Sweet dreams, my friends

[a reader of books]

I wanted to post this now, before the grief sinks in and I won't be able to anymore... I said goodbye to my sweet Casper and silly Saar a few hours ago. Casper's been continuing to get more and more quiet and withdrawn these past couple of weeks, not really wanting to eat or do much anymore. This morning he was clearly done with everything, seeming frustrated and just wanting to be left alone. Before I called the vet about letting him go today, I checked on Saar who had been hiding in her house. She didn't want to eat and was clearly very unwell. She was fine last night, happy and hungry, but the vet explained this often happens with tumours, that from one day to the next it can suddenly become too much. She started eating again later, but she was very quiet and mostly just wanted to lie down and just wasn't well.

They both got lots of favourite treats all day, lots of fruit for Saar and her sweet tooth, and Casper's favourite treats that he hasn't been able to tolerate anymore, since there was no reason anymore for him not to have them now... I told them all day how much I loved them and how grateful and happy and lucky I've been to have them in my life. Saar got lots of pets, which she has started liking recently. Casper mostly wanted to be left alone, so I respected that. About an hour before the vet came Saar joined Casper in his little tent house and they cuddled together until it was time. Saar, my little foodie girl, still hopped over to her pile of greens and devoured a piece of kale after they'd both had their first injection. They peacefully fell asleep close to each other.

It's a comfort that neither of them will have to grieve their friend, and it was the right decision, but it's also very, very hard and heartbreaking to lose them both. They're with Sophie in my parents' garden now. I couldn't be there as I've been having a horrible ME crash for a while now and should really not be out of bed; never mind being able to go somewhere. I feel like most of my life has been buried with them. I'm not sure how to have a life all by myself, without their lovely, quiet, silly company. I guess that's something I'll be figuring out, but right now I'm just in a lot of pain.

I'll love you forever and ever, my sweethearts. I'm the luckiest human alive to have gotten to know and care for you both

 

[Pets mum]

I'm so very very sorry Reader, but what a lovely way for your precious bunnies to go, together and side by side. I hope you can find some comfort in that, please take care of yourself xx

 

[tulsi]

What a beautiful last few hours you gave them and indeed a beautiful life.

I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I love love loved your thread about them and Sophie.

Rest in peace you darling cherished sweeties.

 

[Shimmer]

That's so hard, but so selfless.
Take care.

 

[SarahP]

Oh wow, I can't imagine how difficult that must have been for you. Lots of love to you xxx

 

[Liz47]

I'm so sorry you've had to say goodbye to Saar and Casper. You made their last day incredibly peaceful and comfortable xx

 

[Cinnabun14]

Oh reader...

Big hugs, really big hugs. You're such a strong and brave person to do this, and I think you've done the right thing. I'm so sorry they're gone. I loved seeing Casper and Saar, it was one of the highlights of my week. They left peacefully, and with each other which is a beautiful thing you've done for them both. I wish I was there for you, as being sick and going through grief must be so so hard....

With the way you've lived with them, I think Casper and Saar might've already experienced heaven you. They were such lucky, lucky bunnies. Binky free

 

[Orenoko]

I'm sorry you lost both your babies, it does sound like they had the best possible final day together and you made it as special as possible xxx

 

[Zoobec]

I really am so sorry they were such lucky bunnies to have had you caring for them so well. They’ve had the best life possible. it must have been incredibly hard for you, I think you made the best decision for them both.

binky free at the bridge xx

thinking of you and sending hugs xx

 

[nap91]

I am really sorry to hear this look after yourself xx

 

[joey&boo]

Sleep tight & the sweetest of dreams Casper & Saar xx Forever cherished. I'll never forget you

Thinking of you R. Everything will be ok in the end but my heart really does go out to you, it must feel massively overwhelming. Take care of yourself & remember we're here if you need support

 

[keletkezes]

The biggest hugs Reader. Words won't do any of this justice, so I'll leave it here xxx

 

[bunny momma]

I am so sorry you had to say goodbye to your beloved Casper and Saar. It is lovely that they are being interned in your mom’s garden with Sophie. Together forever. Sending you lots of hugs as you process the loss of your special friends.

