Bonding after loss of mate - how soon?

Hi there

My lovely netherland dwarf Gerard passed away today after having dental surgery yesterday - he lives in our living room & he seemed perfectly normal until I got home from work on Monday & he was miserable & not eating. Apparently he'd lost 250g since July, which equates to about 20% of his body weight, so he'd obviously been getting ill for a while, but he had no symptoms - on Sunday he was in the garden & every time I looked at him he was scoffing something! Anyhow, his chest was bad this morning & he still wasn't eating so I took him to the vets for them to nurse, took his favourite foods & his girlfriend to keep him company, but his chest got worse & he died around lunch time.

Two questions -

Will Angel (his girlfriend) be traumatised because she was there when he died?

I feel really callous for thinking about this but, how long should I wait to get her another boyfriend? Is it better to was a bit or to get another friend for her ASAP? They were very close & used to sit snuggling & grooming each other. Part of me doesn't want to even consider getting another rabbit, but I think I'm going to have to, for Angel's sake.

My step-kids are going to be gutted - they won't know till tomorrow & I don't wnat them to feel like I'm replacing Gerard, but they see him as 'theirs' cos I rescued him from their mother's house!!

Sudders

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your rabbit. Horrible, especially when you are doing everything you can to keep them healthy.

I haven't personal experience of losing a bun and bonding, however, a lady who's buns come into our vet pracitice lost one of her beloved buns a few weeks back. The bun had dental work for a number of years, and died on the Wednesday following routine dental work on the Monday. We spoke about a new bun on the Friday the same week and the remaining sister was rebonded only a week later. The bunny left behind took her new husbun immediately, washing the new bunny's head as soon as she was put in with him.

I think that it entirely depends on the bunny, but this just goes to show that it can be quite acceptable by both owner and rabbit very quickly indeed.

I'd say go for it sooner, as you have nothing to lose. If it doesn't work straight away, you can try again later.

Helen

Sudders said:

Will Angel (his girlfriend) be traumatised because she was there when he died?

I feel really callous for thinking about this but, how long should I wait to get her another boyfriend?

Is it better to was a bit or to get another friend for her ASAP? They were very close & used to sit snuggling & grooming each other.
Sudders

Click to expand...

Welcome to RU

In answer to your questions, Angel will be less traumatised by being there with your other bun when he died, for the bun who died it would have been less traumatic knowing that he was with someone who cared for him. For Angel she knows the outcome of what has happened rather than her partner beign taken away and never returning.

There is nothing wrong with looking to find Angel a new partner, you are not replacing Gerard but offering Angel the opprotunity for company again. There is no right and wrong time to do this, a lot depends on how down your Angel is. Personally I would find out where your local rescue is, have a chat with them and arrange to take Angel to see them with view to finding her a new friend. They will help you with the bonding process.

I completely agree with jrn.

By Angel being there it helps both buns. She will understand where he has gone and so shouldn't pine or grieve as much as if he just disappeared.

As for a new bun, maybe go by her and what you think she needs. If she looks lonely, maybe look to finding her a new friend sooner rather than later, if she is looking ok, then maybe wait for her to settle a bit. Really it's up to you

I lost one of my rabbits at the age of 10 just 5 weeks ago. As her second hubby was only a year old, we knew we would always get him a new companion.
We let him smell her body when we bought her home, still warm, and he washed all her face, then picked up a toy and dropped it on her. But i honestly believe he understood that she was gone. This was on the wednesday, the thursday he spent alone (well sort of, he actually spent most of the day with one of my cats, so he had a friend) on the firday afternoon we picked up his new mate, and within 5 minutes they were washing eachother and have been together ever since.

Norbert acts very differently with his new woman, hes a lot move active, but he also looks for more human affection now aswell. Over the past 4 1/2 weeks they have become closer and closer and always cuddle up at night and groom eachother.

I dont think there is any right or wrong answer. You must do what you think is best for your rabbit, but dont rush into anything because you feel pressured to do so. If you feel you need to wait awhile, then just give bun lots of extra fuss

We found a new partner for Sugar after only a few days after our darling Daisy died. Unfortunately she didn't make it through surgery and Sugar never got to see her again. Poor Sugar didn't know where she had gone and was very down. We brought her into the house as she would only eat when we spent a long time fussing over her first. She seemed so lost and sad. We knew she needed a new bunny friend. Luckily I found this forum and made contact with a rescue centre who recommended a lovely older bun who had also just lost their best friend. We bonded Sugar and George over a couple of days (v stressful but very worth it) and now they are both much happier. Sugar and George binky round the garden and are eating us out of house and home!!!! Sugar doesn't love George in the same way she did Daisy and I'm sure George is not yet as close to Sugar as he was to his beloved Tansy, but we are very hopeful that one day they will snuggle up together in just the same way. Right now they are very happy to have another bun to groom and play with. George has settled in very well and we are very fond of him already. He hops happily to the front of the run when we come in and one day I'm sure he will hop straight into my arms and lick me like sug does. Until then we are just so pleased that Sugar is content and also really happy to have been able to give a loving forever home to George.

You will be getting a new partner for Angel to snuggle up with and share her life, not replacing Gerard.
This is (Big) George and Sugar. Daisy is under my username.

most rabbits adapt better for seeing the body.. dora was ridiculous after the loss of snowy moping around adn refusing to eat... we had her a new partenr a week later this sorted her out... but we did let her choose first by putting photos up of bunnys neededin homes free to good home adn rescues etc... she went and sat by one only whcih i fed her next too until we took her to meet him as she was speyed already it didnt matter i needed to neutere him... she and arthur are very happy but as he got quite humpy we had him neutered yesterday but they are alwasyssnuggling uup and love each other very much x