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Thread: Lillian bunny - 7th January update - sadly she has passed

  1. #1
    Forum Buddy Craig 1965's Avatar
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    Default Lillian bunny - 7th January update - sadly she has passed

    I'm so sorry to have to post this but Lillian bunny has sadly passed this morning in my arms. I can't see the keyboard to type and I'm finding it all very hard to process right now. I know that those who have followed Lillians journey will also be upset - and I am so sorry for having to break the news to you. It is a very surreal situation here now.
    I'm wracked with guilt about whether I should have taken Lillian to the vet or not and I just can't understand what's happpend.
    We saw the vet at 10:15. I was concerned for Lillian because she didn't seem to be able to pee properly and she had not shown any interest in food as such. But she appeared comfortable and not in any great discomfort.
    The vet checked her over thoroughly after I gave a detailed explanation of where we were. Lillians hearbeat was normal, breathing was fine and her temperature all normal. Her bladder was a good size with fluid - not too much and not too empty. The vet administered some metaclopromide via injection to help gut stimulous and I set off back home. It's only a 15 minute drive.
    But as I set off, something didn't seem right at all. Lillian kept shuffling in the carrier next to me as if she couldn't settle. I should have turned round and gone back but I just thought perhaps she was a bit stressed from the vets.
    I got home and opened the carrier and she just lay there - head slightly pointing out of the carrier door but I just sensed something was not right. After about 5 minutes she came out and went round the back of the sleeping area and sat awkwardy against the wall with her head resting on the entrance to a box. Again, I felt that something wasn't quite right - I can't explain it but deep down something was just telling me this was not right.
    After a few minutes she moved to her usual place in between the sleeping area and toilet area and rested. I watched her and as I observed her it looked like she was struggling with co-ordination. Her back legs just didn't seem to be working. Things flashed round in my head as I watched. Was she having another spasm episode? Should I take her straight back to the vet? Did the vet give her the wrong meds by accident? All these things were in my thoughts.
    Then Lillian moved towards me and it was more of a crawl. It was so heartbreaking to see. She just couldn't move her legs and I knew she wanted help immediately and I didn't know what was happening.
    I picked her up gently, cradling her and stroking her. I rushed to the phone and rang the vet and said I was coming straight back as I thought she was having some sort of episode.
    Lillians head had no resistance and just rested softly on my arm and then she bagan to make distressing grunting whining sounds. Having seen this with Henry exactly one year ago next week, I suspected but didn't want to believe what was happening. She just slipped away in my arms in seconds. I held her, not knowing what to do. She had gone to the bridge in my arms but I didn't want to believe it. But in my heart I knew she had left us.
    I went back to the vet - I wanted them to confirm that she had passed. All the vets came to comfort me along with the receptionists. They all knew Lillian so well and I was a complete mess.
    I spent some time talking to the vet who oversaw almost all of Lillians care - just telling her how this has all happened so quickly. She said they could do a PM but I politely declined - Lillian deserves to be at rest next to her beloved Henry who we lost exactly one year ago next Thursday. I can't explain how that timeframe has happened.
    I don't know what happened to Lillian today. Maybe her body just had enough of the urinary episodes she has had although she just went 8 weeks without any issues and she was as happy and content as she could have been. This latest spasm episode has come so quickly and we got vetinary intervention as quick as we felt we could. But I did feel something wasn't quite right with Lillian. And we'll never know what that was now.
    She is at peace - she is lying next to the window looking up our garden and I'm hoping Leo can at least say his goodbyes in his own way. As much as Lillian has left us, she has left Leo and they have had only 10 months together. Leo very much relied on Lillian and he loved her very much as he has never been with another bunny before.
    My heart is now in pieces. My eyes are sore from crying and I've not stopped. And I won't stop for many many days I'm afraid. We loved Lillian so very much and we tried our utmost to give her a safe and happy life. She was a gentle and beautiful soul, who loved food and loved the rabbits she shared her life with.
    I will post something on Rainbow Bridge later when I feel up to it - Lillian deserves that from me. I am sorry my RU friends - I know you will also be shocked and upset at one of our bunnies has sadly said goodbye to us. I am sure Lillian would want me to tell you all she loves you as she goes on and hopefully meets up with Henry again at the bridge.
    Craig xx
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    Moderator Zoobec's Avatar
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    Oh no Im so very sorry thinking of you and sending hugs xx

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    Moderator Graciee's Avatar
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    Oh Craig, Idk what to say, there are no words, I'm so so sorry, that was heartbreaking to read :'( beautiful Lillian is now at peace with Henry. Sending you so many hugs xxxx

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    Wise Old Thumper *lily*'s Avatar
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    Im so very, very sorry.

    Sleep tightly little one xxx


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    Mama Doe
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    So sorry.

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    So sorry to hear this tragic update. Were you able to be in the consultation room with Lillian to oversee the examination ? I know this is seldom possible at the moment.

    RIP Lillian


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    Warren Scout Walli's Avatar
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    Im so sorry for your loss
    I have been following your threads on Lillian and you did everything you could for her.
    And she died peacefully and quickly at home in your arms. You could not have done anything better for her in my opinion.

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    Forum Buddy Craig 1965's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by InspectorMorse View Post
    So sorry to hear this tragic update. Were you able to be in the consultation room with Lillian to oversee the examination ? I know this is seldom possible at the moment.

    RIP Lillian
    Thank you Jane. I am sorry if I caused any upset to you. No I was not permitted in the examination room at all. Unfortunately covid protocol is that we hand over our pets outside and then the vets do the consultation on their own. I trust the vets implicitly and whilst I understand the need to make the environment as safe as possible, I do not feel that this continuation is good for these situations. I don't hold blame at the vets in any way.
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    Forum Buddy Craig 1965's Avatar
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    Thank you for your replies everyone. I am just sitting watching Leo who has come out to say his goodbyes to Lillian. He has given her a gentle face lick and sat next to her in an upright pose. He is trying to make sense of everything in his own was as this is all very new for him. I'm sure he will be hurting inside and the coming days will be hard on him. Thankfully I am around for the next 6 days so I will monitor him closely and spend as much time with him as possible. He will need that reassurance from me and us so that he doesn't feel isolated.
    I just need a cuddle but I'm here on my own and I just feel very very lost right now. I'm sorry everyone. xx
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    Wise Old Thumper keletkezes's Avatar
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    The biggest virtual hugs Craig You did everything possible. Perhaps she chose her time while with you and Leo? They're so good at 'not being quite right' when they're actually on their last legs You spotted that, and that's really good. But no comfort I expect.
    The geeky one...



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