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So sorry Benjamin

L

lizziesos999

Young Bun
Hope I'm doing this right, never been on any kind of social media before! Benjamin passed away 7 days ago and I'm still crying. He was my first rabbit. I always wanted one, so when my son said he would like a rabbit he didn't need to ask twice! I fell in love quickly as Benjamin was a particularly beautiful boy (biased!) and an easy character, so I didn't mind that I ended up being the one who cared for him every day as mums offen do. We got him a lovely companion too, a doe called Clover. I got them both neutered and vaccinated for mixi and RHD 1 and 2 and I tried to learn all about rabbit care. I trimmed their nails, checked their tummies and bottoms and fed them on hay, pellets, veggies, water and the odd rabbit treat. They slept in a hutch outside, but would also come indoors and run about in the lounge and on the lawn. I admit I had a real soft spot for Benjamin. Last weekend we went away, so I took them to a lady who boards rabbits. She had had them before while we were on holiday. They were overdue for their boosters but couldn't get booked in at the vets until we got back. Before I went to collect them the lady called to tell me the bad news. Benjamin was quite a nervous rabbit, and apparently there was a loud noise outside, so it could have been a heart attack, or any of the other things a rabbit can die suddenly from, but Benjamin was just 16 months old, was hopping around one minute and found dead 2 hours later. There was a smear of blood by his face on the towel he was wrapped in. So, although I will never know for sure as we buried him straight away in the garden, I believe the most likely scenario is that he died of RHD and it's my fault for allowing him to be 4 weeks overdue and then taking him to a place where there are other rabbits. I suppose I thought roughly annually would be ok, but I know now too late that it's not. He was still covered for RHD2 but should have had his combined jab earlier. I just want someone to shoot me to, A- give me what I deserve and B- put me out of my missery. I need to snap out of it, I have 2 boys to look after and a husband who doesn't get it. Sorry to go on......

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lizziesos999 said:
Hope I'm doing this right, never been on any kind of social media before! Benjamin passed away 7 days ago and I'm still crying. He was my first rabbit. I always wanted one, so when my son said he would like a rabbit he didn't need to ask twice! I fell in love quickly as Benjamin was a particularly beautiful boy (biased!) and an easy character, so I didn't mind that I ended up being the one who cared for him every day as mums offen do. We got him a lovely companion too, a doe called Clover. I got them both neutered and vaccinated for mixi and RHD 1 and 2 and I tried to learn all about rabbit care. I trimmed their nails, checked their tummies and bottoms and fed them on hay, pellets, veggies, water and the odd rabbit treat. They slept in a hutch outside, but would also come indoors and run about in the lounge and on the lawn. I admit I had a real soft spot for Benjamin. Last weekend we went away, so I took them to a lady who boards rabbits. She had had them before while we were on holiday. They were overdue for their boosters but couldn't get booked in at the vets until we got back. Before I went to collect them the lady called to tell me the bad news. Benjamin was quite a nervous rabbit, and apparently there was a loud noise outside, so it could have been a heart attack, or any of the other things a rabbit can die suddenly from, but Benjamin was just 16 months old, was hopping around one minute and found dead 2 hours later. There was a smear of blood by his face on the towel he was wrapped in. So, although I will never know for sure as we buried him straight away in the garden, I believe the most likely scenario is that he died of RHD and it's my fault for allowing him to be 4 weeks overdue and then taking him to a place where there are other rabbits. I suppose I thought roughly annually would be ok, but I know now too late that it's not. He was still covered for RHD2 but should have had his combined jab earlier. I just want someone to shoot me to, A- give me what I deserve and B- put me out of my missery. I need to snap out of it, I have 2 boys to look after and a husband who doesn't get it. Sorry to go on......

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Welcome to the Forum, but I am so sorry it's under such sad circumstances :(

Without a post-mortem it's impossible to say what happened to poor Benjamin, but I will say that the vaccine doesn't 'expire' after 12 months and immunity has been tested to 13 months at least so I really cannot believe that it's anything to do with that.

What I would do is give your vet a ring, explain the circumstances, and just ask what his feeling might be as to possible causes. Then I think you can stop blaming yourself for something that I truly believe is not your fault, and think about getting Clover a little companion. Obviously your vet will be able to give you the best advice, and may want to check Clover just to be sure there's no signs of anything that can have been transmitted.

Hugs to you x
 
Welcome to the forum and I echo what MM says above. I fully understand the feelings that you are experiencing as I myself, joined the forum almost exactly one year ago under similiar circumstances. My bun Ben passed very suddenly, having just lost his wife bun and I have found much comfort from everyone here on the forum. There is an abundance of support and compassion from everyone here as well as endless helpful advice for anything rabbit related.
Like you, I have often wondered what made my bridge bun pass as he did and like you, I will never know. It churns me every day and I understand the grief that you feel because of the not knowing why.
The event is still raw with you and in some ways, it is undersdtandible to feel as you do. It's an immediate reaction because you care - and that's a good thing.
We all take our own time with these things - there's no time limit on how long. But as MM says, you shouldn't blame yourself because it wasn't your fault. You gave Benjamin a safe and happy life filled with love and care and that is what he wanted. His needs were catered for and he was safe with you.
Moving on is always the most difficult step - I did and it doesn't stop me thinking about my bridge buns. I still shed a tear every day for the loss but I have new rabbits to care for and focussing on them helps me. It is important to remember your Benjamin in whatever way is special for you and your family.
Hugs to you and I hope you can move forward.
 
