Bonding question - trio, advice and help please.

Could I please ask for your advice please. As you all know, we've got Lillian and Leo. Happily bonded. Both around 6 years old.
Last night our son was contacted by his friend who has a small rabbit that he recently bought. I don't know exact details so apologies if I'm a bit vague. She is a dutch black and white bunny and she's about 6 months old. I don't know if she is neutered but she's a solo bun who has been living indoors but for some strange reason she is put into the outdoor hutch at night. It's now transpired that she is moulting and my sons friends wife now appears to have developed an allergic reaction to the rabbit and my sons friend has put the question out about whether we could take her (the rabbit, not the wife!).
Now, I'm sort of stuck here. We've known my sons friend for many many years and that's part of the reasin he trusts us.
I'm frustrated that their rabbit is indoors during the day but outdoors at night. And I know that we can change that and would give the rabbit a safe second home. And as she is a solo bunny, it would be better for her to be with others.
However, I have zero experience of bonding a trio and bonding two is stressful enough. And she is very young.
We have no space indoors to keep her which would be away from Lillian and Leo which would then mean she would have to go outside - something I'm really not keen on.
The alternative would probably be that she would have to go to a rescue - which places an additional strain on rescue services and if we adopted her from my sons friend, at least there would be a link.
I'm concerned about logistics for all this as initially it would prove really challenging and full on.
So, could you please all throw your guidance at me on this please. I'm feeling a bit pressured to intervene - in a good way, but I don't need the stress from that pressure but I don't want to see a bunny possibly being sent to rescue like this because deep down I do feel a desire to want to help but dont know if it's really something we can practically do.
Thanks in advance for your advice as always.
Craig

I am unable to offer much in the way of advice Craig, but in the same circumstances, I would feel I have to intervene as well.
Would it be possible for you to take B/W bunny vaccinate, neuter him/her and try to bond with Leo and Lillian. If the bond doesn't work or is too difficult, at that point look to a rescue?
Richard



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Oh Craig what an exciting and worrying place to be, I completely understand why you would want to help. Good luck with whichever decision you make.

Bringing in a third Rabbit can cause problems with the bonded pair you already have, even before you attempt to bond a trio. Once the pair become aware of the presence of another Rabbit referred aggression can kick off-ie Leo and Lillian get wound up by the smell of another Rabbit they cannot get to so they start to squabble amongst themselves.

Trio bonds can work, although IME there is always one Rabbit who is something of an outsider.

Attempting to bond a trio can cause the breakdown of the established bond, worst case scenario being you end up with three single Rabbits who all hate each other.

I know this is a very negative post, but IME it’s always best to consider worst case scenarios before taking on another Rabbit. Things may work out, but you need to have a good plan B if they don’t.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do

I agree with Jane in a way but I would find out if the Dutch bunny is spayed and if she is I would give her a chance. It's Lillian which may not like another female around but you never know, she might just accept the new bunny easily. If she is unspayed and you still feel it's right to have her then you would need somewhere to keep her until she is spayed. It might not be easy to bond all three but I think, with your amount of space etc, it is worth a go.

I can't help with the bonding issue, but I would think carefully as to whether you want a third rabbit, whether your rabbits want a third rabbit, whether it would potentially cause stress to them that they can't cope with (espcially given Lillian's health issues). Setting the link aside, would you think about getting another rabbit right now? If you did, would you choose male or female? What age would you go for and why? What would you put in place in order to facilitate happy bonding for however long it takes? All questions for you to answer to yourself, not here, but important ones.
Rescuing and doing the best is not always about taking them on yourself. I know from my experience that single females are not easy to find in rescue - yet there are plenty of single boys looking for wives. I understand not wanting to put pressure on the rescues, but she is likely to be rehomed very quickly, and by stepping in you can be sure she is taken to a reputable rescue and not just put up on gumtree. That is a wonderful thing in itself - without the need to risk your own pair's bond and wellbeing.
If you feel the need to do more than this but really don't want/can't have another rabbit , then you could offer to fund the neuter, or make a donation, but this is by no means your responsibility.
It is very easy to feel the pressure, and outsiders will just see "oh it's just another rabbit, it'll fit in fine, what's the problem", but you know better than this, and the potential repurcussions are tremendous. It might well work out which would be lovely, but there will be another home desperate for a little girl out there - and maybe that would be a better option for her?
Don't think of it as a rabbit being "sent to rescue" as if that is a punishment, think of it as a little rabbit being given the chance to find her most amazing home and her own husbun. Yours may or may not be that home, that's up to you to decide, but it doesn't need to be.

dollyanna said:

