Quote Originally Posted by rachylou View Post
Its strange as obviously the week leading up to his death, when he passed and having to take him to be cremated the pain was immeasurable and I thought I was going to die my heart hurt so much, following those days the pain kind of made me numb I think and I questioned why I wasn't feeling the devastation I expected and wondered what that meant but I think I felt that way because I still felt Jims with me, I cried every night for about a year, I still do very often and when I am driving and certain songs come on I will just burst in to tears.
I just want to have him back with me, he was my best friend, my soul mate and I don't feel complete without him. I miss him so much and just want to cuddle him again. I feel like I didn't get to say a proper goodbye to him as when he was passing I was trying my hardest to 'get through' those few minutes without falling apart all I said to him was 'sshhh' and 'mummys here' I should have been telling him 'I love you so much' but that's not the last thing he heard and I will never forgive myself for that. he meant and still means the world to me and I don't know if he knows that.
Some things do not need to be verbalized. Jims felt your love in your touch,in your comforting tone, and in every beat of your heart. How wonderful that he was able to spend his final moments with someone who loves him --with someone he loved.
It is so difficult to see your beloved pet pass away and sometimes following those final moments , along with the emptiness I felt a small amount of relief if a pet was struggling in those last moments. Then tears soak my pillow as I hold my lifeless friend one final time. Tears pour out as I type this to let you know I understand your loss.