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Thread: Regrets (not happy)

  1. #1

    Default Regrets (not happy)

    I've been thinking a lot lately about the poor bunnies I had when I was a child, the ones in a tiny, tiny hutch, alone or with a guinea pig, having an awful diet, no vaccinations, carried around when I felt like it, but never having the chance to run around and exercise. My parents didn't take responsibility for them at all, and I was a child, so sometimes I had more fun things to do than clean out the hutch and I forgot, or I forgot to feed them. I wish so, so much that I could have those bunnies back and give them a good life with the knowledge I have now, and it hurts that I can't... They deserved so much better. =(

  2. #2
    Forum Buddy Craig 1965's Avatar
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    Guilt is the strongest of all emotions. It's always invokes cark feelings - which if you look at in in another way, are also designed to be positive in your life. Without guilt then we would lose some ability to learn.
    That said, what you are feeling whilst sad and upsetting - and it's perfectly ok to feel like that, is perfectly normal. You're reminissing on what were elements of your past and rightly wishing to have that time again. It's fair to say we all feel like that about some parts of our lives. Many of us on the forum will recognize how you feel because many of us feel this way about rabbits we have lost and we all wish we could have changed things at that time. You, like all of us on the forum, value life with a precious guard - it is sacrecant to you in a way that we all understand and makes you appreciate the value of all life - and also that you put that life before yours.
    In the time you have grown, much has changed in both understanding and treatment of animals. We have access to unlimited information and connect with people to communicate and gain insight in a way that we have never been able to previously.
    Whilst you cannot undo the past, and as much as that pain will be with you when you call on it, you are also better now from that experience and you will provide an unlimitless degree of love and care for those pets you will care for.
    Someone wiser than I once told me "look back, not don't stare". And it's quite good advice. Your memories are precious - look into them and feel them, but know that you have come along way from that point and you can now treasure much happier and successful memories.
    CRaig x
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  3. #3

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    That is such a kind and thoughtful reply, Craig. Thank you so much for listening and taking the time to talk with me about my regret, for wanting to share your thoughts on it. I will keep your words in mind, and will try to look, but not stare, at this part of my childhood.
    Last edited by a reader of books; 16-10-2020 at 07:25 PM.

  4. #4
    Mama Doe Cuthbert&Dillon's Avatar
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    We seemed to know so little about "good" conditions to keep rabbits and guinea pigs. I understand what you are saying though as I had Puzzle a grey dutch bunny (no idea of its sex hence the name) who lived with a guinea pig in a run in the back garden and only (in my memory) got garden waste and kitchen waste as food. I think hay but only from the horse people across the back. I so understand your post.
    Craig "look back, but dont stare" I needed to hear that today. What wise words.

  5. #5
    Moderator Zoobec's Avatar
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    I’m sure most of us on here will have kept bunnies in unsuitable conditions in the past, I console myself with the fact we can only do the best we can with the knowledge we had at the time.

    Binky free at the bridge Boots, you will never be forgotten xxxx

  6. #6
    Mama Doe mikek's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zoobec View Post
    I’m sure most of us on here will have kept bunnies in unsuitable conditions in the past, I console myself with the fact we can only do the best we can with the knowledge we had at the time.
    +1
    (\__/)
    (='.'=)
    (")_(")

    if you're reading this it's too late

  7. #7

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    Thank you, too, C&D, Zoobec, and Mike, for letting me know you can relate. We really didn't know much about rabbits back then...

  8. #8

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    I totally undestand how you feel. I had a rabbit called Smilla when I was a child. She lived in a tiny cage for her first years, we got her a larger after a few years but I feel terrible when I think of all the time she sat alone in that little cage. The worst part is my parents thought it was a good idea to leave her alone for a weekend sometimes. I gave her loads of hay and water but she had no one to look after her or give her company or give her new water or hay Sometimes we left friday and returned sunday. I always felt terrible but I was just a child and my parents said it was ok. I so much wish I had refused to leave her on her own. I still think about it regularly and I feel so terrible about it. It was a miracle she always was okay when we got home. I still remember the dread I felt every time we got home, should she be sick or lying dead in her cage?
    She deserved a so much better life.

    As the others have mentioned the only thing you can do is thinking that you can't change the past but you can learn from the experience. And today you are a wonderful bunny parent!
    Last edited by Walli; 17-10-2020 at 09:47 PM.

  9. #9

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    Thank you for your reply, Walli, for wanting me to know you understand. I'm sorry you have your own regrets and guilt about Smilla. It's obvious from your words that it hurts you, the way she lived and how your parents sometimes made you leave her alone for an entire weekend, and it sounds like it hurt you back then, too, feeling such dread about what condition you'd find her in when you returned home. We can be so powerless as children that way... I wish we could give our past bunnies the lives we can give our bunnies now, the lives they deserve, because they did deserve so much better, yes.

    Let's try to remind ourselves, then, that we can't change the past but we can learn from the experience, like you and the others said, exactly.

  10. #10
    Moderator Graciee's Avatar
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    Totally get this, I had two mini lops that were my 8/9th birthday present, they had a much better space than most hutches /runs available at the time, it was a chicken arc with a run underneath and then we had a flimsy fence which was huge.. but they didn't have enough time daily out there. They were fed muesli (we did switch to excel by fluke though), they had hay, but not like daily, they did have grass tho so Idk if that helped. The female had mites her entire life, and we did take her to the vets, but no one seemed to fix it? And my parents left it up to me. (which seems so dumb now, my current two had mites earlier this year I think and three injections later, they were gone.. So Idk why that couldn't have happened tbh, cost was never an issue, I guess the vets just didn't know.. But it seems so simple.. Idk!) they both lived til 10 - 10 1/2 ish and I've no clue how. Honestly I didn't always remember to clean them out, their litter tray would be over flowing by the end of the week after the male died, we had the female maybe 6-8months more but we moved her inside and she lived in a small cage but with the door open to the kitchen /lounge diner area which is a huge space but it's also the space we'd leave the dog in when we went out.. Now luckily I have to say, our German shepherd was an angel with her, the rabbit used to come over to the dog on her bed and flop up against her and they used to groom each other.. But christ I'd never let that happen now it could've ended so badly! So basically terrible care and dumb luck got them to 10 years old. Now my buns have pretty good care and I know so much more and things are constantly going wrong! I actually got my two rabbits Atticus and Clementine after my therapist said I should get an animal again and that it'd be good for me.. So I was like I'll get a rabbit! That wasn't too bad last time, low maintenance, furry, hah! Couldn't have gone worse tbh

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