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Bonding older lady

Bun4Life

Young Bun
Hello

I posted recently about my older lady, 10 years, having a large lump removed. She not only survived the surgery but it seemed to knock 8 years off her and she come out with the energy (and mischievousness) of her 2 year old self.

Anyway, after going through all of that, her husbun of 4 years passed away suddenly. He was the kind of bun to always have some sort of health issue but his death was a complete shock. He had been off his food for just a few hours (normal for him). He nibbled some hay, went to bed, checked on him an hour later and he had died. He was lying peacefully next to his heat pad and wife.

This will be the third husbun she’s outlived now. I don’t know how she does it but she seems ok in herself, if a little bored. She has the best temperament, she’s very calm and I’ve never seen her show any kind of aggression to other buns.

My issue is what to do next. We have a separate pair who live downstairs. They’re completely loved up, very settled into their routine and have the full run of downstairs plus garden. They take themselves out each day and come in for the evening. The male of the pair would definitely accept my older lady but I’m not sure about the female. She can be a tad unpredictable but she is the sweetest thing and loves to care for everyone. She cleans us all whenever she’s near.

My older lady lives upstairs and isn’t keen on the garden. She has a very comfortable setup with lots of blankets. She’s very much a cosy rabbit.

If I bond them, someone is moving from up or downstairs. I worry about unsettling anyone. Having a 3some would work well for us in terms of care/feeding etc. It would offer some protection should one pass away. But is it what is best for them?

Do I try and bond them?

Do I get her another friend?

I’m terrified of her suffering stress or injury in the process. I won’t do anything immediately, I’ll give her time to adjust. I just don’t know what’s best.
 
I am sorry for your recent loss. Before you do anything can you be as sure as possible that his passing was not due to RHD. Was he fully vaccinated and are all your other Rabbits fully vaccinated ?
 
Hi Inspector!

Thank you.

Yes they’re all vaccinated.

He had several health issues so his death wasn’t a huge surprise, the thing we’re struggling with is how it happened. He would normally go through a similar process each time before getting back to health. This time, it felt like he had barely begun that process. I guess we always assumed we’d have a lot of notice with him before it happened but I’m glad he was spared days or weeks of pain. I’m comforted by how we found him, he looked peaceful.
 
I'm so sorry your bunny died :cry:

Regarding whether or not to get another partner for your Doe or try her with your other couple is difficult. Personally I think I would leave the couple as they are, particularly as they seem to have different interests. Also though it is often difficult with trios, as one bunny will sometimes get left out as bit. I think if it were me, I would try to find an older Buck to bond with her. There are older Bucks in rescues and they are often slow to be rehomed.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do and I'm glad that the surgery for your Doe was very successful.
 
Thank you both.

The different interests is a huge concern. I don’t want her left home alone whilst they play out in the garden. Equally I don’t her to be outside if she doesn’t want to be there.

If we go down the route of getting a new partner, it would definitely be an older gentleman.

She was once in a trio. Her first husbun fell for another man (don’t they all?!) and she accepted it.
 
I wouldn't try the trio, the pair do sound very happy and I wouldn't want to risk ruining it. I'd be looking for an older bun :) I've had a couple now, current newest one (been here almost a week) we have no idea how old he is but Chibbs seems happy enough with him and he's happy here so that's what was important to us :)
 
Hi all, so I contacted all (3) of the rescues around us and haven’t had much luck. One (RSPCA) said they don’t have any rabbits as they don’t have housing available for them. The next place said they didn’t have any suitable rabbits available. The oldest rabbit at the final place is 2 and their rehoming process is taking several weeks due to lack of volunteers/covid and because Christmas is coming up we can expect it to take longer.

We’ve put our names down just to get the ball rolling but we’re not having much luck.

In the meantime, my lady (A) was beginning to show signs of loneliness - head resting on bathroom, bored, cuddling up to soft toys etc. So I decided to put a barrier between upstairs and down to at least allow her to see some buns. They’ve had barriers up before and never bothered with each other.

The male of the bonded pair (B) showed an instant interest. They mirror cleaned, ate together, he cleaned her head through the bars and flopped into the gate next to her. The female of the bonded pair (C) showed some aggression but quickly seemed to get over it. She didn’t hang around much and found better things to do.

After a while I decided to move it into the spare room (neutral space). I thought if they bond, great. If not, we’re on the rescue’s waiting list. If at any point anyone gets upset or the bonded pair are aggressive to each other then I’d stop it.

A is a very nervous bun so tested B a few times by jumping over him and stomping. He was unperturbed by it. They’ve progressed very well and he’s ready to crack on with being her friend but she’s cautious and not allowing it yet. They eat together, he cleans her and rolls into her. He gets annoyed at her not being as keen as he is and will honk after her, this makes her reluctant to settle close to him but they do share a blanket.

A & C aren’t doing as well. C is the dominant bun and A will allow that as she’s very submissive, we’re just having trouble getting there. I’m probably not helping matters because I intervene whenever they get close in case C stresses A out. She is 10 after all.

B & C are unchanged, their relationship has stayed the same and they’re very loved up.

Our sessions last for the afternoon and then everyone goes their own way to settle for the evening. No one is showing signs of stress or unhappiness. We’ve had no injuries (thank god) not even so much as fur pulled (touch wood). They all bring themselves into the spare room for the sessions too.

Any tips on how to progress A & C? Usually I’d allow the dominant bun to do a bit of a chase and bum nipping (just fur) but I can’t have that with my 10 year old lady. We’re currently at a bit of a impasse where A & C sleep/eat at opposite sides of the room (about 2 feet apart) but choose not to interact at all. B splits his time between the 2 or settles in the middle.
 