 

[MimzMum]

Reader, I am so deeply sorry and devastated for you. As others have said, you made a completely selfless decision for the greater good of your dear friends, but I know the pain you must be feeling. I grieve with you, Casper and Saar have left holes not only in your heart but in those of us here that you shared them with as well.
Please take care of yourself and know that we are thinking of you and supporting you at this very sad and difficult time.

Sleep peacefully Casper and Saar xxxx

 

[redmal]

So very sorry to hear this. You were so entertaining with your tales of what Casper and Saar got up to. You gave them a life which any bun would envy, and you were strong in the end for them. You did the right thing for them, as you always did, and now you need to be strong for yourself. Hope this makes sense, there's lots of bunny lovers in the world who respect you and care about you. Thinking of you at this sad and difficult time.

 

[Craig 1965]

Im really sorry that you have had to say goodbye to Caspar and Saar. They brought a great presence to the forum with their adventures. They lived a truly special life filled with all your love and I have absolute respect for you having to make such a decision.
Binkey free Caspar and Saar.
Big hugs to you. X

 

[Mervinius]

I am sorry you had to say goodbye to both your wonderful buns. They had an amazing life with you, even if Saar wasnt with you long and we all got to see a small part of that love and joy on here. You made the right decision, they are now both at peace. I am sure you are still missing them, so sending a big virtual hug.

 

[a reader of books]

I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to thank you all for your messages and support. The grief hit me hard, physically and emotionally, so I shut down for a while and couldn't do much. But I read your messages and was so touched by the things you all said and how kind you all were about Casper and Saar and me. It honestly means a whole lot. Truly, thank you so, so much, everyone

It's been very hard... I feel like I'm only now really getting to grieve for Sophie as well, since things were so hectic and stressful since she passed away, with Casper's deep grief and finding a new friend and bonding, and Casper's health issues getting worse, Saar's tumour, keeping them both comfortable... So, I've been trying to adjust to life without the three of them, and I can't say I like it... It's been a month now, and each day I think of new things that are and will be different from now on. There have been charging cables and plants on the floor and nobody's been chewing them. It's so quiet, too, without Sophie and Saar's peaceful snoring, and poor Casper's sneezes. No more medication alarms, either. There's no one to have breakfast and dinner with. No one to make salads or soak pellets for. No one to say I love you and goodnight to before I go to bed. No one to care for. I've never lived truly on my own before; I've always had my bunny family with me. It feels very empty.

I've been trying to think of the good times we all had together, but it's difficult. Partly because of my memory issues and not remembering as much as I'd like to, but mostly because all I can see when I think of all three of them is their last day, how they were, how they were put to sleep, how they looked afterward... It's not how I want to remember them, so I hope with time that'll change...

After I made a thread on here once about how little I remember of my past bunnies and how upsetting that is to me, and people's kind suggestions, I've been keeping a journal of Sophie and Casper's lives, and recently Saar got to join it, and it's such a treasure to have a book full of stories and photos and other memories that I would otherwise forget. I'm so grateful to have it, and so grateful to the members who gave me the idea. I'm so glad I have their threads on here as well, for the same reason. It does help to look through everything, to have proof that we had such happy times together and it's not all overshadowed by one last day.

So, yeah, I'm struggling, and I miss them very much, but it does help that I know Sophie and Casper got to live full, long lives, happily and comfortably. I really wish Saar had gotten to live to their age as well, but at least she had a home and friendship for her remaining months, and didn't have to spend them at the rescue in that small, lonely cage. I'm grateful I could at least do that for her.

Thank you for reading, if you read all of that. I know it's a lot. And thank you again for all your sweet, thoughtful messages

 

[Pets mum]

Bless you Reader, I've kept you in my thoughts, and wondered how you were doing. I'm glad that you kept bunny journals, and really hope that you can find comfort in reading them. You did indeed give your bunnies wonderful, fulfilling lives, and a lovely environment for them to live in. I hope you feel that you can still post on here, you are and always will be part of the wonderful RU family. Sending you a big hug from me and Flora x

 

[Zoobec]

I’ve been thinking of you and sending hugs, and I know others on here will have been thinking of you too. Casper, Sophie and Saar were very lucky to have you. Hopefully your journal, and your fantastic photos of them on here, will help you remember the good times you shared.