Bonding older lady

Bun4Life said:

Thank you for the support, it’s really appreciated.

I’m sorry for your loss, seeing a bun left behind is almost worse than the loss itself so I hope things work out for Morgan & Bella. I’ve found it helpful to keep a diary, it reminds me not to give up when things are tricky. Good luck to you all xx

We had a tough night last night where C turned into a gremlin again. There didn’t seem to be any cause, it’s as if she gets to a certain time and has had enough of it all - which is understandable. After my second night of no sleep I was close to giving up this morning so had my partner take over the bonding for the day whilst I slept.

A change of hoomin and energy seems to have done some good as they had a much more positive day. C went back to ignoring A and A has stopped running away when C lunges which has taken a lot of the tension out. C chose to lie closer to her and eat with her a few times and she now lets A pass without automatically threatening her. At one point A even cleaned C. A is now allowed to sleep on C’s blanket and the incessant pooping seems to have stopped.

This evening, for the first time all 3 were lying together. C had her back to A and was fast asleep snoring.

A&B have been wonderfully cuddly. She was leaning on him to steady herself while she cleaned and stole some herbs out of his mouth which he gladly gave up [emoji1] She will now seek him out and go and lie with him rather than be alone. She gets cold quickly and he’s keen on tight squeeze cuddles so it works well for them both. It’s very sweet and he’s like the cat that got the cream with all of his ladies (including me) loving him. He’s a lionhead with a long mane that they both enjoy cleaning, each time I see him he seems to have it styled differently!

Tonight, at around the same point again, C has started to return to her gremlin ways being snappy and controlling where A can go. She’s a strange beast but I know she’s trying her best and it must be difficult sharing her husbun. I’m amazed with A’s patience with it all, she couldn’t do more than she is.

It’ll be one week today that we started bonding and this is our third night session. I’m hoping we won’t be spending Christmas in the spare room

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Bun4Life said:

Good luck with getting any sleep in the bonding room [emoji1] I swear mine wait for me to get settled and then start their funny business.

We’ve had a strange 24 hours. B&C have completely ignored A. They’ve been acting as they would downstairs without her - cuddling each other, napping together and playing etc. A has really tried her best to squeeze in on the action and has been following C around. She’s like her shadow and will follow her from blanket to blanket wanting to be next to her.

Obviously C hates it. She keeps telling her off for following and moves away. A will then leave it a few minutes before following again.

A was eating her hay with her back to C while she was sleeping. C woke up, did a bit stretch and squeezed in between A and the wall to share her hay. It was like she forgot they were feuding but then snapped back into reality after a few minutes and chased A off.

At another point, C was sleeping and A crept closer and closer to her like a ninja, stopping every time C looked at her. She got next to C and rested her head against hers. C jumped up and lunged before then doing a full roll over back to sleep. Undeterred, A rolled into her which made C freak out and chase her off again. She is allowing A to sleep on her blanket though and they’ve shared all meals today.

It’s very difficult to watch her trying so hard but left out all of the time.

B has spent a record amount of time sleeping, probably recovering from all of the excitement. He’s been keeping more to himself today and letting his women come to him when they want him.

We heard back from the rescue and can go and see a suitable older gentleman rabbit this weekend if we want to. It’s such a tough decision. I don’t know if this indifference is a step forwards or backwards so hoping they’ll give me an indication tonight on what they want to do.

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Bun4Life said:

Thank you for your kind words.

We’ve had some developments. We reached the point where B&C were keeping themselves totally separate from A and full on ignoring her. Every time A would approach C would chase her away. It was as if they’d drawn an invisible line in the room that she wasn’t allowed to cross. B was then acting strangely and went off his food. He wasn’t himself at all, not wanting to cuddle or play. We took him to the vets with C and he seemed to perk up. The vet couldn’t find anything immediately obvious and so suggested ending the bonding as it could be the stress.

I separated B&C from A and almost immediately B began to return to his normal self. They both relaxed and it was obvious how tired and worked up they were.

A caught up on some sleep and still wouldn’t venture past the invisible line for the day she spent alone. We then got a call from the rescue asking if we could urgently collect an older male. He was a house rabbit and his owner had given him up due to (the owner’s) ill health. He was struggling in the rescue and they wanted to find him an indoor home with a lady friend.

So that’s how we’ve ended up with D. D is around 5 but acts like a kit. He’s a big fluffy neutered lionhead who has never had a rabbit friend. He has a lovely temperament but can get easily over excited. This manifests as him zooming into things and trying to hump or climb everything.

I cleaned out the neutral room and separated an area for D then brought A back in. They had brilliant fence contact with him cleaning her through it. He got EXTREMELY excited at the sight of her and couldn’t control himself from binking and zooming and spraying everything. She liked the attention but kept cool. By the end of the day they were sleeping alongside each other with the fence between them.

