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Regrets (not happy)

a reader of books

a reader of books

Warren Veteran
I've been thinking a lot lately about the poor bunnies I had when I was a child, the ones in a tiny, tiny hutch, alone or with a guinea pig, having an awful diet, no vaccinations, carried around when I felt like it, but never having the chance to run around and exercise. My parents didn't take responsibility for them at all, and I was a child, so sometimes I had more fun things to do than clean out the hutch and I forgot, or I forgot to feed them. I wish so, so much that I could have those bunnies back and give them a good life with the knowledge I have now, and it hurts that I can't... They deserved so much better. =(
 
Guilt is the strongest of all emotions. It's always invokes cark feelings - which if you look at in in another way, are also designed to be positive in your life. Without guilt then we would lose some ability to learn.
That said, what you are feeling whilst sad and upsetting - and it's perfectly ok to feel like that, is perfectly normal. You're reminissing on what were elements of your past and rightly wishing to have that time again. It's fair to say we all feel like that about some parts of our lives. Many of us on the forum will recognize how you feel because many of us feel this way about rabbits we have lost and we all wish we could have changed things at that time. You, like all of us on the forum, value life with a precious guard - it is sacrecant to you in a way that we all understand and makes you appreciate the value of all life - and also that you put that life before yours.
In the time you have grown, much has changed in both understanding and treatment of animals. We have access to unlimited information and connect with people to communicate and gain insight in a way that we have never been able to previously.
Whilst you cannot undo the past, and as much as that pain will be with you when you call on it, you are also better now from that experience and you will provide an unlimitless degree of love and care for those pets you will care for.
Someone wiser than I once told me "look back, not don't stare". And it's quite good advice. Your memories are precious - look into them and feel them, but know that you have come along way from that point and you can now treasure much happier and successful memories.
CRaig x
 
That is such a kind and thoughtful reply, Craig. Thank you so much for listening and taking the time to talk with me about my regret, for wanting to share your thoughts on it. I will keep your words in mind, and will try to look, but not stare, at this part of my childhood.
 
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We seemed to know so little about "good" conditions to keep rabbits and guinea pigs. I understand what you are saying though as I had Puzzle a grey dutch bunny (no idea of its sex hence the name) who lived with a guinea pig in a run in the back garden and only (in my memory) got garden waste and kitchen waste as food. I think hay but only from the horse people across the back. I so understand your post.
Craig "look back, but dont stare" I needed to hear that today. What wise words.
 
I’m sure most of us on here will have kept bunnies in unsuitable conditions in the past, I console myself with the fact we can only do the best we can with the knowledge we had at the time.
 
I totally undestand how you feel. I had a rabbit called Smilla when I was a child. She lived in a tiny cage for her first years, we got her a larger after a few years but I feel terrible when I think of all the time she sat alone in that little cage. The worst part is my parents thought it was a good idea to leave her alone for a weekend sometimes. I gave her loads of hay and water but she had no one to look after her or give her company or give her new water or hay:cry: Sometimes we left friday and returned sunday. I always felt terrible but I was just a child and my parents said it was ok. I so much wish I had refused to leave her on her own. I still think about it regularly and I feel so terrible about it. It was a miracle she always was okay when we got home. I still remember the dread I felt every time we got home, should she be sick or lying dead in her cage?:cry:
She deserved a so much better life.

As the others have mentioned the only thing you can do is thinking that you can't change the past but you can learn from the experience. And today you are a wonderful bunny parent!
 
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Thank you for your reply, Walli, for wanting me to know you understand. I'm sorry you have your own regrets and guilt about Smilla. It's obvious from your words that it hurts you, the way she lived and how your parents sometimes made you leave her alone for an entire weekend, and it sounds like it hurt you back then, too, feeling such dread about what condition you'd find her in when you returned home. We can be so powerless as children that way... I wish we could give our past bunnies the lives we can give our bunnies now, the lives they deserve, because they did deserve so much better, yes.

Let's try to remind ourselves, then, that we can't change the past but we can learn from the experience, like you and the others said, exactly.
 
