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Thread: Too little too late. New here and in need of support.

  1. #1

    Default Too little too late. New here and in need of support.

    I am new on this forum but have joined under sad circumstances.

    My rabbit called Little Girl was put to sleep yesterday. I don't feel when I talk about her to other people they understand. There are lines for pet bereavement but I need to speak to other people who have had rabbits. Its difficult as people don't realise rabbits have such unique and different personalty traits.

    I have so much guilt. I was reassured nothing could be done for her large tumour. But I feel I should have done more earlier. I didn't spot it until it was too late and the vet said it had probably spread. I wish I could have one more summer with her. I sat in the garden and did some gardening the day before she was put to sleep, I and thought to myself I will leave the rabbits in the shade of their hutch as the weather was intensely hot. On the night before I rushed her to the vets in the morning, I said to the family shall I bring Little Girl in and its was a "No she will be in the way I wouldn't do it until tomorrow" I had no idea anything of this would happen so fast or even at all. When I woke up that day yesterday

    I just miss her so much I love her deary. She was a 'scaredy' rabbit, and she didn't mind being held she loved be stroked but didn't like being picked up. Sometimes when she was young for the first few years I would bring her in but she would hide. She had beautiful long eye lashes and you could tell by just looking at her she was a female. I feel its end of a era in my life, I had her for six years. This is what the problem is for me - Google that is my problem. Rabbits according to a Google search should live 8-12 years. She did not - I failed. I cant get over this feeling. I keep punishing myself saying she should have gone to a different home. But then I remember back she was the last nobody wanted in her litter. I have the memory of taking her home for the first time so strong. I have other pets rabbits from her family related to her, but Little Girl was my first. Little Girl was the one I only had a deep connection with and was my special one, she had the best and kindest temperament. She was a cautious rabbit but seemed wise.

    I have to carry on for my other rabbits but now my special first rabbit is gone, I find it hard to love them. Its been a short time, but I feel guilty for burying her this morning and carrying on. It was very emotional, and thought to myself I can never move home ever in the future now she is buried here in the back garden. Unless the new owners let me visit. The pain is so intense and guilt.

    I think it's the ending, of her life that has done this to me. The putting Little Girl to sleep. It was so sudden that she had one day left. If she had passed away on her own in her sleep I would be broken but it was the fact I had to drive her to the vets sit and wait a while for the late running appointment and pay to have her put down. It was a absolutely dreadful finish. Last night I had terrible nightmares with the moment her being injected in the vets room. The nightmare was so real. But in the nightmare I was in the vets examination room with her and the vet said she was taking too long and had to see other animals with their owners while I was still in the room holding her on the table. It's was a horrendous nightmare.

    Please let know how I can get past this guilt. I feel bad as she is such a loss as she was so special. I feel I should have loved her more, but then I remember and I cant punish myself. I have realised the past few days that Little Girl was a rabbit, I keep confusing myself and blaming myself for not treating her like a cat or dog. I treated her like a rabbit, I wish I had her on my bed more and run around the house. But this is false image because she wasn't meant to do thing like that it wasn't natural to her breed. How do I know she knew she was loved. She was always a cautions rabbit. The thought of her not being here, Little Girl thinking to herself and moving her stuff about, is devastating.
    Last edited by Oliver; 07-07-2018 at 06:28 PM.

  2. #2
    Alpha Buck Leannean27's Avatar
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    Welcome to the forum, even if your first visit here is under such sad circumstances

    I'm so sorry for your loss of Little Girl she sounds like an absolute beauty of a bunny. If I was you I would write down in a diary or notepad everything you can about her, her little quirks, the things she did that made you smile, laugh or even cross so that when time has healed some of your pain, because it really does - although you will of course never forget, you will be able to read it back and you will smile and remember everything about her which time makes you almost forget sometimes. It's what I did for my lovely boy and when I have a bad day thinking about him I read it back and I feel at peace again.

