13 years ago today, my soul mate died, and it nearly killed me. I made decisions back then, that I wouldn’t make now, but, when he died, I had the absolute pleasure, and savior, of having his son and daughter, and then his grandchildren, with me, until 5th November this year, when the very last grandchild died. This will be the first anniversary of his death, that I have no parts of him with me. I know I have made bad choices, and I wouldn’t ever, these days, advocate someone do what I’ve done, but the last time I made those poor choices was way back in 2007. I’ve learnt a lot since then, and my bunnies lives have improved over and over and over (and it feels sad that I have to explain this here, on a thread that is filled with grief, loss and pain).
I need to honour all these guys.
Flash (12th March 2005, to 27th December 2005) came into my life when my life had fallen apart. He was a sweet, quirky, comedic little fellow, who was alongside me through some of the most torrid times of my life. He showed me unconditional acceptance- something I’ve been we had before.
He fathered Sky and Moon, and, when he died, they became everything to me.
Moon (6th October 2005 to 15th March 2007) was an independent, feisty, incredibly intelligent companion, who would sleep on my best, groom me, and yet was very independent. With hindsight, her life was not what it could and should have been, and I feel so, so guilty about that, although I know I can’t now change it. I just hope that she knows how loved she was, even though we got it so very wrong.
Sky (6th October 2005 to 28th August 2013) became my absolute world, and my everything- the very best friend I ever had. We were inseparable, and he would get ill if I wasn’t around. He was the one who forced me to confront my demons, and to start fighting. I promised him I would fight for as long as he lived. He was quirky, and moody, but loving and loyal. He was mine, and I was his.
He fathered several children, the oldest of whom was Cloud.
Cloud (17th July 2006 to 10th April 2010) was the only surviving bunny from his litter. He was aggressive and feisty, but confident and outgoing- but he was a bit of a nightmare. But he was mine, and I loved him, no matter what.
Moon, Sky and Cloud all came to visit me on the psych ward, when I was in many pieces nine months after Flash died. The staff there recognised the clear importance of my bunny friends.
After losing Moon, I then made my final bad choice and Sky fathered seven incredible little bunnies- all of whom lived long, long lives. All seven of them, lived to seven years old, but then we started to lose them.
Hope (3rd June 2007 to 14th November 2014) was the oddball. He was the one who would be sleeping, whilst everyone else was eating. Or drinking whilst everyone else was sleeping. He was a tad simple, but such a gentle soul. Nothing remotely feisty in him. He was the smallest of the litter, which is how he ended up with his name.
Sunny (3rd June 2007 to 22nd June 2015) was the only girl of the litter. She was very like her mum, Sandy, but she had all the intelligence of Moon because she was smart. And she was so smart, that she would put other bunnies into the firing line to investigate whatever ideas she had. She was independent though, and not a fan of strokes, but did like company, and did like to lick.
Dusk (3rd June 2007 to 4th July 2015) was a nice little bunny, and the only one who never spent time living in my room- something I wish wasn’t the case. He was so nice natured, but also quirky, but managed to earn the trust of the most volatile rabbit we ever owned- Candyfloss. I have so much respect for him for how he befriended her and how they lived together.
Star (3rd June 2007 to 13th October 2015) was my single feisty bunny, who had no chance of being bonded. He was very much like Sky in nature, but more highly strung. He was so beautiful, but needed careful handling. I never had a problem, but he scared everyone else. For me, he just loved strokes, he was perky and bright, and always greeted me in the door way.
Lightning (3rd June 2007 to 22nd April 2018) was the most photogenic of the group (but not really in this photo), and a really nice soul, he was more like a puppy and spent many years very happily bonded. He was a character and enjoyed his nose rubs, but he also had a really comedic side, and gave us all many laughs.
Angel (3rd June 2007 to 18th September 2018) lived in our living room for most of his life, and our life revolved around him. He was keen for food, and loved to be adored. He was cheeky and loved to escape, and was boss of everyone but me.
Dawn (3rd June 2007 to 5th November 2018), the last remaining bunny, who had a very sweet nature, but was the quietest of all of them. He was playful and curious, but much more a rabbit, preferring other rabbits, to some of his brothers.
These guys and girls are all the result of choices that I would not make now, but I cannot regret them, because my beautiful, wonderful bunnies have been my constant companions through the toughest years of my lives. I learned to live because of them, especially Sky. I felt the greatest love at them all being around. I also felt the greatest pain as they have, one by one, left.
I am now without any of them, without any part of Flash, without any part of Sky. My heart feels empty and broken, but I feel so blessed to have had these guys in my life, and to have had them all for so long.
It’s a very sad time for me to realise that my constant companions have now all left. These have been my friends, and in the absence of human friends, they have been all I’ve had. I would not change that for the world. It feels important, now that they have all left, to really acknowledge the full picture, and everything they gave.
I got involved in rabbit rescue because of these guys. I ended up with a sanctuary for sick and disabled bunnies, because of these guys. I live, because of these guys- especially Sky- I survived things I shouldn’t have survived, because of him. Everything I do and am, is because of these guys.
But today, I just need to remember them all, as a collective, for all they have given me, and all they have given the other bunnies who benefitted from my presence in the rescue community.
Life has a huge hole and will always have that hole, but life was so rich when these friends were in this world with me. I don’t think I’ll ever know friendship like this again. And life will never be the same again.