Totally get this, I had two mini lops that were my 8/9th birthday present, they had a much better space than most hutches /runs available at the time, it was a chicken arc with a run underneath and then we had a flimsy fence which was huge.. but they didn't have enough time daily out there. They were fed muesli (we did switch to excel by fluke though), they had hay, but not like daily, they did have grass tho so Idk if that helped. The female had mites her entire life, and we did take her to the vets, but no one seemed to fix it? And my parents left it up to me. (which seems so dumb now, my current two had mites earlier this year I think and three injections later, they were gone.. So Idk why that couldn't have happened tbh, cost was never an issue, I guess the vets just didn't know.. But it seems so simple.. Idk!) they both lived til 10 - 10 1/2 ish and I've no clue how. Honestly I didn't always remember to clean them out, their litter tray would be over flowing by the end of the week [emoji51] after the male died, we had the female maybe 6-8months more but we moved her inside and she lived in a small cage but with the door open to the kitchen /lounge diner area which is a huge space but it's also the space we'd leave the dog in when we went out.. Now luckily I have to say, our German shepherd was an angel with her, the rabbit used to come over to the dog on her bed and flop up against her and they used to groom each other.. But christ I'd never let that happen now [emoji38] it could've ended so badly! So basically terrible care and dumb luck got them to 10 years old. Now my buns have pretty good care and I know so much more and things are constantly going wrong! I actually got my two rabbits Atticus and Clementine after my therapist said I should get an animal again and that it'd be good for me.. So I was like I'll get a rabbit! That wasn't too bad last time, low maintenance, furry, hah! Couldn't have gone worse tbh [emoji38]

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When I talk about my past rabbits I don't even mention my childhood rabbit, Peter. I feel gult now but I felt it then too. In a way I think the whole family did, but didn't have an idea how to fix it - incorporate him in to our lives. My dad made a huge hutch & a run but his toilet area got cleaned out only twice a week & I'm sure we can't have used enough bedding to keep him warm. I think he was 7-8 when he died & went to the vets once (for a broken claw of all things). Its thinking of how lonely he must have been that kills me.

Even now I have a regular bad dream when I go to "look after" (could be feeding / paying / cleaning litter trays) my current rabbits & suddenly remember there are forgotten rabbits , that haven't been cared for or fed in ages & I don't know if they'll be alive or dead :(

The sad thing is many rabbits still live a life like my Peter did
 
Regrets- yes

I can admit to having guilt about some of my pets for various reasons, I was fortunate that my rabbit , as a child, did have the run of a caravan, and also free roaming at times. All I will say is, when we where young , and I am going back 40/50 yrs, we did not have the advice and information regarding the correct things to do with our animals , my parents showed no interest whatsoever so it was left to me, that was the deal, get a pet, YOU look after it. Sadly the worst part is that we dont seemed to have moved on much since then, despite all the IT info, TV books etc, there are many young people , mainly older teenagers, who ask some questions I would have been embarassed to ask, even back then, the lack of common sense and empathy by some of younger generation and the inability to use the information at their finger tips is breath taking.
Worst of all is the number who wont listen to advice, even when they ask for it.. or be prepared to listen and learn from our mistakes.

So in short I would beat yourself up to much about past exploits you did what you thought was right at the time....not sure what todays excuses will
be.....
 
Graciee said:
Totally get this, I had two mini lops that were my 8/9th birthday present, they had a much better space than most hutches /runs available at the time, it was a chicken arc with a run underneath and then we had a flimsy fence which was huge.. but they didn't have enough time daily out there. They were fed muesli (we did switch to excel by fluke though), they had hay, but not like daily, they did have grass tho so Idk if that helped. The female had mites her entire life, and we did take her to the vets, but no one seemed to fix it? And my parents left it up to me. (which seems so dumb now, my current two had mites earlier this year I think and three injections later, they were gone.. So Idk why that couldn't have happened tbh, cost was never an issue, I guess the vets just didn't know.. But it seems so simple.. Idk!) they both lived til 10 - 10 1/2 ish and I've no clue how. Honestly I didn't always remember to clean them out, their litter tray would be over flowing by the end of the week [emoji51] after the male died, we had the female maybe 6-8months more but we moved her inside and she lived in a small cage but with the door open to the kitchen /lounge diner area which is a huge space but it's also the space we'd leave the dog in when we went out.. Now luckily I have to say, our German shepherd was an angel with her, the rabbit used to come over to the dog on her bed and flop up against her and they used to groom each other.. But christ I'd never let that happen now [emoji38] it could've ended so badly! So basically terrible care and dumb luck got them to 10 years old. Now my buns have pretty good care and I know so much more and things are constantly going wrong! I actually got my two rabbits Atticus and Clementine after my therapist said I should get an animal again and that it'd be good for me.. So I was like I'll get a rabbit! That wasn't too bad last time, low maintenance, furry, hah! Couldn't have gone worse tbh [emoji38]

