• Forum/Server Upgrade If you are reading this you have made it to the upgraded forum. Posts made on the old forum after 26th October 2023 have not been transfered. Everything else should be here. If you find any issues please let us know.

Our beautiful Toby

loobers25 said:
Thank you everyone. I wasn't expecting to have so many lovely messages this morning.

The thing that troubles me... I knew he was going to die young or early. The amount of stasis and gas episodes, me and OH had actually discussed PTS if he kept doing it because I didn't want him to die like Millie did. Obviously both being pets a home bunnies and the same age I believe they had genetics. I could see that Toby was acting off so I kept taking him to John. We had the choking, then I just had a feeling so I took him on the Monday to get his heart checked. Then on the Saturday he was In stasis then died Monday. I was so happy to go and collect him as I thought we had got away with it one more time. I see him him his carrier and he was looking really knackered and woobly on his feet. Just like Charlie did on the way home from John's after his ear surgery and stasis. I said to joe 'what pain killers have they give him he's off his nut". I even said "do you want to pull over and have a look at him?" OH said "it will be the pain killers again, John's let him go home for a reason". Then we continued driving and then he kept falling about and that's when I phoned the practice. John came back and we turnt the car around he was getting worse and worse then his head rotated to the side and collapsed. We managed to find a random vet on the way and ran through reception shouting if anyone could help us. A vet just grabbed the carrier and rushed him in. Our Toby had gone. We had to continue driving to John where he was waiting.

I feel like it was a really cruel way for Toby to die, he really suffered for around 20 minutes and there was nothing I could do. I wish I had him PTS or was able to treat him at home. Toby wanted to live to though, he loved food, climbing, attention, running around. He enjoyed his little life.

I did everything I could to help Toby. I did not want to loose him like Millie and my life was constant worry.

He was such a funny special boy and ill miss him always.

I get bad flashbacks at random times, could be working, out shopping. Will I ever be able to process that?

Sorry if anyone actually read all that just needed to write stuff. I'm going to go intrude the Syrup-Hoppington warren now and tell them I love them.

Sent from my GT-I9195 using Tapatalk
Click to expand...

I think the flashbacks & intensity of pain will ebb & flow, in time becoming more manageable.

Toby is the perfect example of how taking ALL the right steps to care for & protect him were no more able to save him than your bottomless pit of love I do suspect you probably bought him a little extra time & doubtless gave him an amazing lifestyle. It was obvious he was a happy bun & he was up to all sorts of shenanigans right up to his last stasis episode.

Regarding his passing I think its high likely he wasn't conscious of what was going on. Something that would look traumatic to us wouldn't necessarily reflect your bunnies experience of it.

Send my love to your wonderful pair too xx
 
joey&boo said:
I think the flashbacks & intensity of pain will ebb & flow, in time becoming more manageable.

Toby is the perfect example of how taking ALL the right steps to care for & protect him were no more able to save him than your bottomless pit of love I do suspect you probably bought him a little extra time & doubtless gave him an amazing lifestyle. It was obvious he was a happy bun & he was up to all sorts of shenanigans right up to his last stasis episode.

Regarding his passing I think its high likely he wasn't conscious of what was going on. Something that would look traumatic to us wouldn't necessarily reflect your bunnies experience of it.

Send my love to your wonderful pair too xx
Click to expand...
Oh yes I keep forgetting that. I always think he was aware but I'm hoping he was not. That would comfort me a lot if he didn't know xx

Sent from my GT-I9195 using Tapatalk
 
loobers25 said:
Thank you everyone. I wasn't expecting to have so many lovely messages this morning.

The thing that troubles me... I knew he was going to die young or early. The amount of stasis and gas episodes, me and OH had actually discussed PTS if he kept doing it because I didn't want him to die like Millie did. Obviously both being pets a home bunnies and the same age I believe they had genetics. I could see that Toby was acting off so I kept taking him to John. We had the choking, then I just had a feeling so I took him on the Monday to get his heart checked. Then on the Saturday he was In stasis then died Monday. I was so happy to go and collect him as I thought we had got away with it one more time. I see him him his carrier and he was looking really knackered and woobly on his feet. Just like Charlie did on the way home from John's after his ear surgery and stasis. I said to joe 'what pain killers have they give him he's off his nut". I even said "do you want to pull over and have a look at him?" OH said "it will be the pain killers again, John's let him go home for a reason". Then we continued driving and then he kept falling about and that's when I phoned the practice. John came back and we turnt the car around he was getting worse and worse then his head rotated to the side and collapsed. We managed to find a random vet on the way and ran through reception shouting if anyone could help us. A vet just grabbed the carrier and rushed him in. Our Toby had gone. We had to continue driving to John where he was waiting.