It sounds ok so far and worth carrying on as you are. There is highly likely to be some chasing and fur pulling at some point. Just make sure they all have spaces they can go for a bit of peace if they need it. They have to sort it out amongst themselves. I find tunnels are quite useful as it stops the chase. If 2 of them continue to basically tolerate each other, that's still a better outcome than one lonely old lady bunny. They will probably reduce the distance between them over time.

There's no guarantee that bonding her with a new bun will be any easier, so I would continue with a trio and see how it goes. You still have that option if it's needed.
 
Thank you Shimmer. I need to be a bit braver.

We finished today’s session and I opened the door for the couple to leave thinking A would stay back and be hesitant like she previously has but she ran alongside them as if she was going downstairs with them. C didn’t care for it and tried to chase and nip her. Obviously I lost my bottle and protected A but she didn’t seem to know it was happening and hopped on into her bedroom.
 
Some progress today in that B cleaned A for quite a while and she then felt comfortable enough to snuggle into him for a sleep. He loved it.

A was also doing lots of flop rolls and sleeping with her back to the couple. She was snoring at one point.

C is still very wary but sat on A’s blanket and stole her food a few times with her back to A. She sat for a stroke next to A but kept a close eye on her the whole time.

At one point A went and sat on C’s blanket (across the room) and C lunged at a distance but then ate her treats.

B was honking after C which made her run and both of them landed on A’s blanket while she was sprawled out sleeping. A didn’t move, just let them get on with it.

At one point there was a loud noise outside which spooked A and made her run to C for comfort. C wasn’t keen and chased her away.

It helps to make a note of things as one bad encounter can make me forget all of the progress. My main positive of today is that A was comfy enough to have full floppy sleeps and got a vigorous clean from a very handsome boy.
 
Thank you.

We had huge progress today. C went and sat with A to eat and then groomed her head. She then calmly left to have a nap before returning again to eat with her. She groomed her a couple more times after that.

The trouble is, C is a real clean freak. She will groom B until he’s spotless and she loves nothing more than getting sleep out of his eyes. A has a scar under her eye that she had when we adopted her. It tends to collect a lot of sleep so obviously C is like a kid in a sweet shop when she gets to it. She tried a couple of times to vigorously clean it which spooked A and made her dart away. This alarms C and she chases trying to nip.

A&B are basically (1st stage) bonded. The only issue there is A learning that when B has finished in the toilet he likes to zoom out and do some binks. This freaks her out currently and causes her to dart but I think she’s slowly becoming less jumpy.

So basically A is jumpy because she’s not used to their ways and B&C are reacting to A being jumpy.

The 3 have spent some time eating and hanging out on the same blanket so we’re doing our first overnight session tonight. Wish me luck!
 
lots of luck. It really sounds like they are doing well so far and just getting used to each others quirks. I hope it works out for everybun
 
I'm really pleased for you. This sounds as though they are all just taking some time to get used to each other and should soon calm down I think.
 
Thank you for the support. We survived it!

So it was all going well leading up to midnight until we all settled down and C seemed to revert back to her day 1 ways of being tense and staring at A, lunging whenever she moved and keeping her distance. It was really strange and I can’t put my finger on the switch.

C found a toy to play with around this time which A then played with a while later, I wondered if that could have done it so removed it. Or maybe because C has a settled bedtime routine with B that she couldn’t have (he was splitting his time), it made her resentful. I don’t know.

So we spent the night with C one side of the room and A the other. Any attempts to encourage them to eat together or settle together were refused by C. A then went back to being very nervous and not leaving her blanket. C also went back to defecating all over the place. Whenever A did try to leave her blanket, C would chase and nip.

A&B were big old cuddle bears though. They seem very comfortable with each other now.

I’m not sure what to do next. I wasn’t expecting to be back at day 1 with two of them. I think we could all do with a big sleep!
 
I still think this sounds as though they are working through their trust issues and tbh I would just continue as you have been doing. I would remove anything that anyone could claim territory over, like the toy. And good luck!
 
I hope so. It would be a shame to have come this far to then give up. We haven’t heard back from the rescue yet either.

I don’t know what did it but C seemed to relax completely a couple of hours ago. Her whole demeanour changed back to how it was previously, she doesn’t look tense and her ears are back to being relaxed. She’s now stopped the chasing and lunging. I have no idea what made her change, it doesn’t coincide with anything I can think of. She’s a complete mystery today.

She’s now back to ignoring A but in a good way; eating with her back to A, sleeping with her bum in A’s face etc. A has lost the tiny bit confidence she had built with her which is understandable. She’s doing everything she can to show she’s not a threat.

I’m feeling hopeful again but it’s a real rollercoaster!
 
Hi, I really enjoyed reading all about the bunnies [emoji846] & the bonding experience so far. I have 2 buns Morgan a rescued boy & Bella who list her bonded female companion. They are currently living side by side with barrier till new year to try bonding. It sounds to me like things are going well & not overly concerning. There’s not been a fight which happened with my 2 the first time (bellas very fiesty) I’m not experienced but it seems like it’s not going to bad. I can imagine the worry & especially with an older bun. It was so lovely to read the positives between her & your boy & also between the 2 girls at times. I think she will enjoy the company of the other 2 although a bit scared at times as you said. I think that it sounds like it could work out but may take some time for the other lady to share her man lol. I really hope it works out for you & the 3 bunnies. Perhaps they will all be in an open relationship [emoji23] happily together sharing their husband. It would be lovely to hear that they settle into a bonded 3. Good luck & hoping it works out for you xx


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