Thank you guys. For being there when no one else was. For being my friends. I love you, and miss you. Always.
I need to honour all these guys.
Flash (12th March 2005, to 27th December 2005) came into my life when my life had fallen apart. He was a sweet, quirky, comedic little fellow, who was alongside me through some of the most torrid times of my life. He showed me unconditional acceptance- something I’ve been we had before.
He fathered Sky and Moon, and, when he died, they became everything to me.
Moon (6th October 2005 to 15th March 2007) was an independent, feisty, incredibly intelligent companion, who would sleep on my best, groom me, and yet was very independent. With hindsight, her life was not what it could and should have been, and I feel so, so guilty about that, although I know I can’t now change it. I just hope that she knows how loved she was, even though we got it so very wrong.
Sky (6th October 2005 to 28th August 2013) became my absolute world, and my everything- the very best friend I ever had. We were inseparable, and he would get ill if I wasn’t around. He was the one who forced me to confront my demons, and to start fighting. I promised him I would fight for as long as he lived. He was quirky, and moody, but loving and loyal. He was mine, and I was his.
He fathered several children, the oldest of whom was Cloud.
Cloud (17th July 2006 to 10th April 2010) was the only surviving bunny from his litter. He was aggressive and feisty, but confident and outgoing- but he was a bit of a nightmare. But he was mine, and I loved him, no matter what.
Moon, Sky and Cloud all came to visit me on the psych ward, when I was in many pieces nine months after Flash died. The staff there recognised the clear importance of my bunny friends.
After losing Moon, I then made my final bad choice and Sky fathered seven incredible little bunnies- all of whom lived long, long lives. All seven of them, lived to seven years old, but then we started to lose them.
Hope (3rd June 2007 to 14th November 2014) was the oddball. He was the one who would be sleeping, whilst everyone else was eating. Or drinking whilst everyone else was sleeping. He was a tad simple, but such a gentle soul. Nothing remotely feisty in him. He was the smallest of the litter, which is how he ended up with his name.
Sunny (3rd June 2007 to 22nd June 2015) was the only girl of the litter. She was very like her mum, Sandy, but she had all the intelligence of Moon because she was smart. And she was so smart, that she would put other bunnies into the firing line to investigate whatever ideas she had. She was independent though, and not a fan of strokes, but did like company, and did like to lick.
Dusk (3rd June 2007 to 4th July 2015) was a nice little bunny, and the only one who never spent time living in my room- something I wish wasn’t the case. He was so nice natured, but also quirky, but managed to earn the trust of the most volatile rabbit we ever owned- Candyfloss. I have so much respect for him for how he befriended her and how they lived together.
Star (3rd June 2007 to 13th October 2015) was my single feisty bunny, who had no chance of being bonded. He was very much like Sky in nature, but more highly strung. He was so beautiful, but needed careful handling. I never had a problem, but he scared everyone else. For me, he just loved strokes, he was perky and bright, and always greeted me in the door way.
Lightning (3rd June 2007 to 22nd April 2018) was the most photogenic of the group (but not really in this photo), and a really nice soul, he was more like a puppy and spent many years very happily bonded. He was a character and enjoyed his nose rubs, but he also had a really comedic side, and gave us all many laughs.
Angel (3rd June 2007 to 18th September 2018) lived in our living room for most of his life, and our life revolved around him. He was keen for food, and loved to be adored. He was cheeky and loved to escape, and was boss of everyone but me.
Dawn (3rd June 2007 to 5th November 2018), the last remaining bunny, who had a very sweet nature, but was the quietest of all of them. He was playful and curious, but much more a rabbit, preferring other rabbits, to some of his brothers.
These guys and girls are all the result of choices that I would not make now, but I cannot regret them, because my beautiful, wonderful bunnies have been my constant companions through the toughest years of my lives. I learned to live because of them, especially Sky. I felt the greatest love at them all being around. I also felt the greatest pain as they have, one by one, left.
I am now without any of them, without any part of Flash, without any part of Sky. My heart feels empty and broken, but I feel so blessed to have had these guys in my life, and to have had them all for so long.
It’s a very sad time for me to realise that my constant companions have now all left. These have been my friends, and in the absence of human friends, they have been all I’ve had. I would not change that for the world. It feels important, now that they have all left, to really acknowledge the full picture, and everything they gave.
I got involved in rabbit rescue because of these guys. I ended up with a sanctuary for sick and disabled bunnies, because of these guys. I live, because of these guys- especially Sky- I survived things I shouldn’t have survived, because of him. Everything I do and am, is because of these guys.
But today, I just need to remember them all, as a collective, for all they have given me, and all they have given the other bunnies who benefitted from my presence in the rescue community.
Life has a huge hole and will always have that hole, but life was so rich when these friends were in this world with me. I don’t think I’ll ever know friendship like this again. And life will never be the same again.
Thank you guys. For being there when no one else was. For being my friends. I love you, and miss you. Always.
I am sure all of us on here have made choices for our pets that we wouldn’t make now, or again, but you shouldn’t blame yourself for those, you do the best you can with the knowledge that you had at that time. I am glad that they were all there in your life for you, and with you. They leave a lasting legacy behind, and I believe a part of them will always be there with you. 