I feel like it was a really cruel way for Toby to die, he really suffered for around 20 minutes and there was nothing I could do. I wish I had him PTS or was able to treat him at home. Toby wanted to live to though, he loved food, climbing, attention, running around. He enjoyed his little life.

I did everything I could to help Toby. I did not want to loose him like Millie and my life was constant worry.

He was such a funny special boy and ill miss him always.

I get bad flashbacks at random times, could be working, out shopping. Will I ever be able to process that?

Sorry if anyone actually read all that just needed to write stuff. I'm going to go intrude the Syrup-Hoppington warren now and tell them I love them.

Sent from my GT-I9195 using Tapatalk
Click to expand...
I don't think he knew what was going on :( and the flashbacks lessen and the pain gets more manageable, I really am so sorry xxxx

Sent via carrier pigeon
 
loobers25 said:
Thank you everyone. I wasn't expecting to have so many lovely messages this morning.

The thing that troubles me... I knew he was going to die young or early. The amount of stasis and gas episodes, me and OH had actually discussed PTS if he kept doing it because I didn't want him to die like Millie did. Obviously both being pets a home bunnies and the same age I believe they had genetics. I could see that Toby was acting off so I kept taking him to John. We had the choking, then I just had a feeling so I took him on the Monday to get his heart checked. Then on the Saturday he was In stasis then died Monday. I was so happy to go and collect him as I thought we had got away with it one more time. I see him him his carrier and he was looking really knackered and woobly on his feet. Just like Charlie did on the way home from John's after his ear surgery and stasis. I said to joe 'what pain killers have they give him he's off his nut". I even said "do you want to pull over and have a look at him?" OH said "it will be the pain killers again, John's let him go home for a reason". Then we continued driving and then he kept falling about and that's when I phoned the practice. John came back and we turnt the car around he was getting worse and worse then his head rotated to the side and collapsed. We managed to find a random vet on the way and ran through reception shouting if anyone could help us. A vet just grabbed the carrier and rushed him in. Our Toby had gone. We had to continue driving to John where he was waiting.

I feel like it was a really cruel way for Toby to die, he really suffered for around 20 minutes and there was nothing I could do. I wish I had him PTS or was able to treat him at home. Toby wanted to live to though, he loved food, climbing, attention, running around. He enjoyed his little life.

I did everything I could to help Toby. I did not want to loose him like Millie and my life was constant worry.

He was such a funny special boy and ill miss him always.

I get bad flashbacks at random times, could be working, out shopping. Will I ever be able to process that?

Sorry if anyone actually read all that just needed to write stuff. I'm going to go intrude the Syrup-Hoppington warren now and tell them I love them.

Sent from my GT-I9195 using Tapatalk
Click to expand...


I am sorry you are getting flashbacks. It will get easier to bear as time goes on, and your memories will be of all the happy times you had together. He was so special :love:
 
loobers25 said:
Thank you everyone. I wasn't expecting to have so many lovely messages this morning.

The thing that troubles me... I knew he was going to die young or early. The amount of stasis and gas episodes, me and OH had actually discussed PTS if he kept doing it because I didn't want him to die like Millie did. Obviously both being pets a home bunnies and the same age I believe they had genetics. I could see that Toby was acting off so I kept taking him to John. We had the choking, then I just had a feeling so I took him on the Monday to get his heart checked. Then on the Saturday he was In stasis then died Monday. I was so happy to go and collect him as I thought we had got away with it one more time. I see him him his carrier and he was looking really knackered and woobly on his feet. Just like Charlie did on the way home from John's after his ear surgery and stasis. I said to joe 'what pain killers have they give him he's off his nut". I even said "do you want to pull over and have a look at him?" OH said "it will be the pain killers again, John's let him go home for a reason". Then we continued driving and then he kept falling about and that's when I phoned the practice. John came back and we turnt the car around he was getting worse and worse then his head rotated to the side and collapsed. We managed to find a random vet on the way and ran through reception shouting if anyone could help us. A vet just grabbed the carrier and rushed him in. Our Toby had gone. We had to continue driving to John where he was waiting.

I feel like it was a really cruel way for Toby to die, he really suffered for around 20 minutes and there was nothing I could do. I wish I had him PTS or was able to treat him at home. Toby wanted to live to though, he loved food, climbing, attention, running around. He enjoyed his little life.

I did everything I could to help Toby. I did not want to loose him like Millie and my life was constant worry.

He was such a funny special boy and ill miss him always.