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Click to expand...
Thank you for saying you get it, too, Graciee. When you said the girl bunny lived in the same space as where you'd leave the dog when you went out I held my breath, hoping nothing bad would follow! I'm glad the dog was an angel with her; it sounds like they were good friends. But, yes, we know better now than to leave a dog with a rabbit unsupervised! I'm sorry the girl bunny had mites all her life, too. Vet care for bunnies really didn't used to be very good, so I suppose it's not a surprise that they couldn't fix it, that they didn't even try. Poor girl... It's strange/ironic, isn't it, how bunnies who don't get great care can get so old, when bunnies who get everything they need can struggle with their health so much? They didn't turn out to be the low maintenance pet you remembered!
 
joey&boo said:
When I talk about my past rabbits I don't even mention my childhood rabbit, Peter. I feel gult now but I felt it then too. In a way I think the whole family did, but didn't have an idea how to fix it - incorporate him in to our lives. My dad made a huge hutch & a run but his toilet area got cleaned out only twice a week & I'm sure we can't have used enough bedding to keep him warm. I think he was 7-8 when he died & went to the vets once (for a broken claw of all things). Its thinking of how lonely he must have been that kills me.

Even now I have a regular bad dream when I go to "look after" (could be feeding / paying / cleaning litter trays) my current rabbits & suddenly remember there are forgotten rabbits , that haven't been cared for or fed in ages & I don't know if they'll be alive or dead :(

The sad thing is many rabbits still live a life like my Peter did
Click to expand...
I'm sorry you have your Peter to feel guilty about, too, joey&boo... Thinking of how lonely they must've been is so painful, isn't it? =(

I'm sorry you have those bad dreams... =( I actually have similar recurring bad dreams, where at one point during a regular dream I remember I was supposed to look after rabbits (my own or someone else's) and I realise I haven't checked on them all day and haven't given them water or food or anything, and then I find sick and dying bunnies because I'd neglected them. =(

The fact that there are still bunnies living in conditions they lived in in the past is really sad, yes... We know so much better now, so people can care for their bunnies much better, and yet they don't...
 
a reader of books said:
Thank you for saying you get it, too, Graciee. When you said the girl bunny lived in the same space as where you'd leave the dog when you went out I held my breath, hoping nothing bad would follow! I'm glad the dog was an angel with her; it sounds like they were good friends. But, yes, we know better now than to leave a dog with a rabbit unsupervised! I'm sorry the girl bunny had mites all her life, too. Vet care for bunnies really didn't used to be very good, so I suppose it's not a surprise that they couldn't fix it, that they didn't even try. Poor girl... It's strange/ironic, isn't it, how bunnies who don't get great care can get so old, when bunnies who get everything they need can struggle with their health so much? They didn't turn out to be the low maintenance pet you remembered!
Click to expand...

I know! Idk why that was considered fine tbh [emoji38] they did know each other already, they used to be around each other outside too, and the dog never bothered the buns, they used to come up to her, the dog actually seemed very unsure of them for a long time [emoji38] but yea I think the dog gave the rabbit a lot of companionship and love after we lost the male. It was sad actually, we lost the boy in the December, then we lost the dog in like March/April, then the girl bun died maybe two months later ish. She was very lonely once we lost the dog, she used to look for her, for a while after :(

No not at all, it was almost a joke, I brought home two 12 week old buns, only went to get 1, but couldn't leave the girl when I saw her [emoji38] the girl lost the use of her back legs at 16 weeks old I think? I'd literally had them a few weeks [emoji38] ended up having double knee surgery, then the boy had a bad reaction to a drug when he was neutered and was never the same rabbit again.. Then he got all his gut issues... [emoji38] Not sure I could've been more unlucky with my new "low maintenance" pet to be a calming presence in my life [emoji38] its like Atticus and Clementine were like yeaaa we aren't here for your problems [emoji38][emoji38] learnt a lot about buns, very quickly, mostly from this forum actually :) Clementine wouldn't be alive today if I hadn't found this place, I know that for sure!

