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Re: fostering **update page 11**

Craig 1965

Warren Veteran
Re: fostering **update page 11**

Things never seem to move at a pace I want to try to control in my life. This latest event will have many of you, rest assured me being very much included, raising your eyebrows and scratching your head. That’s how I feel right now.
So, this is all happening with the right intentions but for me, very much at the wrong time. But this is also very much not about me - it’s about flo.
Our friend at the rescue centre is going to bring round a bunny for us to ‘foster’. He comes with 2 story hutch and run. That’s as much of the plan as I know, you know.
As much as I’m happy to foster this bun with a longer term view, it presents massive issues for me/us and pretty much pushes my already strained stress levels go beyond where I’m comfortable. But I also have to look at a wider picture for this.
This is helping an otherwise abandoned rabbit have a home and garden to be happy in, and also a companion for Flo who is hurting. The problem it causes for me is huge because I know how extremely territorial Flo is after last years attempt. We have no neutral area at in our home or garden nor can we create one. I have contacted local bonders who are all fully booked due to holiday commitments and the earliest we could get a space is September/October.
I’ve no idea how this will work - I do know that Flo will be very unsettled and agitated and I am very very very worried. Stressed and worried.
There’s a part of me now, right now just wants to curl up in a ball and close my eyes and never open them again.
But I also know we have to move forward for Flo otherwise it will just get harder and harder on Flo and that’s not fair either. And the rescue centre have no capacity at the moment to facilitate a bond - they are over full with rabbits, pregnant rabbits etc. So I am helping them in this capacity but it’s going to take a toll on me and I’m very anxious.
I’ll update when I have any more info.
Craig x
 
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I'm very much a down to earth creature. I don't believe in things like fate or things happening for a reason. When things have happened in my life I have always tried to consider them rationally. So it is on that basis that, if this were me, I would try to deal with this recent development.

That means that I would want to make sure I understood the arrangement for this new bunny. You say the plan is that you would 'foster' him. I presume this would free up some space in the rescue for another bunny. So from the rescue's point of view, this makes sense. If it were me I would want some sort of re-assurance that the bunny was not going to be re-homed elsewhere. So for me it would need to be a long term fostering agreement.

If he has his own accommodation, then it could work out quite well that he lives in your garden. Flo would probably be territorial when she first finds him, but in time she might get used to another bunny living there and it might give her some company. They could have separate times for spending time free-ranging in the garden. For the other bunny it means that he has more enrichment than if he was stuck in his hutch long term at the rescue.

I would try to be realistic and realise that I would become attached to the new bunny. Who knows in time Flo might come to accept him so that bonding could be attempted. But what I wouldn't do is try to rush any of this. I would give Flo time to adjust to having another bunny there and give her time to get to know and trust him before even thinking about bonding.

I guess what I'm trying to say is to manage the situation for what it is for a while. That you are fostering another bunny, to help the rescue, to provide the other bunny with a garden to enjoy and to give Flo some company if she wants it. And to accept that for what it is and not to expect more. That will give you all, especially Flo, time to adjust.

When is he arriving?
 
It doesn't sound like there's any obligation to bond both rabbits. He has his own accommodation, and they can interact through the mesh of the run. He could be let out separately when Flo is inside. They both get some bunny company and he gets more attention than he would in the rescue. As a foster, he's not your ultimate responsibilty - you are just his daily slave. I wouldn't overthink it at the moment.
 
Thanks omi. As always and often, a balanced and honest sincere observation.
I think the plan long term is adoption. It’s the natural progression. Outside of that I don’t know but the arrival I think, going by what my wife was texting earlier, would be within the week. That’s pretty much all I know other than he’ll be about 18 months old and is white with black markings.
Craig.
 
Update. Our friend at the rescue centre is coming round at the weekend. As much as I know right now, she will bring round the foster bunny.I will deep clean the outside hutch, and reset it with fresh straw, hay and make sure it is secure and as much out of direct sunlight. The plan would be, I believe, to adopt the bunny. This is not the usual way we would do this but I believe that there is such pressure at the rescue centre now that this is seen as a way forward for everyone in the current circumstances.
I wont pretend I am not worried. Worried deeply. I have to protect this new bun, whilst also protecting Flo. I don't know how I am going to sort and manage this - my head is all over the place.
I'll keep the thread updated.
Craig
 
Goodness you have been/are going through so much. I really hope the new white with black markings rabbit brings you all some much needed joy at this difficult time.

I know it isnt the same but my poodle puppy Rusty really helped my mental health (extreme anxiety).
 
The rescue would not be offering you this bunny if they did not think highly of the care you give your bunnies.
Try not to get ahead of yourself. It can be hard , yet Even if they must wait for bonding, they will both have a wonderful home until then and a lifetime to be together later.
 
Try flipping the whole situation on it's head.

It may all work out beautifully, they may get along. If not, then a rethink of the situation. Whether you want to return the bunny or keep them separate.

Catastrophic thinking is the pits!

Good Luck and try to relax (easier said than done!) xx
 
As much as I know as of today, our friend at the rescue will be bringing our ‘foster’ bun this Sunday. Normally I would be excited but I’m afraid my emotions and mh right now are not positive and I’m just doing stuff every day because it’s ‘routine’.
I spend time with Flo and put my ‘happy mask’ on for her to make sure she feels part of us as best I can.
I’ll have to deep clean our external hutch tomorrow and I’ve got all new straw and hay for that. The foster bun is about 15-18 months and likes to socialise with humans. He’s been well cared for as much as I know.
But I know Flo will not react positively to this and it is pushing my anxiety levels to the limit. I’ve got to try and find a balance that gives new bun garden time to explore and have the freedom he needs but all the same time making sure Flo gets her time out but not I’m a way that will unsettle the new bun. I know flos behaviour and it may just end up pushing me over the top of my emotions.
I think the long term plan is to allow us to adopt the bunny but I have no local bonding support that can help until at least September or October and I really do not want to make the call back to the rescue centre to ask them to take the new bun back because they are already over full and they have trusted us to do this.
I’ll post an update on Sunday when we are settled as best we can be.
Craig.
 
