Observations of Flo.

Craig, Lillian's passing was such a shock to us and so must have been ten fold to you. You are so not needy, just a good bunny dad.

Susan hated humans when she first came and would stamp and back off, she could go as fast backward as forward. She is still massively sensitive if you touch her whiskers and will rear up to go for you - is that boxing? Susan had been used as a breeding meat rabbit. She can still be "funny" if you catch her whiskers. She also would eat anything when she first came - now she is a little more select!

Rups eats cardboard, but he also eats cat food and wallpaper and etc etc etc, he came from a hoarder. I think he didnt know where his next meal was coming from, he struggling to put weight on might be either his breed or his history. If I didnt take the cardboard off him he would make himself poorly with it.

Susan is now a Smoozan and loves a snug, bridge bunny Dilly has helped her be more confident and Rups is continuing this. I hope that Flo will learn to lean on Leo and come to trust you and learn that she will be well fed and cared for. It takes time and you are more than capable of helping her overcome her past.
Dont be so hard on yourself - we all have confidence in you. x

How's things today Craig?

dollyanna said:

How's things today Craig?

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Thank you for asking Dollyanna. Well, I am rather sad to admit that I felt very deflated this morning. I'm struglling badly with all this and this morning I came down and Flo was digging away at the carpet base near the window to the dining room (she's in the kitchen/diner). There were tufts of carpet and she was trying to get between the plastic carry box and the PVC frame by digging and scratching and chewing the carpet. It all really got too much for me and I resigned myself to the fact that I simply could not keep little Flo safe from harm and that is a complete failure. She cannot come to harm and I just felt like I was losing the battle with her. Having removed all the cardboard boxes (the last one removed late last night as she was still chomping through it), I just resigned myself to the fact that there's too much going on inside her and I'm already struggling with the loss of Lillian and on top of that, Leo is kind of confined to the loving room and he's frustrated. I felt very very low. There's just something not adding up with Flo from her background.
My wife contacted our rabbit sitter who works at the rescue and told her because I was forming the view that I was placing her in harm and in my view the safest thing for Flo would be to return her. Obviously our rabbit sitter was shocked and upset at this as obviously it's a failure of all the systems, not just on Flo.
I did some moving about of the kitchen/diner stuff and moved Flo's big plastic hay/toilet area back against the PVC window frame where she had been chewing the carpet and put a brick there to stop her scrabbling behind it as she has this determined streak to get behind to this area. I just fel so low.
The snow started and she sat by the outer door so I decided to spend the entire day with her. If it was the last day with her then at least she'd have that memory to take. I grabbed a sleeping bag cause the door was open and the kitchen was freezing and she sat and ate and I tried sitting with her and stroking her and she's letting me do that more freely.
She went outside and we've had some time in the snow and she's clearly only gone out because I went out - she could have gone out any time but chose to do so when I went out and then pretty much went where I went. She was happy to be close to me.
And now I'm all confused. She's not dug any more by the carpet or chewed since I blocked the area off and it's almost as though she's starting to feel settled but it can't have happened that quickly. She's not displayed any more boxing today and is happy to accept strokes whilst she is eating - something normally they don't like.
So I'm totally beat. I'm confused and I want whats best for everyone but I'm also acutely aware of my responsibilities to Flo and I cannot allow her to be in a position where she can come to harm - even accidental. She's very much liked sitting by the open door and watching and feeling the cold.
She is a young bun - 2-3 years old and maybe I'm being too harsh on her. I do understand that she has had so much disruption in the last 4 weeks and she must be emotionally confused and just looking for stability.
I'm going to try to persevere with her but it's pushing my stress levels all over the place and I'm just very sad about everything.
Craig

Oh bless you.

I think you're very much just not ready for another bunny and doing this for Leo and it's so hard.

Leo will get used to being in his new space with the new confines and he knows you are there and love him to pieces. You've just got to hold in your mind that in the long run another companion is best for him.