    Rabbits are notoriously bad at showing pain, until sometimes it is too late. Please don't beat yourself up about it and just give your other buns extra cuddles and love x

    Sent from my HTC One_M8 using Tapatalk

  3. #3
    Wise Old Thumper MightyMax's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Oliver View Post
    I am new on this forum but have joined under sad circumstances.

    My rabbit called Little Girl was put to sleep yesterday. I don't feel when I talk about her to other people they understand. There are lines for pet bereavement but I need to speak to other people who have had rabbits. Its difficult as people don't realise rabbits have such unique and different personalty traits.

    I have so much guilt. I was reassured nothing could be done for her large tumour. But I feel I should have done more earlier. I didn't spot it until it was too late and the vet said it had probably spread. I wish I could have one more summer with her. I sat in the garden and did some gardening the day before she was put to sleep, I and thought to myself I will leave the rabbits in the shade of their hutch as the weather was intensely hot. On the night before I rushed her to the vets in the morning, I said to the family shall I bring Little Girl in and its was a "No she will be in the way I wouldn't do it until tomorrow" I had no idea anything of this would happen so fast or even at all. When I woke up that day yesterday

    I just miss her so much I love her deary. She was a 'scaredy' rabbit, and she didn't mind being held she loved be stroked but didn't like being picked up. Sometimes when she was young for the first few years I would bring her in but she would hide. She had beautiful long eye lashes and you could tell by just looking at her she was a female. I feel its end of a era in my life, I had her for six years. This is what the problem is for me - Google that is my problem. Rabbits according to a Google search should live 8-12 years. She did not - I failed. I cant get over this feeling. I keep punishing myself saying she should have gone to a different home. But then I remember back she was the last nobody wanted in her litter. I have the memory of taking her home for the first time so strong. I have other pets rabbits from her family related to her, but Little Girl was my first. Little Girl was the one I only had a deep connection with and was my special one, she had the best and kindest temperament. She was a cautious rabbit but seemed wise.

    I have to carry on for my other rabbits but now my special first rabbit is gone, I find it hard to love them. Its been a short time, but I feel guilty for burying her this morning and carrying on. It was very emotional, and thought to myself I can never move home ever in the future now she is buried here in the back garden. Unless the new owners let me visit. The pain is so intense and guilt.

    Welcome to the forum Oliver

    I am sorry to hear about your wonderful Little Girl. She sounds to have been a darling.

    It's hard to lose any rabbit, but as you say, Google can be your enemy here. Yes some rabbits live longer than others, but Little Girl had six years and some rabbits don't even live six months. She had a safe and loving home with you and that's more than many rabbits know in this world.

    Your grief is very raw and you will blame yourself and feel guilty. But we have to trust our vets to do the best they can. I have nursed a rabbit with a tumour and I understand how vets treat these sort of things and how difficult they are.

    You did the kindest thing helping her to the Bridge and she would have been proud of you.

    Please feel free to post more about her, and photos and possibly a tribute in Rainbow Bridge if you would like.
    Up to date and comprehensive info on RHD2:
    http://forums.rabbitrehome.org.uk/sh...16-Sept/page14
    An extensive guide to all things RHD2 - Please Vaccinate!

  4. #4
    Mama Doe binkyCodie's Avatar
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    sending big hugs to you. you did all that you could. please, take care of yourself. none of this is your fault, you did do all that you could. I applaud you in your braveness and kindness actions to put her to sleep. I realise it hurts, however it was the best decision.

    I am very sure she would come back and say thank you, just one last time. she sound like she had a wonderful life, and a wonderful owner. think of the others who could have brought her home, a lot of the time rabbits who are given up for free are fed to other animals or abused. she was extremely lucky to have you bring her home.

    you can not blame yourself for what you didn't know. you had no idea she had the tumour. you perhaps even had no idea rabbits could be spayed. perhaps she couldn't be. what has happened has happened, as harsh as that sounds. you need to take care of you.

    it hurts, so very much. you can try your damndest and still lose these little guys. they're so small, so fragile. it feels like a defeat and a kick in the gut.

    try to take it easy. give yourself a few days, perhaps even weeks. I fought so hard for my little boy and he never made it, I never really got over it, I do miss him dearly. it will never truly go away, they will always be with you, but slowly the pain will lessen.

    it doesn't work for everybody, but I found creating a memorial helpful. I had my little boy cremated, I put his ashes in a box and hand decorated it it lives on my shelf now, sometimes when I really miss him or feel alone, I hold it.

    it might be to early for that, only you will know.