Craig, you are a wonderful human being. I hope you realise that. I know it’s hard but please try and remove any extra pressure from yourself. You are doing an incredible thing by fostering another rabbit so soon, and the rabbit will be glad of the space, food and care you will give it. Anything else is a bonus. Flo has shown you before that she can adapt and bond, and I’m sure she will with this one too. But it doesn’t need to be straight away. Everything will work out one way or another but please go easy on yourself. You’re doing the best you can in what has been an incredibly difficult few years [emoji3590]


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I am going out on a limb hear and I hope it will be read as I intend it to mean. If you do not, in your heart of hearts, feel ready to take on another Rabbit then don’t do it. Maybe you all need more time and whilst of course the Rescue would benefit from having some space freed up you have to put your own situation first. You imply that Flo is going to be unsettled by a new Rabbit and that you are already teetering on the brink with coping. You have a serious issues to resolve regarding Veterinary Care and all the implications that would have.

Given all of the above my advice would be to take a step away for a few weeks and re-assess things then.
 
I am going out on a limb hear and I hope it will be read as I intend it to mean. If you do not, in your heart of hearts, feel ready to take on another Rabbit then don’t do it. Maybe you all need more time and whilst of course the Rescue would benefit from having some space freed up you have to put your own situation first. You imply that Flo is going to be unsettled by a new Rabbit and that you are already teetering on the brink with coping. You have a serious issues to resolve regarding Veterinary Care and all the implications that would have.

Given all of the above my advice would be to take a step away for a few weeks and re-assess things then.
Yea I agree tbh :(

I think I'd focus on finding an exotic specialist vet, because your current vets don't even follow standard procedure for exotic animal care :( without an exotic specialist vet having exotics doesn't work really :(

Sending hugs Craig I know this situation is so hard x

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There is no right and wrong regarding taking on this new rabbit. Go with your instincts. Being overwhelmed is no fun but I have found that my anxiety is good at showing me what not to take on as well as what I can cope with.

Hope that makes sense to you.
 
Perhaps an option would be to ask the Rescue to continue looking after the rabbit until you can book a bonding place, which I think you said would probably be September. This would give you more time to try to come to terms with losing Alfred, get everything prepared at home and an opportunity to seek out a new vet. I don’t think we ever get over losing a beloved pet but sometimes it helps if we can put the needs of another rabbit before our own, if that makes any sense.
Sending you hugs at such a sad and stressful time. X
 
I’d agree with Jane. I’d also say that I’m not far from you so if I can be of assistance, let me know. I’m not sure which rescue you’re using, but there are some less than ideal ones around here, and most decent ones are further away. Your priority on needs to be yourself and your family (which includes Flo).

I can also recommend you vets if needs be.

I know you don’t know me well, but someone like Jane will (I hope), have known me long enough to provide a ‘reference’. Or, if you are interested in chatting, we can do that too. I hear how alone you’re sounding and sometimes having a local rabbit friend can make the world of difference.
 
Yea I agree tbh :(

I think I'd focus on finding an exotic specialist vet, because your current vets don't even follow standard procedure for exotic animal care :( without an exotic specialist vet having exotics doesn't work really :(

Sending hugs Craig I know this situation is so hard x

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Just to put it out there, a good rabbit vet isn't necessary exotics trained and an exotics trained vet isn't necessarily a good rabbit vet.

I have never consulted an exotics vet with my rabbits, yet for 7 years my vet was the European and RCVS Recognised Specialist in Rabbit Medicine and Surgery.
 
I’d agree with Jane. I’d also say that I’m not far from you so if I can be of assistance, let me know. I’m not sure which rescue you’re using, but there are some less than ideal ones around here, and most decent ones are further away. Your priority on needs to be yourself and your family (which includes Flo).

I can also recommend you vets if needs be.

I know you don’t know me well, but someone like Jane will (I hope), have known me long enough to provide a ‘reference’. Or, if you are interested in chatting, we can do that too. I hear how alone you’re sounding and sometimes having a local rabbit friend can make the world of difference.

Craig, I have enormous respect for Sky-O and I can guarantee that she would give you great support and advice regarding your current situation.
 
Just to put it out there, a good rabbit vet isn't necessary exotics trained and an exotics trained vet isn't necessarily a good rabbit vet.

I have never consulted an exotics vet with my rabbits, yet for 7 years my vet was the European and RCVS Recognised Specialist in Rabbit Medicine and Surgery.

Very true! I've just never met a good normal vet for rabbits, they've always been exotics. But sure any rabbit savvy vet would be my priority! [emoji38]

Sounds like your vet basically is a specialist in rabbits!

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Very true! I've just never met a good normal vet for rabbits, they've always been exotics. But sure any rabbit savvy vet would be my priority! [emoji38]

Sounds like your vet basically is a specialist in rabbits!

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FHB was a rabbit specialist when there were only 3 in the UK. Ruth worked alongside her for many years & they still discuss difficult cases so she is super savvy & experienced but neither a specialist or exotics (AFAIK)
 
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