I get bad flashbacks at random times, could be working, out shopping. Will I ever be able to process that?

Sorry if anyone actually read all that just needed to write stuff. I'm going to go intrude the Syrup-Hoppington warren now and tell them I love them.

Sent from my GT-I9195 using Tapatalk
Click to expand...

I am replying specifically to your sentence that I have highlighted above. Witnessing any death is a traumatic experience. But when we feel that we 'should' have been able to do more to help our beloved Rabbit it stands to reason that we will keep replaying 'the end' over and over again. A subconscious way of punishing ourselves maybe, or a manifestation of the guilt we feel for what we perceive to be our inadequacies, our inability to do enough to help.

I wont go into details, but I was once 100% responsible for the death of a 6 week old kit. Intellectually I know it was a result of a tragic accident. But emotionally I felt/feel that I was/am a complete failure for that baby Rabbit. The event happened almost 20 years ago. Whilst I no longer get so many flashbacks very occasionally one will strike, seemingly out of no-where .

Why am I sharing this here ? Because I think that witnessing a particularly traumatic death brings additional components to how we are subsequently effected. A loss is a loss, however it occurs. But when the death is apparently not 'peaceful' we have to find a way to process that on top of processing the loss itself.

People may say 'time heals'. In part this may be true. But we are all individuals and 'healing' can take different forms for each of us. So try not to set yourself 'rules' as to how you feel you 'should' be dealing with Toby's death. How you feel, what you think and what you believe are all OK. They are your feelings and no-one can tell you that you should think or feel any differently.

All of the above may read as a load of drivel and/or make no sense at all. In short I am just trying to say that your loss of Toby is something that you may never 'get over', but as the years pass you will hopefully learn ways to manage the grief and also to incorporate many happy memories alongside it. To remember a Soul Rabbit and smile does not mean we no longer feel so bereft. It just means we are allowing happier feelings about our dear friend to be acknowledged too.

Sorry for the epic post x
 
Jack's-Jane said:
I am replying specifically to your sentence that I have highlighted above. Witnessing any death is a traumatic experience. But when we feel that we 'should' have been able to do more to help our beloved Rabbit it stands to reason that we will keep replaying 'the end' over and over again. A subconscious way of punishing ourselves maybe, or a manifestation of the guilt we feel for what we perceive to be our inadequacies, our inability to do enough to help.

I wont go into details, but I was once 100% responsible for the death of a 6 week old kit. Intellectually I know it was a result of a tragic accident. But emotionally I felt/feel that I was/am a complete failure for that baby Rabbit. The event happened almost 20 years ago. Whilst I no longer get so many flashbacks very occasionally one will strike, seemingly out of no-where .

Why am I sharing this here ? Because I think that witnessing a particularly traumatic death brings additional components to how we are subsequently effected. A loss is a loss, however it occurs. But when the death is apparently not 'peaceful' we have to find a way to process that on top of processing the loss itself.

People may say 'time heals'. In part this may be true. But we are all individuals and 'healing' can take different forms for each of us. So try not to set yourself 'rules' as to how you feel you 'should' be dealing with Toby's death. How you feel, what you think and what you believe are all OK. They are your feelings and no-one can tell you that you should think or feel any differently.

All of the above may read as a load of drivel and/or make no sense at all. In short I am just trying to say that your loss of Toby is something that you may never 'get over', but as the years pass you will hopefully learn ways to manage the grief and also to incorporate many happy memories alongside it. To remember a Soul Rabbit and smile does not mean we no longer feel so bereft. It just means we are allowing happier feelings about our dear friend to be acknowledged too.

Sorry for the epic post x
Click to expand...
You are right about the traumatic death :( definitely makes everything hurt a lot more. Thank you for sharing your experience, I hope I can too be ok with it. If I am totally honest it's really made me nervous of keeping animals. I hope I can always PTS

Xx

Sent from my GT-I9195 using Tapatalk
 
loobers25 said:
You are right about the traumatic death :( definitely makes everything hurt a lot more. Thank you for sharing your experience, I hope I can too be ok with it. If I am totally honest it's really made me nervous of keeping animals. I hope I can always PTS

Xx

Sent from my GT-I9195 using Tapatalk
Click to expand...

I think most of us have a degree of anxiety about having Pets. I doubt there are many people who feel they know it all, never make a mistake or have things go wrong. It's just as well those sort of Pet owners are few and far between. Most of us care, we want to get it right. So we constantly question ourselves. We want to know what to do and when to do it. But we are all human. We all just try to do our best and any decisions we make come from a desire to do what is in the best interest of the Pet concerned.