    I am sorry you found this forum under such dire circumstances, and we are all strangers to you. however we are all here to help, and offer support if we can. you are more than welcome to stick around. if you need any help via mental health wise or counselling, some of us could even advise that too.

    I will say it once again, please do take care of yourself. be easy on yourself. give yourself some time. grief is like an open wound, it will slowly heal but it does take time. allow yourself to cry, speak about it, perhaps you will find ways to cope.. a memorial, a collage of her, statues of bunnies around her burial, painting, dedicating your life to raising awareness of these things.

    xxx
    Snoopy : 14.02.15 - 12.05.17 [mini rex]👑Luna : 14.02.15 [rex]👑Orion : 21.10.17 [mini rex]

  5. #5
    Forum Buddy mini lop1's Avatar
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    😢 so sorry for your loss, she sounded well loved and will be grateful for that love you have her xx

  6. #6
    Wise Old Thumper
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    I am so sorry you had to say Goodbye to Little Lady. It can be a very painful experience when we lose a pet and we can feel we weren't caring for them properly. It is devastating. Take care x

  7. #7

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    Iím sorry for your loss .

    I know how youíre feeling ; my baby bunny died just a few days ago and the devastation is still raw .

    Non rabbit owners donít understand how much of a beloved pet they are.

    You will feel better in a few days , it does get easier .

  8. #8
    Alpha Buck Craig 1965's Avatar
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    Welcome Oliver and I am so sorry that you lost your beautiful Little Girl. Your grieving shows how much you cared and how much she meant to you and you gave her a wonderful life filled with love and other rabbits. Every one of us on the forum have lost rabbits and we all know the feeling of losing a special rabbit. For some, talking about it helps. For others, not so. We all deal with it differently and in some ways, we all feel a hole in our lifes that doesn't seem to be replaced. You did all you could and all the right things and I understand how the guilt feels when this happens. There's no hard and fast rules about how long rabbits live for. Its a very dependant factor. But what is important is the love and care you give and gave that means the most to the rabbits.
    Please use the forum as much as you feel comfortable with. I joined under similar circumstances and I have learned so much in such a short time and have had the most wonderful support from wonderful supporting caring people. I appreciate that it's a hard time, and you are right to give your energy to your other rabbits but it's important to hold value to Little Girl and treasure the memories of her. We all take a different amount of time to get over things so there's no pressure on you. Take care.

  9. #9

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    Thank you Leannean27 for your message. Yes this is a good idea "I would write down in a diary or notepad everything you can about her, her little quirks, the things she did that made you smile, laugh" She used to bury her friend La-La under straw. Like people playing on the beach in the sand. Little Girl would cover every part of her in straw, while La-La just sat there

    I know the tumour was large, but I never felt her stomach the same in depth way the vet did, he went really deep and felt her intensely. I would worry if I pulled something as I have no training. The tumour was internal, it was just my stupidity of three week before not realising the weight loss that related. I just thought she needed more sugary items. She still ate and drank, I was under the impression rabbits weren't in any pain if they ate happily, so brushed the weight loss as something to sort with more sugary contents. But you are very right they are bad at showing pain.

  10. #10

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    Thank you for this message, I really do appreciate other people who have been in a similar situation. I received a card through the post today from the vet that put her to sleep earlier this week. It was a very kind gestured and confirmed that he knew she was very loved and the pain I was in. I know I did the kindest thing for her this is what the vet put in the card he sent.

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