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Thank you.

Craig 1965

Warren Veteran
I'd just like to say a very heartfelt thank you to everyone who kindly took the time to read and to post on Alfreds rainbow bridge thread. Your comments were all so lovely and special. I read them still, but they make me very tearful.
I genuinely did not expect to have to write any tribute to Alfred for many many years. And whilst it has been only 2 weeks, I am still very much deep in shock and I am not coping well. My mind is full of so many questions - questions which sadly no one can answer and so I will forever have these questions. I feel in limbo so much now. Just over 2 weeks ago I had 2 beautiful bunnies running round the garden, binkeying and snoozing in the bushes. I had routine, I had purpose and I felt very much like life was just right. Flo was very much settled, very much more confident and there was a 2 way relationship with Flo and Alfred. And then that changed so suddenly, without warning. And that balance we all had has now gone. I cannot hold or see Alfred anymore and I miss the fact that he was part of our lives - all our lives. And I couldn't help him. I couldn't make him better and I don't understand why. Everything about this is something I don't understand and it just hurts so much.
I keep asking myself what I missed. I was Alfreds guardian. I cannot reverse time - I wish I could turn the clock back.
Each time, every time, it gets harder and harder. I try to move on - I know I must because it isn't hy heart that is important, it is Flo's. And as much as this is hurting me, it is hurting Flo more. I can see it in her body language. Her confidence is waining. She looks to go outside - she always followed Alfred who was super keen to go out. Flo now sits by the door, unsure where her companion is. She goes out - but she doesn't stay out as long as she used to. And I know that she will have to go through another bond with another companion and it is incredibly hard on her. Just as she has built up trust with us and found stability, there will have to be unstabililty again in her life.
I have reached out to a berevement councillor - but I have not found the answers or closures that I feel I need. So for me, moving on and forward is also even harder this time. I have lost all my confidence now because I have lost 3 beloved bunnies in 18 months and hy heart is broken and I don't know how or if I can fix it.
But I am grateful to everyone here who has provided the most wonderful genuine supportive thoughts and comments. They mean so much and they have helped me over the last 2 weeks. I just wish that I was not writing tribute posts and posts like these. I just feel utterly lost right now.
Sorry and thank you all for listening
Craig x
 
We are the ones who should be thanking you for sharing all the wonderful bunny photos and stories with us, and and allowing us to support you when your world changed without warning.
It is so difficult to not have answers why our beloved bunnies are called to the bridge too soon.
Please take comfort in knowing you gave him a wonderful home with wonderful loving care.

Yes, Flo is important, yet it is important to take care of yourself too.

Alfred, Flo and your other bunnies will always have a special place in our hearts.
 
I'm so sorry Craig, it's hard to hear how much you are hurting, and not be able to offer any words to make you feel better. I'm holding out a hand though, and hope that you know you are not alone xx
 
Craig, I'm so sorry I read this the other night & meant to reply sooner. I only wish I could find something comforting to say.
Its still such early days in your grief. Perhaps too early to put pressure on yourself to move on? I think if you can get through your daily tasks, carry on being a loving bunny dad to Flo & look after yourself thats more than enough. Give yourself the time you need.

You couldn't save Alfred because you're not a vet but you played your part & got him medical attention as soon as you saw him unwell (& your bunnies got a lot of supervision ! not just a few check ins, cos they are the heart of your home). That's what a good bunny owner does. If this had happened to me & I'd lost Alfred I don't think you'd be blaming me (in your head)?

Big hugs & gentle nose bumps for Flo x
 
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