Toby could not have had a better home and although his life may have been relatively short, it was a life full of love. A life free of the neglect that all too many Pet Rabbits endure xx
 
I find alot of what Jane says to be incredibly moving but also extremely accurate. It's always painful to read how we are judged. But it also take enormous courage and strength to open up and allow people in in the first place. Perhaps we assume that we've become too conditioned with life and we life by a set of expectations - because that's what we see and hear every day. "This takes x long to work, that takes x long to heal and so on". But our memories and emotions are different. There is no time. That is why we care for animals. We care for their wellbeing, their health and their lives. And in a very strange way and one I'm not entirely comfortable with, we also hold the power to be able to PTS our loved animals - something we are unable to do for ourselves. So we carry that burdon of responsibility too. Despite how different and unique we all are, we share the passion of loving our animals - far more than many understand. We bond with our pets and they are as much a part of us as we are with them. Dealing with that loss is different for everyone but that process takes time.
It's ok to share how you feel - I can't speak on behalf of everyone but I feel the sense of loss you do because Toby was such a huge personality on this forum and I believe it is right and fitting that this tribute remains active for people to come in and out of, to share how they feel and remember what a truly special, unique and loved rabbit Toby was. His spirit touched all of us and his memory will certanly live on through the forum. It is only right that Toby does.
 
Craig 1965 said:
His spirit touched all of us and his memory will certanly live on through the forum. It is only right that Toby does.
Click to expand...


Most definitely. On the short time I've been on the forum, it's clear what a special bunny he was and how well you cared for him.
Before I registered on the forum, I came across many of your threads following his stasis journey and changing his diet etc, which I used to help turn things around for Snowy and her frequent gas episodes. It's mainly what made me register. Touch wood but she hasn't been to the vets for stasis for six months now and I credit a lot of that the things that you did for Toby :love:

Your love and sadness for him won't go away, but it will get easier in time xx
 
nap91 said:
Most definitely. On the short time I've been on the forum, it's clear what a special bunny he was and how well you cared for him.
Before I registered on the forum, I came across many of your threads following his stasis journey and changing his diet etc, which I used to help turn things around for Snowy and her frequent gas episodes. It's mainly what made me register. Touch wood but she hasn't been to the vets for stasis for six months now and I credit a lot of that the things that you did for Toby :love:

Your love and sadness for him won't go away, but it will get easier in time xx
Click to expand...
Oh I'm so happy Snowy is doing well. We managed 5 months with Toby but I believe he wasnt on enough or correct drugs. I'm glad Toby could help you in some way xx

Sent from my GT-I9195 using Tapatalk
 
I had the most bunderful dream last night. Toby was sploofing on the window seal and i hoped I had remembered to raise the blinds so he couldn't chew them in the night

Sent from my GT-I9195 using Tapatalk
 
loobers25 said:
Oh I'm so happy Snowy is doing well. We managed 5 months with Toby but I believe he wasnt on enough or correct drugs. I'm glad Toby could help you in some way xx

Sent from my GT-I9195 using Tapatalk
Click to expand...

It’s normal to wonder if you had the time again if you changed anything would it have changed the outcome, but he had the very best of care from one of the best rabbit vets in the country, and outstanding love, care and attention from you, and I honestly believe no one could have done any more for Toby :love:

I’m so sorry you are having flashbacks, that is normal too in this kind of situation. Poor Boots died on the way to the vets and I had flashbacks of that, particularly as I have to go the same way very often to go to lots of places, but it does get easier in time, and now I remember him when he was well and all the good times we shared :love:
 
loobers25 said:
I had the most bunderful dream last night. Toby was sploofing on the window seal and i hoped I had remembered to raise the blinds so he couldn't chew them in the night

Sent from my GT-I9195 using Tapatalk
Click to expand...

That is lovely :love:
 
loobers25 said:
I had the most bunderful dream last night. Toby was sploofing on the window seal and i hoped I had remembered to raise the blinds so he couldn't chew them in the night

Sent from my GT-I9195 using Tapatalk
Click to expand...

:love:

Every now and again I have a dream with Frankie in it. We lost her 3 years ago so it's nice to see her at least that way again :)
 
I love you Tippy
facc40b5b1437eb3b3008f86cd964d3b.jpg


Sent from my GT-I9195 using Tapatalk
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

J
White covering on Rabbits eye
Replies
1
Views
160
InspectorMorse
InspectorMorse
B
Helping my aging bunny Recover <3
Replies
11
Views
330
bunnyp
B
twistedtiggerz69
Mr Chief not eating
Replies
11
Views
684
twistedtiggerz69
twistedtiggerz69
Back
Top