And Flo will learn I'm sure. Learning what dangerous things new bunnies are attracted to is hard and they're all so different!

Rodney is our first carpet muncher and that came as an awful shock as we'd not seen it before. It took some time to work out what worked for discouraging and what didn't.

And the amount of times I think I've bunny proofed something and Primrose managed to get into it anyway! They're always testing boundaries that way.

You're doing your best for her and it sounds like it's going really well even if you're not feeling that way.

Did the rescue say how Flo reacted to the other buns in rescue? I wonder if your set up could accomadate side by side living that might benefit them? So they can interact and bond through barriers and have some bunny company.

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Oh Craig, please hang in there. Ive seen the videos, and then came here to read your post - I wonder if she actually just needed to know that she wasn't going to be restricted, and that you would just give her space to be herself, and that simple change has been enough for her to be able to relax a little?
It is so so so incredibly hard to take in an animal when you are not ready. It makes everything so much harder - things like carpet digging and all the effort you have to go to to keep her safe feel like impossible mountains, because it adds stress to your life when you don't really want her in th first place. But that's ok, it doesn't mean you can't do a good job, and it doesn't mean it won't change for you. You maybe feel guilty for the odd moment that you enjoy with her, but that's ok too. You clearly throw everything you have into your rabbits, which is wonderful but it means when you don't have feelings for them it seems so much effort - and you are probably still exhausted from caring and worrying about Lillian too. It probably feels like having this stranger in your house is the last thing you want or need. And the similarities may make all this even harder.
But Leo needs a friend, and yes it means his life is upset for a short while too, but he'll be happy in the long run. He's waiting for his chance to share what Lillian taught him about being a bonded bunny. And it won't be too long before you have the joy of watching them together and knowing you did the right thing. Just keep going, you've got this, you can do it.

Stress is cruel. We humans often over think. Flo will be living in the moment. She sounds like a perfectly normal doe. They love to dig. I thought I heard Dusty ripping up the carpet last night and got very anxious. Turned out not to be the case. Have put some boxes in for her today to keep her interested and have ordered willow sticks from Fluffers.

I really hope that you and Flo can relax and gel together. It must be so so hard so soon after losing Lillian.

I love your posts they are so tender and respectful. The animals in your care are very fortunate.

Thank you everybun. I feel in a world of isolation - but that's more of grief than anything else.
Today has been a steep learning curve for me and at 6pm I think we may have worked out the problem with Flo - something so obvious but we've missed it the last 2 days because we're very much doing things 'as they were'.
I've sat in the kitchen all day with Flo. It's been chuffin freezin and I've been in my sleeping bag with thermals and all sorts. Why? Becaue Flo has sat by the outer door and wanting it open. She has just bunny loafed despite the bitter wind and snow blowing in the kitchen (I kid you not). Whenever I've gone to shut the door (mainly cause i'd be warmer sitting in the fridge). Flo has reacted and changed - and behaviour wise, indicated to me that she wants the door open.
I closed the door at 5pm as it was dark and bloomin cold, and Flo just kept sitting bunny loaf right next to the door - giving her a view of the outside.
At 5:30 I put the thick thermal roll along the whole pation door and drew the curtains which completely shut out the view. But we've done this every winter as it keeps the warm in.
Immediately Flo's behaviour changed. Like the flick of a switch. She got restless, started to try to get behind the toilet area, started pushing stuff around and just got generally restless. Which is odd because she should have began to wind down. I watched it and watched it and just felt my stress levels going up a notch. What is this bunnies problem.
Then it hit me. The rescue centre told us in her background story, that Flo was used to very free roaming and free unrestricted access to the garden althogh we're not sure whether that was a cat flap or something else. I'm not accepting that this is good pet management and is a massive risk to the safety of the rabbit. So our bunnies are either put in the hutch when we had outside rabbits, or we lock the house doors for house bunnies, when it's dark.
And this is why Flo is reacting. She is used to coming and going when she felt like it. And I'm shutting off access to the outside world for her. In the act of us trying to keep the house warm, we've completely overlooked Flo's past and her emotional attachments.
I've now removed the thermal roll and clipped the curtains up half way so she can still sit by the door and look outside even though it's pitch black. But as far as she is concerned, she can still see the world and feel as though she is part of that outside.
She's settled straight away now.
I think she has been so used to being outside and had so much freedom, that now she's being placed in adoptive homes, rescue centres and so on, she is finding it hard to accept that level of change. This is probably why she is scratching and digging and chewing up stuff. She's either looking for a way out or she's taking out the frustration.
We'll see how the night pans out.
Craig x