I can't help with the bonding issue, but I would think carefully as to whether you want a third rabbit, whether your rabbits want a third rabbit, whether it would potentially cause stress to them that they can't cope with (espcially given Lillian's health issues). Setting the link aside, would you think about getting another rabbit right now? If you did, would you choose male or female? What age would you go for and why? What would you put in place in order to facilitate happy bonding for however long it takes? All questions for you to answer to yourself, not here, but important ones.
Rescuing and doing the best is not always about taking them on yourself. I know from my experience that single females are not easy to find in rescue - yet there are plenty of single boys looking for wives. I understand not wanting to put pressure on the rescues, but she is likely to be rehomed very quickly, and by stepping in you can be sure she is taken to a reputable rescue and not just put up on gumtree. That is a wonderful thing in itself - without the need to risk your own pair's bond and wellbeing.
If you feel the need to do more than this but really don't want/can't have another rabbit , then you could offer to fund the neuter, or make a donation, but this is by no means your responsibility.
It is very easy to feel the pressure, and outsiders will just see "oh it's just another rabbit, it'll fit in fine, what's the problem", but you know better than this, and the potential repurcussions are tremendous. It might well work out which would be lovely, but there will be another home desperate for a little girl out there - and maybe that would be a better option for her?
Don't think of it as a rabbit being "sent to rescue" as if that is a punishment, think of it as a little rabbit being given the chance to find her most amazing home and her own husbun. Yours may or may not be that home, that's up to you to decide, but it doesn't need to be.

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really insightful post & good advice to anybun deciding whether to take on another bun in an unplanned way.

Good luck with your decision

In my limited experience of bonding I found that established pairs didnt want to be added to.

I tried to bond 6. 2 brothers who had fallen out and 2 happily bonded sisters. I also added in an m/f pair. The pair were not impressed with the whole idea. The other four lived happily together for 8 years (recent split into two m/f pairs).

I recently tried bonding the happy quad with my indoor m/f pair. No luck. I wonder if that is what split the quad ...

Anyway blah blah blah. I love dutch rabbits. They often have quite strong characters. My Loganberry is wonderful.

I hope she finds a lovely home either with you or with someone else.

Another point which just sprung to mind is if you don't give her a home she could end up being a single Rabbit for the rest of her life.

I've been following this really closely tbh! I've been thinking about a trio for myself & speaking to others.

generally from what I've gathered
...either the trio was a complete disaster, all rabbits now hate one another, and its the worst thing they could have possibly done, there's now 3 singles
...or it was the best decision, the trio bonded extremely easily, and everybody is best friends
...or, it was not too different from bonding a pair, some bumps along the way but now everybody gets along

its def a difficult decision and one that you could ruin the bond of the current rabbits you have, the new girl just doesn't fit, or everything goes swimmingly :lol:

apart of me would say, give it a try. going to a reputable rescue isn't the worst thing for her, and at the very least you could say you gave it a shot and it didn't work out. who knows, maybe everything will go fine, maybe it won't

For what it's worth, whenever I've considered trios in the past, when there were rescue bunnies where I volunteer that I became especially attached to, I've always ended up deciding that it wasn't worth the risk of breaking up Sophie and Casper's bond, and since they are my first priority before anything else, the concerns of the rescue bunnies had to come second. On the other hand, I have had a trio in the past who were all friends and they bonded very easily (two of them were already bonded), so it can go really well, too. The thing is, you can try, but if it doesn't work out, you have no guarantee that Leo and Lillian will go back to the bond they have now, and they have such a close, lovely bond, it'd be a shame if they'd lose that. It's a difficult question, though, I understand, since you of course want to help the bunny. Like others have said, though, it wouldn't be bad for her at a good rescue, and the rescue will make sure she'll get a good home with a bonded friend.

Follow your heart Craig, oh and consult the Missus as well! I feel this little girl would be a success with you; Lillian isn't very feisty and Leo is adaptable, and if you go carefully then it should all be fine. Dutchie is young so she will be glad of company.

Thank you everybun for your input. It has been honest and valuable and I am grateful for all your advice. My son informs me that the little bun has been 'adopted' by his friends sister in law, so that sort or removes us from that equation. It is good that a home has been found for the little bunny - that is my first thought. I do agree with everyone that obviously a companion for her would be better - but again, I have no input on that. The safety of the little bun is priority and at some point I will try to get word to the new adopters that a companion for the bunny would be in her interests.
Thank you all again for your help and kind words and guidance
CRaig x

tonibun said:

Another point which just sprung to mind is if you don't give her a home she could end up being a single Rabbit for the rest of her life.

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Yes but in all similar situations our first responsibility has to be toward the Rabbits we already have.

Advice can be offered to the current owners, maybe giving them the link to the RWAF website. But at the end of the day we can’t ‘save’ every Rabbit and trying to take on more than we can cope with (financially, space, well being of current Rabbits) won’t really be helping at all. It is very hard to think with your head, not your heart. But I learned my lesson the hard way, taking on far too many Rabbits and thinking ‘just one more won’t be a problem’.