hi everyone,
my name is emlyn and i am still in a state of shock 4 weeks on.i rarely cry due to how i process and understand emotion-i was in hell inside but my outside self doesnt show it, so some of my support staff think i am a pyschopath and treated me as one.

my beatufiul, very cheeky, and incredibly funny 7+ yr old lionhead binky died from gut stasis,her sister had had this to at 3 yrs old but survived it,only to die less than a year later,me and my staff back then both colapsed in shock and upset when we found her dead that morning.

ill explain a bit and it may help,i am severelyy disabled, i am classic autistic,epileptic, physicaly disabled (caused by over restraint),and have mild intelectual disability. i spent most of my life not interacting or communicating with humans but from a young age i interacted with animals-they didnt need speech, they took me for who i was.
ihave lived in secure residential care since 18 and i have always wanted animals in my life, unfortunately in those places you dont get the chance but about 7 years ago i lived in a supported living care home which allowed me to get two buns, so i first tried to go with a rescue centre, and i was going to take two of their longest stay senior quite scared rabbits from them-because i had always known what it was like to be unwanted due to lack of understanding-i had been moved from so many different residential homes as staff didnt understand my behaviors or me, i wanted to give the buns a loving forever home where i expected nothing from them, i wanted to look after them and keep them safe.
unfortunately the charity came and were not happy with my set up, i had a huge double deluxe hutch, a runaround system including an 8 foot pipe ajoining the hutch to a huge runaround run, and the huge 2 acre garden was completely secure so they had the run of it and it was bun safe-no holes,fully secure,no plants growing (although i did have mint in big pots on the floor lol), the charity lady said she wanted the smoking shed turned into a play centre for the rabbits otherwise i cant have them-and unfortunately i cant control the organisation who runs the home and tell them (let alone the staff who smoked) that the smokers shed is now a rabbits play home-it wasnt my property.#
they woudnt move on this, so eventualy-after i had developed this relationship with these beautiful senior buns,i had to say bye as i coudnt get them.

so after coming to terms with the situation, i decided to go to a pets at home, i wanted rescue and hard to home buns, but we were stumped where to go.
so i thought i will find a pets at home who only have two buns left (i didnt wanrt to split any buns up,i just coudnt do it) and i ended up with two absolutely stunning lionhead X buns- i called them binky and mabel.
binky was very pasionate is all i can say, if she had something on her mind,like you were putting your hand in the hutch to clean it, she woud head butt your hand to try get it out, she woud never nip you though.
she used to sit on my back when she was young and just chill out there while mabel was sat on my knee or hunting out mint.
mabel was a very sweet,shy kind of bun, but it was because binkys personality was just so big,they got on together very well apart from feeding them.....binky woud hump mabel in the face or another part of her and it was purely a domination thing over food,mabel woud sit there eating her food and not give a stuff.

i got kicked out of that residential home for having a meltdown in my bedroom-it was absolutely laughable, i was forced to stay in unsuitable respite miles away i coudnt come out of the room as it was all steps which i coudnt use, and they were all people i didnt even know, my old place also had my manual wheel chair and woudnt let my staff come pick it up,and worst of all they put an illegal block on me being able to come near the area-i didnt have the capacity to be arrested,i hadnt been ASBOd or done anything to deserve it, ,i wasnt able to feed my buns, to look after them, to clean them.
luckily my dad lives not far from them and he went and did it one day,while my mum woud do the next day and sometimes some of the rabbit loving support staff woud do it. absolutely disgusting that my buns coudnt get the care they needed, plus i was being denied interaction with my babies,my behaviors and mood quickly went downhill.

months later,i was offered a new facility and my buns were back but very soon after,mabel had developed gut stasis and i saved her life by feeding her certain rabbit friendly baby food seveal times a day, and giving her acess to a vegetable my dad grows in his allotment called fennel (not the white bulb,he cut all the green bits off for me)-it got her gut working again.
poor mabel died though less than a year later and i believe it was due to the poor diet and stress while i wasnt there.i have never forgiven myself or the company who support me.
they shut that home down 4 months after i got kicked out ssaying it was unsuitable for people with complex autism.

so i found a charity that had buns needing homes, and there was a person known as the rabbit lady,who offered to bond binky with a young 1 yr old shy young lady they had named linda-she took binky for the time needed and brought me a loving couple, but i changed linda to luna-a similar sounding name so she woudnt get confused with different sounds.

i still dearly love binky and love luna so much but binky went downhill very quickly with gut stasis,and she was PTS on my knee in a late night 24/7 vets, i miss her so much, i asked to have her cremated and have had her ashes put in a rabbit shaped urn so it just looks like a bronze ornament of a rabbit, i sit her on the chair with me.

shes settled down a lot now, and isnt stressed anymore,so i have started to think about getting luna another bun friend who is more like herself than binky, as binky was....to pasionate about things on her mind or how she felt so i feel she needs a more laid back friend.
however, i have ran into difficulties, 'the rabbit lady' at the charity i got luna from has retired from it and i cant bond rabbits myself due to my disabilities and lack of neutral housing.
i am just wondering......where do i go from here? is there anyone in-or knows of anyone in manchester who rescues buns and does bonding? i know its not a quick process, but its been on my mind for some time now and you guys-ie people pasionate about our buns and animals in general are the only people i know who care as much as i do about buns and animals in general.

thankyou so much if you get this far!