Craig 1965 said:

Thank you everybun. I feel in a world of isolation - but that's more of grief than anything else.
Today has been a steep learning curve for me and at 6pm I think we may have worked out the problem with Flo - something so obvious but we've missed it the last 2 days because we're very much doing things 'as they were'.
I've sat in the kitchen all day with Flo. It's been chuffin freezin and I've been in my sleeping bag with thermals and all sorts. Why? Becaue Flo has sat by the outer door and wanting it open. She has just bunny loafed despite the bitter wind and snow blowing in the kitchen (I kid you not). Whenever I've gone to shut the door (mainly cause i'd be warmer sitting in the fridge). Flo has reacted and changed - and behaviour wise, indicated to me that she wants the door open.
I closed the door at 5pm as it was dark and bloomin cold, and Flo just kept sitting bunny loaf right next to the door - giving her a view of the outside.
At 5:30 I put the thick thermal roll along the whole pation door and drew the curtains which completely shut out the view. But we've done this every winter as it keeps the warm in.
Immediately Flo's behaviour changed. Like the flick of a switch. She got restless, started to try to get behind the toilet area, started pushing stuff around and just got generally restless. Which is odd because she should have began to wind down. I watched it and watched it and just felt my stress levels going up a notch. What is this bunnies problem.
Then it hit me. The rescue centre told us in her background story, that Flo was used to very free roaming and free unrestricted access to the garden althogh we're not sure whether that was a cat flap or something else. I'm not accepting that this is good pet management and is a massive risk to the safety of the rabbit. So our bunnies are either put in the hutch when we had outside rabbits, or we lock the house doors for house bunnies, when it's dark.
And this is why Flo is reacting. She is used to coming and going when she felt like it. And I'm shutting off access to the outside world for her. In the act of us trying to keep the house warm, we've completely overlooked Flo's past and her emotional attachments.
I've now removed the thermal roll and clipped the curtains up half way so she can still sit by the door and look outside even though it's pitch black. But as far as she is concerned, she can still see the world and feel as though she is part of that outside.
She's settled straight away now.
I think she has been so used to being outside and had so much freedom, that now she's being placed in adoptive homes, rescue centres and so on, she is finding it hard to accept that level of change. This is probably why she is scratching and digging and chewing up stuff. She's either looking for a way out or she's taking out the frustration.
We'll see how the night pans out.
Craig x

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You see, THIS is why you are the right person for Flo. Because you notice things. That's what simultaneously makes you an absolutely incredible owner, but also one who worries more than many.
I did wonder if she needed the feeling of space, after seeing how brave she was out in the snow earlier.
One day at a time, keep going.

I agree with you Dollyanna, Craig you are so responsible and responsive. Small steps start each journey.

I think you are right. I remember you were initially thinking of moving your outside hutch indoors and then realised that Flo would hate to be confined in a hutch as she is used to so much freedom and decided against it. She looked so, so happy bouncing around in the snow, especially given she is in a strange place, with unfamiliar people, not that long after major surgery. I think Flo will be a wonderful addition to your family once you learn to understand her in the way you have intuitively known what was best for your bridge buns and Leo.