We then let them meet in the bathroom, this went very well. A got thoroughly cleaned and D was very floppy and cuddly. We moved them into the neutral room and they spent 24 hours getting on perfectly.

Out of nowhere A was getting cleaned and had her head tucked under D’s tummy, as they had done several times, and she bit him. This made him latch on to her back and they were both gripped on to each other doing that awful circle of doom thing. No one was injured fortunately although D had some fur pulled. I got several cuts to the hands.

Since then, A has been very jumpy and will react to him running to her/zooming/binking/spraying/cleaning her back. We’ve had no more bites due to me intervening but when she does growl and go to nip, D will poise himself ready to launch into a brawl.

It’s incredibly stressful and confusing. They both still sleep and snuggle together, A is getting cleaned lots and they share food. Just every now and then when he gets excited it has the potential to turn into a nasty fight.

I’m not sure where to go from here. I could separate them with a fence but that seems a shame as the cuddles would stop. I could leave them together but they require 24 hour supervision which is very difficult, especially with Christmas coming up.

(B&C are back to their usual happy selves downstairs. Although they do run from the door to upstairs whenever I open it).

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Bun4Life said:

Thank you for your kind words.

We’ve had some developments. We reached the point where B&C were keeping themselves totally separate from A and full on ignoring her. Every time A would approach C would chase her away. It was as if they’d drawn an invisible line in the room that she wasn’t allowed to cross. B was then acting strangely and went off his food. He wasn’t himself at all, not wanting to cuddle or play. We took him to the vets with C and he seemed to perk up. The vet couldn’t find anything immediately obvious and so suggested ending the bonding as it could be the stress.

I separated B&C from A and almost immediately B began to return to his normal self. They both relaxed and it was obvious how tired and worked up they were.

A caught up on some sleep and still wouldn’t venture past the invisible line for the day she spent alone. We then got a call from the rescue asking if we could urgently collect an older male. He was a house rabbit and his owner had given him up due to (the owner’s) ill health. He was struggling in the rescue and they wanted to find him an indoor home with a lady friend.

So that’s how we’ve ended up with D. D is around 5 but acts like a kit. He’s a big fluffy neutered lionhead who has never had a rabbit friend. He has a lovely temperament but can get easily over excited. This manifests as him zooming into things and trying to hump or climb everything.

I cleaned out the neutral room and separated an area for D then brought A back in. They had brilliant fence contact with him cleaning her through it. He got EXTREMELY excited at the sight of her and couldn’t control himself from binking and zooming and spraying everything. She liked the attention but kept cool. By the end of the day they were sleeping alongside each other with the fence between them.

We then let them meet in the bathroom, this went very well. A got thoroughly cleaned and D was very floppy and cuddly. We moved them into the neutral room and they spent 24 hours getting on perfectly.

Out of nowhere A was getting cleaned and had her head tucked under D’s tummy, as they had done several times, and she bit him. This made him latch on to her back and they were both gripped on to each other doing that awful circle of doom thing. No one was injured fortunately although D had some fur pulled. I got several cuts to the hands.

Since then, A has been very jumpy and will react to him running to her/zooming/binking/spraying/cleaning her back. We’ve had no more bites due to me intervening but when she does growl and go to nip, D will poise himself ready to launch into a brawl.

It’s incredibly stressful and confusing. They both still sleep and snuggle together, A is getting cleaned lots and they share food. Just every now and then when he gets excited it has the potential to turn into a nasty fight.

I’m not sure where to go from here. I could separate them with a fence but that seems a shame as the cuddles would stop. I could leave them together but they require 24 hour supervision which is very difficult, especially with Christmas coming up.

(B&C are back to their usual happy selves downstairs. Although they do run from the door to upstairs whenever I open it).

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Clair071085 said:

Hi, how is the bonding situation going? Xx


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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Bun4Life said:

Hi Clair, thank you for your support. Apologies for not updating sooner, it's been quite a stressful time with a bit of covid thrown in too :roll:

It's been 4 weeks now and we're still having the same problems. A&D have been bonding daily every day since my last post. A goes to her room of an evening to get a full sleep and there's a fence at her door where D can visit. He will sleep in his own room and come check on her regularly throughout the night. There has been no nipping/aggression through the fence.

Each morning, the fence gate is opened and A takes herself to the bonding room swiftly followed by D. When they meet in there, D is excited and will do a few binks. A is keen for cuddles and kisses so will snuggle into him and bow her head. He will give a few kisses before the excitement gets too much and he has to bink more. They then settle for the day.

They eat together and share food with no problems. They will sleep properly with each other. A does some lovely flop rolls into him and seems to really enjoy his warmth (she is a tiny thing). D is also a flop monster and will sleep almost on his back. They will lounge, groom each other, snuggle, explore together etc. I introduced toys and took away a bathroom so they were left with just one - no issues, they play well together and there has been zero dominance over toilets/food/toys/blankets.

