Lucy, I was in your position once too.
I tried for so long & so hard for Snoopy, it was different circumstances I will admit. but in the end, none of it mattered, he was gone, and that was that. perhaps in Snoopy's case for the better, he wasn't living, he was barely surviving, more suffering.
after I walked out of the vets office as he was PTS in my arms, I felt empty. I looked at Luna in her carrier, I felt nothing. I was numb. I too sat there and didn't think I would ever get over it. in some ways, I haven't. I still cry, I still miss him, I still feel sad.
I tried to focus my attention towards Luna, I spoiled her rotten with treats, hugs, attention.. everything that I had for Snoopy, I gave to her instead. I found it helpful to redirect my attention and try and keep myself busy.
but the pain has faded. it doesn't feel like a punch in the gut anymore, its just sadness and missing him. I haven't cried as much over something's death as Snoopy, not even my grandparents as horrible as that is. Snoopy was mine and I loved him so much. I had such a connection with him, and I spent so much time with him.
I promise you, its gonna flippin hurt for quite some time, but you will move on. you will feel better. you will "get over this". if anything, I will do my damnedest to make sure of that. you will be okay in the end.
it feels very dark right now, frightening, and upsetting. but the light will be back again soon, it just takes some time.
just be kind to yourself. it's not even be a day yet. its going to take some time to heal a little. please, please be kind and easy on yourself. I love you, we all love you, we all have hugs waiting for you even though they virtual.
I wanted to send you a card but I lost the thing with your address on, but I don't want to bug you right now.
*hugs*