thank you all for your lovely comments.
the blues buns were actually pretty easy to bond when it came to it - but i think because I'd spent nearly 2 months laying groundwork. First time the boys saw mini the moocher Jake tried to attack her through the bars and then turned on Elwood briefly. after a while they were just 'interested'
set up meant the boys could go through tunnel into moochers greenhouse and pop up in a large dog cage- everyone could meet via bars -and bite- mooch got bitten once. I only fed them together - boys one side of bars - mooch the other- if they wanted their pellets they had to eat together or go without.
in garden mooch was a in a puppy play pen that kept being moved round lawn while boys were loose other side- initially Jake tried to attack her through bars- then got bored of that when it didn't work.
mooch is very submissive- the boys are very dominent with Jake being more dominent then Elwood. If mooch hadn't been submissive I do not think I could have got them together.
after mooch was spayed I started feeding them all together in greenhouse - minus dog cage with a large squirty bottle of water at hand. first couple of goes Jake got very wet due to his not very nice attitude towards mooch. Elwood was pretty friendly to her straight off.
then I moved all 3 into playpen 4 x 4 in kitchen . no one had ever been in there before -and they got to meet my large friendly dog. Mooch likes the dog- the boys do not. sat with them for 2 days and nights water bottle at ready, jake guarded litter trays so trays removed. at last everyone cuddled up and eating together.
greenhouse was neutrised with vinigar and its 'furnature ' rearranged so all new. spent day sat outside door watching them- everyone behaved. kept nipping out all night- veryone cuddled. aftyer few days reintroduced litter trays and I've been slowly expanding terratory ever since till now we at point only no-go area is the downstairs bedroom of the hutch which I've had to block off as jake guards it like a conger eel!
but everyone now sleeps cuddled up, eat together and play together and its great
was terrible fraught while going on but well worth the effort. I think it has only worked as we have 3 rabbits with very different levels of dominence- jake is top, elwood follows his lead and Mooch is their adoreing submissive follower- as when the boys were not nice she never bit back but instead flattened and shut eyes she was no threat and they were thus able to accept her. i think if she had been a fiesty bun then it would not have worked.
but it really is wonderful all 3 together- they all look so much happier to be part of a real social group.