The issue we're still having, and the reason they're still supervised the entire time, is D doesn't seem to be able to control himself at times. When he first latched on to A's back in that first week, he caused a scratch which scabbed over. Since then, when he cleans A, he will gradually move to the same spot on her back and nibble at the spot. D usually firstly responds by backing up so that her head is positioned under his again to redirect his cleans. When it happens again, she either gets annoyed and walks away or she will give him a warning nip. Some times it's left there and he'll lower his head and settle. Other times, he will chase after her trying to grab on to her back. This will then result in A spinning around to warn him off, he snaps back and they tussle.

On 4 occasions, he has charged at her and pinned her, fell to his side and kicked her. They will both latch on and seem to grip on to fur as opposed to skin. Neither has suffered more than a scratch. After each fight or tussle, they will be separated but immediately try to get to each other. Then, when they're back together, A asks for a clean and D will give it before wanting to snuggle. They'll then settle nicely.

I try to stop D each time he tries to "clean" the spot on her back but he is relentless. As a result, they need watching constantly.

In all my years of bunny bonding, I've never had anything like this. 4 weeks in and they appear bonded but have the potential to erupt so need constant supervision. I'm not sure how to progress beyond this point. I've thought it could be boredom with D so I've tried playing with him whenever he starts to get manic about cleaning her. I've considered putting a cape on A so that her back is covered :lol: I've groomed her back fully to make sure there is nothing there to pick at. I've tried distracting D with treats, grooming him, stroking him, making noises - everything that I can think of.

At this rate, I can't see that we will ever reach a point where they can be left unsupervised. I'm reluctant to give up on them as when they're good, they're brilliant. My little A has been through so much lately too and seems to enjoy being settled with him. As you say, if they hated each other then there wouldn't be so much positivity.

I wish I had taken her bunny bonding but as there was only one bun available for adoption and she got on well with him straight away, we likely would have ended up with the same situation.

Gah! They really do know how to test us these buns

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Bun4Life said:

Hi Clair, thank you for your support. Apologies for not updating sooner, it's been quite a stressful time with a bit of covid thrown in too :roll:

It's been 4 weeks now and we're still having the same problems. A&D have been bonding daily every day since my last post. A goes to her room of an evening to get a full sleep and there's a fence at her door where D can visit. He will sleep in his own room and come check on her regularly throughout the night. There has been no nipping/aggression through the fence.

Each morning, the fence gate is opened and A takes herself to the bonding room swiftly followed by D. When they meet in there, D is excited and will do a few binks. A is keen for cuddles and kisses so will snuggle into him and bow her head. He will give a few kisses before the excitement gets too much and he has to bink more. They then settle for the day.

They eat together and share food with no problems. They will sleep properly with each other. A does some lovely flop rolls into him and seems to really enjoy his warmth (she is a tiny thing). D is also a flop monster and will sleep almost on his back. They will lounge, groom each other, snuggle, explore together etc. I introduced toys and took away a bathroom so they were left with just one - no issues, they play well together and there has been zero dominance over toilets/food/toys/blankets.

The issue we're still having, and the reason they're still supervised the entire time, is D doesn't seem to be able to control himself at times. When he first latched on to A's back in that first week, he caused a scratch which scabbed over. Since then, when he cleans A, he will gradually move to the same spot on her back and nibble at the spot. D usually firstly responds by backing up so that her head is positioned under his again to redirect his cleans. When it happens again, she either gets annoyed and walks away or she will give him a warning nip. Some times it's left there and he'll lower his head and settle. Other times, he will chase after her trying to grab on to her back. This will then result in A spinning around to warn him off, he snaps back and they tussle.

On 4 occasions, he has charged at her and pinned her, fell to his side and kicked her. They will both latch on and seem to grip on to fur as opposed to skin. Neither has suffered more than a scratch. After each fight or tussle, they will be separated but immediately try to get to each other. Then, when they're back together, A asks for a clean and D will give it before wanting to snuggle. They'll then settle nicely.

I try to stop D each time he tries to "clean" the spot on her back but he is relentless. As a result, they need watching constantly.

In all my years of bunny bonding, I've never had anything like this. 4 weeks in and they appear bonded but have the potential to erupt so need constant supervision. I'm not sure how to progress beyond this point. I've thought it could be boredom with D so I've tried playing with him whenever he starts to get manic about cleaning her. I've considered putting a cape on A so that her back is covered :lol: I've groomed her back fully to make sure there is nothing there to pick at. I've tried distracting D with treats, grooming him, stroking him, making noises - everything that I can think of.

At this rate, I can't see that we will ever reach a point where they can be left unsupervised. I'm reluctant to give up on them as when they're good, they're brilliant. My little A has been through so much lately too and seems to enjoy being settled with him. As you say, if they hated each other then there wouldn't be so much positivity.

I wish I had taken her bunny bonding but as there was only one bun available for adoption and she got on well with him straight away, we likely would have ended up with the same situation.

Gah! They really do know how to test us these buns

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