Hi MightyMax,
Thank you so much for your kind reply. They were booked for their annual check and jab 3 days after he died, so I got the chance to discuss it then. Clover was fine. She seems a tougher bunny than Benjamin was. The vet said there should be some overlap of immunity, but that every animal is different. She also said the way he died does suggest RHD, but it's impossible to know for sure. She also said I might choose to vaccinate against RHD2 every 6 months in future. Obviously I have been trawling the internet for info and wish I knew a couple of months ago what I know now. I have also been looking for a friend for Clover, but I have realised that I'm really just looking for Benjamin and he's not there. I think I'll have to look for a completely different bunny.
Thanks for the hugs- I need them! X

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Thank you Craig for your hugs and kind words of support. My brain is telling me that you are right. I just need my broken heart to catch up a bit.
X

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lizziesos999 said:
Hi MightyMax,
Thank you so much for your kind reply. They were booked for their annual check and jab 3 days after he died, so I got the chance to discuss it then. Clover was fine. She seems a tougher bunny than Benjamin was. The vet said there should be some overlap of immunity, but that every animal is different. She also said the way he died does suggest RHD, but it's impossible to know for sure. She also said I might choose to vaccinate against RHD2 every 6 months in future. Obviously I have been trawling the internet for info and wish I knew a couple of months ago what I know now. I have also been looking for a friend for Clover, but I have realised that I'm really just looking for Benjamin and he's not there. I think I'll have to look for a completely different bunny.
Thanks for the hugs- I need them! X

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I was going to suggest that you think about RHD2 eery six months, but I didn't want to sound insensitive at this difficult time.

It's impossible to know what kind of a response Benjamin's immune system mounted when he last had the vaccination so hard to advise whether 6 monthly or yearly. Whatever, I believe you did everything right, and couldn't have done more to protect your loved little ones. Benjamin may have had some underlying condition that no-one knew about and that brought things about that might otherwise never have happened.

There's some info here about RHD2, but as you say, it's an individual thing whether to vaccinate six monthly or yearly:

http://forums.rabbitrehome.org.uk/showthread.php?471653-**NEW**-RHD2-Updated-August-2018

https://www.harcourt-brown.co.uk/owners/frequently-asked-questions/FAQRHD


You might want to discuss biosecurity with your vet - cleaning the hutch/litter tray etc ... with Anigene or Virkon.
 
And I wanted to say also, the first rabbit I got was in response to a request from my daughter.
And like you, I had always wanted a rabbit so I jumped at the chance and never looked back :)

Please feel free to PM me for hugs and support. I understand x
 
I’m so sorry you lost Benjamin:cry: they are so fragile sometimes.

Thinking of you and sending hugs xx
 
Thank you MM for the info. Clover is already booked in for her RHD2 booster, (leaving 2 weeks between jabs of course). I'm not going to make the same mistake again. It's also interesting to read different people's ideas about the safe period of time to wait before bringing another bunny into the environment. And yes, I will definitely be disinfecting everything in sight like a mad woman.
I think it's possible Benjamin could have had a heart problem, who knows. I can't help wishing I had never gone away, but at least I will be a better carer for Clover now that I'm not quite so ignorant.

X

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Thank you to everyone who has commented. It has been very helpful. I will probably keep wondering what happened and thinking about what I could or should have done differently. Poor Benjamin should have had so much longer and deserved so much better, but I will try to just remember him for the lovely bunny that he was. My heart goes out to anyone who has experienced similar.
Xxx
dfb297625a638abf581e38337d0beb3f.jpg

9664b48e7476f1e913726c8addd94167.jpg


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Big big hugs for your loss. What a beautiful boy.

Don't blame yourself, there could have been many reasons Benjamin passed away.
 
Thank you BYB, yes the not knowing is hard. Benjamin was 9 months post vaccination for RHD2, so if it was that then annually is definitely not enough. I will be sticking to 6m in future. As for RHD1, I have read that it has died out in the UK, but can't find much info on that. I would be interested to know if anyone knows anything. If it was neither of these, then maybe I just didn't realise he had a problem, or he had a shock.
Thanks anyway. X

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I'm so so sorry for your loss :( please try to be kind to yourself, I know it's hard :( xxx

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Hi Lizzie, so sorry for your loss, I completely understand how you feel and I feel it's so much harder to come to terms with their loss when your not there when they pass.

My absolute world was being cared for by a neighbour whilst we went away and died the day after we arrived in the other country. I never saw him sleeping and still struggle to come to terms with his loss now and it was 3yrs ago. Fortunately I had a postmortem which revealed his cause of death but there's still a lot of what if's and I'll never know exactly what happened which makes it all the harder.

Although Clover does need a friend you need to grieve too, I got mine a friend a couple of months after but I was still crying and whenever I looked after the new rabbit it just made me sadder. Eventually we developed an amazing bond too so he did help but it took time.

Just give Clover extra cuddles and attention and talk to her about Benjamin, maybe get her a soft teddy to cuddle up to in the meantime? X

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