help): Well I think perhaps thats enough for the readers for now, real life family drama and all that . . . . I’ll pop back in another 12 months or so . . just to see how things are . . . though of course if any of you young things fancy a day out with your bunny papa . . . (winks at Eglantine who really is VERY well developed and looks just like her mama did 18 months ago . . )
EGLANTINE, MEADOWSWEET, WOODBINE, and COLUMBINE (all getting over excited and running round and round and round and round . . ):
YES PLEASE!!!!!! a day out with papa, a day out with papa. . . (etc etc)
PARSLEY: Ah yes . . well best have a chat with your mother about the arrangements then . . . Must dash now . . . .
[Parsley was later found snoozing in front of the fire - twitching occasionally in his sleep as though imagining a herd of elephants walking over him . . . ]
(this one with Mulberry and Bluebell added)
Parsley Interviews . . ‘The Babies’ along with Carnation Lily and Dandelion
Following his recent ear operations our intrepid reporter has been spending the winter snoozing in front of the fire and cultivating his ‘one pack’ (aka his stomach). But the milder weather has seen him out and about the last two days and lurking suspiciously by the ‘The Babies’ run.
The (human) Mama can now report exclusively that the following interview has been discovered in a well nibbled notebook stashed under his food tray . . Parsley himself appeared slightly traumatised and was sleeping fitfully . . .
[Those new to Parsley’s Warren may need to know that ‘the babies’ are in fact an accident produced from a brief flirtation between Parsley and Carnation-Lily Lily Rose - four of them live together with CLLR and their step-father Dandelion. Two others live with other members of the warren. The ‘Babies’ are actually now 18 months old and each weigh in at about 3kilos. CLLR is 3.8 kilos and Dandelion is a large French Lop, totally deaf and poor of sight]
PARSLEY: (Perhaps a little over-jovially and in an unusually deep voice . . . ).
‘Well hello there - can it be that these delightfully attractive young buns I see in here are all chips of the old block? My how you have grown . . . and grown . . . . and indeed grown . . . (looks at Eglantine thoughtfully . . . .) and errrrr . . . . developed .
And just remind me, what are all your names? and surely there are two of you missing?
EGLANTINE, MEADOWSWEET, WOODBINE, and COLUMBINE in Unison:
Good Morning ‘Parsley Bunny Papa’. Surely you remember our names are Eglantine, Meadowsweet, Woodbine, and Columbine. Woodruff and Parsley Piert have left home now as we are all so . . . big.
PARSLEY (Genially). .
‘And so you are . .so you are . . . and what very very attractive bunnies you are as well. Just like somebun I know . . .
Let me see now (looking at slightly darker bunny) you must be Columbine , and you two (looks at two identical buns) are Meadowsweet and Woodbine . . . errr . . or is that Woodbine and Meadowsweet??? or indeed Rosancratz and Guildenstern (chortles at own literary witticism!!) and of course YOU (winks raffishly) must be Eglantine . . . . and you look SO much like your Mama . . .. of whom I have SUCH fond memories . .
CARNATION-LILY LILY ROSE (looming into view from the rear of the chalet run, with large dewlap out in front and undeniable resemblance to moonlit ship under full sail):
‘Indeed - FOND memories, but if i may mention it in front of the children, BRIEF ones!
Five seconds of fun with you and I end up with six mouths to feed. Do you KNOW how long this lot tried to breast feed for? TWELVE weeks - my figure has never recovered! TWELVE WEEKS of having to walk around with six one kilo weights attached to my undercarriage by suction. All together, squashed into this small run (gestures round at enormous 3 level chalet with ensuite run and hay facilities etc).I mean where have YOU BEEN these last 18 months?
And then there was that awful teenage period when they all started fighting, and goodness knows how we coped when Woodruff and Eglantine here didn’t get on (Eglantine tries to look innocent but fails as is developing same statuesque figure as her mama). There were bits of ears everywhere. It was SUCH a relief when Woodruff went to live with her boyfriend . . or should I say boyfriends!. And as for that Parsley Piert . . WELL he took after his bunny papa and no mistake .. . off as soon as his fancies took him and now I hear he is living with his boyfriend . product of a broken home - lucky I havnt had social services round here!. I mean what was I meant to do? Left alone, single mother, six mouths to feed, did I mention there were six?, . . . at my wits end . . . no financial support . . . and I wasnt meant to be able to have babies anyway . . .
PARSLEY: Mmmmmmm . . errrr . . . well they are a very very handsome family, such a pleasure to have around surely, . . . .. and I understand that you have had some assistance . . if I might phrase it that way . . . so not totally, what you might call, ‘alone’???
EGLANTINE, MEADOWSWEET, WOODBINE, and COLUMBINE in Unison:
Yes ‘Parsley Bunny Papa’ we’ve got a step-bunny papa, he’s really fun. He’s big and cuddly and you can run all over him and round him and lay on him and he never minds and he’s always here and we love him very much . . . .
PARSLEY: (sounding just a hint wounded):
Yes well, I’m sure he’s an excellent step-papa, and just the sort of calm steady influence that you young things need . . . rather than a ‘man about town’ wanderer like me!
CARNATION-LILY LILY ROSE: ‘Man about Town’!!!????? Thats not what I’d call it - I’ve seen you running round getting muddy feet, chasing after the human Papa, more like ‘Puppy about Town’ I’d call it, and as for that Princess Peaches . . . .I’ve heard the rumours . . . and her figures not what it once was either . . .
DANDELION: (waking briefly and speaking from underneath an over-excited Meadowsweet and Woodbine): zzzzz......zzzz... ouch . . . . Did someone mention me ? Oh hello Parsley - nice to see you old man, come to help out with the children at last . . bit of a handful your lot eh? Do you think you could get their feet out of my ears at all? I mean whilst your here - perhaps entertain them for a while? Let them walk over you and steal your food? They do SO enjoy that . . . .
PARSLEY: (backing slowly towards the exit and looking round for his human Papa for help): Well I think perhaps thats enough for the readers for now, real life family drama and all that . . . . I’ll pop back in another 12 months or so . . just to see how things are . . . though of course if any of you young things fancy a day out with your bunny papa . . . (winks at Eglantine who really is VERY well developed and looks just like her mama did 18 months ago . . )
EGLANTINE, MEADOWSWEET, WOODBINE, and COLUMBINE (all getting over excited and running round and round and round and round . . ):
YES PLEASE!!!!!! a day out with papa, a day out with papa. . . (etc etc)
PARSLEY: Ah yes . . well best have a chat with your mother about the arrangements then . . . Must dash now . . . .
[Parsley was later found snoozing in front of the fire - twitching occasionally in his sleep as though imagining a herd of elephants walking over him . . . ]
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