• Forum/Server Upgrade If you are reading this you have made it to the upgraded forum. Posts made on the old forum after 26th October 2023 have not been transfered. Everything else should be here. If you find any issues please let us know.

I've tried every thing, but Kiwi will never love me :(

Ok so, I'm a new member, and I have an issue.

I just got a new holland lop, kiwi, two months ago. We were originally told the he was a girl, but a month later, upon further investigation discovered that Kiwi is in fact a boy!!! Anyway, at the beginning things were going okay, he was scared but we were bonding a little. I would lie down in his pen and read a book and occasionally he would come out, sniff me and let me give him one or two head pets. One time he even flopped right next to me! But, in recent weeks, he seems less affectionate and really, like he couldn't care less about me! He only lets me pet him if he's flopped in his favorite spot in his cage (he has a cage with the door open that leads to a play pen) and sometimes he tooth purrs. He NEVER licks or shows affection and I just don't know what to do.

Also, he becomes very aggressive in certain situations, like when he pees on my bed after I take him off and try to clean it, he will lunge at me and bite me :( it usually takes him 4-5 hours to calm down! Also recently, after I gave him his nightly treats, and he did tricks, he became very energetic and angry and lunged at me, biting, breaking the skin! He has bit before on a couple of occasions though, so I was not surprised that he would bite.

I'm at the end of my rope, but I will not give up! I LOVE this bunny with my whole heart, and will do what ever it takes. It just feels like he will NEVER love me :( I've tried everything, letting him run around in my room while laying on the floor, giving him treats when he comes up to me, but it just isn't improving. He is at puberty age, around 5 months, is this where his sudden intensified aggression is coming from? He was always a little spunky, but it appears to have multiplied, and he gets angry for no reason! Do I just need to get him neutered? Will he love me more after the neuter? Am I giving it enough time, it's only been 2 months. I've tried every hack in the book, will he ever love me????
 
Hello and welcome! I would recommend getting him neutered, it may change his behaviour and is likely to calm him down and stop behaviours such as peeing on your bed, it is also better for his health. But it may not make him more affectionate, some rabbits are naturally more aloof. I'm sure he does love you though! I've only ever had one rabbit who would groom me, binky when he saw me and wanted to spend time sat on/beside me. All my other rabbits have been very happy spending time with their bonded partners but do still enjoy some human company and enjoy a good head/nose rub when the mood takes them! They can show they are happy in your presence in other ways, such as eating, flopping (even if not near you) and playing with their toys/enrichment
 
Thank you so much! I think I was panicking a little too much! Do you have any idea why he would be in such a mood after peeing on my bed?? Do you recommend I get him a friend, if so, make it female??? It would also be a lot of work! Bonding them, getting them neutered/spayed, getting enough space, food, attention etc.
PS your bunnies are adorable;)
 
Bunny is aloof

Hi I’ve just gotten a new bunny around 2 months ago. I’m aware that they’re not exactly cuddly, but mine just really doesn’t seem interested in me. I’ve already posted about this and gotten some amazing advice, but I would like reassurance ;) My best friend Samantha recently got a pre-owned bunny that her friend gave her (Her friend didn’t have the time for her anymore) and Sams bunny LOVES her i.e. licks, cuddles, never bites, etc. Sam has only had her for a few weeks and I’ve had kiwi for a month! Does anyone have any advice to help make kiwi more affectionate? (keeping in mind he isn’t fixed yet) Kiwi NEVER licks, cuddles and bites a lot. From previous advice I believe the biting and aggression is because he isn’t fixed, but He won’t even flop near me!
Your help is appreciated -Schuyler (aka Kiwi’s mom)
 
I'm not sure, perhaps he is annoyed about you removing the scent? He may be wee'ing on there to mark it as his area as he likes it! Bunnies do better in pairs, a male and female pair works best, both need to be spayed/neutered :) Thank you, I have a trio of two girls and a boy! :)
 
I agree with what Liz has said :thumb: I’ll move this to behaviour and bonding for you.
 
Hi I’ve just gotten a new bunny around 2 months ago. I’m aware that they’re not exactly cuddly, but mine just really doesn’t seem interested in me. I’ve already posted about this and gotten some amazing advice, but I would like reassurance ;) My best friend Samantha recently got a pre-owned bunny that her friend gave her (Her friend didn’t have the time for her anymore) and Sams bunny LOVES her i.e. licks, cuddles, never bites, etc. Sam has only had her for a few weeks and I’ve had kiwi for a month! Does anyone have any advice to help make kiwi more affectionate? (keeping in mind he isn’t fixed yet) Kiwi NEVER licks, cuddles and bites a lot. From previous advice I believe the biting and aggression is because he isn’t fixed, but He won’t even flop near me!
Your help is appreciated -Schuyler (aka Kiwi’s mom)

I merged this thread with your other thread on the same subject as you already had replies on that one :thumb:
 