Even my adopted two, the white buns, they were doing okay, until Penelope had to have knee surgery recently.. I think I'm cursed when it comes to rabbit knees [emoji51]

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Floppylop said:
I can admit to having guilt about some of my pets for various reasons, I was fortunate that my rabbit , as a child, did have the run of a caravan, and also free roaming at times. All I will say is, when we where young , and I am going back 40/50 yrs, we did not have the advice and information regarding the correct things to do with our animals , my parents showed no interest whatsoever so it was left to me, that was the deal, get a pet, YOU look after it. Sadly the worst part is that we dont seemed to have moved on much since then, despite all the IT info, TV books etc, there are many young people , mainly older teenagers, who ask some questions I would have been embarassed to ask, even back then, the lack of common sense and empathy by some of younger generation and the inability to use the information at their finger tips is breath taking.
Worst of all is the number who wont listen to advice, even when they ask for it.. or be prepared to listen and learn from our mistakes.

So in short I would beat yourself up to much about past exploits you did what you thought was right at the time....not sure what todays excuses will
be.....
Click to expand...
You're right, the way a lot of people haven't moved on much since then despite all the information out there now is horrible. It's so easy to Google anything related to bunnies now, and yet... A lot of people don't want to know better, it's true; they ask for advice and then decide that following the advice would be too much work... Fortunately there are a lot of people who do listen and care and try their best, but it's very sad that that's not something everybody does.

Thank you for your reply, really, for saying you have guilt about some of your pets as well. I'll try not to beat myself up too much, as you advised, but I have an anxiety disorder, so beating myself up about things is what I do best, heh.
 
Graciee said:
I know! Idk why that was considered fine tbh [emoji38] they did know each other already, they used to be around each other outside too, and the dog never bothered the buns, they used to come up to her, the dog actually seemed very unsure of them for a long time [emoji38] but yea I think the dog gave the rabbit a lot of companionship and love after we lost the male. It was sad actually, we lost the boy in the December, then we lost the dog in like March/April, then the girl bun died maybe two months later ish. She was very lonely once we lost the dog, she used to look for her, for a while after :(

No not at all, it was almost a joke, I brought home two 12 week old buns, only went to get 1, but couldn't leave the girl when I saw her [emoji38] the girl lost the use of her back legs at 16 weeks old I think? I'd literally had them a few weeks [emoji38] ended up having double knee surgery, then the boy had a bad reaction to a drug when he was neutered and was never the same rabbit again.. Then he got all his gut issues... [emoji38] Not sure I could've been more unlucky with my new "low maintenance" pet to be a calming presence in my life [emoji38] its like Atticus and Clementine were like yeaaa we aren't here for your problems [emoji38][emoji38] learnt a lot about buns, very quickly, mostly from this forum actually :) Clementine wouldn't be alive today if I hadn't found this place, I know that for sure!

Even my adopted two, the white buns, they were doing okay, until Penelope had to have knee surgery recently.. I think I'm cursed when it comes to rabbit knees [emoji51]

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Click to expand...
I'm glad the dog was okay with the bunnies/bunny and even gave the girl bunny a lot of companionship and love, aw. Poor girl, though, having first lost her bunny friend and then her dog friend... =(

Oh my gosh, you got rabbits to have a calming presence in your life and all of that happened? You definitely were very unlucky with your new "low maintenance" pets, yes! Poor Clementine and Atticus, going through that; Clementine having to have double knee surgery and Atticus never being the same and getting all his gut issues... That sure must've calmed you down a lot! I'm so glad you were able to learn a lot about rabbits really fast so you could give them the best care.