Hello and welcome to the forum.
Firstly, I agree with Liz's advice.
Rabbits can present quite challenging emotive behaviour at times - and for us as carers for them, it is also complex to understand because they don't vocalise. I am su Kiwi is noton a personal mission against you. Some rabbits instantly bond with their hoomans - and that is for those lucky enough, a deep and special bond. The affection that you refer to is reserved only for a few bunnies and there is no pattern or rhyme or reason to it. I was fortunate enough to have such a special bun who sadly is now at the bridge, and none of my other bunnies have shown the same intensity of emotion or attachment to me.
A bunny takes quite some time to build up trust with the hooman and as Liz suggested, neutering Kiwi will reduce the hormones (testosterone) and calm him down somewhat. It will also give health benefits later in life for him. But it will curb the aggressive behaviour.
Will he 'love you' after neutering? Without sounding harsh - I do not wish or intend to offend, but, as with any form of relationship, 'love' as such, is something that has many forms. Rabbits largely will need to trust first - from Kiwi's perspective, everything is all new for him and in rabbit world, he is assuming dominance because that is how his emotions act. The peeing on the bed is his way of marking an area for his use. As much as we may have a favorite toy, or item of clothing, rabbits, Kiwi, is saying 'this area is mine' and you washing it off, as far as Kiwi is concerned, is an act against him.
But I also understand that you need to ensure Kiwi has boundaries and so it would not be acceptable for Kiwi to pee on the bed. Again, neutering should sort this issue out.
Over time, and at Kiwi's pace, he will trust you in his own way, and over time, that trust will form a bond - a simbient relationship that will have it's own boundaries.
You need to learn his body languages as he will rely on your observations for his wellbeing.
Kiwi isn't doing this behaviour out of malice - he is just behaving as he knows. Be patient, support him and reassure him and continue to show the unconditional love for him and he will grow to love you in his way.
 
Ok so, I'm a new member, and I have an issue.

I just got a new holland lop, kiwi, two months ago. We were originally told the he was a girl, but a month later, upon further investigation discovered that Kiwi is in fact a boy!!! Anyway, at the beginning things were going okay, he was scared but we were bonding a little. I would lie down in his pen and read a book and occasionally he would come out, sniff me and let me give him one or two head pets. One time he even flopped right next to me! But, in recent weeks, he seems less affectionate and really, like he couldn't care less about me! He only lets me pet him if he's flopped in his favorite spot in his cage (he has a cage with the door open that leads to a play pen) and sometimes he tooth purrs. He NEVER licks or shows affection and I just don't know what to do.

Also, he becomes very aggressive in certain situations, like when he pees on my bed after I take him off and try to clean it, he will lunge at me and bite me :( it usually takes him 4-5 hours to calm down! Also recently, after I gave him his nightly treats, and he did tricks, he became very energetic and angry and lunged at me, biting, breaking the skin! He has bit before on a couple of occasions though, so I was not surprised that he would bite.

I'm at the end of my rope, but I will not give up! I LOVE this bunny with my whole heart, and will do what ever it takes. It just feels like he will NEVER love me :( I've tried everything, letting him run around in my room while laying on the floor, giving him treats when he comes up to me, but it just isn't improving. He is at puberty age, around 5 months, is this where his sudden intensified aggression is coming from? He was always a little spunky, but it appears to have multiplied, and he gets angry for no reason! Do I just need to get him neutered? Will he love me more after the neuter? Am I giving it enough time, it's only been 2 months. I've tried every hack in the book, will he ever love me????
dear kiwi_the_bunny,--I once had a beautiful-male black cat-raised him from a new born-when it came time for the guillotine,he conveniently disappeared,-I searched for weeks-only to see him long enough for verification-never caught him,never came home..--mixed feeling here-sincerely james waller from the other kent-usa
 
Hi! Sorry to hear you’re having trouble bonding with your bunny! First of all, it sounds like your bunny does love you, or else he wouldn’t flop next to you. Bunny affection is sometimes hard to see as it’s not as obvious as cats/dogs, and not all bunnies lick also. I have two bunnies and one licks me and is extremely affectionate, but the other does not - that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me though. In my opinion this behaviour sounds like it is largely stemming from hormones which is causing aggression (launching at you) and territorial behaviour, so I would definitely recommend getting him neutered which may help he calm down before. Try to think of it from his perspective, his hormones are raging at 5 months and this may be causing him to act ‘out of character’, also remember bunnies’ personalities change from when they are babies, but that doesn’t mean you can’t form a good relationship with your bunny, nor does it mean he will always be this aggressive. Also, remember to spend lots of time with him, playing with him and just getting to know him better (which it seems like you’re already doing) and know that it may take a long time for him to trust you but I’m sure it will happen if you put in the effort! Hope this helps and things improve!
 
Thank you all so much for your kind words of encouragement!! :) I appreciate it very much, and I feel much more happy and confident in Kiwi's behavior. Last night when I was petting him in his favorite flopping spot (the spot where he flops a lot) he was so happy and relaxed he tooth purred for me! :) I was very excited as he hadn't done it in awhile, and I think it is a step closer to him trusting me!
 
Thank you all so much for your kind words of encouragement!! :) I appreciate it very much, and I feel much more happy and confident in Kiwi's behavior. Last night when I was petting him in his favorite flopping spot (the spot where he flops a lot) he was so happy and relaxed he tooth purred for me! :) I was very excited as he hadn't done it in awhile, and I think it is a step closer to him trusting me!

Yes - you are doing all the right things. Every bun works at their own pace - Kiwi just needs to have some time and I would also suggest that after neutering, he will certainly calm down - although it won't be instantaneous. Just keep taking small gentle steps - he will know that you love him and he will reciprocate that back once he feels in himself, that the trust is solid.
 
Back
Top