Aw, you then had another rabbit needing knee surgery? It does sound like you're cursed when it comes to rabbit knees, yes! Poor Penelope...
 
a reader of books said:
I'm glad the dog was okay with the bunnies/bunny and even gave the girl bunny a lot of companionship and love, aw. Poor girl, though, having first lost her bunny friend and then her dog friend... =(

Oh my gosh, you got rabbits to have a calming presence in your life and all of that happened? You definitely were very unlucky with your new "low maintenance" pets, yes! Poor Clementine and Atticus, going through that; Clementine having to have double knee surgery and Atticus never being the same and getting all his gut issues... That sure must've calmed you down a lot! I'm so glad you were able to learn a lot about rabbits really fast so you could give them the best care.

Aw, you then had another rabbit needing knee surgery? It does sound like you're cursed when it comes to rabbit knees, yes! Poor Penelope...
Click to expand...

Yea I never went back to that therapist, it's kinda funny I got so consumed with dealing with the rabbit issues I never booked another appointment [emoji38][emoji38][emoji38] it was so stressful, I kept taking her to vets and they kept saying different things and then xraying but finding nothing and then about 5 different vets said I should have her put to sleep, and I was going to, but it didn't feel right because she was totally fine in herself.. Weirdly.. [emoji38] Then I found my current vet through this forum who diagnosed the issue from seeing her and looking at the xrays from other vets [emoji38]

Yea recently my white bunny Penelope had to have knee surgery [emoji38] she hurt herself doing a binky in the run.. Rabbits are not low maintenance or stress free! Wish someone had told me [emoji38] The constant threat of stasis too [emoji51] I might have to have no more buns after this lot, the threat of their knees going is too great [emoji38][emoji38][emoji38]

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Graciee said:
Yea I never went back to that therapist, it's kinda funny I got so consumed with dealing with the rabbit issues I never booked another appointment [emoji38][emoji38][emoji38] it was so stressful, I kept taking her to vets and they kept saying different things and then xraying but finding nothing and then about 5 different vets said I should have her put to sleep, and I was going to, but it didn't feel right because she was totally fine in herself.. Weirdly.. [emoji38] Then I found my current vet through this forum who diagnosed the issue from seeing her and looking at the xrays from other vets [emoji38]

Yea recently my white bunny Penelope had to have knee surgery [emoji38] she hurt herself doing a binky in the run.. Rabbits are not low maintenance or stress free! Wish someone had told me [emoji38] The constant threat of stasis too [emoji51] I might have to have no more buns after this lot, the threat of their knees going is too great [emoji38][emoji38][emoji38]

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Click to expand...
That therapist must've regretted their advice to you when you became so busy with your new rabbits that you never went back to therapy, haha. I'm sorry you had so much trouble when you were trying to find out what was going on with Clementine. 5 different vets couldn't figure it out?? You must be so glad you didn't listen to their advice to put her to sleep. I'm glad you eventually found your current vet who could diagnose her.

Aw, poor Penelope, hurting herself doing a binky! That's so unlucky! Is she doing well now? And you're right, I think rabbits are the most stressful animals I've ever taken care of! But, yes, when you're cursed when it comes to rabbit knees, maybe getting other bunnies wouldn't be a good idea, hehe.
 
a reader of books said:
That therapist must've regretted their advice to you when you became so busy with your new rabbits that you never went back to therapy, haha. I'm sorry you had so much trouble when you were trying to find out what was going on with Clementine. 5 different vets couldn't figure it out?? You must be so glad you didn't listen to their advice to put her to sleep. I'm glad you eventually found your current vet who could diagnose her.

Aw, poor Penelope, hurting herself doing a binky! That's so unlucky! Is she doing well now? And you're right, I think rabbits are the most stressful animals I've ever taken care of! But, yes, when you're cursed when it comes to rabbit knees, maybe getting other bunnies wouldn't be a good idea, hehe.
Click to expand...

I mean he probably didn't realise why but yea [emoji38] in hindsight too that's terrible advice to give someone!

Yea she's doing okay :) I couldn't believe it when my Vet said what it was, and he couldn't believe I had a second rabbit with knee issues [emoji38] yea I'll have to never have buns again, anyone I bring home could catch the curse [emoji38]

They definitely are, we have two hamsters and I worry way less about them, also our baby is less of a worry [emoji38]

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